2026 Reading Death Match - Checkpoint 1

We compare books. Hopes are raised and dashed. Determination grows.  The stakes have never been higher.  Shonen anime intro. Cyrus summons their smuggest expressions. Sarah gets really sheepish about the Resident Evil franchise. Both of us double down on a bad analogy. We soundproofed our recording area so successfully that when we lament a billion times about the volume of our chickens, you can't hear any of them. Support the show

The first month of the reading death match has passed, and your fighters are already at each other's throats. Sarah promises that this time she's really going to do it. Cyrus swears that everyone's hatred only makes them stronger. Who is in the lead? Who will end up full of knife wounds at the bottom of the stairs??? Only time will tell...Support the show

Ole Sarah needs a win, and by GOD she is going to get one. Or else she is making that everyone else's problem. In this episode, we hash out the rules for the contest that will finally tear us apart: Who Can Read More Books This Year. First half of the episode, we litigate exactly that that means. Second half of the episode? Establishing the stakes. Come 2027, this house might have a soft serve machine or PS5, but it will DEFINITELY have a homemade garden statue of one of us with the word "WINNER" underneath. Support the show

We're back on that Animorphs grind, this time covering The Test, The Unexpected, The Revelation, The Deception, and The Resistance. And guys, these books that are meant for children are getting DEEP into what constitutes a war crime, what it means to sacrifice a loved one for the greater good, and how cool it would be to be a kangaroo. Support the show

It doesn't get much zeitgeist-ier than this episode's book, Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, a non-political (press f to doubt) hard sci-fi about overcoming your own pathetic cowardice and saving the universe all by yourself except with ten thousand other people and also an alien. Also it's REALLY HOT, but our hosts only complain about it a little bit, I swear. Support the show

This week, Sarah and Cyrus take a look at back at their lofty goals for 2026 and see how far along they're getting in their TBR piles - as expected, it quickly devolves into a competition, as these things often to. Come and hang out with us as we go over the books our intrepid readers have loved and hated so far this year, with a sidebar into abusing the cat and contemplating whether or not it's time to use the Desk Gun. Support the show

In this episode, EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS! The heady rush of triumph, the crushing blow of betrayal, the anguish of stealing failure from the jaws of success: all this and more can be found in Sarah's beloved HelloChinese app. We discuss Sarah's attempts at teaching herself Chinese, through the lens of "Fluent Forever: How to Learn Any Language Fast and Never Forget It" by Gabriel Wyner. You'd be surprised at how much you can learn from Arnold Schwarzenegger exploding a dog. Support the show

This week, two idiots discuss a third. We read Apparently, Sir Cameron Needs to Die by Greer Stothers, the story of a craven buffoon and the asshole he's pestering. We saw a lot of ourselves in the characters. But first, we take a long walk through the Wichita airport, fast food moral failings, and United's war of attrition on the human psyche. Like we do talk about the book to be clear, but much like us on our recent travel day, it sure does take us a while to get anywhere. Support the show

Want to know a secret? Cleaning sucks. Want to know an even bigger secret? There are books that are supposed to help you deal with how much cleaning sucks! This week, Cyrus and Sarah dive into a few different nonfiction books about how to keep your space clean to see if any of it seems helpful. Spoiler alert - a huge chunk of this episode is about vibrators. You've been warned. Support the show

This week we're talking about the ultimate topic writers love to talk about: writing. God, writers love talking about writing. Cyrus takes a break from cranking out their novel to issue death threats and discuss their evolving take on imposter syndrome. Sarah indulges in a little therapy and discloses her top five coping techniques. Suicide Squad and Tremors both feature more than you might expect. All statements about killing Tom Cruise are just quirky lil jokes :3Support the show