The Subtle Art of Upgrading Your Relationships with Jake Thompson

Are the people you spend time with making you better or holding you back? This episode examines Jim Rohn's famous idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jake Thompson, a leadership performance coach and the Chief Encouragement Officer at Compete Every Day, joins the show to unpack this powerful concept. He has spent over a decade working with leaders at organisations like Deloitte and the Dallas Cowboys, helping them achieve better results. Jake started his brand, Compete Every Day, in 2011 by selling t-shirts from his car and has since impacted over 80,000 leaders and hosts a top 1% global podcast. In this conversation, Jake and Andy Lopata explore how to intentionally build a professional "starting lineup" while allowing personal relationships to grow organically. They discuss the critical difference between evaluating professional peers based on success and personal friends based on shared values and energy. Learn how to identify "drains" versus "radiators" in your life and the subtle art of the "slow fade"—distancing yourself from relationships that no longer serve your growth without confrontation. This episode is a masterclass in auditing your inner circle to ensure it aligns with the person you aspire to become. What we discussed: Your "Starting Five" Are the people you spend the most time with secretly holding you back, or are they the key to unlocking your future success? Values vs. Success: Should you judge your friends by their achievements or by something deeper? Discover the one quality that truly defines a valuable relationship. Drains vs. Radiators: Do you leave conversations feeling energised or exhausted? Learn the simple way to identify the "energy vampires" in your life. The "Slow Fade" Technique: Is it possible to end a draining friendship without a dramatic confrontation? Uncover the subtle art of "consciously uncoupling" from people who no longer fit in your life. The Power of Disagreement: Why surrounding yourself with people who only agree with you could be the biggest mistake you're making for your personal growth. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Jake Thompson: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

What happens when two traditional "alpha males"—a former rugby league champion and an ex-infantryman—sit down for a raw, unfiltered conversation about modern masculinity? Prepare to be challenged. In this powerful episode from the archives, host Andy Lopata brings together Luke Ambler, founder of the transformative men’s support network Andy’s Man Club, and Dion Jensen, a New Zealand special forces veteran and mental health advocate. Born from environments where showing weakness was a liability, both men now champion vulnerability as the ultimate strength. This is not a comfortable, politically correct chat. It’s a no-holds-barred exploration of the "toxic masculinity" debate, the role of men in a post-#MeToo world, and the crucial impact of leadership in shaping culture. From the changing rooms of professional sports to the front lines of conflict, Luke and Dion dissect why men struggle to open up and how leaders can create the psychological safety needed for genuine connection and high performance. This is the conversation every leader needs to hear about the unspoken dynamics in their teams. Key Takeaways Is the ultimate display of a leader's strength actually their willingness to be vulnerable first? What if "toxic masculinity" isn't a personality trait, but a product of the environments we fail to control? Why might the most effective champions for mental health be the very "alpha males" society often misunderstands? How can you create a culture of absolute safety where your team feels empowered to take off their "masks" and connect? Actionable Insights Lead with Vulnerability: In your next team meeting, be the first to share a professional challenge you're facing or a recent mistake you learned from. By modeling vulnerability, you grant permission for others to be open and build a foundation of trust. Define Your Environment’s Rules: As a leader, you are the chief of your tribe. Explicitly define and communicate the non-negotiable cultural rules for your team (e.g., "We address conflict directly," "We celebrate each other's wins"). An undefined environment breeds toxicity. Engineer Hope into Your Check-ins: Borrowing from Andy’s Man Club, don’t just ask your team what’s wrong. Make it a mandatory part of every one-on-one or team meeting to ask, “Tell me one positive from your week.” This actively builds a culture of hope and resilience. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Luke Ambler: Website  Connect with Dion Jensen: Website  The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 144 Toxic Masculinity' with Luke Ambler and Dion Jensen

Are your strongest, most energetic leaders secretly drowning? In this powerful episode of  Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy goes into the archives for a conversation that is more relevant today than ever before. He revisits the very first episode of the podcast, featuring two senior corporate leaders who appeared to have it all—until they didn't. This isn't just another talk on mental health; it's a raw, honest look inside the minds of high-achievers who hit rock bottom. Discover why the "brighter the light, the darker the shadow," and why the people you least expect are often the most vulnerable. Our guests, Jeff McDonald, former Global VP of HR for Unilever, and Perry Burton, Head of People and Culture at Grant Thornton, share their deeply personal stories. They shatter the myth that leadership is about invincibility and expose the performative wellness trap—where "bananas in the canteen" and a single "wellbeing week" replace genuine, strategic investment in people's health. Listen to learn how to transform your organisation's culture from one that diminishes its people to one that enhances their lives, making health the ultimate driver of performance. Key Takeaways The Brightest Lights Cast the Darkest Shadows: High-performers and seemingly energetic, positive leaders are often exceptionally good at masking their internal struggles. Vulnerability is a Leadership Superpower: When leaders share their own struggles, it normalises the conversation, reduces stigma, and creates a culture where it’s safe for others to ask for help. Health is a Performance Driver, Not a Perk: The energy of your people is your most critical asset. Asking for Help Isn't Giving Up; It's Refusing To: Seeking support is an act of strength and control, demonstrating a commitment to recovery and getting back on track. Actionable Insights Conduct a "Wellness Audit": As a leader, critically evaluate your company's efforts. Are you just offering perks (the "bananas in the canteen"), or are you actively changing workloads, management styles, and communication to genuinely reduce stress and enhance energy. Schedule Your Own "Self-Compassion" Block: You cannot pour from an empty glass. Block out 30 minutes in your calendar this week for a non-work activity you will not move (e.g., a walk without your phone, reading, listening to music). SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Geoff McDonald : Website |LinkedIn | Connect with Perry Burton: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Connected Leadership Gold: Geoff McDonald and Perry Burton

In a world fractured by tribalism and conflict, can the lessons learned from the frontlines of the Israeli-Palestinian divide transform how we lead? This episode isn't just a conversation; it's a raw, powerful, and profoundly human exploration of connection in the face of unimaginable division. Andy Lopata is joined by Danny Gal; Danny Gal is the author of The Belonging Paradox: How to Solve the Global Empathy Crisis. He is a leadership coach and social entrepreneur with over 30 years of experience working with leading companies like HP, Monday.com and Teva Pharmaceuticals. He has facilitated transformative dialogues, including bridge-building efforts between Israelis and Palestinians and the 1,000 Roundtables Dialogue, Israel’s largest public dialogue event. Grounded in the stark reality of the post-October 7th world, Danny shares why, for him, “despair is not an option.” He takes us inside the “safe spaces” he creates; sharing a stunning story of a Palestinian man who chose to build peace after his brother became a suicide bomber. But this is not just a geopolitical discussion. Danny masterfully translates these life-or-death lessons into the high-stakes environment of the modern workplace. He reveals why a CEO’s “authenticity” was destroying his team. He shares his four-step algorithm for offering “graceful challenges” that build people up, and why true empathy isn't about being nice—it's about your speed of recovery from conflict. This is an essential episode for any leader struggling with division, echo chambers, and building genuine trust. Danny delivers a masterclass in navigating the toughest human dynamics to foster connection and lead with profound humanity, whether in the boardroom or on the world stage. What we discussed: 1.     What is the "Belonging Paradox," and how does mastering the tension between our need for uniqueness and our desire to belong unlock truly effective leadership? 2.     Why is our common understanding of empathy flawed? Discover why your ability to recover from conflict is a far more powerful measure than simply "feeling for" others. 3.     How can a leadership team’s biggest failures become their greatest asset in building unbreakable trust? (Hint: It involves turning your next strategy meeting completely on its head). 4.     What happens when you sit down to truly listen to someone whose story fundamentally challenges your worldview, and how can this radical act of listening defuse even the most volatile conflicts at work? 5.     What is the simple, four-bullet algorithm that transformed a CEO's destructive criticism into empowering, "graceful challenges" that sparked innovation and loyalty? SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Danny Gal: Website |LinkedIn | Episode 205: Humanity Amidst Conflict with Will Kintish and Sobiya Jawaid Episode 199: How We Respond When Our Worldview Gets Challenged' with Noa Baum The Belonging Paradox: How to solve the global empathy crisis The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

Ready to flip the entire leadership hierarchy on its head? In this powerful episode, Andy sits down with Patrice Gordon, the trailblazer who became Virgin Atlantic's first-ever reverse mentor, ultimately mentoring the CEO and starting an organisational movement. If you think leadership wisdom only flows from the top down, this conversation will make you think again. Patrice unpacks the tactical playbook for reverse mentoring—a practice where senior leaders are guided by junior, often under-represented, colleagues to gain critical perspectives they’re missing in the boardroom. Patrice explains how they got the programme off the ground, how she navigated doing game-changing work "on the side of her desk", and the powerful way she shared her opinions to be seen as part of the solution, not the problem. This is a masterclass in closing the gap between the frontline and the head office, understanding new technology, and building a culture where everyone truly has a voice. Andy and Patrice examine the frameworks, the potential pitfalls, and the incredible impact of looking down the ladder for the insights you need to lead up. Learn how to unlock the hidden genius within your organisation and build a truly connected leadership team. What we discussed What if the secret to your company’s next big breakthrough lies with your most junior employee? Patrice Gordon reveals how to unlock it. Here are 5 key areas we explored: The Power Dynamics of Mentoring: We assume mentoring should be a two-way street. But what did Patrice learn about why starting a program as purely 'reverse' is critical for its success, and why jumping to 'reciprocal' too early can sabotage the entire relationship? Driving Change Without Authority: Taking on extra initiatives can lead to burnout or office politics. How did Patrice manage to launch groundbreaking programs outside her day job, and what's her non-negotiable rule for anyone wanting to do the same without damaging their reputation? Engaging the Un-engageable: What about the leaders who need reverse mentoring the most but resist it? Patrice shares a surprising strategy that involves not focusing on them. What does she advise you to do instead, and why could forcing a detractor to participate do more harm than good? The Blueprint for a Successful Program: Launching reverse mentoring without a plan is a recipe for disaster. What are the crucial first steps that ensure the program has a clear objective and is built for impact? Building a Foundation of Trust: How do you empower a junior employee to give candid, unfiltered feedback to a senior leader without fear? Discover the specific training structures and support systems Patrice implements to create a psychologically safe space where real conversations can finally happen.  SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Patrice Gordon: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

In this landmark celebration of the 300th episode of The Connected Leadership Podcast, Andy Lopata reflects on his original aim to explore the power of professional relationships and executive success. 300 extraordinary conversations; unforgettable stories of resilience, achievements and humanity, all linked to relationships. It has been humbling, inspiring and often moving. How to celebrate 300 conversations? This isn't just a look back; it's a deep dive into the essence of the show. Get ready for an episode packed with brilliant advice, profound wisdom, and unforgettable stories that capture the podcast at its very best. What do a Nobel Prize winner, two survivors of unimaginable trauma, and a British Muslim and Jew discussing the Middle East have in common? They all show us the power of connection in its most raw and impactful forms. In ThisSpecial Episode, You’ll Hear: Dr. Bob Lefkowitz on Natural Mentorship: The Nobel Laureate shares his surprisingly down-to-earth wisdom on mentoring. Discover why passion, embracing the journey, and learning from "negative role models" are more powerful than any formal strategy. Jo Berry & Richard McCann on Forgiveness: A profoundly moving segment as Jo and Richard share their harrowing stories of loss to terrorism and murder. Their conversation is a masterclass in empathy, resilience, and the courageous choice to build bridges where none seem possible. Sobiya Jawaid & Will Kintish on Courageous Dialogue: In one of the most timely conversations, listen as two people from different faiths find common ground amidst global conflict, proving that humanity and respect can transcend even the most polarising divides. Join us for this powerful celebration of what makes us human and what makes us leaders. Thank you for being part of our first 300 episodes—here's to 300 more. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Dr. Bob Lefkowitz: Website  Connect with Sobiya Jawaid: Website |LinkedIn | Connect with Will Kintish: Website |LinkedIn | Connect with Jo Berry: Website |LinkedIn | Connect with Richard McCan: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 127 Featuring Dr. Bob Lefkowitz Episode 186 Featuring Richard McCann and Jo Berry Episode 205  Featuring Will Kintish and Sobiya Jawaid

In this edition of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata returns to the archives for a classic conversation with Goldie Sayers, Olympic bronze medalist and former Team GB Captain. Goldie draws powerful parallels between the high-stakes world of elite sport and the challenges of corporate leadership. She explains the necessity of creating a support team where every expert understands their role in the service of a single, clear goal—a principle she believes many businesses overlook. Drawing on her experience captaining a team of individualistic athletes to huge success, Goldie discusses how to manage maverick talent, foster a team bond without stifling individuality, and unite everyone behind a common purpose. She also speaks candidly about navigating career-defining adversity, including the emotional impact of receiving her Olympic medal 11 years later due to a rival's doping violation. Goldie emphasises the importance of planning your next move by building a network before you need it. This episode is a masterclass in resilience, team dynamics, and navigating profound career transitions, offering invaluable lessons for leaders in any field. Key Takeaways Alignment Over Expertise: A team of brilliant but siloed experts is ineffective. True high performance comes when every member communicates and works in unison toward a single, clearly defined goal. Clarity is a Superpower: Unlike elite sport where the objective is crystal clear (e.g., the Olympics), businesses often suffer from a lack of purpose-clarity. When team members don't know what they're collectively pulling towards, productivity and morale suffer. Manage the Individual, Lead the Team: Leading high-performing individuals requires a delicate balance. It's crucial to set clear boundaries and a team code of conduct while allowing individuals the flexibility to work in the way that best suits them. Plan for Transition Early: Career transitions are an emotional journey, not just a practical one. The most successful transitions are gradual and well-planned, supported by a diverse network and mentors who have navigated similar paths. Adversity Requires Forward Focus: When faced with setbacks like injury or injustice, dwelling on the past is counterproductive. The key to resilience is to acknowledge the disappointment, learn from it, and immediately shift focus to the next goal. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Goldie Sayers: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 141 Featuring Goldie Sayers

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits a gem-filled conversation from the archives with Phil Jones, Managing Director of Brother UK, and Sam Rathling, founder of Pipeline 44. They discuss why it is crucial for modern leaders to actively engage on social media, particularly LinkedIn. Phil Jones shares his personal journey of leveraging platforms like Twitter and LinkedIn to build his personal brand, attract talent, and connect with customers. He argues that being active on social media is a necessary competency for today's leaders, sending a powerful message about the modernity and responsiveness of their organisation. Sam Rathling provides expert insights on how leaders can effectively build their digital reputation. She emphasises the power of authentic, original content and consistent engagement, which doesn't have to consume more than 10-15 minutes a day. The conversation covers practical tips on content creation, the importance of a human touch, and how to balance professional and personal insights. This episode is a compelling guide for any leader looking to understand the strategic importance of social media and how to make it an integral, yet manageable, part of their role. Key Takeaways Social Media is a Core Leadership Competency: Being active on social media is no longer optional for senior leaders; it's an essential skill for modern leadership, influencing talent acquisition, customer perception, and personal reputation. Time Commitment is Minimal: A significant impact can be made in just 10-15 minutes per day, covering both content creation and engagement. Authenticity and Personalisation are Crucial: Leaders should write their own content to maintain an authentic voice. Sharing personal stories that include a professional lesson helps build a human connection. Engagement Drives Visibility: Actively commenting on others' posts and responding to comments on your own is critical for extending the reach of your content and building relationships. Actionable Insights Implement the 10-Minute Challenge: Dedicate 10-15 minutes each day to LinkedIn. Use this time to scroll through your newsfeed, engage with posts from your network by liking and commenting, and post your own original content three times a week. Audit Your LinkedIn Profile: Look at your profile from the perspective of a potential customer, a top-tier job candidate, and a business partner. Assess if it represents the best version of you and your company's brand. Find Your Content Lanes: Identify 2-3 areas of expertise or passion related to your professional life (e.g., leadership, sales, company culture). Focus your content creation on sharing unique knowledge and insights within these fields to build a reputation as a thought leader. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Sam Rathling: Website |LinkedIn | Connect with Phil Jones: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 137 Featuring Sam Rathling and Phil Jones

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits his conversation with Alisa Cohn, executive coach and author of From Startup to Grown Up. Alisa Cohn, named the Top Startup Coach in the World, shares her insights on the crucial role of professional relationships at various stages of a leader's journey. Andy and Alisa discuss the concept of "champions" in one's network and emphasise nurturing relationships authentically rather than for a specific purpose. Alisa provides strategies for leaders at different stages and they look at adapting networking strategies in a post-pandemic world, highlighting the value of virtual connections and creativity. Alisa also stresses that leaders must "find a way" to build relationships, as it is essential for career growth. The discussion also touches on the psychological aspects of leadership, such as managing self-talk, and offers practical advice for co-founder dynamics and navigating difficult conversations with scripts Alisa provides in her book. Key Takeaways: Networking is Non-Negotiable: Building and nurturing relationships is essential for your career, and you must always find a way to connect with others, regardless of external circumstances. Strategic Relationship Building: The key people you need in your network evolve as your career progresses; be strategic about connecting with mentors, investors, peers, or customers depending on your current stage. Authenticity Over Transaction: The most powerful relationships are nurtured naturally over time. Concentrate on being helpful and authentic, and you will reap the benefits. Lead Yourself First: Your self-image and internal dialogue directly impact your ability to build relationships. Managing your own mindset is the first step to effective leadership. Communication is Foundational: Clear communication, especially around expectations and values, is critical for preventing conflict and building strong partnerships. Actionable Insights: Map Your Network Needs: Identify what career stage you are in (startup, scale-up, or established leader) and list the three types of connections that would be most valuable to you right now. Then, devise a strategy to meet people in those categories. Practice Positive Outreach: The next time you reach out to someone new, do your research first. Reference something specific you admire about their work, explain the mutual value in connecting, and if possible, mention a shared contact with context. Develop a "Co-founder Prenup": If you have a business partner, set aside time to discuss and align on core values, long-term vision, and how you will handle disagreements. This proactive conversation can prevent future conflicts.  SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Alisa Cohnr: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 135 Featuring Alisa Cohn

What if a single, catastrophic event could completely reshape your understanding of human connection? For Michelle Mills-Porter, surviving the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami did just that, turning personal tragedy into a profound mission to understand the core of effective collaboration. In this wide ranging episode, Andy Lopata is joined by Michelle Mills-Porter, an award-winning business owner and human behaviour expert, for a powerful conversation that journeys from the shores of Sri Lanka to the heart of professional relationships. Michelle recounts her harrowing experience and how the community that formed in its aftermath became the bedrock of her life's work. She explains the crucial difference between simple cooperation and true collaboration, offering listeners her "golden rules" through a memorable "collaboration pie" analogy. Andy and Michelle look deeper into the personal dynamics that underpin successful teamwork. Michelle speaks with vulnerability and insight about her own neurodivergence, explaining how her ADHD diagnosis brought clarity to her life and career. She provides practical guidance on how leaders can navigate different personality styles, manage conflict, and understand the deep-seated "core drivers" that shape our interactions. This episode is an essential guide to building stronger, more resilient, and genuinely collaborative relationships. What we discussed: From Tsunami Survivor to Collaboration Expert: How can the most extreme adversity reveal the secrets to human connection and the "magnificence of humanity"? The Collaboration Pie: Are you and your team truly collaborating, or just cooperating? Learn the vital difference and the rules for ensuring everyone contributes and benefits equally. The Neurodivergent Advantage: How can understanding different ways of thinking, such as ADHD, become a superpower for building innovative and effective teams? Beyond Personality Clashes: What are the subconscious "core drivers" that dictate our relationships, and how can we navigate them to foster understanding instead of conflict? The Sting of Rejection: Discover what Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is and how this powerful emotional response can secretly impact your team's dynamics and your own. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Michelle Mills-Porter: Website |LinkedIn | X The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring