How to Disagree in a Way That Earns Respect

How often have you heard the rhetoric that if you want success badly enough, if you work hard enough, you’ll find success? As women, we grow up with a promise—from little girls who can “be whatever we want to be” to full-grown “girl bosses,” the world is our equal-opportunity oyster. But the data doesn’t prove this out. It’s that data Stefanie O’Connell breaks down and picks apart in her new book, The Ambition Penalty, and in our honest and research-backed conversation. As her book’s tagline says, “corporate culture tells women to step up―and then pushes them down.” Whether this feels all too real to you or you’re skeptical, Stefanie’s exploration of the metrics and the myths will get you thinking about how you challenge inequality in every environment where it still thrives.Stop blaming yourself and start challenging the status quo:Why prioritizing self-optimization can backfire;The systems we should be holding accountable for the ongoing inequality;The problem with the male victimhood narrative;What happens when we model healthy power and gender dynamics to our children?Related Links:Listen to Episode 408, Women and the Ambition Penalty - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode408Connect with Stefanie on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/stefanieoconnell/Pre-order The Ambition Penalty - https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-ambition-penalty-how-corporate-culture-tells-women-to-step-up-and-then-pushes-them-down-stefanie-o-connell/bf6de978036a09ffSubscribe to Too Ambitious on Substack - https://tooambitious.substack.com/Follow Stefanie on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/TAKE ACTION with Bossed Up - https://www.bossedup.org/takeactionBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When someone at work shares an opinion you don’t agree with, what’s your response? Do you move on with an agreeable nod, or do you push back? All too often, we take the former route. So many of us are taught not to rock the boat by expressing disagreement. But here’s my hot take: you can share your honest and dissenting opinion in a way that wins you major leadership points.In fact, I firmly believe that disagreeing shouldn’t be as rare as it is, especially from those in leadership positions. Disagreeing without being disagreeable changes how people perceive you and can open some promising doors for both your career and your team’s future. So let’s embrace these three steps to highlight your critical thinking skills and earn respect:Ask this key follow-up question that directs your dissent;Embrace an accessible hack for the hard part: sharing your hot takeAnd finally, the thoughtful structure that showcases your thought leadership.Related Links:SPEAK UP: A Live Assertive Communication Course for Women in the Workplace - https://www.bossedup.org/speakupBuy Bossed Up, the book - https://www.bossedup.org/bookBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How do you rest and recharge when the world feels chaotic? After an unexpectedly hectic December, the Bossed Up podcast is back with a look at what recharging really requires—and it’s not quitting everything or carrying on as usual. I’ve come to realize that the sweet spot, at least for me, is somewhere in the middle. This episode breaks down the balance I’m seeking to find this year, and I’d love to hear how it compares to your approach to the New Year. Between seriously scary news cycles and never-ending schedules, it’s all too easy to overlook gratitude in lieu of existential dread and getting everything done. Consider this your invitation to take a beat, drop a ball (or two), and approach 2026 with a healthy dose of self-compassion.Join me in recalibrating for 2026 so we can recharge for real:How we can strike a balance between pushing forward and being present;The role gratitude plays in staying realistic about the future;When and where to decenter social media and lean into the analog;A reminder to give your personal calendar a bit of love.Related Links:TAKE ACTION - https://www.bossedup.org/takeactionGet a copy of The Husbands by Holly Gramazio - https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-husbands-a-read-with-jenna-pick-a-novel-holly-gramazio/658e8495219fe107EP 525 “Resisting Despair: Coping Tools for a Declining Democracy” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode525Try out the BePresent app - https://www.bepresentapp.com/Bossed Up job search resources - https://www.bossedup.org/free-resources/job-searchThe Definitive Guide to Negotiating as a Woman - https://www.bossedup.org/negotiationBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How can you advocate for yourself when you’re operating in a broken system? We’re gearing up to face even more unprecedented times in 2026. And recent research shows, unsurprisingly, that inclusive and DEIB policies continue to be phased out while hostile work environments expand. Many of us are all too familiar with the lack of resources out there to help us cope with all this, especially options specific to Black women and Women of Color, who face the brunt of this ongoing shift.That’s the landscape that prompted Sarah Boyd to found The Formation, an app that serves up “real talk, real resources, and real tight-knit community” for Black women navigating the realities of corporate America. She joins me to break down her evidence-backed recommendations for how we should protect ourselves while we fight the bigger fight of fixing our broken systems.Start documenting everything and finding your career clarity as we cover:How corporate changes are impacting Black women and Women of Color;Why you need to keep your work receipts—all of them;How to frame your stretch work and find your ideal audience;The innate gap-filling gift so many women have, and how to maximize it.Related Links:Connect with Sarah on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahwilliamsboyd/The Formation community - https://www.weareyourformation.com/The DISRUPT program - https://www.weareyourformation.com/our-programWomen in the Workplace 2025 - https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/women-in-the-workplaceLanguage Bias in Performance Feedback 2024, Textio - https://textio.com/feedback-bias-2024“Get Unstuck: Make a Plan to Move Your Career Forward”, LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/learning/get-unstuck-make-a-plan-to-move-your-career-forwardBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What can you do to help turn the widening gender pay gap around? For 20 years, American workers watched as the discrepancy between men’s and women’s incomes slowly lessened. Then, this October, a new report showed that the positive trend is reversing. Women in the U.S. are now making 76 cents for every dollar men make—a difference of around $14,000 a year. In this episode, I’m breaking down why we’re seeing this shift and what we can do about it. Do your part to close the gender wage gap:Learn 3 powerful ways you can make a positive difference in the fight for pay equality;Hear which 36 million households bear the brunt of this impact;And what the data has to say about this shift in momentum.Related Links:National Partnership for Women and Families, “America’s Women and the Wage Gap” - https://nationalpartnership.org/report/americas-women-and-the-wage-gap/Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, “Executive Order 11246” - https://www.eeoc.gov/history/executive-order-no-11246\Bossed Up, “The Definitive Guide to Negotiating as a Woman” - https://www.bossedup.org/negotiationLinkedIn Learning Course, “Negotiating Your Compensation Package” - https://www.linkedin.com/learning/negotiating-your-compensation-packageEpisode 462, “Understand Pay Transparency and Your Rights as a Job Seeker” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode462Episode 444, “Are Pay Transparency Laws Working?” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode444Episode 422, “What Actually Creates Gender Equality at Work?” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode422Episode 317, “Making Progress on Equal Pay Day” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode317Bossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

As managers and employees, how can we ensure that we support equitable disability accommodations for everyone? The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) offers a wealth of protections, but many workers and leaders are unaware of what these protections entail. Luckily, there are experts like Rachel Shaw out there to shed light on their intricacies and help educate us all.Rachel is a leading strategist in workplace inclusion and disability compliance and the author of “The Disabled Workforce: What the ADA Never Anticipated.” She joins me to add clarity to the laws in place to protect people with disabilities—including mental health and pregnancy—and ensure we have access to an equitable work environment that allows us all to be productive contributors, whatever differences of ability we might experience in our lifetimes. Understand your rights and responsibilities around disability inclusion:The most proactive and effective way to ask for an accommodation;The essential accommodation process every organization needs to develop;How much it really costs companies to approve employee requests;What’s missing from the ADA and how it’s being addressed.Related Links:Connect with Rachel Shaw on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-shaw-00037745/Learn more about Rachel’s work - https://rachelshaw.com/Buy “The Disabled Workforce” - https://www.amazon.com/Disabled-Workforce-What-Never-Anticipated/dp/1544708599Episode 390, How to Manage ADHD in the Workplace - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode390Episode 460, Balancing Work with a Complicated Pregnancy - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode460Episode 123, Pursuing a Promotion While Pregnant - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode123Episode 335, What do mom-friendly Workplaces look like and how to create them - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode335   Episode 311, How to Talk About Marital Status, Parental Status, and Pregnancy in the Interview - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode311Episode 315, How to Talk About Disability or Chronic Illness in the Job Interview - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode315LEVEL UP: a Leadership Accelerator for Women on the Rise - https://www.bossedup.org/levelupBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How do you find contentment in the face of career compromise? So many of us want to “have it all,” but the weight of trying to be it all is crushing - and totally unrealistic. So if you find yourself struggling to keep your head up while navigating necessary trade-offs, today’s episode is for you. In order to even come close to our ultimate career goals, we need to accept that compromises are part of the package. In this episode, I take a look at how we can reframe those tough choices as steps to success, rather than as a failure to measure up. Start to see your career compromises in a new light by learningHow to come to terms with the work–life trade-offs you might need to make;How to ensure you’re not sabotaging yourself when faced with imperfect opportunities;And a practical way to create a container for your ultimate career strategy.Related Links:Episode 504, Girl Power and the Faux Feminism of the 1990s - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode504Episode 523, What Our 2025 Community Survey Reveals About Women, Work, and Burnout - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode523Episode 498, The Case for the “Good Enough” Job - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode498Episode 340, Why a Career Strategy is Important and How to Create a Plan - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode340Negotiating Your Compensation Package LinkedIn Learning Course - https://www.linkedin.com/learning/negotiating-your-compensation-package?trk=course_title&upsellOrderOrigin=default_guest_learningBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How would a one-month mini-retirement benefit your mental health? I know I’m not alone in feeling burnt out these days. And while the idea of four weeks away from work—to rest, to recalibrate, to pursue a passion—might feel out of reach, Jillian Johnsrud knows firsthand how to make it happen.Jillian’s book, “Retire Often,” is the culmination of everything she’s learned from her own dozen short sabbaticals and from coaching hundreds of fellow mini-retirees. If you’ve been feeling dragged down by work stress, now is definitely the time to get inspired by Jillian’s philosophy and how it’s changed her life, transforming her into a middle-aged mom of five with the energy to seize every day with creativity and positivity. Start planning your first mini-retirement equipped with Jillian’s advice, includingPractical considerations that make it possible;Why mini-retirements affect women differently than men;How to convince your boss to sign off;Why the American workplace shuns the idea of extended time off.Related Links:Buy the “Retire Often” book - https://retireoften.com/bookThe “Retire Often” Podcast - https://retireoften.com/podcast/Work with Jillian - https://retireoften.com/group-coaching/U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, “Paid Leave Benefits” - https://www.bls.gov/charts/employee-benefits/paid-leave-sick-vacation-days-by-service-requirement.htmPew Research Group, “The ‘Leisure Gap’ Between Mothers and Fathers” - https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2013/10/17/the-leisure-gap-between-mothers-and-fathers/Episode 501, “Four Best Practices to Navigate Layoff Anxiety & Uncertainty” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode501Episode 521, “In a Tight Job Market, Job-Hugging is on the Rise” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode521Episode 516, “The Power Pause: Rebranding the Stay-at-Home Mom” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode516Episode 468, “Disrupting Elder Care: We Need To Talk More About Working Daughters” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode468Episode 463, “A Different Approach to My Second Maternity Leave” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode463Episode 402, “How to Financially Prepare for Layoffs” - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode402TAKE ACTION with Bossed Up - https://www.bossedup.org/takeactionBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How do we advocate for equity amidst federal policy changes that actively widen gender and racial gaps?Since April, a record-low unemployment rate for Black Americans has skyrocketed, surging from below 5% to 7.5%. At the same time, the unemployment rate for white Americans dropped slightly to below 4%. The economic position for Black women in particular was just beginning to get better, and today, slashed public sector jobs and a slew of other factors are causing a rapid backslide.When people of color, and especially Black women, lose ground, it’s a flashing neon warning sign of systemic cracks that, ultimately, impact us all. In this episode, I’m breaking down the of data that highlights just how heavily our current economic problems are impacting American workers, families, and communities.The numbers don’t lie. Here’s what they show:The federal and public sector job cuts are disproportionately impacting Black women;Attacks on DEI programs are stifling improvements that had barely begun;Good leadership today looks like advocating for equity and opportunity for all.Related Links:Joint Center for Economic and Policy Research, “The Best Black Economy in Generations – And Why It Isn’t Enough” - https://jointcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/The-Best-Black-Economy-in-Generations-Final.pdfEconomic Policy Institute, “What’s behind rising unemployment for Black workers?” - https://www.epi.org/blog/whats-behind-rising-unemployment-for-black-workers/The New York Times, “The Racial Wage Gap is Shrinking” - https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/19/briefing/juneteenth-racial-wage-gap.htmlThe New York Times, “In Trump’s Federal Work Force Cuts, Black Women Are Among the Hardest Hit” - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/31/us/politics/trump-federal-work-force-black-women.htmlMSNBC, “300,000 Black women have left the labor force in 3 months. It’s not a coincidence.” - https://www.msnbc.com/know-your-value/business-culture/300000-black-women-left-labor-force-3-months-s-not-coincidence-rcna219355The New York Times, “Black Unemployment Is Surging Again. This Time Is Different.” - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/12/business/economy/black-unemployment-federal-layoffs-diversity-initiatives.htmlThe New York Times, “Trump Fires Black Officials From an Overwhelmingly White Administration” - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/08/us/politics/black-leaders-trump.htmlThe White House, “Ending Illegal Discrimination and Restoring Merit-Based Opportunity” - https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/ending-illegal-discrimination-and-restoring-merit-based-opportunity/The New York Times, “How Corporate America Is Retreating From D.E.I.” - https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/03/13/business/corporate-america-dei-policy-shifts.htmlBrookings, “Black wealth is increasing, but so is the racial wealth gap - https://www.brookings.edu/articles/black-wealth-is-increasing-but-so-is-the-racial-wealth-gap/Episode 526, The Double Tax: What It Really Costs Women of Color to Succeed - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode526TAKE ACTION with Bossed Up - https://www.bossedup.org/takeactionBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We tell women to negotiate harder, lean in, and ask for what they’re worth. But what if the system was designed to make that impossible? Economist Anna Gifty Opoku-Agyeman calls it the double tax—the compounded price of racism and sexism that drains women of color’s time, money, and energy just to show up and succeed.In this episode, we unpack how that hidden tax shows up at work—from policing what it means to be “presentable” to the unconscious stereotypes women of color navigate before they even get the job —and what it means for the ways women negotiate, lead, and thrive. Anna breaks down the numbers and the stories behind them, revealing why individual fixes aren’t enough and what real equity could look like when we stop asking women to bear the cost alone. Tune in now to learn: Listen in to learn:Just how widespread the “double tax” really is;The deeply ingrained politics of presentability every woman navigates;How biases and stigmas follow women of color throughout their careers;Why building connection is the foundational step we needRelated Links:The Double Tax by Anna Gifty Opoku-Agyeman - https://annagifty.com/Connect with Anna on LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/annagifty/Follow Anna on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itsafronomics/Follow Anna on Bluesky - https://bsky.app/profile/itsafronomics.bsky.social/Episode 322, How to be a Leader People Actually Like - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode322Episode 456, How Connection Can Cure What Ails Us - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode456Episode 497, Where Have All the Good Friends Gone? - https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode497HIRED: a job search accelerator video course - https://www.bossedup.org/hired/Bossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.