Dr. Cheryl Fraser: Improve Your Relationship – Part 2

Do you believe in soulmates? How do you find "The One?" ­ -- that one true love of your life?  It seems so challenging at times that there must be some sort of secret code, right?  Well, here to demystify the process is relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas.  She talks about the dynamics of healthy relationships and how to set intentions in that direction. She also examines what happens when people divorce (especially through the court system). She explains how it IS possible, if things don't work out, to "consciously uncouple."  She notes that the "happily-ever-after" myth was invented just 400 years ago when people had much shorter life spans. Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After" and the national bestseller, "Calling in "The One:" 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life." She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist. Katherine is the originator of the "Conscious Uncoupling" process as well as creator of the "Calling in 'The One:' 49 Days to Love" online course. Info: www.KatherineWoodwardThomas.com. We air this interview, originally taped in Sept. 2018, in honor of Katherine, who made her transition recently.

What if you knew you held the power of destiny in your hands and could create your own vibrant future? Do you want to radically change your life for the better? According to today's guest, best-selling author Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT, it is indeed possible! Katherine is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After," and the national bestseller, "Calling in "The One:" 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life." She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has taught thousands of people worldwide.     Today Katherine explains a very powerful technique whereby you look to your ideal future, then live from that future backward. She invites us to ask ourselves, "Who am I called to become," then begin living from that place. Who would you need to be now to become that person? She explains how we can start from the future, to essentially create that future by practicing acting as our possible self. What's possible? What do you need to let go of? She further discusses how this is different from hope. It's about purposefully living through intention and alignment. Katherine teaches us that it is possible to evolve beyond our painful past and truly create a life we love! She discusses these ideas in free online webinars. Info: katherinewoodwardthomas.com.   We air this interview, originally taped in April 2022, in honor of Katherine, who made her transition recently.

Today Lisa continues her conversation with Michael Gelb, the world's leading authority on the application of genius thinking to personal and organizational development. He is a pioneer in the fields of creative thinking, accelerated learning, and innovative leadership. Michael leads seminars for organizations such as DuPont, Merck, Microsoft, and Nike. He brings more than 30 years of experience as a professional speaker, seminar leader and organizational consultant to his international clientele. Listen as they discuss highlights from his latest book, The Art of Connection: 7 Relationship-Building Skills Every Leader Needs Now. Info: michaelgelb.com. 

Would you like to feel closer to your partner? Would you like to communicate better? Lisa continues the conversation today with Dr. Cheryl Fraser, Buddhist psychologist, sex therapist, author, and speaker. She cites studies and shares examples about ways to have deeper conversations. She suggests talking with your partner without an agenda, just sharing and listening. She explores research that talks about sharing adventures with your partner, especially doing an intense and exciting activity together. Dr. Cheryl talks about how important it is to do new and different things together to break the typical routine. She suggests going on dates with your partner. It can be thrilling and bring us back to the early days of dating, when there was effort and intentionality. You can find hobbies together and make it a priority. It's important to carve out time and energy for each other. It is possible to be romantic and present with each other again. Dr. Cheryl has a popular podcast called "Sex, Love, & Elephants," and her latest book is "Buddha's Bedroom–The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion and Lifelong Intimacy." Info: drcherylfraser.com. This is Part 2 of the interview.

Do you still go to in-person meetings? We have all become accustomed to Zoom, Teams, and online meetings. Since the pandemic, it's good that we have technological shortcuts available. Oftentimes though, a text or email just won't work. Lisa's guest today, author Michael Gelb, argues that true meaningful relationships come from real interaction and are the key to creating innovative ideas and solving problems. Michael is the world's leading authority on the application of genius thinking to personal and organizational development. Listen as they discuss highlights from his latest book, The Art of Connection: 7 Relationship-Building Skills Every Leader Needs Now. This is Part 1 of the interview. Info: michaelgelb.com. 

 Do you believe that humans should mate for life? Is this natural? Relationships can be tough, especially long-term ones. It takes daily practice and patience. Today's guest is Buddhist psychologist, sex therapist, author, and speaker Dr. Cheryl Fraser. She talks about "modern marriage" and relationships. In the past, marriages were arranged, or people came together for the good of the tribe, the farm, and raising children together. She examines questions like, "Is long-term love dead?" and is "til death do us part" still relevant. People who are attempting monogamy may have a tough time. She suggests that long-term relationships can be used as a way to grow. Between 25-45% of people will end up in a divorce. And in certain places, it's much higher. In second marriages, the divorce rate is actually much higher. Dr. Cheryl mentions that there are many alternative ways to be in relationships. Younger people are no longer getting married early. They are waiting until they are older. We change so much in our teens and 20s, and she suggests that we do not rush into marriage. Take time for independence. Long-term love is possible; it just needs help sometimes. She talks about the most important factors in any relationship, including intimacy, communication, fair fighting, and how to repair and apologize if necessary. Dr. Cheryl has a popular podcast called "Sex, Love, & Elephants," and her latest book is "Buddha's Bedroom–The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion and Lifelong Intimacy." Info: drcherylfraser.com.

How many cycles of global warming have occurred over the lifetime of this planet? And where are we going from here? These are the kinds of questions asked in Dr. Anodea Judith's book "Waking the Global Heart: Humanity's Rite of Passage From Love of Power to the Power of Love." This work is considered groundbreaking in the field of Transpersonal Psychology and used as definitive texts in the U.S. and abroad. Today she discusses the history of the melting of the ice caps, the cycles of nature, and how humanity with carbon emissions, population growth, and so much more is affecting the planet. She states that we must evolve into a network which works together to begin to solve some of the global challenges. She talks about how more than 20% of the human population does not have access to clean drinking water. This is an environmental catastrophe. The United States could lead, but it would take a rite of passage. During this time, we are forced to look at terrorism and climate change. There are deaths, but we could look toward rebirth and more sustainable ways of living. As humans, we must graduate to another level. Civilizations are always rising and falling. This is a global world change. Every new moment has people who believe these ideas and concepts will not work. New ideas always get attacked and it may take decades for acceptance. We have an opportunity to move into an age of ethics, rather than an age of power. She reminds us that the cutting-edge of culture never comes from the mainstream – it always comes from the fringe. Anodea has been called "a prophet for our time." A groundbreaking thought leader and best-selling author, she worked as a therapist in private practice for more than 20 years. Today she is the director of Sacred Centers, a teaching organization she founded that offers workshops worldwide.  Judith holds a doctoral degree in Psychology and Human Health, is a  yoga teacher, and  is considered the foremost Western writer on the subject of the chakra system. She also is a faculty member of the Shift Network. Info:  AnodeaJudith.com.

Depression, anxiety, and addiction can all be linked back to unresolved grief. This can make us feel hopeless. Lisa continues the conversation today with psychotherapist and author John Tsilimparis who explains how to not get stuck in these feelings. We all go through trying times, and he shares ways to handle it. John talks about underlying loss and helps people convert those feelings. Grief is like a stream, and we can move through it. John also discusses why we worry. This can be an addiction as well. John tries to help people remember that things can be good. If we can accept that worry is a protective mechanism, we can study it. It can serve a purpose. We can learn to adapt. He asks us to focus on what is important to us and what we have control over. We have to look for those things, whether it's work, school, family, friends, etc. He talks about how people were so affected by the pandemic, because of the constant uncertainty. He suggests having a daily practice, which includes mindfulness and meditation. Even just 5 to 10 minutes will help and bring you back to your center. He also highly suggests that we reduce screen time. Excessive time on our phones and in front of a computer can affect our sleep and stress. It's important to get outside and spend a few minutes in nature. This can be as easy as just stepping outside and looking at the sun. John Tsilimparis is a distinguished psychotherapist, mental health consultant, podcast host, and former adjunct professor at Pepperdine University and UCLA Extension. He is the author of "The Magic in the Tragic: Rewriting the Script on Grief and Finding Happiness in Our Darkest Days" and "Retrain Your Anxious Brain." This is Part 2 of the interview. Info: johntsilimparis.com.

Millions of metric tons of plastic waste and microplastics are floating in our oceans. This impacts both the fish and ultimately the food we consume. According to the EPA,  "Plastic particles are generally the most abundant type of debris encountered in the marine environment, with estimates suggesting that 60% to 80% of marine debris is plastic, and more than 90% of all floating debris particles are plastic." Dr. Marcus Eriksen is on the show today to discuss the DVD "Our Synthetic Seas," which covers the total issue about plastic and the garbage found in our seas and especially the problem of disappearing sea life as fish are now eating plastic, waste, debris, and more dangerous materials. Marcus is currently the Executive Director of the 5 Gyres Institute. He received his Ph.D. in Science Education from the University of Southern California in 2003, months before embarking on a 2000-mile, 5-month journey down the Mississippi River on a homemade raft of plastic bottles. His experience on the river led to a career studying the ecological impacts of plastic marine pollution, which has included 8 expeditions sailing 25,000 miles through all 5 subtropical gyres to discover new garbage patches of plastic pollution in the Southern Hemisphere and beyond. With an affinity for rafting, his most recent adventure sent him and a colleague across the Pacific Ocean from California to Hawaii on a homemade raft floating on 15,000 plastic bottles and a Cessna airplane fuselage as a cabin. The journey, 2,600 miles in 88 days, brought tremendous attention to the plastic pollution issue.   Info: Algalita.org and MarcusEriksen.com.

Grief and anxiety can feel hopeless and traumatic. How can you not get stuck in the feelings? We all go through trying times, so how can we handle it all? It's about experiencing the feelings while also trying to find beauty and inspiration in our lives. Psychotherapist and author John Tsilimparis talks deeply about these topics today and suggests we find aesthetic ways to empower ourselves. John is a distinguished psychotherapist, mental health consultant, podcast host, and former adjunct professor at Pepperdine University and UCLA Extension. Today he discusses his latest book "The Magic in the Tragic: Rewriting the Script on Grief and Finding Happiness in Our Darkest Days." John shares the idea of "inspiration exposure." He invites us to be self-compassionate. He suggests we hold strong to our boundaries and give ourselves time to heal. The idea is not to move on, but to move through the emotions. John talks about "grief empowerment" and explains how to find meaning and even beauty in grief. He teaches us to find awe and splendor, even in our darkest moments. This can apply to anxiety and even addiction. It's possible to find meaning and purpose in even the smallest things. Info: johntsilimparis.com.