Nick Gray: How To Increase You IRL-Surface Area

In this episode of the Become More Compelling podcast, I brought back Nick Gray, author of The 2-Hour Cocktail Party.  You'll hear us cover a lot, including why in-person connection still matters, and what it actually takes to build strong friendships as an adult. We talk about the role of humor in conversations. We get into why having a personal website isn't optional if you want to control your online and AI-based reputation.  We talk about how Nick met his wife, how saying yes changed his life, and how the friendship recession is affecting almost everyone (even if they don't realize it). We also get into AI tools and book related stuff.  Enjoy! NEXT STEP: 💬 I'm the Secret Weapon Top Performers at Google, Netflix, and the US Army Trust for People Skills Coaching. Imagine What I Can Do for You. - https://www.becomemorecompelling.com/coaching 🎯 Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results  - https://www.becomemorecompelling.com/quiz 🎧️ Grab my free audio guide on group conversations (Includes word-for-word scripts): https://www.becomemorecompelling.com/group  🚀 Social Accelerator - Social Accelerator combines self-paced learning with group coaching to help you become more socially competent. (and confident!) - https://www.becomemorecompelling.com/accelerator   

If you've ever frozen mid-conversation, overthought what to say, or replayed a moment 500 times in your head… this episode for you. You'll learn a 4-step framework—borrowed from a literal fighter pilot—that'll help you stop second-guessing and start speaking up. You don't need a new personality. You don't need to be the loudest person in the room. You need a system that keeps you present and moving forward. This is that system. Let's go. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. SOCIAL ACCELERATOR: SELF PACED + GROUP COACHING Get the right lessons, the right coaching, and the right accountability to become more socially confident.  

Are you putting in effort to get better socially... but still feel stuck? If you're an overthinker, this might sound familiar: 👉 You're applying effort—but not seeing the results you want. 👉 You feel like you're doing the right things—but progress is slow. 👉 You're trying—but something's not clicking. That's not a sign you should give up. It's a sign that your effort might be getting stalled in one of five traps that slow down your progress: ✅ You're not practicing often enough ✅ You're practicing in places that don't challenge you ✅ You're focusing on the wrong skills ✅ You're using the right skills in the wrong situations ✅ You're doing the right things—but your beliefs are secretly holding you back In this podcast episode, I walk through each of these five effort mistakes—and give you simple, specific ways to fix them. 🎯 So if you've been frustrated with slow progress… 🎯 Or if you want to finally start seeing results you feel in real conversations… Go listen now. This one's for you. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING  Become more socially confident with private coaching. SOCIAL ACCELERATOR: SELF PACED + GROUP COACHING Get the right lessons, the right coaching, and the right accountability to become more socially confident.  

Quick question for you: How can you jump into a conversation without feeling awkward? Ever find yourself hesitating to join a group, fearing you'll disrupt their flow?  You're not alone! It's normal to fear that awkward silence that hits when you walk over. But don't worry, I've got some tips to help you start more conversations in your day-to-day life. In this episode of the BMC podcast I cover… ✅ A mindset shift that will help you take action instead of hesitating. ✅ Why you should stop trying to think of the perfect thing to say and what to do instead. ✅ How to stay socially warm throughout your day so that you are always ready to start a conversation. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. SOCIAL ACCELERATOR: SELF PACED + GROUP COACHING Get the right lessons, the right coaching, and the right accountability to become more socially confident.  

Belief you need to unlearn: Everyone is constantly judging you. Unlearning this can make you more socially successful, a better communicator and help you stop overthinking social situations. Why is this important? Believing everyone is judging you can paralyze you in social situations, making you hesitant to speak up in meetings, approach new people, or share your ideas. Letting go of this belief can unlock new opportunities—leading to better relationships, increased confidence, and less overthinking. In this episode of the BMC podcast, I'll help you unlearn this belief. You'll learn... ✅ People are too focused on themselves to notice you. ✅ Why ocial mishaps are quickly forgotten by others. ✅ Consistent practice builds confidence and helps you push through fear. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. SOCIAL ACCELERATOR: SELF PACED + GROUP COACHING Get the right lessons, the right coaching, and the right accountability to become more socially confident.  

Do you have to step out of your comfort zone to be interesting? Yes, but shattering your comfort zone isn't the answer, do this instead. Let's dig in. Good things happen outside your comfort zone. If we all stayed within our comfort zones, we'd be on the couch watching Reels all day. While that's safe and low-risk, it means missing out on opportunities for growth. Stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to meeting new people, starting relationships, finding new job opportunities, and discovering new hobbies. All these experiences help you grow and become more interesting. I cover more on the latest BMC podcast episode… Growth happens outside your comfort zone. Most good things, like new relationships and opportunities, require a little risk. Overcome the fear of social rejection by adopting the mindset of "I'll go once just to see if I like it." Avoid the all-or-nothing mindset. Start small by trying one or two new eve per month. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. SOCIAL ACCELERATOR: SELF PACED + GROUP COACHING Get the right lessons, the right coaching, and the right accountability to become more socially confident.  

Do you ever feel nervous meeting new people? Here's a game-changing concept: You don't have to like everyone, and not everyone has to like you.  This realization can make your interactions smoother and less nerve-wracking. ✅ Embrace that not every interaction will be magical. ✅ Increase your "surface area of luck" by meeting more people. ✅ Focus on your 50% of the interaction—be open and enthusiastic. I's about quantity leading to quality. I cover more on this episode. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. MY ONLINE VIDEO COURSE: Breakthrough Charisma - Become more charismatic in everyday situations.  

A belief that you need to unlearn is "You need to be perfect to succeed" "Perfect" can take many forms socially... "I need to say something really profound in this meeting."  "I could say that thing, but it's not interesting enough."  "I could ask this question, but it might sound silly." "Perfect" is that imaginary bar that you need to jump over to give yourself permission to speak up.  It's a trap! This belief can hold you back because it makes it harder to take action and practice.  Why is this important? The more you practice, the better you get. If you can unlearn this belief, you'll take more action and unlock opportunities in your professional and personal life. I cover how you can unlearn this belief on the newest episode of the BMC podcast! NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. MY ONLINE VIDEO COURSE: Breakthrough Charisma - Become more charismatic in everyday situations.  

Do you want to make more friends, build your network, and throw parties that make people say "I can't WAIT for the next one!"?  My guest Nick Gray is here to show you how!  He's sharing secrets straight from his book The 2-Hour Cocktail Party. In this episode, you'll learn: How throwing a cocktail party will expand your network. How to get 90% attendance at your party. When/how to send out reminders. Why guest name tags are crucial. What days of the week to throw a party. (It's not what you think) Why you don't need chairs at your party. How to gracefully end a party. About Nick: Nick Gray is an investor, entrepreneur, and author. He's also a 40-year old American man living in Austin, Texas. ​Nick started and sold two successful companies: Flight Display Systemsand Museum Hack. Over 75,000 people have watched his TEDx talk about why he hates most museums. He's the author of The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, a step-by-step handbook that teaches you how to build big relationships by hosting small gatherings. Nick's links: The 2-Hour Cocktail Party. Nick's Friends Newsletter. How to Host a Happy Hour. How to Plan a Networking Event. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. MY ONLINE VIDEO COURSE: Breakthrough Charisma - Become more charismatic in everyday situations.

Note: Video version of this episode is on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/331eiJKvKIc  Look, we've ALL been in social situations where we feel a little nervous. Maybe we want to make a good first impression, be more charismatic and charming, or just have a good interaction. In this episode, we'll look at 5 ways to be charming even when you're nervous. And we'll look at none other than the Batman himself, Robert Pattinson. We'll breakdown specific things he does that you can use next time you want to be less nervous and more charming. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results. AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes word-for-word scripts)  PRIVATE COACHING Become more socially confident in 12 weeks with private coaching. MY ONLINE VIDEO COURSE: Breakthrough Charisma - Become more charismatic in everyday situations.