Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible, And What to Actually Do | Ep. 55

At some point, you looked up from the grind and realized, “Where did everybody go?” Making friends as an adult isn't just hard, it feels almost impossible. And the worst part? Nobody told you it would be like this.In this episode, we get into the real reason why building community feels so heavy in your 20s and 30s, and why modern life is literally designed to isolate you. We unpack the idea of "outsourcing community,” why the lack of “third spaces” in American cities is killing your social life, and why so many people keep waiting for the perfect moment to start building their tribe. That’s a moment that never actually comes.We also talk about the only three things you actually need to do to build community from scratch.Don't skip this one.📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/besomebodypod/🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@besomebodypodcast📝 Substack: https://substack.com/@bsomebodyBe Somebody is a global community of people like you who are chasing their dreams and supporting each other along the way. We celebrate self-discovery, self-growth, and self-realization while exploring how to live a purposeful life you're proud of. Be Somebody. Two words to change your life.🎵 Music by Aisle Seat: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQThis podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

What if the thing you've been trying to control is the thing holding you back?Ani Castillo is a Mexican-born, Toronto-based author, illustrator, and cartoonist whose picture books (Ping, Spark, and People Are My Favorite Places) are now found in homes around the world. But before any of that, she was a shy kid from Guadalajara who could barely talk to strangers, trapped inside herself by fear, language barriers, and a world that didn't always see her light.In this conversation, Ani takes us through one of the most powerful ideas we've ever explored on Be Somebody: you can only control what you put out into the world. That's it. That single philosophy is what unites Ani's art, her books, her journey through social anxiety, her take on why modern dating feels impossible, and why social media isn't just stealing your attention, it's stealing your mood.We also get into the "pie chart" of responsibility, what it means to write a book that becomes a mini religion, commitment phobia, codependency, and what she'd tell her younger self about finding the right eyeballs.This is one of the best conversations we've ever had. Don't miss it.📖 Find Ping: https://www.amazon.com/Ping-Ani-Castillo/dp/0316424641🎨 Follow Ani: @anicastillo on InstagramCHAPTERS:0:00 The Kid Who Drew 30 Paintings a Day2:05 She's Writing a Book About Dating. Here's Why.4:20 How a Blog Changed Her Entire Life07:58 The Myth of Her Childhood12:06 The Stranger Who Became Her Mentor14:26 The Homework That Changed Everything17:28 You Can Only Ping29:45 Why Dating Feels Impossible Right Now32:31 The Real Reason Nobody Wants to Commit37:26 They're Not Stealing Your Time. They're Stealing Your Mood.48:21 Why Your Environment Is Secretly Running Your Life52:21 Ping Was Never a Children's Book55:08 What She's Fighting For1:03:22 You Were Never the Problem1:06:30 The Most Precious Thing You Have1:09:26 The Girl at the Gallery1:11:30 I'm Trying to Protect You. You're Trying to Control Me.1:15:29 Rodrigo the Shiner and Kirky1:17:46 Let Me Put You On1:26:34 Find the Right Eyeballs1:30:42 How to Support Ani Castillo--Be Somebody is a global community of people like you who are chasing their dreams and supporting each other along the way. We celebrate self-discovery, self-growth, and self-realization while exploring how to live a purposeful life you're proud of. Be Somebody. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

This week's real-life stories: A theater teacher deciding whether or not to leave her dream job and follow her boyfriend to Spain or Greece. A med school couple built a relationship with an expiration date, and now she wants to change the terms. A guy too intimidated to set foot in a gym. A student told by his own friends not to run for president. And why is everyone suddenly nostalgic for 2016?We get into all of it, plus updates from previous community stories. This is Be Somebody.--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

When are you giving too much, and getting too little back? Amadeo and Enrique break down the hard question nobody wants to ask: When do you let go?From one-sided friendships to accountability partners who ghost you, we introduce the Be Somebody Checklist for navigating it all.Plus: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, Substack news, and a plantain chip taste test. Enjoy!--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQj...)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

JC grew up in a small town in New Mexico. No roadmap. No master plan. Just curiosity.In this episode, we sit down with someone we find incredibly inspiring, JC, a multi-hyphenate creative who went from media arts to STEM, taught himself engineering skills, worked in 3D printing labs, and is now moving to Silicon Valley to work at a major tech company.We talk about:• Being “shy” but still building powerful networks• Why everyone is creative (even engineers)• Teaching yourself high-income skills• Failing forward in tech• 3D printing jet parts, prosthetics, and even houses• Imposter syndrome and surviving sink-or-swim moments• The habit that changed his life: Bullet JournalingIf you’ve ever felt behind, unqualified, or unsure what you’re “supposed” to do with your life, this one’s for you.--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

It's that time of year 💘 Love is in the air, and so is insecurity, blurred boundaries, and complicated feelings.In this Community Episode, we break down real-life stories and relationship dilemmas: feeling insecure about a partner's past, exes coming back in your life after 10 years, controlling parents, changing friendships, and catching feelings for your co-workers.We talk self-worth, communication, maturity, and how to navigate relationships without losing yourself. Enjoy.--Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5rHqkV8M5MIQeWs3j2aXc2?si=fa2acec8ad184a47Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-somebody/id1477727209--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

It's a big moment we're all living in. As AI spreads everywhere, work feels unstable, mental health is collapsing, and more people are disconnected than ever—despite technology promising the opposite.Amadeo & Enrique discuss anxiety, identity, and why staying human is your most valuable skill. With all that's going on, there are no easy answers, but community just might be the key to it all...--Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5rHqkV8M5MIQeWs3j2aXc2?si=fa2acec8ad184a47Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-somebody/id1477727209--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

In this Guest Episode, Joseline Mendoza sits down with us to talk ambition and sacrifice, starting over, finding your voice, and choosing yourself, even when the road ahead is uncertain. Joseline graciously shares her experience with grief, pressure, and breaking free from unhealthy spaces to pursue a creative life on her own terms.--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

Feeling behind in your 20s, stuck in bed, or shattered after a breakup? In Be Somebody's first-ever Community Episode, Amadeo and Enrique go "beyond the couch" to talk real stories about loneliness, feeling purposeless, inconsiderate friends, and the kind of heartbreak that makes you cry to Frank Ocean. We break down how to rebuild your life when you feel like you’ve wasted years, how to confront a friend who's always taking and never giving, and how to survive an “amicable” breakup that still leaves you devastated. If you’ve ever felt stuck, invisible, or heartbroken, this is an honest conversation about habits, support systems, community, and choosing growth.--Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5rHqkV8M5MIQeWs3j2aXc2?si=fa2acec8ad184a47Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-somebody/id1477727209--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

Be Somebody is relaunching with an expanded purpose and global mission. After more than a year away, some big changes, and honest reflection, this is the new Be Somebody.In this episode, we talk about:• Why we stopped and why we came back• Rebuilding better after creative burnout and inconsistency• The true meaning of "Be Somebody"• Ambition, persistence, rejection, and staying in the game• Friendship, community, and showing upThis new chapter isn't just about podcasting. We're going beyond that. If you’ve ever started something, stopped, questioned everything, and felt inspired to try again... this episode is for you.--Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5rHqkV8M5MIQeWs3j2aXc2?si=fa2acec8ad184a47Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-somebody/id1477727209--Be Somebody is a global community of people chasing their full potential and supporting each other through it all. We explore how to live with purpose and courage while building a life you're proud of. Two words to change your life.--Music by Aisle Seat (https://open.spotify.com/artist/0LXQjYZv0XAT5934qgLGOH?si=CZ26on5QT6m4DWbbsevmvQ)--This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are your friends, not licensed therapists. This podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.