My Rock Bottom

Marnie Breecker, from Helping Couples Heal, interviews Ned.

Fortune 500 consultant and celebrity Enneagram coach Courtney Smith joins Ned for an illuminating exploration of the ancient personality system that reveals why we get stuck, how we create our own crises, and what it takes to break free. Unlike typical rock bottom episodes focusing on one person's story, this conversation offers a practical framework for understanding your own patterns—whether you're the perfectionist leaking rage, the helper who can't stop giving until they collapse, or the achiever chasing external validation while feeling hollow inside. Courtney breaks down all nine Enneagram types and their unique pathways to crisis. Type One (The Reformer) obsesses over moral perfection until hypocrisy or bitter loneliness forces a reckoning. Type Two (The Helper) gives endlessly while denying their own needs, leading to depletion or empty nest identity crises. Type Three (The Achiever) conflates worth with performance, facing rock bottom when reputation crumbles or retirement strips away their identity (think Michael Jordan's crisis after his father's death, or Tom Brady's difficult broadcasting debut). Type Four (The Individualist) actually seeks suffering, believing depth comes from darkness, until they realize pain without purpose is just misery. Type Five (The Investigator) retreats into intellectual isolation, discovering too late that detachment erodes the mastery they sought. Type Six (The Loyal Skeptic) outsources authority to institutions or relationships, suppressing their own needs until explosive consequences force them to reclaim self loyalty. Type Seven (The Enthusiast) chases novelty and pleasure to outrun pain, hitting bottom when they can't escape grief or realize they're trapped in the "fun guy" persona. Type Eight (The Challenger) mistakes intensity for aliveness, using anger as cheap fuel until health crises or consequences force them to confront vulnerability. Type Nine (The Peacemaker) self erases to maintain harmony, leading to passive aggressive explosions or the ghost like realization that they've disappeared entirely (Michael Phelps' journey exemplifies this pattern). The episode takes an unexpected turn when Courtney analyzes Ned himself, identifying him as a Type Six with a Seven wing based on his public journey. She points to the language of betrayed trust in his original rock bottom episode, the pressure cooker dynamic of trying to hold everything together while acting out, and his courageous authenticity in the aftermath. The conversation becomes deeply personal as they explore how loyalty to external structures (marriage, work, public image) can lead to betraying yourself first, setting up the larger crisis later. Courtney emphasizes that personality starts as an adaptive survival strategy—traits and perspectives we develop to get our needs met—but becomes a trap when we mistake these patterns for our true identity. Rock bottom happens when the costs finally outweigh the benefits, when we can no longer deny our role in creating the crisis, and when we're forced to take responsibility instead of justifying, defending, or rationalizing. The path out varies by type, but often requires doing the opposite of your ingrained pattern: perfectionists must accept their flaws, helpers must become selfish, achievers must embrace authenticity over image, individualists must take action instead of wallowing, investigators must tend to their bodies, loyalists must trust themselves, enthusiasts must sit with discomfort, challengers must accept vulnerability, and peacemakers must risk conflict. This episode offers essential insight for anyone feeling stuck despite knowing what they "should" do, anyone whose greatest strength has become their biggest liability, or anyone ready to understand the hidden beliefs and motivations driving their behavior. Courtney's book Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness and her Substack "What We're Really Up To" offer additional tools for this transformative work.

Author and behavioral designer Nir Eyal joins Ned to explore the hidden beliefs that keep us stuck—whether it's the diet that never works, the dream trip that never happens, or the chronic pain that won't go away. Nir's journey began with a devastating personal rock bottom: 30 years of yo-yo dieting, clinical obesity from childhood, and the shame of being the kid who never took his shirt off at the pool. After cycling through every diet imaginable—low fat, vegetarian, keto, intermittent fasting—he discovered the real problem wasn't finding the right diet. It was his limiting belief that there even was one "right" way. This realization unlocked a deeper truth: perseverance and adaptability matter more than intelligence or luck. But there was another rock bottom moment that changed everything. While spending quality time with his daughter, Nir checked his phone and missed her answer to a simple question. When he looked up, she was gone—he'd sent a clear message that his device mattered more than she did. This pattern of distraction extended to every area of his life, and he realized he needed to become "indistractable." His new book Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results introduces a revolutionary framework: beliefs are tools, not truths. Through a powerful four-question process adapted from Byron Katie's work, Nir demonstrates how to identify limiting beliefs, examine them from multiple angles, and develop a "portfolio of perspectives" that unlocks motivation instead of destroying it. This episode covers essential concepts everyone needs to understand: why motivation isn't a straight line but a triangle (behavior, benefit, and belief), how all human behavior is actually pain management, why distraction comes from internal triggers 90% of the time (not your phone), the difference between traction and distraction, and how chronic pain often has nothing to do with physical damage but everything to do with fear-pain-fear loops. Nir also breaks down the real psychology of addiction (it's never just about the substance—it's the person, the product, and the pain), why to-do lists sabotage productivity, how making a $10,000 bet helped him finish his manuscript, and the liberating mantra that puts everything in perspective: "It's all prom." If you've ever felt stuck despite knowing exactly what you should do, this conversation offers practical, science-backed tools to finally break through.

Financial educator and bestselling author Vivian Tu (Your Rich BFF) sits down with Ned to share the devastating rock bottom moment that changed everything: discovering her New York City apartment was infested with thousands of German cockroaches. Breaking her lease cost $8,000—wiping out every dollar she'd saved from her grueling 70-80 hour weeks as an equity trader on Wall Street. After a year and a half of work, she had less money than when she'd arrived in the city. This financial catastrophe came on the heels of workplace harassment from a new manager who made racist comments and belittled her daily, ultimately pushing her to leave Wall Street entirely for a career pivot to BuzzFeed. What seemed like total failure became the launching pad for building one of the most influential personal finance platforms in the world, with millions of followers learning accessible money management from someone who truly understands struggle. Vivian breaks down why financial literacy education has failed so many people—it's not the message that's wrong, it's the messenger. For decades, money advice has come from "tall, handsome white men in Patagonia vests" or judgmental figures who treat debt as moral failure. She offers a radically different approach: practical, shame-free guidance that recognizes money as a tool, not a measure of your worth as a human being. This episode covers essential money topics everyone needs to hear: why prenups are actually romantic (the government writes one for you whether you like it or not), the "Is It Worth It?" equation that helps you understand purchases in terms of hours worked instead of dollars, why budgeting actually increases joy rather than restricting it, and the uncomfortable financial conversations couples must have at every stage—from the first date through marriage, kids, aging parents, and estate planning. Vivian also tackles the myth that small luxuries like lattes are keeping people poor (spoiler: $1,800 a year won't buy you a house), explains why 50% of Americans have credit card debt and shouldn't feel ashamed, and shares why asking for help from actual humans—not corporations and apps—is the missing ingredient in both financial health and mental wellbeing. Her new book Well Endowed hits shelves February 3rd and offers a comprehensive guide to building a life where your finances support your actual goals and values—not someone else's definition of success.

Kristen Collier discovered $200,000 of fraudulent student loans taken out in her name by her own mother—money that had been funneled into a gambling addiction. This devastating family betrayal launched Kristen into a years-long battle with predatory lenders, crushing debt, and the impossible choice between pressing criminal charges against her mother or carrying the burden herself. In this gripping episode, Kristen shares her harrowing journey through her 20s managing unpayable debt, navigating the labyrinthine student loan system, and ultimately finding an unexpected legal pathway to freedom through bankruptcy court. Her new book What Debt Demands: Family Betrayal and Precarity in a Broken System exposes the predatory nature of private student lenders and makes a powerful case for systemic change. Beyond her personal story, Kristen breaks down the mechanics of student debt in America—why these loans can't be discharged through normal bankruptcy, how the system protects creditors over students, and the devastating physical and emotional toll that unpayable debt takes on millions of borrowers. She offers practical advice for anyone struggling with student loans, explains the difference between federal and private loans, and outlines what needs to change: free public college and comprehensive debt cancellation. This is also a nuanced exploration of forgiveness—what it means to maintain a relationship with someone who has profoundly betrayed you, how to hold space for both anger and empathy, and whether true forgiveness requires forgetting or simply learning to live alongside the pain. If you or someone you know is dealing with student debt, this episode is essential listening.

Why do people cheat? Ned Fulmer interviews Lauren Larusso, LPC, LMHC about affairs. How is the experience of a betrayed spouse vs. a cheating spouse vs. an affair partner different? How can the lessons of psychology and physiology help us transcend our most devastating moments into a future of honesty and clarity? Season 2 of Rock Bottom starts today, thank you for being a part of this community.

Jonathan Walton shows you the 12 Red Flags to watch for so you can spot Con Artists before they scam you.

Gen X Icon, model, actress, and author IONE SKYE discusses the secret stories from her memoir “Say Everything” including her tumultuous relationship with Anthony Kiedis, her marriage (and divorce) from Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys, and healing her inner child, finding herself and becoming the best version of herself today at age 55.

Ask me anything!

Author and investigative journalist Elizabeth Greenwood discusses her fascinating work about faking your own death, falling in love in prison, and trusting your gut. She not only writes about these subjects but throws herself into the action and in this case actually generated her own death certificate. It’s an interesting discussion about the lengths people might go to avoid facing the consequences of rock bottom, as well as a conversation about the power of intuition and what you can do to strengthen your own gut reactions. Let us know in the comments who you’d like to see next! Enjoying Rock Bottom so far? Leave us a review or rating and follow for more stories each week. ABOUT: Rock Bottom is a show that explores the lowest, most embarrassing, and challenging moments in people's lives in order to find unexpected resilience, transformation, and growth within. FOLLOW US: IG: http://instagram.com/rockbottomwithnedfulmer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rockbottomwithnedfulmer X: http://x.com/rockbottomned Snapchat: https://snapchat.com/t/hy2dgeYg