I Was Sleeping 2 Hours a Night - What YouTube Fame Really Costs

Ballet, burnout, and the hidden mental health battles of a top performer. In this powerful conversation, Sara Mearns — principal ballerina at New York City Ballet — opens up about her journey through a breakdown, therapy, and rediscovering joy in dance. Hear her unfiltered story about pressure, resilience, and the healing power of vulnerability. Ask Kati Anything ep. 279 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction: Meet Sara Mearns 01:05 – Why ballet feels new every day 03:40 – The pressure of never feeling “good enough” 04:42 – Mental Health Coalition & Covid struggles 07:12 – The breaking point: burnout and depression 12:14 – Rediscovering balance through therapy 17:14 – The role of storytelling and books like The Midnight Library https://amzn.to/3HRAhsM 22:12 – The intimacy of dance partnerships 30:47 – When the audience goes silent: the ultimate performance high 35:17 – Deciding to become a professional ballerina at 12 39:01 – Why therapy should be part of training for all athletes 45:20 – The small shifts therapy creates over time 50:07 – How going public with her burnout helped others 53:58 – The future of ballet and mental health advocacy Follow along with Sara https://www.instagram.com/saramearns https://www.nycballet.com/ My new book is available for pre-order! Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. SPONSORS: To support this podcast, check out our sponsors & get discounts: oneskin.co - use the code KATI for 15% OFF betterhelp.com/katipod - (enjoy 10% off your first month) MY BOOKS Traumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0j   Are u ok?    https://geni.us/sva4iUY  PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman |  [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Catastrophizing can make every small problem feel like the end of the world. In this episode, I share practical tools to stop worst-case-scenario thinking and finally calm your anxious brain. But that’s not all — this episode of Ask Kati Anything also dives into: • How to handle disrespect and set boundaries without losing your cool • Why opening up about mental health online can feel so exposing • Managing anxiety around aging — for yourself and loved ones • Understanding the cycle of eating disorders and why behaviors return • How to advocate for yourself in medical settings • And more listener questions about therapy, anxiety, and healing Chapters / Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro & what’s ahead 01:00 – “How do I handle disrespect without losing my cool?” 07:16 – “Posting about my mental health online made me feel exposed…” 13:07 – “I just turned 39 and I’m scared of aging.” 20:06 – “My mom is almost 60 and I’m anxious about losing her.” 24:05 – “Why isn’t my body responding to eating disorder behaviors the same way?” 29:29 – “Why are my urges to restrict, purge, and cut coming back?” 32:14 – “How do I advocate for myself when my medication isn’t the right fit?” 35:26 – “My partner and I just discovered we see the same therapist…” 39:23 – “Why would a therapist ask to see my scars?” 43:32 – “Why do therapists ask what we use to self-injure?” 44:24 – “Why does my brain catastrophize and always jump to the worst-case scenario?” My NEW BOOK is available for pre-order! Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, our sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s the real difference between a psychiatrist and a therapist — and how do you know which one you need? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Eric Bender, a psychiatrist, therapist, and media consultant who has worked everywhere from private practice to video game studios. Together we dive into the messy realities of mental health treatment: the truth about psychiatric medication, therapy vs. “med management,” why stigma keeps so many people stuck, and how to know when it’s time to seek help. Dr. Bender shares his journey from teaching and social work into psychiatry, what it’s really like to balance prescribing with therapy, and how he helps patients navigate shame, fear, and medication side effects. We also explore borderline personality disorder, antidepressant withdrawal, genetic testing, and the art of tailoring treatment to the individual. Plus — his fascinating work consulting on Batman and other characters for media projects. This conversation is honest, practical, and full of insights to help you better understand yourself and your mental health journey. Timestamps (Ask Kati Anything ep. 277) 00:00 – Introduction: Meet Dr. Eric Bender 00:17 – Psychiatry vs. Psychology: What’s the Difference? 02:09 – Dr. Bender’s Unconventional Path to Becoming a Psychiatrist 07:10 – Working with Children & Parents in Therapy 09:01 – Why He Still Does Therapy (Not Just Medication) 13:16 – Conversations Around Medication & Stigma 17:18 – Antidepressant Withdrawal & Side Effects Explained 23:36 – Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 29:48 – Therapy, Medication & Insurance Challenges 35:13 – Should You See a Psychiatrist or a Therapist? 43:47 – Offering Hope & Knowing When to Seek Help 47:31 – Psychiatry Meets Pop Culture: Consulting on Batman & Media 52:14 – How Media Shapes Mental Health Stigma 53:04 – Closing Thoughts My New Book (Pre-Order) Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. Other Books Traumatized → https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? → https://geni.us/sva4iUY Connect with Dr. Eric Bender YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.ericbender Website: http://www.doctorericbender.com/ Kati’s Main YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/katimorton Sponsors (Support the Show!) Mint Mobile — Get 3 months of unlimited premium wireless for just $15/month → https://www.mintmobile.com/kati OneSkin — Target aging on 3 fronts with the OS-01 peptide, antioxidants, and non-nano zinc oxide. Get 15% off with code KATI → https://www.oneskin.co/ Online Therapy (10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist → https://betterhelp.com/kati Partnerships Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you actually feel your emotions without being consumed by them? In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton shares practical strategies for processing feelings in a healthy way — and how to compartmentalize without suppressing what you’re going through. Kati also answers listener questions about knowing if your anxiety medication is really working, the difference between dissociation and zoning out, how to cope with burnout-related memory problems, and what to do when starting therapy feels overwhelming because everything is connected. With neuroscience-backed insights and compassionate guidance, this episode will help you manage your emotions, protect your mental health, and create space to feel without losing control. My new book Why Do I Keep Doing This? is now available for pre-order: https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. ⏱️ Chapters 00:00 – Intro 00:44 – How to Feel Emotions Without Being Overwhelmed (Healthy Compartmentalization) 08:05 – How to Know If Anxiety Medication Is Working (Signs & Next Steps) 13:07 – Mild Dissociation vs. Zoning Out: How to Recognize and Stop It 19:06 – Dissociation vs. Derealization Explained (Key Differences) 23:38 – Starting Therapy but Invalidation Your Struggles (Why It Happens) 28:34 – Burnout, Stress, ASD & Memory Issues: What’s Normal vs. Concerning 35:40 – Where to Start in Therapy When Everything Feels Interconnected ⚠️ Trigger Warning (suicidality, trauma, grief) 41:01 – Outro & Homework Ask Kati Anything ep. 276 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT BOOKS by Kati Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY 💧 Today’s episode is sponsored by Liquid I.V. Stay hydrated and energized all day with my favorite electrolyte drink mix 👉 liquidiv.com — use PROMO CODE: KATI at checkout for 20% off your order! ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this revealing conversation, Grace Helbig opens up about her early days of YouTube stardom, to the burnout that followed, and facing breast cancer head-on. She shares behind-the-scenes stories of navigating the chaos of internet fame, the toll it took on her mental health, and how stepping away gave her the clarity to return on her own terms. Grace dives deep into the emotional and psychological impact of living life online, the loss of community in the creator space, and how her diagnosis reshaped her priorities. Now, with a renewed sense of purpose, she’s transforming pain into art through her new live comedy show, bringing humor and honesty to life’s hardest moments. Whether you’re a longtime fan or discovering Grace for the first time, this episode is an inspiring, unfiltered reminder that it’s never too late to reinvent yourself. My new book is available for pre-order! Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. More Grace: https://www.youtube.com/@itsgrace/videos This Might Get Weird (podcast) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6qM1-K69UGys_BnilnWZ7w More Kati: https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Ask Kati Anything ep. 275 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT I’ve teamed up with Babbel to give you 55% off your subscription—but only for listeners—at Babbel.com/KATI ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Struggling with trauma, trust issues, food and body image struggles, or feeling like no one ever showed up for you? In this episode, Kati responds to six powerful community questions about healing after emotional neglect, craving validation, navigating boundary violations, and figuring out how to keep going when life feels overwhelming.Whether you’re starting therapy, dealing with past experiences that left you feeling confused or stuck, or just trying to feel seen, this episode offers real insight and encouragement. 🔖 Timestamps & Topics 00:00 – Intro & Book Pre-order Reminder Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. 01:11 – Q1: "No one’s going to save me — so why do I still crave attention?"Craving care when it was never modeled, coping through behaviors, and the truth about being “attention-seeking.” 07:05 – Q2: "My therapist ignored what happened. Why does school still trigger me?"When trusted places become reminders of past pain and how to bring it up again in therapy. 13:10 – Q3: "My mom read my journal. How can I trust her again?"Privacy breaches, parent dynamics, and learning to rebuild safety after feeling exposed. 22:01 – Q4: "Am I being dramatic for needing therapy now?"Letting go of self-comparison and learning how to validate your current emotional experience. 30:40 – Q5: "How do I build hope when I never expected to live this long?"Finding motivation, building resilience, and coping with thoughts of giving up. 36:04 – Q6: "Can I have trauma even if nothing 'serious' happened?"Understanding freeze responses, dissociation, and why certain experiences still leave emotional scars. Ask Kati Anything podcast episode 274, hosted by licensed therapist Kati Morton. Thanks to this week’s sponsors for helping bring mental health content to life! GREEN CHEF - healthy eating made easy (discount link) http://GREENCHEF.com/50askkati BETTERHELP - online therapy (discount link): http://BETTERHELP.com/katipod MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kandee Johnson was sleeping just 2 hours a night at the height of her YouTube fame - juggling content creation, brand deals, and raising 4 kids as a single mom. In this honest conversation, she shares what that lifestyle really cost her and that health issues eventually forced her to step away.From having 13 cents in her bank account to becoming YouTube's biggest beauty creator, Kandee opens up about the reality behind the success. She talks about the exhaustion, the constant travel, editing videos until 4 AM, and how her body eventually said "enough." My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. What you'll hear in this episode How she went from broke single mom to YouTube success The reality of sleeping 2-4 hours a night for years Why she was working 16-hour days constantly Health issues that made her take a break Her honest thoughts on social media and "doom scrolling" Why she turned down millions in brand deals for integrity What she learned during her time away from YouTube TIMESTAMPS 0:00 - From 13 cents to YouTube success 12:45 - The exhaustion of constant content creation 28:30 - Behind the scenes of a YouTube career 35:20 - Health issues and stepping away 42:15 - Life during her YouTube break 48:50 - Thoughts on social media addiction 55:30 - What she'd do differently Ask Kati Anything ep. 273 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT #podcast #kandeejohnson #katimorton MY BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode I explain why you struggle to trust yourself and share the simple strategy to rebuild self-trust. I'll help you identify healthy vs unhealthy attachment to your therapist, recognize when you're protecting yourself in therapy, and understand the root causes of intimacy fears. I also cover different therapeutic styles, OCD vs OCD-like tendencies, and practical tips for developing secure attachment patterns. In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, I address six of your questions about self-trust, therapy struggles, and mental health challenges. Whether you're feeling stuck in life, questioning your therapeutic relationship, or dealing with intrusive thoughts, I provide actionable insights for your healing journey. Key Topics I Discuss • My promise-keeping method for building self-trust • Signs of healthy vs unhealthy therapist attachment • Why some therapists avoid deep work (and what to do about it) • Understanding protection vs control in therapy • Root causes of intimacy fears and how to overcome them • OCD symptoms vs OCD-like tendencies explained Timestamps 0:00 Introduction 0:30 Q1: How to learn to trust yourself 5:46 Q2: Healthy vs unhealthy therapist attachment 11:09 Q3: Therapist not focusing on root issues 17:02 Q4: Controlling everything in therapy 25:04 Q5: Fears of intimacy and healthy attachments 34:07 Q6: OCD vs OCD-like tendencies 40:01 Closing thoughts Ask Kati Anything ep. 272 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? (pre-order) https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIP https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mental Cost of Fighting Misinformation: Professor Dave opens up in this honest conversation, Dave Farina from the YouTube channel Professor Dave Explains shares the personal toll of dedicating his life to fighting misinformation and educating millions online. As one of YouTube's most prominent science educators, Dave reveals the mental health challenges that come with constant content creation and defending scientific truth in today's polarized world. Dave discusses how his work ethic has evolved from healthy productivity to potential burnout, the emotional strategies he's developed to handle daily harassment, and why he feels compelled to continue despite the personal cost. This conversation offers valuable insights for content creators, educators, and anyone interested in the psychology of online advocacy. ------ My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. ------ Key Topics Discussed: The transition from musician to full-time science educator and debunker How constant work has rewired his brain and affected his ability to disconnect Strategies for emotional detachment when facing online harassment and threats The mental health impact of fighting misinformation as a career Balancing family life with a demanding content creation schedule Why he feels a sense of duty to continue despite burnout The broader societal implications of the "post-truth era" Practical advice for creators dealing with online negativity This episode provides a rare look into the personal sacrifices and psychological resilience required to be an effective science communicator in the digital age. Resources: If you're interested in creator psychology, science education, or the fight against misinformation, this conversation offers valuable perspectives on the human cost of online advocacy. Check out Dave Farina's channel https://www.youtube.com/@ProfessorDaveExplains Ask Kati Anything ep. 271 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? (pre-order) https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you struggling with depression, self-sabotage, or anxiety that no one else can see? In this deeply honest episode of Ask Katie Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton explains what high functioning depression really feels like and why you might feel so empty inside, even when life looks “perfect” on the outside. We’ll explore how childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and attachment wounds shape your mental health today — and how they’re connected to self-sabotage, memory gaps, and anxiety symptoms like itching or shaking. Kati shares practical steps to break free from guilt, reconnect with yourself, and start healing. My new book is available for pre-order: Why Do I Keep Doing This? → https://geni.us/XoyLSQ If you’ve ever felt stuck, this book is for you. I’d be so grateful for your support. Ask Kati Anything ep. 270 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Questions & timestamps 1. Could you talk about high-functioning depression and what it really looks like? For context, I feel like I have a “perfect” life; supportive parents, a stable home, pets, a car, and all the basic things I need to live comfortably. I haven’t experienced any trauma, and from the outside, everything seems fine... 00:00:43 2. I accept my flaws and want to grow, but I zone out or give up easily. I’ve been stagnant in my studies for 3 years. How do I build real, lasting change when it feels so hard to even begin? 00:12:07 3. I’ve recently realized there are a lot of things I do not remember about my childhood. My sibling was sharing stories and kept looking at me asking, “Do you remember that?” and I rarely did. We lived in the same house so how does she remember so much more than me? 00:17:49 4. Could you please explain why people itch when they are anxious? It's something I have recently started doing without even knowing it was related to my mental health. Could you please tell me why we do this? And how we might be able to stop? Thank you love your videos and podcasts! 00:22:29 5. My question is about attachment regarding military life, having a parent unavailable but not by choice. I often hear you mention your dad being gone for work frequently when you were a child and how you believe it has an effect on your upbringing. My dad was in the military for 25 years and was often gone during my childhood—not for super long periods (maybe 4 months max), but he left and returned so often... 00:29:11 6. I’ve been on a healing journey in the last 2 years in trauma therapy. I’ve worked a lot on myself with the big challenge of feeling my own feelings. I’ve learned to sit with my feelings and finally felt safe with my therapist. I’ve set boundaries with family, lost relationships, and even lost a pet during therapy... 00:38:59 7. My old therapist is having a baby and I will no longer be able to see her. She has been so helpful and I have been able to move on from her in the past (when I “graduated” DBT). All of the therapists I have had since seeing her don’t quit live up. It’s possible that she’s my favorite person. How do I move forward with my life? 00:42:31 ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices