216 - Underpaid, Overworked, Resentful Q from Anonymous

I've been trying to answer a question that's fascinated me for years... I've met unbelievable musicians who never pursued music beyond a hobby, and others who built incredible careers despite not necessarily being the "best" player in the room. So if technical ability isn't the whole story... what is? For my psychology dissertation, I'm researching the relationship between personality and interest in music, and I need as many musicians as possible to take part. 🎵 Hobbyist? 🎵 Weekend warrior? 🎵 Teacher? 🎵 Touring pro? You're exactly who I'm looking for. ⏱️ Takes around 10 minutes 🔒 Completely anonymous 📅 The survey closes on 26th June 2026 👉 emilydrums.com/survey And if you know any musicians, please share this with them. The more responses I get, the more meaningful (and interesting!) the findings will be. I'd also love to make an episode sharing the results with you all once it's finished ❤️

Do you only get one chance to network with someone… or is that just something we’ve told ourselves? In this episode, I answer a brilliant question from Anonymous about networking on Instagram, sending DMs, and how to actually build real connections — especially when it feels like you’re “using up your one shot” every time you reach out. We talk about: Why cold DMs often fall flat How relationships are actually built online The shift from “one message” to “ongoing presence” Why being seen matters more than being perfect And how to approach networking in person — especially if you don’t get a second chance to recognise someone This episode is a big mindset shift if you’ve ever: 👉 Overthought a DM 👉 Worried about saying the wrong thing 👉 Felt like conversations always dry up 👉 Or assumed networking is about getting it right first time It’s not about one shot. It’s about familiarity. 🎧 Listen now and rethink how you connect. ❓ Ask a question for a future episode: https://emilydrums.com/ama 💬 Book a free 30-minute Coaching Taster Session: https://emilydrums.com

Most musicians grow up believing in the idea of a “big break.” That one moment where someone important discovers you… The audition that suddenly changes everything… The gig that launches your career overnight. But in my experience, that’s almost never how it actually works. In this episode of A Drummer’s Guide To…, I answer a question from Jon Raynor about how to catch the eye of higher-level artists and move beyond smaller gigs into bigger opportunities. I talk about my own journey going from playing with original artists to working professionally, and why the opportunities that changed my career came from relationships and consistency, not a single breakthrough moment. In this episode I discuss: • Why most professional music careers don’t start with a big break • How gigs actually appear in the professional music world • Why relationships often matter more than talent • The difference between being a great drummer and being hireable • Practical things you can do to make sure the right people notice you If you’ve ever wondered why some musicians seem to move forward while others feel stuck waiting for the right opportunity, this episode is for you. Ask your own question for a future episode: EmilyDrums.com/AMA Book a free 30-minute coaching taster session: EmilyDrums.com

You’re a professional. It’s just four minutes. So why does this song feel like a punch in the chest? In Episode 219 – A Drummer’s Guide To… Heartbreak on the Setlist (Q from Anonymous), I answer a listener’s question about performing a song that’s deeply tied to a painful past relationship. Should you just “be professional” and play it? Or are you allowed to have boundaries in a band? We explore: 🥁 The difference between suppression and emotional regulation 🥁 When pushing through builds resilience — and when it’s just self-punishment 🥁 How music hardwires itself to memory 🥁 Whether raising it with your band is weakness… or maturity 🥁 How to reclaim a song that hurts (if you choose to) This isn’t just about one sad tune. It’s about emotional labour in performance — and what professionalism actually means. If you’ve ever had to show up on stage while something personal was going on… this one’s for you. 💬 Want your question answered on a future episode? Submit it here: EmilyDrums.com/ama 🎯 Want a free 30-minute coaching taster session? Head to: EmilyDrums.com

Starting the year with no gigs? Feeling like everyone else is working except you? In Episode 218 of A Drummer’s Guide To… Starting the Year With No Gigs (Q from Anonymous), I break down what January really means for musicians — and how to use this time strategically instead of spiralling. We talk about: – What to post when you’re between gigs – How to avoid looking like a “bedroom musician” – Why covers aren’t the problem (your positioning is) – Why January isn’t failure — it’s seasonal – Turning quiet months into momentum If you’re feeling the slow start panic, this one’s for you. 🎧 Listen now.

Grateful. Successful. Still restless? You’re not alone. In Episode 217 of A Drummer’s Guide To… Grateful, Successful… Still Wanting More (Q from Dom Ritchie), Emily answers a powerful question from Dom — a young professional drummer making a full-time living in music who still feels the pull of “what’s next”. This episode explores: Why satisfaction doesn’t automatically follow success Whether moving to London actually creates opportunity How to build a recording and remote session career gradually Why restlessness doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or failing 🎧 Listen now to Episode 217 💬 Ask your own question: EmilyDrums.com/ama 🎓 Free 30-minute coaching taster: EmilyDrums.com

Ever turned up to a gig already annoyed… because you know the money isn’t worth the effort? 🚗💸 This anonymous question is painfully relatable: great band, great musical experience… but the gigs are underpaid, the travel is brutal, and resentment is creeping in. In this episode, I talk about: ⛽ when the petrol cost makes the gig fee pointless 🚗 how to handle long drives + low pay without burning out 😬 what to do when you feel a “chip on your shoulder” forming 💬 how to raise money concerns without creating band drama 🎯 how to decide what’s “worth it” long-term This isn’t about being ungrateful — it’s about protecting your standards and your enjoyment of playing. ✅ Watch/listen now: Episode 216 — Underpaid, Overworked, Resentful (Q from Anonymous) Got a question for a future episode? 👉 EmilyDrums.com/ama Want support with confidence, boundaries, rates, career direction, or band politics? 👉 Free 30-min coaching taster session: EmilyDrums.com ✅

🩸 You’re not “too sensitive” - your body is giving you information 😌 🎧 Episode 215 - A Drummer’s Guide To… Women’s Health on Tour (Q from Suzy) 🥁 😅 Some weeks you feel unstoppable behind the kit… and other weeks you feel like you’ve forgotten how to play 🥁 🧠 In this episode, I talk honestly about cycle changes, energy dips, confidence spirals, and how they affect performance 🎭 🚐 We get into touring self-care that actually works: nourishment, hydration, sleep, anxiety management, and pacing yourself 💪 🛠️ Plus the practical stuff most people ignore - like kit setup tweaks that protect your body and prevent injury ✅ 👗 And stage clothing comfort + hygiene tips, because drumming is physical and this matters more than people realise 😅 🙃 We also talk about the mental load of being underestimated as a female musician (yep… those comments) 🎤 👀 Watch Episode 215 to the end for the mindset shift that stops you panicking when you’re not at 100% 🔥 ✨ It’s not about pushing harder - it’s about planning smarter so you stay consistent without burning out 🧠 ❓ Ask a question for a future episode 👉 EmilyDrums.com/ama 💬 🌱 Book a free 30-min coaching taster session 👉 EmilyDrums.com 💛

Recording your in-ear mix sounds like a good idea… until you try it. This episode answers Joe Threlfall’s question about capturing IEM audio, explains why it’s so unreliable, and explores whether it’s even necessary in the first place. A practical, reassuring reframe for musicians feeling stuck over technical details. Have a question you’d like answered on the podcast? Submit it at EmilyDrums.com/ama

In music, talent might get you noticed — but trust is what keeps you working. This episode was sparked by a question from Rob Quinn about the role of trust in a music career, and it opens up one of the most quietly important topics in professional musicianship. Inside, I talk about trust on every level of the job: • Trusting bandmates to show up prepared • Being trusted by artists, MDs, and management • What happens when that trust breaks down • How trust is built during pressure, not perfection • Why reliability often matters more than brilliance • Learning to trust yourself when things go wrong on stage From tempo disputes and difficult leadership dynamics to real-world gig crises where systems fail and people have to step up — this episode explores how careers are shaped by who people feel safe relying on. If you’ve ever wondered why some musicians stay booked while others quietly disappear… this episode explains a big part of it. 🎧 Episode 213 is live now. And if you want to talk through your own career situations, you can book a FREE 30-minute Coaching Taster Session via https://www.emilydrums.com or the link in my bio.