What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood podcast

Ask Amy - Can I Really Love My Second Child As Much As The First?

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It's a common fear for mothers expecting their second child: How can I possibly love this new baby as much as I loved my first? Here's how a listener in our Facebook group put it: I have a two-year-old and I'm pregnant with my second. I'm having extreme feelings of guilt on how this new baby will disrupt my two-year-old's life. And I'm really worried about how I could possibly love them both equally. From what I have heard feeling this way is normal, but I can't help but feel a little sense of dread when I think about adding a second kid to our family. Will it lower my standards of parenting? Will I lose my patience more easily? Will I love one more than the other? Will this second baby ruin my relationship with my son? In this Question of the Week episode, Amy answers these questions: it won't lower your parenting standards, but it will almost certainly change them. And rather than ruining your son's bond with his primary caregiver, it will create an entirely new and separate bond, one that is likely to be among the most long-lasting of his life. There's much to celebrate and look forward to, and even if you can't see it yet, the new baby will bring untold delight to your family's lives. Even your toddler's. Trust us. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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    Ask Amy: What's It Like To Have a Kid Away At College?

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    If you've got a high schooler who's starting the college process– and the part you're most dreading as a parent is drop-off day– you will probably identify with this Question of the Week: Hey ladies! A longtime listener here. How about an episode about Amy’s experience with her oldest off at college? I’m a mom who’s sending her first one away to school next year and my heart is already slowly breaking. Help! Good news: like a milestone birthday, the enormity of a kid leaving for college is way larger on the road ahead of you than it is in your rear-view mirror. It does cause great changes in your relationship with your child when they're not with you at the dinner table every night. The entire system really does transform when one family member is removed. But not all of the changes your family dynamic will undergo are bad. And if your teenager is giving you one-word answers while she's still at home, you may be surprised at how much she has to tell you once she's having these new experiences. In fact, these very show notes were interrupted for a lazy Sunday FaceTime with just such a first-year college student. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    Ask Amy: My Toddler Thinks It's Funny to Hit Me

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    Have a toddler who thinks it's funny to hit Mom or Dad? A listener wrote in to ask: Any suggestions for dealing with hitting? My almost two-year-old hits us (mom, dad, older sister) when frustrated. It seems to start out of frustration and then continue out of curiosity. He seems to get that we do not like it when he hits, but he keeps doing it. We say “no” firmly and attempt to remove him from the situation, or remove ourselves. But getting smacked in the face is getting old fast. Children this little have not yet developed "theory of mind"– the capacity to understand other people's mental states, and that those mental states can differ from one's own. Since smacking Mommy's face arouses curiosity in your child, it can be hard for him to grasp, at his developmental level, that you might feel differently. Rather than giving the hitting too much attention– which includes the negative attention of a loud "No!"– Amy suggests Dr. Harvey Karp's "gossiping" technique, which will enable your toddler to learn why hitting is not okay without being distracted by your anger or his shame. It's a stage, but it's an unpleasant one! We hope that "gossiping" will really help. Here's an article to tell you more about the technique: Dr. Harvey Karp: How to Encourage Good Toddler Behavior With “Gossiping” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    BEST OF: Katherine May on "Wintering"

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