UE #50 - Balancing Acceptance and Growth (what TOXIC POSITIViTY gets WRONG)

In this episode, I am joined by magician Fergus Flanagan. We talk about the relationship between psychology and magic, ethics of using deception in magic, the power of storytelling, and more. About Fergus: Based in London, Fergus is a BAFTA award-winning magician and mindreader who has performed over 2000 shows globally since he started doing magic more than 20 years ago. His experience ranges from private and corporate events to virtual shows and television presenting. Throughout the last 10 years, Fergus has featured on BBC, SKY, ITV and Channel 4. A member of the world-renowned Magic Circle, Fergus was crowned ‘Virtual Magician of the Year’ in 2022 by the society in recognition of his success during the pandemic when he performed virtual shows for companies including Amazon, TikTok, Microsoft and HSBC. His vast experience makes him one of the most in-demand magicians in the world today.

In this super spontaneous episode, I talk about how to deal with uncertainty. If you haven't already, take the emotional intelligence scorecard here: https://sankalp-ua94japp.scoreapp.com

In this episode, I talk about the power of long term thinking Measure your emotional intelligence here. Get your FREE score and personalised recommendations.Website: sankalpgarud.org

Get your free emotional intelligence score: https://sankalp-ua94japp.scoreapp.com In this episode of 'Understanding Emotions', I dive into the supplements that I take daily. We discuss foundational supplements like multivitamins, omega-3s, and vitamin D, as well as sports and sleep supplements such as creatine and magnesium. Additionally, I touch on supplements for skin health and dealing with the common cold. Remember, consult your medical professional before making any changes to your routine. 🧘‍♂️💭 If we haven't met, 👋 I'm Sankalp, a DPhil student in psychology at the University of Oxford. 00:00 Introduction to Understanding Emotions 00:24 Why Discuss Health in an Emotions Podcast? 00:33 The Importance of Physical Health for Mental Well-being 01:37 Foundations of Health: Sleep, Exercise, Nutrition 02:18 Introduction to Supplements 02:58 Foundational Supplements: Multivitamins and More 07:06 Sports Supplements: Creatine 09:18 Energy and Longevity: NMN and More 11:39 Skincare Supplements: Retinoid 13:44 Optimizing Sleep: Magnesium, L-theanine, and more 15:51 Fighting the Common Cold: Zinc and NAC 19:41 Dental Health: N-Hydroxyapatite Toothpaste 23:06 Exploring Longevity: Brian Johnson's Mix 25:03 Recovery and Performance: Glutamine and Rhodiola 27:56 Conclusion: Health and Emotional Resilience

Get your emotional intelligence score: https://sankalp-ua94japp.scoreapp.com What is better: psychology or neuroscience? 🤔 In this episode of Understanding Emotions, I dive deep into both fields to answer this common question. As a PhD student in psychology and neuroscience at the University of Oxford, I explore the distinctions between studying the mind and studying the brain, the core problem of suffering, and how each discipline addresses mental health. We also touch upon related areas like psychiatry, social connection, and the unity of knowledge beyond compartmentalized fields. Whether you're curious about your emotions or a student deciding on your major, this conversation will provide valuable insights. 🌟🧠💡 00:00 Psychology vs. Neuroscience 00:35 Defining Psychology and Neuroscience 00:53 The Hard Problem of Consciousness 01:42 Addressing Suffering: Psychology's Role 06:02 Neuroscience's Contribution to Understanding Suffering 07:15 The Interconnectedness of Mind and Brain 11:00 Beyond Psychology and Neuroscience 12:15 Holistic Approach to Understanding Emotions Website: https://sankalpgarud.org

Free guide on emotional intelligence: https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide In this episode, I sit down with the esteemed Professor Robin Dunbar, emeritus professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Oxford. We dive into Dunbar's Number and the science behind the limits of human relationships. Our discussion spans various topics, including the formation of friendships, the importance of shared humor, gender differences in attraction, and the dynamics of dating. We also explore how cultural and environmental factors influence social networks, the impact of online dating, and the intriguing neuroscience of relationships. Join us for a deep dive into how our relationships shape our health, happiness, and wellbeing. 00:00 Introduction to the Episode 00:07 Meet Professor Robin Dunbar 02:07 The Importance of Friendships 05:14 The Science Behind Friendships 08:06 Understanding Dunbar's Number 10:23 Layers of Relationships 35:54 Gender Differences in Friendships 57:41 Understanding Social Styles and Their Origins 59:50 The Role of Mentalizing and Inhibition in Social Systems 01:01:00 Diplomacy and Gender Differences in Social Skills 01:02:27 Romantic Relationships: Polyamory, Monogamy, and Pair Bonding 01:17:02 Gender Differences in Attraction and Relationship Dynamics 01:37:28 The Impact of Online Dating and Social Media on Relationships 01:51:56 Concluding Thoughts and Key Takeaways

Free newsletter and more: https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide In this episode of the Understanding Emotions, we explore the crucial pillars of health—sleep, exercise, and nutrition—while diving into the ethical and scientific dimensions of biohacking and longevity. Dr Sanchit Turuga is a medical doctor at the UK's National Health Service and a DPhil (PhD) student in medicine at the University of Oxford. 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 01:25 Foundations of Good Health 03:34 Challenges in Maintaining Health 06:10 The Importance of Sleep 18:53 Exercise: The Second Pillar of Health 32:59 The Impact of Diet on Health 33:39 Debating the Benefits of Vegetarianism 35:05 The Need for More Research 35:57 Practical Challenges of Changing Diets 37:10 Concluding Thoughts on Nutrition 38:34 The Role of Supplements in Health 45:06 The Common Cold and Immunity 51:18 The Debate on Health Tracking and Measurement 01:00:33 The Concept of Longevity Clinics 01:08:05 The Parabiosis Experiment and Blood Transfusions 01:10:28 Biohacking and Longevity Optimization 01:12:21 Caloric Restriction and Exercise for Longevity 01:15:31 The Debate on Aging as a Disease 01:18:15 Personalized Medicine and Supplementation 01:29:28 Gut Microbiome: The New Frontier 01:38:11 Personalized Medicine and Alternative Therapies 01:43:13 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Free guide on emotional intelligence: https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide In this episode, I talk with Scott Young on how to master learning. We talk about his new book Get Better at Anything. We talk about important topics in learning such as the role of feedback, the problem of transfer, importance of meta learning, and more. 00:00 Introduction 00:31 Meet Scott Young: The Learning Expert 02:09 About Get Better at Anything (Scott's new book) 06:18 The Emotional Payoff of Learning 08:29 Classifying Skills 15:28 The Role of Identity in Learning 21:59 Directness vs. Building Blocks in Learning 29:20 The Effectiveness of Standardized Testing 32:49 The Transfer of Skills: Chess as a Case Study 41:02 Addressing Criticisms and Beliefs in Meta Learning 42:44 Defining Meta Learning 45:21 Debunking Learning Styles Theory 49:16 The Importance of Meta Learning in Skill Acquisition 50:25 Exploring Personal Learning Projects 59:13 The Role of Feedback 01:11:17 Future Directions in Learning Research 01:20:46 Practical Tips for Your Learning Journey

https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide Ever feel like you're always putting others first, even if it means neglecting yourself? This episode dives deep into the surprising downsides of being "too nice." I explains how people-pleasing tendencies can lead to burnout , stifle your voice , and even damage your relationships. If we haven't met 👋, my name is Sankalp, I am a PhD student in psychology at the University of Oxford. We'll explore the root causes of this behavior (often linked to childhood experiences!), and learn powerful strategies to overcome it. I will show you how to set healthy boundaries, manage that pesky guilt monster, and finally develop the assertiveness you deserve . This episode is your chance to understand why you might be "too nice," and take control of your happiness! Join me and let's build a more balanced and fulfilling life together! #selfcare #boundaries #assertiveness #personalgrowth #psychology 00:00 Introduction 03:16 Niceness is not the same as goodness 08:01 The selfishness spectrum 12:15 Resentment 13:03 Over-responsibility 13:46 Solution to niceness 14:42 Guilt 20:08 Covert contracts 21:50 Role of childhood 24:33 Exercise: find your rules 27:13 How to not blame others 28:41 Passive aggressiveness 31:48 Silent Treatment 32:37 Exercise: bill of rights 34:53 What are rights 36:30 Most social rules are malleable 37:28 Communication hacks 39:08 Putting it all into practice 39:55 Mindfulness meditation 42:11 Mind body pain 44:46 The cost of niceness

Free guide on emotional intelligence: https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide In this video, I talk about loneliness, social connection, friendship and the likes. I explore both the science and the practice of making friends. Who am I? If we haven't met before, I am Sankalp, a PhD student in Experimental Psychology at the University of Oxford. My aim is to significantly increase happiness and well-being in this world. On this channel I talk about all things psychology, both from the inside (think emotions) and from the outside (think brain). 00:00 Trailer 02:35 Podcast begins 04:59 Exploring the Grant Study: The Importance of Social Bonds 08:39 Loneliness vs. Social Network Sizes: A Deep Dive into Studies 13:14 The Neuroscience of Social Connection: Brain Mechanisms and Hormones 15:48 How many friends can I have at once 20:09 Impact of decreasing family sizes on lonelinesss 22:17 Role of endorphins 27:37 Meditation and default mode network 30:33 Empathy and mirror neurons 34:46 Social context and social mistakes 36:32 Social connection as a fundamental human need 40:14 Gut health and social anxiety 43:03 Social Status and Its Impact: Understanding Our Social Hierarchy 45:20 Fear of rejection 46:50 Overcoming Fear and Rejection in Social Interactions 49:35 Tip: Talk to strangers 52:14 Do Looks Matter? 53:39 Key Factors in Forming Friendships: Similarity, Proximity, and Familiarity 56:40 How many hours to go from friend to stranger? 58:05 Tip: Acceptance 58:57 Tip: Choosing right environments, cities, and venues 01:00:46 Tip: Optimising nutrition 01:01:30 Tip: How to overcome fear of rejection 01:06:08 Tip Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity for Deeper Connections 01:07:32 Tip: Friendly greetings 01:08:37 Building self-esteem 01:10:49 The halo effect 01:12:20 Internal Family Systems Model 01:16:11 Conversation skills 01:23:26 My personal experience eliminating social anxiety