Pregnancy after loss

Pregnancy after loss can seem like a time for a big celebration, doesn’t it? Yet for those, like me, who experienced the loss know that it isn’t that simple. 

Last year we experienced a miscarriage with my husband of our twins when we were almost 2 months pregnant. 

It was a conscious conception and we were so excited to receive our baby (we didn’t even know we had expected twins until we lost the second baby a month and half after the first!). 

So when we lost our babies I experienced depression ( I had moments when I was scared of my dark thoughts of not even wanting to live), anger, fear, confusion. I felt it all and wanted to feel nothing at the same time. 

What helped me heal our loss: - Creating a ceremony where we created a box with a gift, letter and our baby’s undeveloped body, to be able to say goodbye and thank the baby for teaching us and coming to us even for this short time. 

- Having a strong (even though small) support system, my husband was there 24/7 with me and my spiritual wife Svetlanka who experienced loss herself was strong support. 

- Speak about it when I was ready. I realized I am not the only one who feels this way and so many women who experienced loss never talked about it. 

- After a time looking at the gifts, lessons, and what this experience gifted me and taught me. It helped me reassess what I invest my energy in and desire to serve more women in a mastermind setting we are launching in March 2023. 

- Working on my mindset and knowing that I haven’t done anything wrong and that the baby soul knows what it is doing. 

Those are just a few things. I also listened to podcasts, read books, meditated, and journaled. Anything to process my feelings and thoughts. 

Now that I am almost 14 weeks pregnant I am celebrating each and every day and this pregnancy feels different. Like I can see myself with a big belly and holding our future baby. I wasn’t able to see that with my first pregnancy. 

I still find myself very emotional, I find myself scared and with fear what if something happens?

Yet I learned to walk in faith and to trust that no matter what I got this and we got this with my support system. 

If you experienced loss, my love, I see you!

If you know anyone who did, please share this episode and be a safe space for them. 

I love you, I see you, I receive you!

Ps. If you desire to get support to navigate through your opportunities for growth, while being richly rewarded in your biz make sure to learn more and apply for our mastermind below: www.petiakolibova.com/application I will see you there!