193. Their Urgency Is Not Your Urgency

Being off kilter is a normal part of the human experience at least some of the time.  Mindfulness and self-compassion offer opportunities to notice, show yourself compassion, and re-align.  Getting help helps. Enjoy Jessie modeling how getting help helps. Listen as Ni-Cheng demonstrates mindful inquiry and how to explore body sensations, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.   What might be helpful when you next find yourself off-balance Sunshine  Yoga  Exercise/movement Nature Music Human connection Name it to tame it  Feel it to heal it Patience Being not doing Self-compassion Be like a tree    We encourage you to move beyond consuming this podcast and engage in the work.  Having a full toolbox at the ready when the off-kilter day arrives is priceless.  Practice these tools in person at a retreat in 2025. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Blending mindfulness, yoga, farm-to-table food as medicine, and mindset work together make change possible that otherwise wouldn’t be. When you are physiologically and neurochemically in an optimal state opens up a world of creativity and opportunity. You can also choose to respect the moment and start your journey to better right away by signing up for online mindful coaching with Jessie.  Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups. Transition Well and Ongoing Presence start again in January 2025. People are signing up already. Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach

What does non-striving in mindfulness mean? What is the invitation of non-striving? Why might you want to try it? Non-striving isn't about giving up aspirations and goals, it is about letting go. Letting go of control, of needing things to be a certain way, and/or to get a certain outcome. Non Striving is about patience, peace, presence, joy and transformation.  Instead of constantly doing, non-striving is about focusing on being.  Non-striving is allowing yourself to experience the moment without judgment.   It creates space to simply be rather than always reacting to try to change things.  We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. “Being is where the magic and healing happen.” - Dr. Holly MacKenna Non-striving involves accepting yourself as you are and others as they are.  It is about being content where you are, without the need to be anyone else or anywhere else.  Non-striving increases the richness in your life. It helps you find the extraordinary in the ordinary. The space opened up in non-striving opens portals to clarity, curiosity, creativity, and connection. Where are some areas of life that you would like to adopt a non-striving attitude? What are some ways you might try non-striving? What could you commit to not doing?  What would more “being” look like? Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

Are you sitting on a nail and not changing due to the fear of the discomfort of removing that nail? Discomfort, pain, and struggle feel familiar to most of us. We may not notice we are sitting on a nail. If we do, we are often so accustomed to discomfort we stay on the nail anyway. Transition and pivots, ie gettign of the nail are even more uncomfortable, even when they ultimately offer more freedom and space.   Things often have to get SO bad before we are willing “give in” and change.   What if we aren’t "giving in" or giving up when we decide to get off a nail. What if we are giving ourselves permission to finally act in alignment with our core values. Who would you be, could you be, if you stopped sitting on so many nails?   Some common thought patterns and beliefs that keep you sitting on nails: Scarcity mindset  Not valuing yourself or your happiness. The belief that you don't deserve to have a comfortable pain-free life. The belief that being uncomfortable is a badge of honor Lack of boundaries Fear of change, the what if, or making a mistake Fear of judgment or being seen as " - " So used to discomfort and pain we don’t notice the discomfort of the nail Believing that struggling and suffering and hard are valuable   Listen to the episode to learn more. And then sign up to work with us. Consuming this podcast helps but the big shifts happen when you work with us. Personal mindset coaching and experiencing and practicing mindfulness are what actually help you see where you are sitting on nails and grow the courage and belief to finally get off those nails even when getting off is scary. Make 2025 the year you stop sitting on nails.  *Many thanks to Dr. Sonal Haerter for sharing the concept of sitting on nails during her talk at Brave Enough 2024.  Join Jessie for 1:1 coaching or a retreat. Now is the time to jump in if you want to use 2024 CME time or funds. It’s also the time to secure yourself a spot at Nicasio Creek Farm or Sagrada in 2025. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

Do you feel like you are growing faster than your organization has space for?  Are your roots trying to grow out the bottom of your pot? Dr. Holly MacKenna is the Founder of Dara Wellness an Integrative Psychiatry practice in New Orleans. She is Board Certified in Integrative Medicine and Psychiatry. She also has additional certifications in Helms auricular acupuncture and non-touch and distance Reiki. Dr. MacKenna shares the story of starting her integrative practice right before the Covid pandemic. She embraced the journey because she felt like she had grown beyond what her organization had space for. Her roots were trying to grow out the bottom of a pot. She shares the importance of coaching and leaning into a community of support when building something new. She recommends if you don’t have a community, find one or create one. Coaching helped Dr. MacKenna give herself permission to let go of the unspoken rules in her head and make her own rules for the practice and life she was building.  Holly attended the Connect in Nature Mindful Healers Retreat six weeks ago. She recently shared in a Facebook group that she had learned so much at the retreat “without realizing it.”  In today’s podcast, we discuss why and how this happened and the power of nature, especially trees and experiential learning. Holly’s two most powerful learnings at the retreat:  1. Lean into curiosity 2. Being is where the magic and healing happen.  Dr. MacKenna also shares her thoughts as a psychiatrist on the controversies and benefits of coaching and the importance of choosing a qualified coach.  You can find Dr. MacKenna @ www.darawellnessnola.com or www.hollymackennamd.com Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. The date of next year's Connect in Nature Retreat will be released soon. We are leaning into curiosity and will be holding it in a new location and at a new time of year. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach

Nourishing our mind, bodies, and spirits “well” feels amazing!   Why do we talk about it as a task or something that requires discipline? What if we talked about lifestyle medicine and healthy eating as fun, indulgent, and part of a well-lived life?   What if we moved exercise from the chore column to the gift column?  You don’t need to exercise. You want to and you get to.  When you feel great you make better decisions, you are more productive and happier as well as healthier.   Great cooks make healthy food a delight to eat. You get to taste with your eyes and treat your taste buds. As health care providers we can make eating healthy about a feast and delight for the eyes, body, spirit, and soul.    Dr. Rak and I hope you will join us for this fun conversation about the power of “marketing” a healthy lifestyle to ourselves and others.   Join a Pause & Presence Retreat to taste with your eyes and nourish every cell in your body in delightful ways.  Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

Trees offer tremendous wisdom.  In coaching, I often talk about setting an intention to be like a tree for upcoming difficult meetings or conversations. Being like a tree is a surprisingly effective leadership and life strategy.  At the Connect in Nature Mindful Healers Retreat a few weeks ago, one of my intentions was to encourage others to be more tree. Specifically to : Draw strength from others. Ask for help when you need it. Be authentic. Attend to your core. Don't be afraid to branch out. Get plenty of rest. Stand tall. Be open to change.   These lessons come from an inspirational book called How To Be More Tree by Liz Marvin.  Enjoy today’s mindful moment to hear many more lessons from this book. At the Connect in Nature Mindful Healers Retreat we share many lessons from the trees we stand amidst. Trees have roots and they use “their resources” creatively. Their roots are embedded in soil which provides nutrients and microorganisms.  Why not “fertilize your own soil” with the essential nutrients for a healthy, happy, and aligned life? Redwood trees drink fog and live and grow in community.  Their roots are one foot deep and football fields wide creating an extensive network of support. We are stronger together.   Trees grow towards the sun and stand tall and proud. They don’t hide. The branches and leaves grow in the direction of sunlight reminding us to point in the direction of getting what we need and setting ourselves up for success.   Many trees live through extreme temperatures, lack of water, too much water, and fires.  They have scars and other marks but the trees remain as they are through it all leaning into their support systems and utilizing the resources they do have. Trees are calm and grounded. They are graceful and elegant despite irregularities, lumps, and bumps.  Trees sway in storms and rarely fall except in extreme storms. Their wood is strong and flexible. There are all different kinds of trees but the inner anatomy of every tree is largely the same- roots, trunk, branches, leaves. Trees just like humans have more in common than different.  How might you “be more tree”? Join us for the next Mindful Healers Connect in Nature Retreat in SPRING 2025. We will enjoy a different season, and different, but still amazing, natural wonders from a different home base - Nicasio Creek Farm.  We will enjoy creeks, mountain tops, wildflowers, esteros, bays, and the wildlife of West Marin and Point Reyes National Seashore.  We will explore food as nature and hands on experiences of mindful harvesting, preparing, and eating food. Sign up for Jessie’s email list to be notified when registration is open.  Today's Mindful Moment is entitled Invitations from Trees. It includes some of my favorite excerpts from How to Be More Tree- Essential Life Lessons for Perennial Happiness, by Liz Marvin  “This beautifully illustrated book celebrates the wisdom of trees and what they can teach us about everyday life, from basking in the sun to weathering the storm. As you learn about dozens of trees, from the Acai palm to the Yoshino cherry, you'll find that their means of survival are not so different from ours.  The juniper tree proves that it's possible to flourish anywhere as long as we put down strong roots.  A mountain hemlock finds strength basking in the sun while a black walnut's sturdiness comes from its thick, steely core.  The hawthorn demonstrates resilience as it adapts to strong winds and storms by finding balance in its roots. Trees have many more lessons to offer, from letting go of the past, to branching out, to resisting the urge to overstretch ourselves.  Trees have wisdom to offer parents, children, colleagues, leaders, physicians, spouses, and every person as an individual. How to Be More Tree is an essential companion for all those moments when we're having trouble seeing the forest for the trees.” -  How to Be More Tree - Essential Life Lessons for Perennial Happiness, Liz Marvin Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

During times of stress or discomfort old and often maladaptive habits resurface. Many of these habits originate in our childhoods.  This episode sheds light on “reparenting”- what it is and how it can help you meet needs that went unmet in childhood. The intention of reparenting is to move towards healing by creating new healthier patterns. Are there circumstances from your childhood that felt out of your control and like they harmed you?  Might they be influencing your behavior as an adult? “Reparenting is when an adult meets their own needs that went unmet in their childhood. This is often affection, security, routines and structure, emotional regulation, and compassion." - www.verywellmind.com/reparenting-in-therapy-5226096 Many of us in medicine took on the responsible “carer” role in our childhoods.   A few tips to remember while reparenting. All are themes woven into almost every Mindful Healers. Podcast episode. They are also foundations of mindfulness. Stay curious.  Self-compassion Patience Intention Presence Presence can be the ultimate present. Learn more about reparenting in this article: www.verywellmind.com/reparenting-in-therapy-5226096 This podcast is not medical or psychoanalytical advice. Please seek guidance from your own healthcare team regarding whether or not reparenting is something that might be helpful for you.  We encourage you to listen to other episodes in our Parenting with Presence series.  26. What to Do When You Parent Differently 42. Parent with Presence Instead of Worry 45. What to do When Parenting is A Lot 61. Savor All the Moments of Parenthood 63. Cultivating Mindful Families 65. Stop Trying to FIx Your Kids 67. Teen Mental Health 71. How to Be An Even Better Mom 78. Parent from Abundance: Step Out of The Rat Race 93. Coaching in Action - Helping A Mama Bear Find Relief From Anxiety 124. Great Parenting is Often Messy 134. Mindful Wisdom from a New Grandmother 142. Navigating Transitions Tips from a New Dad 150. Parenting Your Athlete with Presence 151. Tips to Launch Your Young Adult Children with Love 167. The Invitation of the College Application Process 187. Opting Out of Toxic Achievement Culture 202. Finding Peace at the Family Dinner Table with Dr. Jaclyn Albin 203. Coaching Can Help you Be a Better Dad with Dr. Adam Was 218. How to Navigate the Early Acute Phase of Empty Nesting with Grace and Compassion We hope you will join us for coaching or a retreat to practice mindful awareness of your thought patterns and tendencies so you can begin to live an intentional, responsive and more fulfilling life. We strongly recommend that you move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats. Information about the location and dates of the 2025 Connect in Nature Retreat will be available in the next few weeks.  In the meantime, hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. Have. us create a team retreat, teach yoga, and/or offer experiential mindfulness for your team, group, grand rounds, institution, or conference. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach #themindfulhealerspodcast

Every parent traverses into the space having an empty nest at some point. We want it to happen and we don’t. If it's not happening we worry. If it is happening we worry.   This episode belongs in both the Parenting with Presence and Transition Well series. Jessie shares about her first week transitioning to an empty nest. The first week of a big life change is, “of course”, filled with intense and often conflicting emotions.     It was a bit like landing in a foreign country. How you feel may be unexpected. It may be different than you think you should feel.   I thought I would be excited…but I wasn’t. As I headed home, I felt chest pressure and was anxious. It was totally unexpected. And it continued to come and go unexpectedly for a week or so.   Below are a few of the mindful tips shared in this episode. I hope they will help you handle the grief, anxiety, sadness or whatever else you might feel in the moment    Pause and breathe and remember to trust and believe in yourself and them. You did the best you could in the moment with the resources, skills and experience that you had in the moment.  Whatever you feel doesn’t have to go away or be controlled. Feel it. When we don’t strive to change it, it passes through more quickly. Somatic work really helps. Join me for a retreat to learn more about this. Be kind to yourself. Hand to heart.  Be patient. Give yourself time to adjust. Try to show up “hands wide open” for the next phase. Be willing to accept the discomfort of uncertainty. Ask yourself “good” questions. What if it’s fun? What if it’s better than you expect? What if you aren’t lonely? What if it’s amazing? Don’t quarterback the past. Did you do a good enough job? Should you have spent more time doing…?    Mindfulness and coaching help tremendously to navigate parenthood and big life and work transitions with buoyancy and grace.    Consider joining me for Transition Well. You can join the fall group until October 1st. If you happen to be a new empty nester or about to be an empty nester, it is also a great time to enjoy a life reset at a Pause & Presence Retreat at Nicasio Creek Farm or Sagrada. Your next chapter will be much more fantastic if you do. Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

Enjoy this Curious About Coaching session and learn about the art of intention setting.  Choosing the tone and energy with which you show up is a life changing way to approach challenging situations.    How a plane lands is determined long before the wheels touch the ground. It takes awareness, attention, focus, and intention to land with safety and grace. If a plane pilot were to not approach a runway with care and planning, the outcome would likely not be optimal.   What if you determined “your approach” before you landed at home after work? Or before a vacation? Or before an important meeting? Or before a date with your partner? Or before morning rush or bedtime struggles? Even before a clinic day, an exercise session or dinner. Listen to learn how to approach your life with intention and enjoy much smoother landings ahead.    Learn how and why you should set yourself up for success with mindfulness practices. Learn the art of choosing guiding words to optimize your results and experience.   Choosing your approach is especially helpful in transitions. Join me to learn all the ins and outs of this and many other tools in Transition Well which starts tomorrow! www.jessiemahoneymd.com/transition-well   If you prefer to learn in person, join me at Nicasio Creek Farm or Sagrada for a retreat.  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

We often think we can’t pivot because "what if" …?  What if the job I pick doesn't work out? What if my wife gets cancer? Last year, Dr. Rakesh Jotwani shared his journey leaving a long-time employed hospitalist position to pivot to lifestyle medicine.  Listen to that episode Mindfulness Can Lead You to a Plant-Based Diet and a Fulfilling Career here.   When we take a risk and make a big change, we all worry about the possibility of catastrophic "what if's".    In this encore episode, Dr. Rakesh Jotwani shares what happened when many of these "what if’s" happened to him over the last year. Life-jarring events often give you even more clarity and motivation to follow your passions. Dr. Rak tells how and why chose to not live as a victim and double down on his values.  Rakesh decided his best bet was to bet on himself. He recommends we all do the same. He chose to see all the steps in his journey, whether expected or not, as valuable information. He chose to embrace the acquired skills and wisdom to help him on his next step.  His parting wisdom: “Pick yourself.” Find out more about Dr. Rak’s programs lifestyle medicine program, tribes @ www.rakyourlife.com One of Dr. Rak’s favorite quotes is, “If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Going far together is the premise behind the Transition Well Small Group Coaching. The fall cohort starts this week. There are only 4 spots left. Your future self in January 2025 will wish you had signed up. Retreats are also a great way to "pick yourself" and move forward on following your dream and choosing to live a more fulfilled life. Join me at Nicasio Creek Farm or Sagrada this year.