The Essence of You: Finding Your Identity w/ Vin Infante

Ready to dive into a raw, real, and much-needed conversation on masculinity? This week, Eli Weinstein sits down with Brendan to unpack the emotional struggles boys and men face today. From feeling isolated to fighting societal pressure to “man up,” they dig deep into the loneliness men often keep hidden.Brendan shares eye-opening research on teenage boys, shedding light on why building community and self-acceptance is the key to emotional growth. They get real about why vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a game changer. This episode is all about breaking down walls and embracing emotions as part of being human. Whether you’re a guy, raising one, or just curious about emotional well-being, this is for you! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Dr. Frank Anderson discusses trauma and healing in this episode. He shares his personal experience with trauma and how it has shaped his career in helping others heal. Dr. Anderson emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting our responses to trauma and the need for connection and support in the healing process. He also highlights the significance of trusting our own wisdom and seeking corrective experiences. Dr. Anderson believes that healing from trauma is possible and encourages individuals to appreciate their own resilience and capacity for healing. Bio: Frank Anderson, MD, is a world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist. He is the acclaimed author of Transcending Trauma, the memoir To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation, and the co-author of the Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual. As a global speaker on treating trauma and dissociation, he’s passionate about teaching brain-based psychotherapy and integrating current neuroscience knowledge with Internal Family Systems (IFS). Dr. Anderson is the co-founder of The Trauma Institute and Trauma Informed Media, organizations that promote trauma awareness, education, integration, and healing. He is a lead trainer at the IFS Institute under Richard Schwartz and has a long affiliation with Bessel van der Kolk and the Trauma Research Foundation. Dr. Anderson maintains a private practice in Harvard, MA, where he lives with his husband and two sons. Follow him at FrankAndersonMD.com and on Instagram at @frank_andersonmd. Takeaways Understand and accept your responses to trauma. Don't blame yourself for how you react. You have what you need inside of you to heal. Trust your own wisdom and seek support and connection. Healing from trauma happens in connection with others. Find healthy and safe relationships that provide corrective experiences. Healing is a process that takes time. Take it one step at a time and be patient with yourself. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 08:01 The Concept of 'Normal' and Self-Acceptance 12:48 Traumatic Experiences and Processing 16:39 Becoming a Chameleon and Opening Up 19:03 Healing Trauma and the Role of Protectors 26:13 The Journey of Healing and Patience 31:55 The Resurgence of Trauma Healing and Integrated Approaches 39:26 Key Points on Trauma and Healing 43:00 Reaching Out and Finding Healing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Sarah Ann Macklin, a registered nutritionist and founder of the top health podcast Live Well, Be Well, shares her journey from the modeling industry to becoming a nutritionist and mental health advocate. She emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and self-care in achieving overall wellness. Sarah discusses the impact of societal pressure and comparison on our mental health and offers strategies for cultivating a positive mindset. She suggests naming the inner critic, practicing mindfulness, and writing self-compassionate letters to develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and our bodies. Sarah Ann Macklin is a multifaceted force in the realm of health, nutrition and advocacy. As the founder of the acclaimed podcast Live Well Be Well and the visionary behind the Be Well Collective, she has galvanised change in the wellness landscape. A registered nutritionist, TEDx speaker, international model and esteemed health journalist, Sarah's impact exceeds boundaries. Named by Marie Claire as the Jamie Oliver of the Modelling industry. Her dedication to preventative mental health initiatives led to the establishment of the Be Well Collective, a not-for-profit organization committed to preventable mental health support on a mission for all minds to BE Well. Through her top health and nutrition podcast, Live Well, Be Well, one of the biggest UK health podcasts with exclusive of-the-moment health conversations involving the world’s renowned scientists and health experts, Sarah has publicized invaluable insights and garnered widespread acclaim. Takeaways Self-compassion is essential for overall wellness and involves acknowledging and accepting our imperfections and treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. Societal pressure and comparison can negatively impact our mental health, and it's important to recognize that everyone experiences self-doubt and struggles. Practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment can help us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings and respond to them in a more rational and compassionate way. Writing self-compassionate letters to ourselves can improve body satisfaction and body image by fostering acceptance and gratitude for our bodies. Developing a positive mindset takes time and effort, but it is possible to cultivate self-love and self-acceptance by challenging negative thoughts and treating ourselves with compassion. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sarah Ann Macklin 01:00 Sarah's Journey into Nutrition and Wellness 03:20 The Impact of the Modeling Industry on Mental Health 08:43 The Dangers of Comparison in the Digital Age 14:45 The Importance of Self-Compassion in Achieving Health 19:49 Balancing Self-Compassion with Societal Pressure 25:31 Cultivating a Positive Mindset and Overcoming Self-Doubt 28:49 Improving Body Image through Self-Compassion 35:23 Strategies for Developing a Healthier Mindset --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Dr. Kat Truitt, a clinical psychologist and applied neuroscientist, discusses the importance of understanding and working with our brains to improve mental health. She shares her personal journey of struggling with mental health and how it led her to pursue a career in psychology. Dr. Truitt emphasizes the need to break down barriers and make mental health services accessible to everyone. She explains how our brains can sometimes feel like they are trying to hurt us, but it's actually a survival mechanism gone awry. She also discusses the concept of the brain holding the key to our health and wellness and how we can learn to utilize it. Dr. Truitt highlights the power of psychosensory tools, such as EMDR and mindful touch, in healing trauma and promoting resilience. She encourages individuals to prioritize their brain health and engage in practices that strengthen their mental well-being. 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:22 Understanding the Power of Our Brains 08:10 Creating Space for Change 19:27 Rebuilding Core Values 23:44 Viewing Trauma as a Challenge and Opportunity 28:21 Training and Strengthening the Brain 34:21 Healing Trauma with Psychosensory Tools 47:36 Conclusion and Contact Information Dr. Kate Truitt, an award-winning clinical psychologist and applied neuroscientist, is internationally recognized for her trauma, stress, and resilience expertise. As the founder of the Truitt Institute, she integrates cutting-edge neuroscience into mental health training and seminars. She also leads her clinical team of expert mental health practitioners at Dr. Kate Truitt & Associates. She serves as CEO of both the Amy Research  Foundation and the Trauma Counseling Center of Los Angeles.  As a member of the Goldie Hawn Foundation’s MindUP Scientific Advisory Committee as well as an expert contributor to the Kevin Love Fund and the Girl Scouts of America, Dr.  Truitt passionately advocates for mental health literacy and empowerment globally.  With an impressive social media following of over 140,000 and a combined viewer and readership of over 10 million, she regularly shares valuable mental health insights.  Her voice in the mental health arena extends to her role as a sought-after speaker and expert in media, including features on BBC and Today. Dr. Truitt has delivered keynotes and training at prestigious platforms like the United Nations and the United States  Department of Defense. As the author of Healing in Your Hands: Self-Havening Exercises  to Harness Neuroplasticity, Heal Traumatic Stress, and Build Resilience and Keep  Breathing, she is dedicated to advancing the treatment of trauma and stress disorders,  making significant strides in destigmatizing mental health and fostering resilience worldwide. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Julie Manano, a licensed marriage and family therapist, specializes in working with couples using emotionally focused therapy for couples. She focuses on attachment styles, particularly the anxious-avoidant dynamic. A healthy relationship is defined by compatibility, shared values, and effective conflict management. Conflict is an opportunity for growth and bonding but must be managed with emotional safety. Change in attachment style can happen within a relationship, but it requires awareness, understanding, and time. The deeper questions to ask in a relationship involve exploring fears, views of self, and shame. Love languages are not enough to replace emotional bonding. In this conversation, Eli Weinstein discusses his book and the importance of understanding relationships' underlying emotions and behaviors. He emphasizes the need for self-reflection and self-awareness to create positive behavior change. Weinstein also highlights the negative cycles that couples often get caught in and provides examples of how to break free from them. He discusses the importance of recognizing that partners are on the same team and need to support each other emotionally. Additionally, he addresses the challenges of adjusting to changes in a relationship and the importance of patience and growth. Chapter: 00:00 Introduction to Julie Manano and Attachment Styles 01:28 Defining Healthy Relationships and Conflict Management 05:09 Breaking the Ideal of No Conflict in Relationships 08:56 The Role of Repair in Relationships 10:22 Understanding Change in Attachment Styles 13:13 Fear of Vulnerability and Change in Relationships 14:40 The Importance of Attachment Styles in Relationships 16:30 Changing Attachment Styles Within a Relationship 18:24 Balancing Repair and Attachment Style Work in Therapy 21:09 Exploring Deeper Questions in Relationships 23:02 The Limitations of Love Languages in Relationships 24:26 A Different Approach to Love and Relationships 24:54 Understanding the Underlying Emotions and Behaviors 27:18 Recognizing the Complexity of Relationship Problems 33:56 Partners on the Same Team: Emotional Support 37:20 Sympathy over Empathy: Connecting to Feelings 48:28 Breaking Free from Negative Cycles Julie Menanno (MA, LMFT, LCPC) is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling clinic, and The Secure Relationship Coaching. She lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband and six children. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach. Bio: Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.    Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.     Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

In this episode, Eli Weinstein interviews Chiemi, a leading expert in infertility and IVF. They discuss the misconceptions and assumptions surrounding infertility, the ongoing emotional and physical toll of the journey, and the importance of compassion and support. They also explore the dynamics of support within couples, the need for active listening and validation, and the challenge of balancing grief and joy. Chiemi emphasizes the importance of honoring one's experience and creating spaces for vitality and self-care. They also discuss the lack of recognition and ritual around the grief of infertility. Key Ideas: Infertility and IVF are often misunderstood, and there are many misconceptions and assumptions surrounding these experiences. The emotional and physical toll of infertility and IVF is significant, and it is important to acknowledge and validate the grief and trauma that individuals and couples go through. Support within couples is crucial, and it is important to listen to and validate each other's experiences actively. Balancing grief and joy can be challenging, but it is possible to hold space for both emotions and allow oneself to experience happiness alongside the pain. Creating spaces for self-care, vitality, and emotional well-being is essential during the infertility journey. The grief of infertility is often unrecognized and lacks the rituals and support that are typically associated with other forms of loss. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Discussion of Misconceptions about Infertility 03:24 The Unrecognized Grief of Infertility 08:55 The Importance of Conversations about Loss and Fertility 15:01 Supporting Each Other in the Infertility Journey 19:12 Navigating Fear and Avoiding Turning Against Each Other 28:24 Creating a Warm and Loving Space in the World of Infertility 30:38 Letting Joy In and Balancing Grief and Happiness 34:02 Shifting the Mindset from Guilt to Acceptance 37:25 Recognizing and Honoring the Grief of Infertility 38:53 Conclusion and Appreciation for the Work of Supporting Infertility Bio: Chiemi aka Miss.Conception Coach is a published writer and Infertility Trauma + Grief Support Specialist. She lends her unique voice and expertise to help people better understand, validate, and process their infertility journey. She uses her platform to raise awareness about the emotions felt and the reality of the mental health issues people experience. Through her unique counseling style, she helps people understand, and heal from their experiences. She offers worldwide individual and couples teletherapy. Connect with Chiemi on Instagram and visit her website to learn more. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist specializing in adult friendships, discusses the importance of friendships and social connections in our lives. She shares her journey of researching adult friendships and the challenges of building and maintaining them. Dr. Kirmayer emphasizes the need for knowledge translation and making evidence-based information about friendships accessible and relatable. She also explores the dynamics of childhood friendships and how they differ from adult friendships. Dr. Kirmayer provides insights on overcoming social anxieties, being open and vulnerable in friendships, and the importance of self-talk and positive cues in building and maintaining connections. Bio: Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and influential speaker on human connection and social support.  With over a decade of research on the science of friendship, Dr. Miriam is revolutionizing the way we show up for, mentor, and connect with each other.  Dr. Miriam is one of the first and only clinical psychologists to specialize in friendship and shares guidance on navigating relationship changes and challenges through her writing, courses, and online community. As a speaker and consultant, Dr. Miriam helps people, teams, and organizations to bridge the connection divide and readily build resilient, supportive relationships. She currently sits on the Mental Health Advisory Board for Wondermind, a mental fitness company co-founded by Selena Gomez and consults for The Foundation for Social Connection. Dr. Miriam regularly contributes research-driven insights and relatable advice to top outlets including The Atlantic, BBC, Forbes, The New York Times, Time, and more.  Dr. Miriam Kirmayer received her Ph.D. from McGill University and lives in Montreal, Canada with her husband and their two children. Connect with Dr. Miriam @miriamkirmayer and learn more at MiriamKirmayer.com. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:44 The Power and Importance of Adult Friendships 08:48 Navigating the Challenges of Building and Maintaining Friendships 15:38 The Role of Self-Talk and Positive Cues in Building Connections 20:53 Embracing New Connections and Initiating Friendships 28:00 Recognizing and Embracing the Evolution of Friendships 32:46 Gender Differences in Friendships 39:19 Men's Need for Intimacy and Self-Disclosure in Friendships 42:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

Dr. Sherri Campbell, an expert on toxic family dynamics and emotional abuse, shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity and genuine care in therapy and how she incorporates personal experiences into her practice. Dr. Campbell defines toxic relationships as poisoning the spirit and preventing individuals from functioning at their full potential. She discusses the need to accept the reality of abusive family members and partners and the process of learning to love oneself after growing up in a toxic environment. Dr. Campbell also highlights the power of creating happiness and the value of suffering in developing empathy and wisdom. Takeaways Authenticity and genuine care are essential in therapy, as they help clients feel seen and valued. Toxic relationships poison the spirit and prevent individuals from reaching their full potential. Accepting the reality of abusive family members and partners is crucial for healing and self-love. Happiness is not given, but created through self-discovery and personal growth. Suffering can lead to increased empathy and wisdom, enhancing one's capacity for happiness and fulfillment. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 07:58 The Journey of Learning to Love Oneself 11:44 Understanding Toxic Relationships 20:59 Connecting Hope and Reality 31:23 The Goal of Therapy for Survivors of Toxic Family Dynamics 37:28 Creating Happiness and the Value of Suffering 42:11 Final Words of Advice --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

In this conversation, Eli Weinstein interviews Vincent Infante, a therapist and life coach who shares his unique approach to helping clients optimize their lives and feel empowered. They discuss the importance of giving grace to others and the limitations of therapy and coaching. They also explore the daily grind that can lead to burnout and ways to alleviate it. The therapist emphasizes the positive intent behind negative emotions and the need to be curious about them. They also discuss the power of mindset shifts, breaking out of diagnoses, and rephrasing language to separate oneself from emotions and experiences. In this conversation, Eli Weinstein and Vin discuss the importance of separating psychological disorders from personal responsibility. They mention Dr. Amen and his work on brain scans to understand mental health. They also talk about the prevalence of making excuses in today's society and the need to take ownership of one's actions and emotions. Vin shares his personal journey of breaking free from victimhood and the importance of honesty and self-awareness. They discuss the five aspects of mastery: thoughts, emotions, behaviors, actions, and language, and how they can be controlled to create a more intentional and empowered life. Takeaways Give grace to others and be flexible when scheduling and rescheduling appointments. Therapy and coaching have their limitations, and a hybrid approach that combines aspects of both can be more effective. Negative emotions have positive intent and can be indicators of deeper challenges or problems. The daily grind can lead to burnout, and it's important to find ways to alleviate it. Rephrasing language and separating oneself from diagnoses can help create possibilities for change and overcome negative experiences. Separate psychological disorders from personal responsibility Take ownership of your actions and emotions Be honest and self-aware about who you are Control your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, actions, and language Create an intentional and empowered life Chapters 00:00 The Power of Giving Grace and Flexibility 03:49 The Limitations of Therapy and Coaching 08:04 Alleviating the Daily Grind 13:24 The Positive Intent of Negative Emotions 23:08 Rephrasing Language for Change and Possibilities 25:02 Understanding Psychological Disorders and Personal Responsibility 26:31 Taking Ownership of Your Actions and Emotions 30:32 Breaking Free from Victimhood through Honesty and Self-Awareness 39:10 Mastering Your Thoughts, Emotions, Behaviors, Actions, and Language 45:00 Creating an Intentional and Empowered Life For more on Vincent Infante, check out the links below: Website: www.vincentinfante.life LinkedIn: www.Linkedin.com/in/vininfante Instagram: www.instagram.com/vin.infante PsychologyToday: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vincent-infante-staten-island-ny/821820 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support