Episode 256: Exploring Attachment Patterns with Eli Harwood

“Therapy is dead,” says this week’s podcast guest, Dawn Wiggins. In this episode, we get to the heart of why Dawn says therapy isn’t always the answer and, instead, how somatic and homeopathic techniques help individuals heal from various forms of trauma.   Dawn is a trauma-informed licensed marriage and family therapist and integrative healer who helps women turn the traumatic journey of divorce into a force for healing, self-love, and joy through a tailored blend of holistic and scientifically supported solutions.   Featured topics: Supported solutions for healing like EFT (6:45) Why Dawn says therapy is dead + explains the job of a therapist (16:25) Homeopathy: what it is and how Dawn weaves it into her practice (18:31) How we can use all of these techniques to heal the trauma of divorce and more (29:19) Learn more about Dawn Wiggins: Dawn Wiggins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR specialist, and constitutional homeopath. She draws on decades of experience to help women navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes after ending a marriage. Using a little bit of science, a few alternative remedies and emotional release techniques, a whole lot of love, and zero BS, we step out of the victim mindset and into building a new life after divorce. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Dawn's website Dawn on Facebook Dawn on Instagram Post Divorce Roadmap - 21 Days of Guided Journaling Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-267-is-therapy-dead-with-dawn-wiggins/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are talking about a really important topic this week: grief. Grief is shocking in divorce. My guest Barri Leiner Grant, is a grief specialist and educator who joins me to help us understand how to process the grief we feel over an ended marriage. Barri divorced after a 17-year marriage and helps name grief and grieving for others who have experienced losing an imagined future. Putting the G-word in the D-word!   Featured topics: Why do we grieve a divorce? (2:16) Shame is a complicating factor in grief and divorce (8:49) The root cause of the shame and how to move through it (17:00) If we don’t look at our grief head-on, it will grow like a weed Grief tending: what it is and how you can tend to your grief (21:18) Exploring who you are now and who you want to be (28:35) Learn more about Barri Leiner Grant: Barri Leiner Grant is a grief specialist and educator and the founder of The Memory Circle -- a place and space she created for those who have experienced both death and non-death losses. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, and Maria Shriver's Sunday paper, among many other media outlets. She is an author who shares her personal experiences of loss widely. She divorced after a 17-year marriage and helps name grief and grieving for others who have experienced losing a future imagined. Putting the G-word in the D-word!   Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Barri's website Barri on Instagram The Artist’s Way Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-266-putting-the-g-word-in-the-d-word-with-barri-leiner-grant TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Surviving divorce is one thing, but surviving divorce with a co-parent who abuses alcohol is a whole different ball game. Soberlink is a high-tech breathalyzer system that sends you instant results of a co-parent’s alcohol levels. When your co-parent tests, their identity is automatically confirmed with facial recognition, and tamper sensors ensure no cheating has occurred. You then get instant proof that your kids are safe in their care. Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Help your family thrive in the new year. Visit www.soberlink.com/dsg to learn more and get $50 off your device. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sadie Marie of Divorced and Happy joins me for a conversation about why life after divorce is the BEST, and her path of personal growth, self-discovery, and relationships. Sadie Marie empowers divorced men and women globally to embrace the exciting, playful - and even spicy - life that awaits them after divorce.  Our conversation is multifaceted, from feeling disempowered in marriage to reclaiming empowerment. We also touch on navigating divorce within friendships and pursuing genuine happiness. Listen in to hear about Sadie Marie’s joy-filled journey post-divorce. Her journey is a true testament that finding happiness post-divorce is possible!  Featured topics: What it means to be divorced and happy. (4:56) The feeling of being disempowered in marriage to moving to a place of empowerment. (7:17) Sadie shares her journey through fun, play, dating, and sexual exploration. (13:10) Navigating divorce and friendships. (17:39) Becoming a happy person and what the work looks like to get there. (20:13) Vanilla, Strawberry, and Sprinkles! Yes, please. Sadie tells us about her “What’s your dating flavor?” quiz. (31:54) Learn more about Sadie Marie: Sadie Marie, host of Sadie’s Divorced and Happy podcast, empowers divorced men and women globally to embrace the exciting, playful - and even spicy - life that awaits them after divorce. Sadie also produces Divorced and Happy social events in cities across the country, including the Twin Cities, Denver, and Chicago. Learn more at DivorcedandHappy.net  Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Divorced and Happy Sadie Marie on Instagram Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-265-divorced-and-happy-with-sadie-marie/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am thrilled to welcome Susan Hyatt, a Master Certified Life Coach, Bestselling Author, and TEDx Speaker. Susan is on a mission to disrupt the age and wage gaps—all the gaps that hold women back. Her work (and this conversation) empowers women, particularly those in midlife, to embrace their prime with fervor and enthusiasm. Together, we discuss female empowerment, self-discovery, and the journey towards embracing one's prime, including our sexuality (and I tell you guys something I haven’t told anyone else). We'll also explore the transformative potential of personal and financial growth, including opportunities in commercial real estate investment for women. Prepare for an episode filled with wisdom, inspiration, and actionable steps to redefine aging and self-worth. Featured topics: Embracing what it means to be in our prime (3:27) Disrupting age and beauty norms, including the notion that “thin is better” (9:57) Body acceptance, women and pleasure (20:26) Big YES Energy and how to tap into it (29:00) Women and building wealth (37:09) Learn more about Susan Hyatt: Susan Hyatt is a veteran Master Certified Life Coach, Bestselling Author, and TEDx Speaker. She helps women claim Big Yes Energy, getting more of whatever they want—from money to confidence, energy to joy. She is also the creator of BARE - a groundbreaking process that’s inspired women all over the world to stop shrinking their bodies and start expanding their lives. Susan has been featured on national TV and in magazines like O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, and Woman’s World and was a finalist for the Athena Award, recognizing leadership in the field of women’s empowerment and entrepreneurship. When Susan is not hyping up her clients, leading epic retreats, or making a scene, you can find her lifting heavy weights, traveling the world, enjoying her hygge corner, and ditching the “invisible workload” so she can earn more and play more. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Susan’s website Women Invested  Susan on Instagram Susan on Facebook Show link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-264-big-yes-energy-with-susan-hyatt/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover how laughter can lighten the weight of divorce in this week’s episode. When your whole world feels on fire, bringing levity to divorce can be like a breath of fresh air. My guest this week, Andrea Rappaport, knows a thing or two about imparting humor in one's life while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is a recovering comedian who is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce.  Andrea and I look at the delicate balance between humor and seriousness in this episode when discussing divorce. Plus, we talk about why finding the right attorney is essential and the need for having a supportive squad by your side.  Featured topics: Why humor is so important when we're struggling (3:30) Some of the mistakes Andrea made in her divorce and what she learned (10:30) Checking expectations: “If you have an unhealthy marriage, you will likely not have a healthy divorce.” (11:53) Hiring the RIGHT attorney for your divorce (14:15) Why you need and DESERVE a team of support as you go through this process (44:20) Learn more about Andrea Rappaport: Andrea Rappaport is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce. As a recovering comedian, she STRONGLY values the need for humor in our lives while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is proudly divorced and a mom to two little boys whom she loves almost as much as a shopping trip to TJMAXX. She has recently been engaged to a man who makes her laugh and loves her deeply. When she’s not shopping or podcasting, Andrea co-runs a Chicago-based marketing and messaging firm, Rappaport & Schaer. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Andrea’s website Andrea on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tami Wollensak returns to the show! She shares more about divorcing and the nuances of keeping, selling, or refinancing your home. Tami is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 28+ year industry veteran. She has discovered her passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time. Grab your notebook and a pen - this episode is a notetaking one that busts some myths and provides expert advice on what questions to ask when considering whether to take or leave the house during your divorce.   Featured topics: Assuming the mortgage on the marital home: The answer to “Can my ex assume the mortgage on the marital home?” is not always “No.” (4:18) What are your options if you are unable to assume the mortgage? (21:00) The importance of considering the long-term consequences of sharing a mortgage with your ex (23:21) The information you need to be able to decide if you can assume a mortgage (28:04) Learn more about Tami Wollensak: Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan officer and a 28+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time of their life. Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, coach, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate or future purchase. Tami has been a guest on multiple podcasts, speaks regularly and contributes to many media outlets on divorce mortgage planning and helping divorcing homeowners to make better and more informed decisions when it comes to their real property. As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Tami can lend in all 50 states. (NMLS #1963450) Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Tami’s website Tami on Facebook  Tami on LinkedIn Tami on Instagram Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-262-home-equity-solutions-in-divorce-with-tami-wollensak/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Licensed Psychologist Dr. Justine Weber is on the show this week as we explore the complex journey of healing after leaving an abusive relationship. Her recent book is, “How the F*ck Do I Heal From This?” and the title (and content) is a favorite of mine! In the book and during our conversation, Dr. Weber walks us through understanding narcissistic abuse and how to put your life back together after everything feels like it has fallen apart.   Together, we explore everything from dealing with post-separation abuse and navigating co-parenting with a narcissist to finding solace in somatic therapy and building back self-trust. This episode unpacks the multifaceted process of healing and empowerment. Featured topics: Somatic therapy and learning to reconnect with Self (11:33) Navigating post-separation abuse while working toward healing (17:42) Tips and insights for communicating with a narcissist (22:41) How to cope and detach from legal threats made by your abuser (35:27) Learn more about Justine Weber: California licensed Psychologist, a coach helping people heal after a narcissistic relationship, certified in high conflict divorce coaching, and a recent book author titled "How the fuck do I heal from this? Understanding narcissistic abuse and how to put your life back together". Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Justine’s website Justine’s book, “How the F*ck Do I Heal From This?” BIFF for Co-Parent Communication =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Relationship coach and author Bryan Reeves joins me this week to discuss relationships, personal growth, and societal constructs. Bryan’s journey from military service to relationship coaching reveals insights into the power and necessity of connecting with emotions, especially for men.  Many of Bryan’s insights are drawn from his work with couples and his book, “Choose Her Every Day or Leave Her,” focusing on choosing connection over disconnection, confronting one’s fears, and the transformative power of love and accountability in relationships. Bryan’s work is incredibly important. Please listen to what’s possible in the world of relationships. This is truly an insightful conversation! Featured topics: Most men come to relationship work when they realize they have no choice… (3:01) How culture teaches men to suppress emotions and the journey from disconnection to real connection with feelings and others (5:17) Bryan talks about what he means when he says he teaches men “to care and not care simultaneously.” (20:00) Creating safety in relationship with women and taking responsibility (38:51) Encouraging men’s engagement in personal growth (48:12) Learn more about Bryan Reeves: A former US Air Force Captain, Bryan is now an internationally renowned Author and Life/Relationship Coach with a current focus on supporting men to have better lives and relationships. His viral blog has been read by over 50 million people in every country on the planet (except North Korea). He’s the co-founder of “Elevate Your Relationship,” a live coaching program for men ready to elevate their relationship game, which currently serves men in 10 countries. He’s co-host of the popular podcast, “Men, This Way,” and his newest book, Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her), is available on Audible, Amazon and other retailers. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” – audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Bryan’s website Bryan’s book: Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) Women Who Run With Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes -------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Psychologist and writer Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. We also delve into its effects on individuals and share insights on self-nurturing after the relationship ends. Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. Featured topics: We explore the phrase “It takes two to tango…” Does it, though, when narcissistic abuse or toxicity is involved in a relationship? (1:49) Is there anything that you can do to help a narcissistic and abusive partner? The short answer is no. (7:00) Narcissistic Personality is a disorder. It’s not a mental health condition. Kerry explains the distinction. (11:58) The slow dismantling of Self when you are in an abusive relationship. (15:29) Covert Aggression: what it means and how it shows up (19:56) Focusing on and nurturing yourself back to life is essential in a relationship that has dimmed you. (46:08) Learn more about Kerry McAvoy: Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word - audiobook now available! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kerry's book, Love You More Kerry on TikTok Kerry on Instagram Kerry on Facebook Kerry on YouTube Why Can’t I Just Leave (book) Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-259-healing-from-narcissistic-relationships-with-kerry-mcavoy/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest, Jason VanRuler, shares his direct and honest approach to working with couples and offers a fresh perspective on overcoming past challenges and building exceptional relationships. During our conversation, you’ll discover how to “Get Past Your Past” as Jason shares invaluable insights, emphasizing the importance of taking action and not seeking validation from others for your progress. We also discuss navigating resistance in relationships, dealing with differing narratives in divorce, and addressing the complexities of sex addiction within marriage. With over a decade of experience as a coach and therapist, Jason’s expertise shines through as he offers practical advice and compassionate support.  Featured topics: Jason explains what he means by “get past your past…” (2:28) “Sometimes it’s not that you don’t know what to do; it’s that you are not doing what you’re supposed to do.” (8:53) It is essential to recognize that not everyone will be happy about your progress when you do the work. Do not determine your success by the approval of the people you are surrounded by. (9:56) The effects and challenges a couple faces when one is doing the work and the other is resistant. (13:07) Jason answers, “What do you do when your ex-partner has a narrative about your divorce that differs from yours?” (22:52) The effects of sex addiction on marriage and how Jason works with couples around this type of addiction. (31:57) Learn more about Jason VanRuler: Jason VanRuler has worked in everything from the corporate world to the entrepreneurial one — and has over a decade of experience as a coach and therapist dedicated to helping others. With extensive experience as a coach, clinician, and speaker, Jason now owns a private practice, writes books, gives speeches, and facilitates and leads groups across the world. Coaching is always equal parts affirming, honest, and compassionate — and Jason’s practice has led with this approach when helping every client seeking guidance and direction. Whether it’s leadership coaching, relationship building, couples therapy, addiction, trauma, or something different, his goal is the same: to speak truth and grace into every life I work with. When Jason is not facilitating, coaching, speaking, or writing, you can find him cycling, fly fishing, and living life with his wife and three children at their home in South Dakota.   Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Jason’s website Jason’s book Get Past Your Past Jason on Instagram TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: PRIMIS BANK Get started navigating your new financial picture with Primis Bank. For terms and conditions, visit primisbank.com/dsg. SOBERLINK Surviving divorce is one thing, but surviving divorce with a co-parent who abuses alcohol is a whole different ball game. Soberlink is a high-tech breathalyzer system that sends you instant results of a co-parent’s alcohol levels. When your co-parent tests, their identity is automatically confirmed with facial recognition, and tamper sensors ensure no cheating has occurred. You then get instant proof that your kids are safe in their care. Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Help your family thrive in the new year. Visit www.soberlink.com/dsg to learn more and get $50 off your device. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices