E313 | How to Communicate with Someone Who Shuts Down or Stonewalls

You have to admit, it happens a lot.  You’ll be doing something mundane and BOOM, an amazing idea hits you that you’ll want to remember for later.  Only you don’t, and all of that potential slips away…   The amount of books that go unwritten, keynote speeches undelivered, businesses or products not developed - the list is endless.  High-performers recognize the power of capturing these thoughts and have a system for seizing and converting them into something tangible that can add value to the world and change people’s lives.  As with any topic, before you can figure out how to make it the most applicable to you, we must start from the beginning.  In this podcast we discuss: How capturing ideas can reduce cognitive load Developing a flexible structure that doesn’t stifle your personality  Tips for organizing thoughts and ideas so you can recall them when the time is right The many benefits of using voice memos that you’ve probably never considered before We created this episode from the overwhelming number of responses we had to our episode with Andrew Coates on Information Overload.  If you’d like us to continue this series, or have suggestions or questions you’d like covered in a future episode, let us know at artofcoaching.com/question.   If you struggle with turning your ideas into actions we offer virtual one to one mentoring to tailor our services to best fit your needs, on your schedule!  Take the next step by emailing us at [email protected].  We can’t wait to hear from you! Compiling thoughts and organizing them into a well-crafted message is the essence of public speaking.  We’ll walk you through this process step-by-step, give you the reps you need to refine your message, and specific feedback through a research-backed evaluation at our only Speaker School of the year June 1st & 2nd in Phoenix, AZ.  Whether you’d like to keynote and develop a speaking career or just get better being in front of people, this event is a MUST.  If you have any questions and want to find out if this, or any of our other  live events are for you, reach out at [email protected] and we’ll figure out how we can help. This is also our EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT LAST CALL for The Apprenticeship In Calgary, Canada June 22nd & 23rd!  Sign up before the April 21st deadline and SAVE UP TO $200!   Our trips North of the border are going to be limited for the next 18 months.  Come and see us!

"What a letdown! I expected more…" We’ve all felt this way when something fails to meet our expectations.  It’s one thing if it’s a product we bought off Amazon or an over-hyped movie, but what if it’s something bigger?  What if a misstep in communication hurts us professionally or negatively impacts a personal relationship?   Today’s episode is your how-to, practical guide to setting and managing expectations.  If done well, we can preemptively address potential misunderstandings and conflicts and allocate more of our resources where we need them most.   Over the course of this episode, we’ll discuss: The reasons setting expectations is critical from a psychological standpoint Practical steps to earn trust with new colleagues  Aspects to consider when establishing new boundaries in a personal relationship Speaking points you can use tomorrow with your team to jumpstart buy-in This episode was directly inspired by questions submitted by our listeners.  If you’d like to submit a topic for us to cover in a future episode, visit artofcoaching.com/question.  If you want a deeper dive into anything we do or want hands-on guidance on a personal issue, we offer live events and virtual one-to-one mentoring.  For options email us at [email protected] - we’d love to help! Today’s episode is sponsored by Momentous.  Let’s be frank, most supplements are BS.  The industry is full of overhyped charlatans that underdeliver products that do not work.  Not Momentus.  Their mission is to provide practical nutritional support for people who want to improve their health and fitness.  Their supplements go through the rigorous process of NSF certification, so you can trust what is on the bottle is what you’re ingesting.  They’re a longtime partner of ours for good reason - they believe in the same things we do.  Fundamentals NOT fluff.  Visit livemomentus.com/brett to SAVE 15%! This show is sponsored by Better Help.  Are you someone who’s social battery can run low?  Many of us struggle at setting boundaries and allow ourselves to get worn down, especially when we’re trying to help others.  Not recognizing when it’s time to seek help yourself can have dire consequences.  Luckily, our friends at Better Help can help!  They made it very convenient, as it is entirely online and suited to fit your schedule.  All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire and they’ll match you up with a licensed therapist who will listen and help you recharge.  Go to betterhelp.com/AOC and receive 10% OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH! Come join us for The Apprenticeship In Calgary, Canada June 22nd & 23rd!  Whether you’re a people pleaser that knows you need to be better in conflict, somebody who wants to improve how you interact with your staff, or a parent who wants to connect better with their kids, this event is for you!  We go over: persuasion techniques, power dynamics, how to control your emotions during a conflict - and most importantly, we do it in a fun way.  Rich with feedback and opportunities to connect with people from other professions, this hands-on learning experience is something you won’t find anywhere else.  Sign up before April 21st to take advantage of our Early Bird Discount and SAVE UP TO $200!  This will be our last trip North of the border for a while, don’t miss out!

The influx of new information is relentless.  It never stops coming.  It never will. How can we fight back against this onslaught?   What principles can we use to guide and harness our focus? Our guest today has an uncanny ability to absorb, analyze, and apply vast amounts of information across diverse subjects.  Andrew Coates is a coach, writer, and speaker.  He’s written for several publications, including Men’s Health and Muscle and Fitness, and is the host of The Lift Free and Die Hard Podcast.   In this episode, we discuss: How to optimize your learning process  Time management and when to adjust priorities Tools for capturing ideas and turning them into impactful content How to self monitor and avoid burnout Referenced Resources: If you’d like to connect with Andrew on social media or ask him a question directly, you can find him on Instagram at @andrewcoatesfitness.  You can also read his articles, blog posts, and more at www.andrewcoatesfitness.com.  Referenced Material: E273: The Productivity Myth: Tips For Making Sustainable Progress Without Sacrificing Your Sanity On June 1st - 2nd we’re hosting our Speaker School in Phoenix, AZ, where you can find your voice and refine your message in a judgment-free environment using our research backed evaluation, video analysis, and feedback from your fellow attendees.  We’ll also cover topics on slide design, how to present more effectively, and how to be more articulate.  This is for everyone ranging from those who need more confidence and are battling social anxiety, to someone who is getting paid to speak in front of large numbers.  We keep the number of participants to 10 or less to make sure you get enough reps.  Spots are limited, so lock yours in today HERE! You also don’t need me to remind you how important what you put in your body is and the impact it can have on your health. Whether you’re a world class athlete or someone who sits at their desk all day in the corporate world, Momentous has products that can help you perform at the highest level. They are all quality tested at the highest level, and they are for anyone who wants to feel better without overthinking their nutrition. Use Code: BRETT15 for 15% off your order.

We’ve heard it all before.  Stay calm. Relax. Carve out some time for yourself. But let’s face it - stress is part of the human condition. Is there anything we can realistically do to manage this force that has the potential to wreak havoc on our lives? Our guest today has fought this battle and emerged a better version of himself.  Taylor Somerville spent 15 years in the investment business, but the stress and anxiety of it left him deep in burnout .  So, he left that all behind, and in 2018 he founded Symmetry, a company that helps organizations, athletes, and individuals across multiple spectrums improve their own stress management, performance, and overall health and wellness.   In today’s episode, we discuss: What it takes to pivot in your career  How to find your audience and cultivate your niche Strategies and tools to harness the power of breathwork How reframing can be a powerful tool for stress management Referenced Resources: If you’d learn more about Taylor and Symmetry’s services, visit www.symmetry.live and follow them on Instagram at @symmetry.live.  Today’s show is brought to you by Momentous.  When it comes to your health, the best thing you can do is control the controllables. And that is why we are proud to partner with companies like Momentous, who remain focused on providing and developing products that will keep your body running at its best. If you’re looking for a way to boost your protein intake, elevate your workouts, or supplement your diet, use code: BRETT15 for 15% off your order. DON’T MISS THIS! This is also our last call for The Apprenticeship in Phoenix April 20th-21st.  Bookmark our Live Events page so you’ll never miss a date! Referenced Material:Entrepreneur Essentials: Pt 1, Pt 2, and Pt 3

Have you been dying to build a business in Coaching or another passion, but have no idea where to start?  If you don’t take action, will it turn into a regret that you’ll never forgive yourself for? Our guest today has helped countless people reach business success they had never thought was possible.  Donald Miller is the CEO of Story Brand and Business Made Simple.  He’s also the Host of the Coach Builder youtube channel, and the author of several best selling books including: Building  Story Brand, Marking Made Simple, and How To Grow Your Small Business.  In this episode we dive deep into his new book Coach Builder and cover many topics including: The importance of defining your brand What to look for when hiring new employees or a virtual assistant How long it realistically takes to become a trusted authority Guidelines for creating your first high-revenue product The must-use tools for entrepreneurs at any level  Referenced Resources: If you’d like to order Donald’s new book, please visit www.coachbuilder.com/artofcoaching and receive a Bonus Webinar: How To Sell Your Coaching Services! Ironically, during the episode Donald uses an example for a business idea of a workshop around developing keynote presentations.  If that type of product would interest you, we have good news!  On June 1st - 2nd we’re hosting our Speaker School in Phoenix, AZ.  Our team has experience delivering keynotes to industry leaders from Microsoft, Facebook, Wells Fargo, several Universities, and Professional Sport organizations.  This workshop isn’t just for experienced speakers, it’s also for those who want to find their voice or ease the social anxiety that comes with public speaking.  We keep the number of participants to 10 or less to make sure you get the experience and feedback you deserve. Sign ups are open now and you can take advantage of Early Bird Special and save up to $200!  Hurry, offer expires April 1st! If you haven’t already, make sure you sign up for our Newsletter and stay up to date on all of our Courses and Live Events.

Imagine approaching a vehicle or entering a building, not knowing if the people inside wanted to do you harm.  The ability to maintain composure in high risk situations like this can be the difference between going home to your family or being rushed to the hospital. That statement isn’t just hyperbole, it’s woven into Tyson Shumway’s daily life.  Tyson has worn a number of hats along with his body armor over his 16 year career as a police officer.  He began his career on the Southside of Los Angeles before transitioning to SWAT, where he was a team member for 7 years.  In addition, he has also taught cadets at the police academy and is currently on patrol in Sacramento.  His passion for teaching has carried over to his off-duty time where he conducts firearms training for Fieldcraft Survival and is a Facilitator with Art of Coaching.   In today’s episode, we: Discuss how a law enforcement professional approaches de-escalating conflict Learn how to manage our emotions in tense situations Weigh the costs of engaging in office politics Explore the benefits of leveraging our inner anti-hero Referenced Resources: One recurring frustration from today’s episode was the lack of opportunities to practice communication skills.  On June 1st - 2nd we’re hosting our Speaker School in Phoenix, AZ, where you can find your voice and refine your message in a judgment-free environment using our research backed evaluation, video analysis, and feedback from your fellow attendees.  We’ll also cover topics on slide design, how to present more effectively, and how to be more articulate.  This is for everyone ranging from those who need more confidence and are battling social anxiety, to someone who is getting paid to speak in front of large numbers.  We keep the number of participants to 10 or less to make sure you get enough reps. Sign ups are open now and you can take advantage of Early Bird Special and save up to $200!  Hurry, offer expires April 1st! If you enjoyed this episode and are a new listener, we are dying to know you and be a key resource for you achieving your goals.  Shoot us an email at [email protected] and let us know how we can help.  Make sure you sign up for our Newsletter and stay up to date on all of our Courses and Live Events.  Referenced Material: E240: The 4 Styles Of Communication E282: Understanding Neurodiversity: Strategies For Clear Communication And Collaborative Leadership Today’s show is brought to you by one of our oldest partners, Momentous.  When it comes to your health, the best thing you can do is control the controllables. And that is why we are proud to partner with companies like Momentous, who remain focused on providing and developing products that will keep your body running at its best. If you’re looking for a way to boost your protein intake, elevate your workouts, or supplement your diet, use code: BRETT15 for 15% off your order.

“Just stay positive!  You’ll figure it out.  Stick with it!  Keep grinding 💪  Don’t forget to practice gratitude. 🙏” These are just a few of the commonly used phrases we hear from those who pound the positive leadership drum over, and over, and over again.  Though well-intentioned, messages like these perpetuate the myth that a leader should always be positive, putting an immense amount of pressure on people to live up to a heroic ideal.  In the real world, we’re all just human, and embracing that is the key to being a more genuine, authentic, and skillful leader.  In today’s episode, we: Explain the consequences of forced positivity Discuss the purposes of all 6 primary emotions  Break down how to recognize, manage, and use “negative emotions” to enhance our leadership skills Referenced Resources: If this episode struck a nerve and you’d like to dive deeper or you have specific questions, we’d love to interact with you in our online community - Mighty Networks.  This is our answer to the shortcomings of other social media platforms, and allows our team to deliver a steady stream of content that directly addresses your needs!  This is the best-kept secret of our Art Of Coaching offerings and is less than $20 per month! You can cancel for free at any time, so why not give us a chance to provide you with value?  Sign up HERE today! There is so much more to leadership than just being positive.  Humans are complex and communication is like any skill, it must be understood and practiced.  There is no better place to get the knowledge and application you need than at The Apprenticeship.  If you’d like to trade mantras for impact, nothing packs a punch like experiential learning with a like-minded group of peers.  Words don’t do it justice! Come see us April 20th-21st in Phoenix, AZ!  Newsletter: Be the first to access all our live events & latest Free Resources and receive exclusive discounts! Your opinion and feedback matters to us!  Realistically, it’s the only way we know if the time and effort we put into our podcast each week is worth it!  So If this episode was helpful and you appreciated the topic, please do us a favor and leave us a review on iTunes and share the episode with anyone else you think would benefit from it.  This helps us more than you know, and we can’t thank you enough for your time, effort, and support!  And, as always, if you have any questions or specific topics you’d like to hear about, reach out to us directly at [email protected]. Referenced Material: E252: Strategies For Combating The Holiday Blues & Getting Out Of A Rut Today’s podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp: Listen, life does not come with a user manual. You don't need me to tell you that. So when it's not working for you, maybe you feel like you're in a funk, maybe you're having a hard time making a decision, maybe you just need somebody to listen to you. It is an asset to be able to reach out to the world's largest therapy service. Better help has matched 3 million people with Professionally licensed and bedded therapists that are available 100% online, and it's affordable.  Go to betterhelp.com/aoc.

Have you ever heard someone deliver a captivating message that seemed to use all the right words in just the right way?  Whether it’s in casual conversation, at work pitching a new idea, in front of an audience, or in the way we write, we want our message to seamlessly flow from one point to the next and be easy to understand.   Fluency and articulation are unquestionably important if you want to be persuasive and project confidence and competence. Being able to communicate with precision is a skill that is trainable and is very much at the core of our mission at Art of Coaching.  This episode will cover: Define verbal fluency and articulation and how they complement each other Distinguish between clarity and conciseness  How to manage disfluencies and when they can actually be helpful The neurophysiological component and tips on how to make meaningful improvements Referenced Resources: If you want to improve your public speaking or aspire to get in front of an audience someday or even if you’d just like to be more confident in front of a room, Speaker School is the perfect live event for you!  Whether you have a message you’ve been burning to get out, or are still in the idea stage, there is no better place to find true progress.  Our Early Bird special is still available through April 1st, don’t hesitate on your chance to SAVE UP TO $200! If you loved the episode but can’t get to Speaker School, we also offer virtual mentoring and will do whatever we can to meet you where you are.  Send us a message at [email protected] and let's get started! More dates and events for 2024 are being added, keep up to date and come see us this year at one of our Live Events!  We’d love to see you there! Referenced Material: The previous episode in this series all about Self Comparison

How can you keep self comparison from becoming a negative force in our lives?  We’ve all heard phrases such as “comparison is the thief of joy,” and have been bombarded with negative stories and statistics about social media and its magnification of self comparison.  While we don’t dispute the destructive effect it can have, comparison can also be harnessed for good and boost our self worth.   Today’s episode will cover the history of self-comparison - the innate human behavior that can help us assess where our current abilities are and motivate us to push further, if properly managed and kept in check.  We’ll cover: The science behind self comparison and social learning theory 4 types of comparisons How our drives affect the way we compare ourselves to others and our past selves General tips for how to keep self comparison from turning into self destruction Referenced Resources: If you happened to miss the first episode in this series - How To Communicate With Someone Who Shuts Down or Stonewalls - give it a listen!   We can’t fully grasp who we are without understanding what drives and motivates our decisions and behaviors.  Take our quiz and understand more thoroughly another piece in the messy puzzle of self comparison. It’s natural to want to compare yourself to your past self and others.  If you’d like to receive feedback and be evaluated in real time from a diverse group of like-minded peers, we can’t recommend The Apprenticeship, Speaker School, or Brand Builder live workshops enough!  If a group workshop doesn’t really sound like your thing, but you would really like some professional evaluation and feedback, check out our 3 month 1:1 Mentorship Program. Reach out to our team at [email protected] to take your next steps! Our next Apprenticeship workshop is in beautiful Phoenix, AZ, and the Early Bird special is only available until February 20!  Don’t miss out on your chance to SAVE $150!  More dates and events for 2024 are being added, keep up to date and come see us this year at one of our Live Events! Referenced Material: One of life’s biggest stressors - Time Management The envious brain: The neural basis of social comparison Life Lessons and Leadership From My Mom