Episode 68

Daniel and Jenna talk about how their recovery programs are evolving as their lives and circumstances change. Jenna opens up about this transitional time in her life and how she hasn't felt inspired to commit time or energy to her recovery program. They discuss boredom and discovering new hobbies or ways to have fun. Daniel explains (through some minor technical difficulties) how the change of seasons makes him uncomfortable and the importance of staying focused on recovery during this time.

Daniel and Jenna talk about leading double lives in active addition. They discuss the level of denial they were both in when telling themselves they were successful parents, partners, and professionals while maintaining an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Daniel shares about recently researching gummies which leads to a discussion about having addictive personalities and how it can sneak in at unexpected times. 

Daniel tells Jenna about a recent mom & daughter gathering at his house that ended with Daniel ubering a couple friends home. They talk about "mommy wine culture" as Jenna recalls some of her play date experiences as a mom of young children. They discuss the mental energy they used to watch, calculate and plan their drinking when trying to fit in with parent functions.

Daniel and Jenna talk about their Labor Day weekends and their ability to navigate last-minute changes to plans. Jenna tells how her weekend abruptly shifted to accommodate her daughter's needs. Daniel talks about gaslighting and tells a story about a recent interaction in which he maintained a professional demeanor without being passive, apologetic, or confrontational.

Daniel recalls the anxiety associated with Labor Day weekend and back-to-school season as a student as well as an educator. He talks about the false promises he would repeatedly make, intending to use Labor Day as a "regroup" day when, in reality, he would continue to rationalize drinking through Monday. Daniel and Jenna discuss academic and social pressures as they relate to their children facing different adolescent phases. Jenna talks about her new-found alone time and the associated challenges with one child now in college and the other spending less and less time at home. 

Daniel and Jenna talk about feelings of underlying rage and how it can sometimes be exacerbated by emotional sobriety and navigating life's conflict without alcohol. They talk about how practicing gratitude, patience, and humility are useful tools for keeping and even mood and practicing conflict resolution. They also discuss Jenna's search for a new AA meeting that meets her recovery needs and how those needs can evolve with time. 

Daniel and Jenna talk about how they incorporated drinking into their lives while fulfilling their responsibilities as professionals, spouses, parents, and friends. They discuss "drunk math" and how they justified their alcoholic behaviors, even when not drinking. 

Jenna and Daniel discuss the thought of staying sober "forever" and how that seems unattainable in early sobriety. They discuss taking sober life as it comes, one challenge at a time, while making adjustments to daily life. They also discuss how they've used community and social media as part of their sober toolbox. 

Daniel and Jenna report back after both being on vacation for the last week. They talk about their past vacation experiences in active addiction, and discuss the relief associated with being worry-free when it comes to the negotiations and calculations. 

Daniel and Jenna talk about people's true intentions when getting sober and using recovery as an "out" in certain situations. They discuss the importance of being careful to protect ones own recovery program while also trying to help someone in need.