Posttraumatic Revelations with Afrah Caraballo

In every winter there are the ingredients for spring. No matter how dark, cold, and hard the winter may be, spring always comes. The same is possible for our mental and emotional winters. In every traumatic event, there are the ingredients for love, hope, and healing. All of nature moves toward the light, toward growth, toward its natural expansion. From acorn to the mighty oak tree, and from mustard seed to the magnificent mustard tree, EVERY living thing has the ability to surrender, break open, and stretch into its next best self. Without any effort on our part, we grow from embryo to adult, but we can become emotionally and cognitively frozen in the winters of our traumas, unless we allow ourselves to move toward the light of spring and healing. 

When we appreciate, validate, and manage our emotions we can enjoy a higher quality of life, that provides flexibility, safety, and freedom. Much like our money, our emotions must be managed intentionally, or we can end up emotionally bankrupt. Turn posttraumatic stress disorder into posttraumatic stress order by appreciating, validating, and managing sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, rage, and despair.  Every emotion is valid and needs our time, attention, and permission to feel and heal. Every emotion deserves to be acknowledged and validated.

Our lives are made up of highs and lows, success and failure-- peaks and valleys. And while it's easy to celebrate the peaks, and condemn the valleys, there is so much value in the valleys. There is wisdom, strength, grace, and the seeds for new beginnings in the valley. All of life starts in the darkness. Just as seeds in all of nature do, we must allow ourselves the time and permission to soften and grow into the next best versions of ourselves. We have everything we need to heal from our traumas; but we must give ourselves permission to do it. 

When we experience trauma, our bodies naturally, and automatically, release high levels of chemicals to help us stabilize and survive. These hormonal chemicals, like adrenaline, cortisol, and anandamide are some of the most addictive substances on the planet. Posttraumatic pain, and suffering, can be so overwhelming that our bodies can become chemically dependent on the high levels of stress hormones to feel safe. The experience of trauma rewires our brains, and bodies, causing confusion, and it can distort our perceptions of pain/pleasure, danger/safety, right/wrong, or healthy/risky. Damage caused by some traumatic experiences can cause lasting mental, emotional, and eventually physical, disorders. Prolonged exposure to stress hormones is associated with countless diseases.

When we are in a state of posttraumatic anxiety, depression distress, the sound of laughter, happiness, or pleasure can feel offensive. Trauma can steal our happiness and threaten our joy. When we are grieving loss, the pleasantries of friends and loved ones who want to make us laugh, smile or celebrate can feel irritating, infuriating, and sometimes painful. In an attempt to feel safe, we avoid, repel, and reject people, acts, and events that might bring us happiness for fear of losing them again. 

The concept of peace is a tricky one. Like trauma, peace is subjective, (the absence of war, the presence of justice, the feeling of calm tranquil freedom, the safety of prison), the meaning of peace can vary depending on your trauma history and your place, and space, in the world.  The avoidance of, resistance to, or aversion to peace, quiet, calm, unrestrictive environments maybe indications of peace allergies. If you find yourself feeling irritated, agitated, or otherwise uncomfortable with sitting still in quiet places that most people would describe as peaceful, you may have peace allergies. 

When you have a history of trauma, abuse, or neglect (intentional or unintentional), love can feel threatening, and like someone who is allergic to fruit or nuts, your body can overreact, in negative ways, to positive attention associated with love, concern, desire, or warm affection. Unhealed trauma can cause us to avoid, delay, and or destroy potentially healthy, nurturing relationships, but small consistent self-care behaviors can lead to an internal sense of safety and healing. 

The willingness to surrender to the wisdom of winter can be the difference between healing and despair. There are gifts in the darkness of winter; gifts that insure us the possibility of a healing, abundant, and prosperous spring. In the darkness of winter are the gifts of rest, rejuvenation, transformation, and the never-ending light that lives in everyone of us. If we give ourselves permission to surrender and winter wisely, we can discover new ways to honor the losses that darken our hearts and minds. We can tap into our internal light and find our way out of the darkness, inviting others to do the same.

We all have trauma, and we all have reasons for delaying, denying, and ignoring the need for posttraumatic healing. Maybe healing is too scary or too dangerous right now. Maybe you're still living with the source of trauma, or maybe you're dependent on people who are not interested in your recovery, and are more vested in you staying 'the problem.' If it's not safe to start healing, what needs to happen to make it safe? What steps can you take toward your healing safely?

Recognizing that staying in a dangerous, abusive, and oppressive situation can be a matter of survival. Often moving toward healing and freedom is dangerous. When we give ourselves permission to think about, imagine, or contemplate healing something inside of us changes on a cellular level. With permission to heal, we allow new thoughts, new ideas, and new opportunities start to immerge. So without judgement, guilt, and shame, I invite you to notice and allow movement toward freedom and healing on your terms and at your pace.