Mailbag: Friends-first, Weddings, & Therapy

The first Love Factually mailbag episode! Eli and Paul answer your questions about friends-first relationships, wedding stress, and memory erasure. Plus, we reopen the debate: When do relationships benefit from therapy, and why? See the graph of friends-first relationships

What happens when we view marriage in terms of winning and losing? How does divorce affect children? What are the consequences of taking a relationship for granted? Paul and Eli sift through the wreckage in Marriage Story, Noah Baumbach’s lacerating, multiple-Oscar-nominated masterpiece starring Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

Can interactions with strangers fulfill our need to belong? Does ironic detachment mask attachment insecurity? Should we try to change ourselves into somebody else’s ideal partner? Paul and Eli immerse themselves, again and again, in Groundhog Day, the timeless philosophical redemption tale starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

In this special crossover episode of the Dateable podcast, Paul and Eli chat with hosts Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu about how people should - and shouldn't - apply lessons from the movies to their dating lives.  

Is striving to avoid mistakes a good romantic strategy? Can couples who are mismatched on hotness get together? Does relationship success require that you be a desirable person? Paul and Eli dust off Hitch, the 2005 rom-com vehicle for Will Smith and Eva Mendes, in search of answers. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

How does it feel to confront hard relationship choices? How can we truly listen to one another? What counts as infidelity? Paul and Eli unpack Before Sunset—the sequel to Before Sunrise—which features Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Céline (Julie Delpy) unexpectedly reunited in Paris, confronting the past and changing the future. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

How can people navigate the “friendzone”? Do men need romantic relationships more than women do? Does confusion about one’s identity undermine relationships? Paul and Eli search for answers in the 2023 film Barbie, Greta Gerwig’s feminist fantasia featuring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

Why is it so important to be able to celebrate with someone? Is parenting sexy? What are the challenges of being in a relationship when you don’t know who you are? Paul and Eli search for answers in the 1996 film Jerry Maguire, Cameron Crowe’s endlessly quotable rom-com, featuring acclaimed performances from Renée Zellweger, Tom Cruise, and Cuba Gooding Jr. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

In this special crossover episode of The Happiness Lab podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Laurie Santos about lessons learned from fact-checking rom-coms. 

What are the benefits of optimism? How do people transfer attachments from parents to romantic partners? What exactly counts as stalking? Paul and Eli team up with Laurie Santos (Yale professor and host of The Happiness Lab podcast) to dive into the nice-guy manifesto Say Anything, starring (sigh) John Cusack and Ione Skye. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil