Numerical Order in the Court

Patty loves the X-MEN. A lot. His mom, Cordelia, says that Patty turns every conversation into an X-MEN “lore dump.” She wants him to scale back on the X-MEN chat. But he wants to be understood! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? We did it. We made a T-shirt in honor of Patty's stunning poem, "The sky is blue / the grass is green / I love X-MEN / and I'm gay." With gorgeous art by Sonny Ross, this shirt is available for a limited time! You have until April 3 to get this tee for yourself or the queer, Marvel-loving person in your life! Get it now at MaxFunStore.com! Thanks to reddit user u/Admirable_Cook_5193 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Have a dispute that you can’t settle? About Sloppy Joes or any other sandwiches? No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: maximumfun.org/jjho Follow Judge John Hodgman on: YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Instagram: @judgejohnhodgman TikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Bluesky: @judgejohnhodgman Reddit: r/maximumfun Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

If you sent us a case about Pokémon Go in 2016, stay in line! You know the saying, "Justice delayed is justice denied." We attempt to clear the docket of some of our oldest, unanswered disputes. Should you go to a second restaurant for a separate dessert? Is it okay to want to be buried in a Fiat? Is teaching your children a secret family language fun or annoying? And, of course: should your girlfriend be ordered to come out and play Pokémon Go? If you spot yourself in these queries, PLEASE let us know how they played out, and come with us back…to the future! Have a dispute that you can’t settle? No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: maximumfun.org/jjho Follow Judge John Hodgman on: YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Instagram: @judgejohnhodgman TikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Bluesky: @judgejohnhodgman Reddit: r/maximumfun Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething.   Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Mike brings the case against his coworker Brooke. Brooke wants to play baseball with her colleagues in a casual, recreational setting. She would love Mike to be part of this group. But he won’t step foot on the field unless it’s a softball field. Brooke says baseball and softball are essentially the same game! Just play ball! But, Mike strongly disagrees.  For Mike's full, unedited presentation, click here. BROOKLYN! See you this weekend at the Bell House for NIGHT COURT! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7 Thanks to reddit user u/banjo_solo for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Follow Judge John Hodgman on: YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Instagram: @judgejohnhodgman TikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Bluesky: @judgejohnhodgman Reddit: r/maximumfun Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

How late is too late to do household projects like hanging a sheet of drywall? The J Squad discusses this and much more in this month's Members Only Mailbag episode. Never listened to our mailbag episodes? Here's what they sound like. For the full episode, check out the members-only bonus content feed! Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content. Thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Andy brings the case against his fiancé Kevin, aka World Famous Drag Queen Monét X Change. Andy says he met Monét outside of RuPaul's DragCon in New York City back in 2018. Andy was enchanted. Their first date didn’t happen for another few years. But for Andy, this meeting is a crucial part of their love story. The problem? Monét says that it NEVER HAPPENED. Who's right? BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7 Thanks to reddit user u/IronyMaiden_ for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Follow Judge John Hodgman on: YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Instagram: @judgejohnhodgman TikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpod Bluesky: @judgejohnhodgman Reddit: r/maximumfun Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Michele brings the case against her husband, Nate. Michele and Nate are living the childfree dream: three cats, two dogs, and a Subaru Baja. They have it all. But Michele wants more pets! Nate has two cars and a motorcycle. Michele says that if they are embracing vehicle maximalism, it’s only fair to embrace pet maximalism. Nate says they have enough pets for now. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae!BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Thanks to reddit user u/Dinosaur1972 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Follow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfunPlease consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Stephanie wants Brandon to admit that she’s lived in 11 states, damnit, and not deny her lived experience! Brandon counters with the fact that Japan isn’t a state (valid) and that living in a state for college…doesn’t count? Who's right? Who's wrong?BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Thanks to reddit user u/mkbecker for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Follow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfunPlease consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

What a time we had at SF Sketchfest! In Swift Justice, we have cases about Breathe Right Nasal Strips (not sponsored!), pie recipes, and the Court's first ever Trial By Teppanyaki! Then in Mega Justice we say, LET THEM EAT CASE. Beth and Jim have a large, strange, item in their guest room. It was an extra curricular project Jim and their daughter, Casey, made over a decade ago. He loves it. But Beth says it's time to let it go! BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Thanks to reddit user u/BrianSebby for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Follow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfunPlease consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

This week, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn tackle a dispute about Fantasy Football! Litigants (and spouses) Kristen and Tom play in the same Fantasy Football league and Tom has an issue with their last round of drafts. Kristen wanted to draft Buffalo Bills running back James Cook, but couldn’t because of their league rules, so she asked husband Tom to draft him under the condition that Tom would trade him to her at a later date. The trade happened, and Kristen won their league - so why is Tom the one bringing the case before the court? While The Big Game is coming up, we are all still way too focused on the fictional world of hockey in HEATED RIVALRY. Are you also still at the cottage? How many burgers is too many for 2 people? Do you have a beef with hockey because there's not enough YEARNING? Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Don’t forget the most romantic gift you could give your partner: A Fake Internet Court Summons! No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: https://maximumfun.org/jjhoBROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Thanks to reddit users u/wilcoxchatham and u/heyyou11 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Follow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfun  Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

We’ve got some leftovers from the holidays. Let’s pull them out of the fridge and answer them once and for all! Is a French dip REALLY a dip? How early is too early to put up your Christmas tree? How long can you drink eggnog or wear your holiday boxers before your partner falls out of love with you? And FINALLY: are zombies the scariest monsters because they’re REAL? All this - plus an ad for Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific! Shampoo - and more, on today’s HOLIDAY LEFTOVERS edition of Judge John Hodgman!BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Have a question that you can’t settle? No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: https://maximumfun.org/jjhoFollow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfunPlease consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething.  Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!