464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75) In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable. X-PLAINED: A codename that deviates from common patterns The story so far Uncanny X-Men #376 Cable #75 X-Men #96 Fiz the Skrull (again) The Twelve Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise The Living Monolith (more) (again) That one font Time-travel logic Cable vs. eyes Fabian Cortez (more) (again) A trap Why the Twelve are the Twelve The evolution of Cable NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

In which St. Croix History reminds us of a Martian with a big butt; Penance’s escape is ambiguous; Avengers Academy Infinity Comic successfully reinvents Emplate; you should not learn to flirt from Vanilla Ice; Jubilee fires two fireworks blasts into the air whilst going aaahhh; and we go in through the ears. X-PLAINED: Apocalypse’s influence The Big House (about which we are confused) Generation X #58 Cartier and/or Louis St. Croix Our college’s Dean, naked jogger Things that are sharp in the woods HUMP Penance (Hollow) Emplate, spoiled teenager Generation X Annual 1999 Epistolary fonts Jubilee’s pre-X past Round Wolverine Hunter Brawn (again, sigh) Recognizing random dudes from pictures Dad Things and Dad Pipes Juggernaut and Black Tom as a relationship model Jubilee, competent veteran A murder mystery Legault, cosplaying bodyguard Taking notes on comics Magneto’s telepathy-blocking (or not) helmet NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine's dead! And Wolverine's back! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

In which Lenore Zann joins us to talk Rogue, Canadian politics, and her upcoming memoir!

In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.