254: A Red Velvet Rope Policy

Illuminating Your Path: The Decision Switch in Action Making decisions is essential for moving forward in life and creating change. In the podcast episode, Tonya Leigh emphasizes the importance of making decisions to break free from feeling stuck and to propel oneself towards desired outcomes. She discusses how indecision can keep individuals in a state of paralysis, preventing them from progressing in life. She also highlights that decisions, whether big or small, play a crucial role in shaping the trajectory of one's life and influencing the overall experience. This episode underscores the transformative power of making decisions and highlights how each choice, no matter how small, can have a significant impact on one's life journey. By embracing the decision-making process and being willing to step into the unknown, individuals can break free from stagnation, create positive change, and ultimately shape a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Talking Points: 00:42 - The Decision Switch Concept 02:22 - Reasons for Decision Paralysis 04:38 - Overthinking and Perfectionism in Decisions 05:45 - External Pressures Impacting Decisions 07:53 - Worry and Business 08:15 - Breaking Connections with Old Self 09:41 - Team Dynamics and Decision Confidence 11:59 - Stop Self-Criticism 14:38 - Personal Decision to Build a House 17:50 - Clarity After Making Decisions 18:12 - Relationship Decisions: Stay or Go 19:05 - Comfort in Indecision 19:37 - Removing Right or Wrong from Decisions 23:00 - Investing in Personal Growth Quotes: "People fear losing things more than they get excited about gaining things." "I literally said out loud, I am no longer available to worry about my business. It is not even an option." "What is the decision switch that you need to make in your life right now?" "It was like, oh, now I am a homeowner. Now I am adulting officially. And it was the best feeling." "Either way, just switch the light on. That's what decisions do. They turn the light on so you can see what your next steps are." "There is no right or wrong decisions that we will make from a place of wanting the best for ourselves." "It is done. Now, can you learn something from it? 100%." Useful Resources: Join The School of Self-Image Now:  https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE Download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website: https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaLeighOfficial  

From Stuck to Unstoppable: Strategies for Personal Breakthroughs To overcome feeling stuck, it is crucial to provide your brain with clarity and direction. In this podcast episode, Tonya Leigh emphasizes the importance of giving clear instructions and goals to your brain. She shares that when she felt stuck while recording the episode, it was because she lacked the direction and clarity needed to move forward. Tonya also stresses the significance of setting extraordinary goals to combat feeling stuck. Many individuals struggle with this because they have not determined what they truly want. By establishing clear and specific goals, individuals can give their brains a sense of purpose and direction, enabling them to progress and break free from feeling stuck.  Tonya highlights how perfectionism can hinder progress and steal time. By letting go of the need to be perfect and focusing on taking action, individuals can overcome the fear of imperfection, make decisions, and move forward in their personal and professional lives. Join Tonya as she delves into why we get stuck and how to move forward with purpose and intention. Talking Points: 01:24 - Clarity and Direction for Getting Unstuck 02:18 - Choosing an Extraordinary Goal 03:42 - Discomfort of Change  07:21 - Acceptance and Authenticity 08:03 - The Trap of Perfectionism 09:07 - Embracing Where You Are 10:00 - The Analogy of Water Skiing 11:46 - Letting Go of the Rope 13:22 - Creating Desired Feelings 14:48 - Moving Towards Desired Emotions Quotes: "You don't know what you're trying to create. And the reason why the majority of you don't know is because you're afraid of the answer." "Perfectionism will not only steal your time, it will steal your life." "But if I've learned anything, the world doesn't want the perfect version of you. They want the real you." "The way to get unstuck is to let go of the rope. Let go for a minute and just relax." "Done is better than perfect" Useful Resources: Join The School of Self-Image Now:  https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE Download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website: https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaLeighOfficial    

How Your Environment Shapes Your Self-Image Let's delve into the psychology of space and how our environments can shape our self-image. Tonya shares personal experiences of how different homes she has lived in reflect her inner world and how she uses her spaces to evolve her own self-image. She discusses the importance of using our spaces intentionally to change how we feel and see ourselves. By making small changes in our homes, we can align our spaces with who we want to become. She also emphasizes the power of using our spaces as tools for personal growth and transformation. Overall, the episode highlights the significance of our environments in influencing our self-image and provides practical tips for using our spaces to support our personal development journey. Talking Points: 00:00:00 - Introduction to the Psychology of Space 00:05:30 - Reflecting on the Story of Different Homes 00:10:38 - Personal Style and Home Decor Preferences 00:15:04 - Using Spaces to Change Self-Image 00:18:39 - Bridging the Gap Between Current Space and Desired Self-Image 00:22:17 - Blooming in Your Current Space Quotes: "Our environments are shaping us and we shape our environments." "Our homes are more than just physical spaces. They are literally mirrors that reflect our inner world." "Red is very fiery, very passionate. And let me tell you, that was me. And not in a good way." "If you want to see yourself as a woman who is fit and healthy, imagine what her kitchen looks like. Imagine what her pantry looks like." "I'm going to clean this up and I'm going to organize it. And I'm going to keep it that way to send the message to my brain of this is who I am." Useful Resources: Join The School of Self-Image Now:  https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE Download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website: https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaLeighOfficial    

From Negative to Neiman: Upgrading Your Thought Wardrobe To enhance your life and mindset, it is essential to intentionally select and upgrade your thoughts to higher quality ones. In a podcast episode, Tonya Leigh stresses the significance of being mindful of the thoughts we entertain daily. She classifies thoughts into different levels, ranging from "Goodwill thoughts" inherited from past experiences to "Neiman Marcus thoughts" that are of superior quality and more empowering. Tonya urges the audience to evaluate their current thought patterns and beliefs, highlighting that negative or outdated thoughts can hinder individuals and impact their overall well-being. By deliberately choosing thoughts that align with their values, dreams, and desires, individuals can cultivate a more positive and empowering mindset. Join Tonya as she takes you thorugh her thought clloset and inspire listeners to consciously select empowering beliefs and shed outdated or limiting ones to cultivate a more positive, resilient, and fulfilling mindset. Talking Points: 03:02 Personal style transformation. 05:04 Choosing thoughts intentionally. 10:35 Upgrading your thoughts. 16:15 Couture thoughts. 20:45 Thoughts about myself. 22:11 Embracing Your Uniqueness. 29:44 Thoughts about money. 32:56 Money mindset transformation. 38:51 Life as a game. 42:59 Feeling bad cannot stop magic. 45:09 Thoughts on love and relationships. 48:46 The Royal Treatment. Quotes: "Girl, I am feeling like yesterday's fries." "I'm going to bloom where I'm planted. I'm going to really show up in this position, in this role, and I'm going to give it my all because it matters." "Money is fun, which is in my thought closet. And money doesn't solve the problems that people are trying to use money to solve the problem for." "I love believing that failure is what dreams are built upon." "It was a thought that I decided to return, and I upgraded for a better thought." Useful Resources: The Royal Treatment Workshop: https://schoolofselfimage.com/ROYAL Join the membership: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE Download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website: https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaLeighOfficial  

Unveiling Your Inner Queen: The Power of Self-Respect and Self-Care Giving yourself a royal treatment involves creating a personalized plan for self-care and self-respect. In this School of Self-Image episode, host, and master Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh emphasizes the importance of treating oneself like royalty and prioritizing self-care. She shares the story of a client named Sarah who transformed her life by implementing a royal treatment plan tailored to her needs. This plan included setting boundaries at work, taking lunch breaks, exercising, and engaging in hobbies she enjoyed. The concept of a royal treatment goes beyond superficial indulgences like spa days and manicures. It is about connecting with one's true nature, listening to internal cues, and establishing a strong inner kingdom. By tuning into one's body and soul, individuals can determine what they need to feel their best and align with their natural rhythm. This process involves building a strong relationship with oneself based on love, respect, and self-worth. Tune in to learn why every woman needs to prioritize herself and treat herself like royalty. Talking Points: 00:00:00 - Introduction to the Royal Treatment 00:05:30 - The Consequences of Self-Neglect 00:10:16 - Overcoming Excuses for Self-Care 00:13:05 - Increased Confidence through Self-Care 00:17:32 - Attractiveness and Energy 00:21:31 - Unveiling Your True Nature 00:24:34 - Building a Strong Inner Kingdom 00:26:19 - Invitation to the Royal Treatment Workshop Quotes: "When are you going to start treating yourself like a queen?" "Confidence is something that you create with your thoughts, with your mind. It is a belief in your abilities." "I've done those things, and it creates this deep trust in myself. This feeling of like, girl, I've got you." "Would you rather attract rusty old nails or shiny gold coins? I'm guessing your answer is shiny gold coins." "It is going to have the most beautiful cascading effect into every area of your life." Useful Resources:     The Royal Treatment Workshop:  https://schoolofselfimage.com/ROYAL     Join Now!  https://schoolofselfimage.com/join     FREE Download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/     Sign up for the  Weekly  Edit!  http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit   Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:     Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com     Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh       Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial     TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaLeighOfficial  

Embracing 'No': The Key to Living a Life Aligned with Your Values Saying no is a powerful tool for setting boundaries and taking back control of your life. In the podcast episode, Master Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh emphasizes the importance of establishing boundaries to prioritize your well-being and align with your values and goals. Here are some key points to consider when it comes to setting boundaries through saying no: Prioritizing Your Well-being: By saying no to commitments or requests that do not serve you, you are prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Empowering Yourself: Saying no is a way of empowering yourself and demonstrating self-respect.  Taking Control of Your Life: Without boundaries, you may feel like you are being run over by the demands and expectations of others.  Living in Alignment: Setting boundaries through saying no allows you to live in alignment with your decisions, goals, and values.  Building Self-Image: Saying no can positively impact your self-image and self-esteem.  Saying no is not just about declining requests; it is a powerful act of self-care and self-empowerment. By setting boundaries through saying no, you can take control of your life, prioritize your well-being, and live in alignment with your values and goals. Join Tonya as she delves into the power of saying no, inspired by quotes from Steve Jobs and Paulo Coelho, and explores the importance of listening to our gut feelings and setting boundaries by saying no when necessary to avoid feeling overwhelmed or drained.   ____________________________________________________________________________ Episode Details: 00:01:25 - Embracing Joyful Yeses 00:01:57 - Mastering the Art of Saying No 00:03:11 - Free Guide to Saying No 00:04:14 - Societal Pressures and FOMO 00:05:08 - The Consequences of Yes 00:06:33 - The Jar Metaphor 00:08:10 - Identity and Priorities 00:12:36 - The Upside of Saying No 00:15:16 - The Clarity of Prioritizing Yes 00:18:30 - Elegance and Quality Over Quantity 00:23:53 - The Pleasure of Saying No 00:25:28 - The Invitation to Say No   Quotes: "Innovation is saying no to a thousand things." "No is my new favorite word." "When you say yes to everything, you live someone else's life." "I prioritize my wellbeing to demonstrate that I am worthy and I am confident in who I am." "The power of no lies in saying no to the junk, to the low quality." "I lived a large part of my life lying to everybody. Not on purpose, but to me, when you say yes to something that you don't really want to do, it's like you're lying." "The power of no after years of being afraid of it, I can tell you it's one of the best two-letter words in my vocabulary." Useful Resources: The Guide to Saying No:  https://schoolofselfimage.com/power Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/ FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh

The Power of Self-Appreciation: 5 Steps to Delight in You Inspired by a quote from Anais Nin, Tonya Leigh reflects on the concept she has adopted that is centered on delighting in oneself.  Tonya shares her experience of a delightful day spent alone and discusses the importance of analyzing and journaling about such days to create more moments of joy. She offers five ways to delight in oneself, encouraging listeners to take pleasure and satisfaction in who they are. By prioritizing self-care, nurturing self-relationship, and appreciating one's own value, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of joy, fulfillment, and self-love. These practices not only benefit personal well-being but also have a positive impact on external relationships, work, and overall quality of life. Embracing these aspects can lead to a more fulfilling and delightful existence, where individuals can truly thrive and experience the fullness of life. ____________________________________________________________________________ Episode Details: 00:49 Delighting in yourself 06:52 Prioritize self-care 09:35 Making time for joyful activities 15:31 Being your own best friend 20:14 Quality alone time 21:51 Cultivating a deeper relationship with yourself Quotes:  "My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace." “A joyful woman is a magnet for her desires. Energy is always looking for its equal match. Delighting is an energy. It is a vibration that you put out into the world.” "You are the longest commitment you will ever have in your life. Make the choice to lovingly commit to yourself."  "What if you just decided you're never going to beat yourself up again? Instead, you're going to be your own best friend, your greatest cheerleader." "You are worth that time. You are valuable enough to delight in yourself." "There's nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. But your approach probably is." Useful Resources: Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/ FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh

Ditching Apologies: Cultivating Self-Love and Confidence Over-apologizing can become such a habit we don't even realize we are repeating the behavior.  School of Self-Image host Tonya Leigh discusses the tendency for women to over-apologize and the impact it can have on their self-esteem and confidence. She explores why women tend to over-apologize, including societal expectations and the desire to please others. Tonya emphasizes the importance of recognizing when apologies are unnecessary and offers strategies for breaking the habit, such as replacing "I'm sorry" with "thank you" and focusing on solutions instead of apologies. She encourages women to take ownership of their space, needs, and voice without feeling the need to apologize constantly. Tune in to discover how over-apologizing can impact your daily life and learn how to break free from this ingrained behavior. Episode Details: 00:51 Over-apologizing in daily life 05:32 Apologizing for things beyond control 10:41 Recognizing over-apologizing habits 13:44 Swapping "sorry" for "thank you" 17:52 Refusing to apologize for being you Quotes: "I'm so sorry I'm crying. I'm like, why are you apologizing for feeling your human emotions? We should never apologize for having emotions." "When you apologize for things that aren't your fault, you're basically saying, I'm sorry for having needs. I'm sorry for taking up space. I'm sorry for needing support." "You have valuable thoughts and ideas to share. You are deserving of taking up space. You are worthy of support and love." "I am all for taking responsibility when it's my responsibility. But I was taking on the world's responsibility when I was over-apologizing." "The last suggestion I can offer you is to begin to ask questions with confidence instead of apologizing because sometimes, sorry just becomes a crutch to get someone's attention." Useful resources: Useful Resources: Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/ FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh  

Unlocking the Lessons of Aging: Embracing Your Journey with Gratitude Embracing your age with joy, purpose, and gratitude at every stage of life is a powerful mindset shift that can lead to a more fulfilling and enriching experience. In the podcast episode, Tonya Leigh discusses the importance of loving your age, regardless of where you are in life. She emphasizes the need to appreciate the present moment and find beauty in every stage of life. One key point highlighted is the significance of reframing aging from being seen as a burden to being viewed as a blessing. Aging is not a disease but a privilege, offering opportunities for growth, learning, and new experiences. By shifting our perspective on aging, we can approach each stage of life with a sense of gratitude and excitement for what it has to offer. Join  Tonya as she dives into breaking free from societal aging expectations and embracing your unique identity at every age, so  you can cultivate a sense of empowerment and self-expression. ____________________________________________________________________________ Episode Details: 00:39 Loving Your Age 08:27 Reframing aging as a blessing. 12:26 Intergenerational friendships. 15:18 Creating age loving environments. 19:10 Dressing for desired energy. 25:38 Choosing Positive Aging Narratives. 27:25 Embracing new experiences. 31:37 Overcoming people pleasing and approval. Quotes: "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." "I'm not going to waste time wishing I was 20 again, because I'll never be 20 again." "Aging is not a disease. It is a privilege, a privilege truly of a lifetime." "Push against what you've been told older folks can supposedly do or can't do. I mean, who decided that?" "I love what Iris Eiffel says. She's like, style has no age. It's an attitude, not age." "I want to chase less and enjoy more." "I used to think happiness was a fairy tale, forever just out of reach."   Useful Resources: Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/ FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh

Raising the Bar: How to Set Higher Standards for Self-Love What is your self-love standard? This week Tonya Leigh discusses the importance of self-love standards and how they can impact our lives. Self-love is not just about fluffy feelings, but about setting expectations for how we treat ourselves. So, how do we raise our self-love standards? By examining how we talk to ourselves, how we treat our bodies, and how we expect to be treated by others. Tonya shares personal experiences and examples to illustrate the power of self-love standards and how this manifests in our self-image. Tonya encourages listeners to align their standards with their future self-image and create a life that reflects their highest potential. Episode Details: 03:24 The power of self-talk 07:32 Raise the standard of self-love 09:19 Self-love and body image 14:49 Alignment and synergy 17:09 Reevaluate current standards 21:35 Elevating your self-image Quotes: "I am so proud of you for trying. I am so proud of you for putting yourself out there. You are smart. You are kind. You are beautiful. You have what it takes. Go get it, girl." "As someone who used to be so mean to the reflection in the mirror, I just refused to do that anymore because nothing good came out of it. It just made me feel terrible, which then led me to take terrible actions that just kept me perpetuating terrible results, truly." "You will always prove to yourself how you see yourself." "If you're constantly comparing. to either past versions of yourself or other people, you will not see your own." "If you don't love yourself, madly, ridiculously, unapologetically, this world will run all over you." "It is time for you to create your own 'powerfully ever after'." Useful Resources: Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/  FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/ Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh: Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh