#395 - A Heavy Weft, A Talented Sheep Dog and 31 Minutes with a Nun

With Speakergate gone (we hope) in the blink of a manually adjustable eye it’s time for John to turn to one of his other favourite pastimes: cheekiness. Trying to get plugs past Producer Dave without him noticing, by increasingly layered and convoluted means? Count that checked and duly intervened on. Campaigning for the return of erotic movies? Tick, oh he's a cheeky scamp that one. And that saucy subject is one he seems to know more about than he perhaps should.In other goings on there’s a logically watertight game which causes the usual ructions from the usual parties, and despite the lack of 35 minutes on sound systems there is a brutal time consuming neg from a listener that really derails the vibe.If you’d like to trash Elis and John as well then it’s [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Nobody’s making audio like this. Nobody approaching such breadth. One episode it’s half an hour discussing home audio solutions and then the next the wheels are set in motion to achieve the pilot of Britain’s Sexiest Tattoo.The rumours are that we’ve already hit five submissions. Could ‘a breast on a knee’ make the shortlist? And the online promo strategy isn’t torpedoed as you can get away with it on socials because 'it’s art'.And on top of that there’s a couple of majestic Mad Dads, some clownery, blue biros and special flake dust. Just imagine if you could make it into a paste. The mind boggles.If you have access to cereal dust then please get in contact on [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

400 not out. But plough on past Brian Lara we will. And welcome new listeners for 2025. The BBC's wide reaching podcast ad campaign has no doubt brought you here. You are likely puzzled now that you're here, because what follows today is a man spending around 35 minutes ranting about speakers and the technicalities of streaming platforms, before another 35 of a man talking about knowing people in Wales.It’s all completely approachable stuff. Debates have rarely been more heated as John has a massive bee in his big old billy bonnet about the adjustability and accessibility of modern tech. He’s been on the forums. Dave, Elis and likely most of the audience meanwhile just don’t get his problem. It’s not The Dance but has similar levels of intensity.And in an episode of intense chats Dave finally snaps as he’s pushed to his limits by criticism following the sun lounger controversy. But fear not, because it's an impact moment. Thus despite the three match ban there ends up being three times the Connection Content as Elis has to get his head in the game.If you want to get in touch with the show then it’s [email protected] on the old email, and 07974 293 022 on the new WhatsApp.

The boys are kicking off 2025 with contrasting vibes: Johnny JR is feeling grateful, and the team think of 11 (slightly unusual) reasons for him to be cheerful (think white teeth, think flat ears). Poor Elis on the other hand is starting the New Year with the sniffles, so regales us of his Christmas antics down the line.And is it a case of new year new pod? Will this chance of renewal be grasped by our podcasting heroes? Will this be the Great Reset 2.0? We’ll let you decide, but do bear in mind there are a lot of emails about guffs, there’s an argument about the Cymru Connection, and John explains how he spent Christmas Day in a Premier Inn.If one of your New Year’s resolutions is to send in more top quality correspondence to one of your favourite podcasts, then you’re in luck! We will happily assist in achieving your goal. Just send any old nonsense to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022, and your resolution will be complete.

Things that can be reset: timers, bones, electronic devices. Other things that can be reset: bantercasts featuring the BBC’s youngest and most relevant broadcasters. For this year, Messrs Elis James and John Robins hit the big reset button, and changed to a groundbreaking linear podcast-first broadcast-second podcast way of broadcasting, something that most had previously thought impossible.After John had introduced the show in cod-Shakespearean describing 5 Live’s annual social, there were flickers of hope. When Tony Blackburn stopped by ostensibly to read from his masterwork Poptastic!, but ended up laying into Dave’s latest jingle, there were tremors of belief. And when Elis explained how John was once sacked for sadness from Deal or No Deal, the writing was on the wall; this new way of broadcasting was working. The reset was complete. So sit back and bask in the best bits of the Elis James and John Robins podcast since The Great Reset. And we’ll be back with regular programming on Friday.Your top notch correspondence has been one of the best parts of the show, so keep on sending it in to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

It’s a game of 3 halves as a trifecta of things looms large over today’s episode: Paul McCartney, a sun lounger, and a humdinger of a Made Up Game. Also looming large from the sidelines: a pigeon and some dog mess. All of the above contribute to a wild rollercoaster for our Elis. One moment he’s experiencing McCartney bliss, the next he’s in the dumpiest of dumps for reasons that will become clear. Luckily John is on hand to cheer him up/make things worse. Check back here for a best of The Great Reset episode on New Year’s Eve, and we’ll see you in 2025! 

Keep sending your correspondence in to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

'Elis and John Smash Up A Bus Stop'. 'The UK’s Biggest Dog'. 'Elis and John’s Big Supper'. Just a flavour of how unstoppable the content ideas train is today. There’s no ‘out of office’ here. Not even Keanu Reeves in Speed 3: Content Never Sleeps could stop this festive content locomotive.For alongside such a fertile ideas flow, Father Christmas has also come early, in the shape of Elis bearing gifts. The South Wales Santa leaves his traditional presents of yoghurt and a 4 month late gift for John. Meanwhile Producer Dave’s going to *bear in mind* marathon advice from Eliud Kipchoge. But his dad is doing a good coaching job so he might ignore it. Plus there’s an intriguing mad dad that whets the tastebuds for more details.To get in touch then why not drop [email protected] a line on email. And if going into 2025 you want to try out a hot new communication method then we’ve heard WhatsApp’s all the rage. 07974 293 022 is the show number for that.

Fresh from their Christmas Cracker Elis and John are in a sense celebrating Boxing Day, but in another sense they’re creating linear/circular content that can be easily digested at any point this Christmas/not at Christmas at all. In short, it’s the most confusing time of the year!But what we can guarantee there isn’t confusion about is the quality of the #content. Both Elis and John come armed with anecdotes - one involving a maps-based misjudgement, the other involving weft - ministerial banter is further discussed, and there’s a welcome return for everyone’s favourite topic: guffs.Whenever you’re listening to this, be sure to send your correspondence to the usual place: it’s [email protected] in the email department, and 07974 293 022 in the WhatsApp realm.

“Mmmh yeah Christmastime.” In a linear sense it’s Christmas Day. In a circular sense it’s some time between 13th and 25th December. Ho! Ho! Ho!What better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker? Oh and we have festive fun. Elis and John write a Christmas song which is equal parts downbeat and administration heavy, whilst it’s the most madderful time of the year for fathers.We’ve also got a very secret guest that Producer Dave reveals within the first 15 minutes and there’s a festive advert to rival Jean Louis that becomes far more affecting than the initially comedic idea. Whether your listening in a linear (25/12), circular (13/12 to 13/12) or any point afterwards. Merry Christmas!If you’ve got anything to send to the Elis and John North Pole then send it to [email protected], or 07974 293 022 via Christmastime’s preferred method of modern communication (WhatsApp).

This is sierras of the papas broadcasting, and news just in: we’re all out of papas!John’s losing his voice because of doing an extraordinary impression of an Australian in a mystical Bureau de Change for some BBC Sounds bonus content, but we plough on! And in a way, this is the definition of ‘talent’, which we discover that Tim Davie is keen to define.Elsewhere, there’s a classic Made Up Game, Elis (Patient Father and Nice Friend) James does some keepy uppies and Dave engages in a stag where he’s actually early for Match of The Day.The Bureau has been mentioned here already, but if you’re missing out, then you’re missing out on bonus content described by listener Kate as “Perhaps the funniest but most bizarre 15 minutes of radio I’ve listened to in 57 years.” And where can you get it? BBC Sounds of course, with episodes titled ‘Sounds Bites’ on our feed.And if you’re not on it then get on it: [email protected]. Or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp. ‘It’ clearly being email.