S4: EP 5 How To Love w/Gabrielle Barnes

Ten years ago today, June 12, 2013, I landed at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris with a spousal visa in hand, a diamond ring on my left ring finger, and a husband waiting for me at the arrivals section. I thought I had it all.  Fast forward ten years, June 12, 2023, and my life looks very different. It doesn't resemble at all anything that I expected, but I am convinced everything that has happened led me to this moment. Maybe it was all meant to me?  Alongside the disappointment and tears, there were moments of immense joy, belly-splitting laughter, and taking on projects that led me to where I am today and I've learned some valuable lessons along the way.  In this episode, I discuss what I believe is my purpose in life and ten things I've learned over the last decade. Stick around because there are a few announcements towards the end.  I apologize in advance for the sound, I didn't realize it was so low and  while I can't really control the rain, I hope it doesn't ruin your listening experience. 

In this episode, I’m in conversation with another pal of mine, Rosie Clifton. The goal of this episode was to talk about French parenting styles vs British, or even more broadly, Anglo-Saxon parenting styles. And while we did touch on that, the two biggest and most important lessons I took away from this chat were that I really need to CHILL THE F OUT and appreciate just living in France. As you’ve probably figured out, overthinking is my superpower. I had many questions about being a parent in France, raising French kids, and preconceived notions about how hard it must be. Rosie’s approach was just kinda like listen, you’re here, you’re you, you have to be confident with what you’re transmitting and who you are and tout va bien (everything is gonna be okay), which is so true and can be applied to many aspects of life. Especially living in France. After you’ve been living in France for a while It’s easy to make sly comments about French people and the country but the fact of the matter is that it’s not a terrible place to live, despite how it may seem due to the recent strikes, and there are a lot of benefits that come with living in a country with a strong social welfare system and a history of fighting for it. The main benefit is that you can enjoy life and spend quality time with your friends, family, and half-French children if you have any. Thank you Rosie for helping me view France in a different light and easing my anxiety around my non-existent children. That said, if I ever have any and they start getting sassy with me in French I’m sending them your way. And thanks for putting up with me in the group chat too.

Back-to-back episodes featuring very chic, very cool, very stylish, very insightful Parisians.  How lucky are we?! In this episode, I'm in conversation with my friend, the artist Tiffanie Delune. In the episode, we talk about self-love, self-care, being in alignment with oneself and how that leads you on the path toward designing your own life. Having the courage to acknowledge, ask for and walk toward the life you really want isn’t an easy feat. You have to be honest about your desires and needs, mute negative self-talk, banish doubt, face your fears, and stand naked in front of the mirror (hypothetical or real, as you want) with the unabashed truth: a change is necessary. But the reward ya’ll. THE REWARD!  After taking that first step—the bravest step—is beyond measure. You’ll find yourself in alignment with your life, with the way you love and want to be loved and, most importantly, with the regard you have for yourself. Don’t be afraid to jump and believe, go after what you want. Usually, the net appears, in one way or the other. It’s always been there, just waiting for you to take the leap of faith. I hope you enjoy the episode and it influences some positive changes in your life, no matter how big or small.

In this episode, I talk to my very Parisienne, very chic, very cool pal, Marie Chalamet.  Like me, Marie is divorced. And like me, her marriage ended when she was in her early 30s. In this episode, we talk about food, of course, but we also talk about divorce and romantic relationships.  Her approach to relationships and life, in general, is quite different from mine. Where she goes with the flow and takes things as they come, I am someone that needs to plan, understand, and analyze. Essentially, I overthink everything. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I’m getting better at not doing that all the time, but it’s still my default. I walked away from this conversion with the following questions: why am I worried about what’s going to happen in 3 months when it’s day 4 of me getting to know someone? Why am I putting so much pressure on myself? Why am I getting SOOOO WOUND UPPPP???  I won’t say that this conversation completely changed me but, if you suffer from overthinking like me, I hope this conversation helps you to BREATHE take it easy and, as Marie suggests, just live in the moment. 

Ciao a tutti! I recorded this episode from a much bigger kitchen during my stay in Monopoli, Italy a few weeks back. In this episode I talk about why I went to Italy, the pull that the country, and specifically Puglia, has on me, traveling solo as a lady and I answer your IG questions (you guys are REALLY curious about TFM!) all while attempting to make pasta alla gricia. I hope you enjoy it and buon ascolto!    

Sometimes we forget to take stock of and appreciate the love we have in our lives when we feel like it's lacking. In this episode, I talk about a time in taking for granted the care, support, and affection I have around me and the things that happened that made it very clear that I need to focus on what I have versus what I perceive as a lack.

19 years, 3 children, 2 long-distance stints and the love that Camille has for her husband Bruno is as strong and palpable as when they met in school at the tender age of 18 years old. It really is just a coincidence that this episode is being released on Valentine’s Day and their anniversary. I didn’t plan it this way but my unwavering procrastination led to this twist of fate. I spoke to Cam about how she’s sustained her relationship through the ups and downs of life, how they’ve grown as individuals, as a couple, and in love. I found our conversation very insightful and reassuring. And as I was editing the episode the one thought that was on replay in my mind was: Love is patient, love is kind Merci encore Cam for your friendship and taking the time out of your schedule to talk to me and for sharing your experience and wisdom.  Happy Valentine’s Day à tous.

I’m not cooking in this episode and there is no chatting about my current life in Paris instead, I’m going to tell you a little story about what led me to you and you to me. So find a cozy spot, your fave beverage of choice, and listen to me tell you about the fateful Saturday that led me to start cooking dinner for one by reading the prologue of my memoir. I did get a *little* EMOSH during the reading 🤪. I can’t help it. Maybe with every reading, it’ll become a bit easier…. As always, thanks for listening and rocking with me. Happy Holidays and talk to you soon. 

It’s been almost 4 years since I started the podcast. In 2018 I was very much on a ‘no boys allowed’ train. I needed to get my shit together by myself and was very wary of falling into the trap of using a relationship to help me. Time has passed, things have changed and now for the first time I find myself in a place where I think I *may* actually be ready to open myself to the possibility of falling in love again. I’m ready to share everything I’ve learned about myself, my mature outlook on love and life, essentially a new and improved Sue B with the lucky bugger that captures my heart. In this first episode of season 5, I cook a finger-licking good, stick to your bones, make you feel warm and cozy fried chicken and herb-infused mashed potatoes while talking about love. Specifically, I talk about how my idea of love has evolved, I randomly share what I consider my first love (hint: it was in Jamaica and I was like 3 years old haha)  and I go on a few tangents but it all makes sense in the end….trust me. Throughout the season I’ll invite friends into my kitchen to cook and discuss all types of love: long-term love, love in a second language, love post-divorce, etc. Hope you’ll stick around. Et voilà, quoi. On y va. 

The pandemic is far from over but this past year and a half has been quite a doozy, no? I’m still processing everything we’ve all been through and trying not to be too nervous and anxious about what’s next, so I decided to get on my soapbox and talk about the 6 *positive* things cooking dinner for one during a global pandemic taught me while making a tomato salad. The salad is so simple and delish. It’s just cherry tomatoes, red onions, feta, and parsley.