Care to Change Counseling - Practical Solutions for Positive Change

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still felt completely alone?The holidays are filled with gatherings, celebrations, and expectations of togetherness. But for many, this season can magnify feelings of loneliness, especially when relationships have changed, family dynamics are complicated, or life looks different than we imagined.In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, therapist and Managing Director April Bordeau welcomes therapist Teresa Land to explore why loneliness isn't always about being alone. Sometimes it's about feeling unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected, even from the people closest to us.Together, April and Teresa discuss five different types of loneliness, how past hurts and the pressure to be strong can keep us from meaningful connection, and practical steps toward building relationships where we feel known and supported.Through personal stories and biblical encouragement, they remind listeners that loneliness doesn't mean something is wrong with you. We were created for connection, and even in our loneliest moments, we are not forgotten by God.In This Episode, You'll Hear About:Why the holidays can intensify feelings of loneliness and disconnection.Five types of loneliness: relational, emotional, situational, spiritual, and internal.How being the "strong one" can sometimes make us the loneliest person in the room.The role of vulnerability, trust, and honest communication in building meaningful relationships.Three questions to help identify what kind of connection you need.Practical steps to move from isolation toward belonging.When loneliness may signal something deeper, including depression or hopelessness.The biblical story of Hagar and the comfort of knowing God sees us, even when we feel invisible.Resources MentionedThe Path Out of Loneliness by Mark MayfieldGenesis 16 — Hagar's encounter with El Roi, the God who sees.If you're experiencing loneliness, isolation, or hopelessness, you don't have to navigate it alone. Our therapists are here to provide compassionate, professional support and practical solutions for positive change.Visit www.caretochange.org to learn more or connect with a therapist.And as you enter this holiday season, consider two questions: Where do I need to let myself be known? And who around me might be waiting for someone to truly see them?Sometimes meaningful connection begins with one courageous step.

What if the pressure to make the holidays magical is the very thing stealing your joy?The holidays are meant to be a season of celebration, connection, and hope. But for many, they're filled with exhaustion, overwhelming expectations, family pressures, and grief.In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, April Bordeau and therapist Jean Crane explore why the holidays can leave us running on empty—and how to reclaim what matters most.In this episode, you'll discover:How to recognize the difference between being tired and emotionally depletedWhy holiday traditions can become burdens instead of blessingsPractical ways to set boundaries and release unrealistic expectationsHow grief and gratitude can coexist during the holidaysWhy a simpler Christmas may actually be a more meaningful oneYou don't have to manufacture joy, maintain every tradition, or create a picture-perfect holiday to experience the beauty of the season.Maybe this year, the greatest gift isn't doing more. It's making room for what matters most.If the holidays feel heavier than joyful, you don't have to navigate them alone. At Care to Change, we're here to help you find relief from overwhelm, establish healthy boundaries, and make room for what matters most. Visit caretochange.org to connect with a therapist and take the next step toward positive change.

The holidays are supposed to be joyful. But what happens when life doesn’t look anything like you thought it would?Maybe someone is missing from the table. Your family has changed. A relationship is strained. You’re facing financial stress, a diagnosis, disappointment, or simply a season you never expected. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t only what has changed. It’s the gap between the holiday we pictured and the one we’re actually living. In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, Mac Zambrano talks with April Bordeau about finding hope when the holidays don’t feel merry. April shares from her own experience with loss and explores how we can acknowledge what hurts without allowing disappointment to become the whole story.Because hope doesn’t require pretending everything is okay. Sometimes hope begins when we stop fighting what has changed and begin noticing what is still available to us. In This Episode, We Discuss:The gap between the holiday we expected and the one we’re actually experiencingWhy we can grieve people, relationships, traditions, expectations, and even things that never happenedHow comparing this year to previous holidays can increase our sufferingThe difference between acceptance and approval, and why accepting reality doesn’t mean liking itGiving yourself permission to change traditions when they no longer fitHow “if only” thinking can convince us that peace is somewhere other than the presentWhat may still be available to you, even when circumstances haven’t changedWhy hope is not the same as getting the outcome we wantHow faith can make room for unanswered questions, disappointment, and griefApril also offers a practical question for navigating a changed holiday:“Given what is true, how do I want to move through this season?”Maybe that means changing where you gather, ordering dinner instead of cooking, declining an invitation, inviting someone new, traveling somewhere different, or allowing your children to help create a new tradition. Changing a tradition doesn’t erase what it meant. Sometimes it simply makes room for what comes next. And when your mind starts saying, If only things were different, then I could be okay, consider another question:What is still available to me right now?Connection? Rest? Beauty? Worship? Laughter? Generosity? A meaningful conversation? Not everything you want may be available, but something still is. Resources MentionedApril recommends previous Care to Change podcast episodes on grief, along with Why? by Anne Graham Lotz and Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb as resources that have been meaningful in her own seasons of unanswered questions and loss. If this season feels heavier than something you can simply work through with the support of friends and family, consider reaching out to a counselor with experience and training in grief and loss. Healing sometimes requires more than simply learning how to cope. You may not get the holiday you imagined. But you can still experience connection, create meaning, notice beauty, receive love, give love, and find hope.  

What happens when you've reached the point of burnout, taken time to recover, and returned to the same life that exhausted you in the first place?For many leaders, pastors, caregivers, and helping professionals, burnout isn't simply about working too much. It's about the expectations we carry, the patterns we've developed, and the pressure we place on ourselves to keep going, even when we're running on empty.In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, therapist and Managing Director April Bordeau welcomes pastor Brandon Shields to discuss his personal journey through burnout after more than 25 years in ministry. Brandon shares how chronic anxiety, leadership pressures, criticism, and the demands of church planting eventually left him physically exhausted, emotionally depleted, and spiritually weary.Together, April and Brandon explore why rest alone isn't always enough to recover from burnout, how our internal beliefs and relational patterns contribute to chronic exhaustion, and what it looks like to rebuild a life that supports lasting emotional, physical, and spiritual health.Through honest conversation and practical wisdom, they discuss the importance of community, healthy boundaries, Sabbath, and creating sustainable rhythms of care.In This Episode, You'll Hear About:Why burnout is more than physical exhaustion and how to recognize emotional and spiritual wearinessThree common signs of burnout: exhaustion, cynicism, and a growing sense of ineffectivenessHow childhood experiences, internal expectations, and negative thought patterns can contribute to recurring burnoutWhy pastors, leaders, and helping professionals can struggle to acknowledge their own limitationsThe importance of vulnerability, meaningful relationships, and asking for supportWhy recovering from burnout often requires changing the structure of your life, not simply taking a vacationPractical rhythms of care, including silence, solitude, prayer, physical health, and communityHow Sabbath can become an opportunity for rest, delight, and trust rather than another religious obligationLearning to separate your identity and worth from your productivity and performanceSmall changes you can begin making today to build a healthier, more sustainable lifeKey TakeawayYou cannot build a sustainable life on the same patterns that led you to burnout.Recovery requires more than stepping away from responsibilities temporarily. It means examining the beliefs, expectations, relationships, and habits that shape your everyday life and intentionally creating room for restoration.You don't have to wait until you're completely exhausted to begin making changes.Resources MentionedThe End of Burnout by Jonathan MalesicThe Way of the Heart by Henri NouwenThe practice of Sabbath, silence, solitude, and developing a personal rule of lifeSpiritual direction, counseling, and supportive communityNeed Support?If you're recognizing patterns of burnout, struggling with chronic exhaustion, or finding it difficult to create healthy rhythms in your life, you don't have to navigate the process alone.At Care to Change, our therapists help individuals identify the patterns contributing to emotional exhaustion, work through underlying concerns, and develop practical strategies for lasting change.Visit www.caretochange.org or call 317-790-9396 to connect with our team.About Brandon: Brandon Shields serves as the Director of Church Formation for Practicing the Way, a ministry that helps churches form lifelong apprentices to Jesus.Brandon has served in pastoral ministry for 25 years, including the last 14 as founding and lead pastor at Soma Midtown in urban Indianapolis. He has also been a contributing author to several books on pastoral ministry, including Perspectives on Family Ministry and Faithful Endurance. He’s written articles and been interviewed for publications like Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, and For the Church. Brandon holds an undergraduate degree in business, a graduate degree in missiology, and a Ph.D in leadership. He currently lives in Indianapolis with Emily, his wife of 22 years, and his four amazing children.To connect with Brandon or learn more about his ministry, email [email protected]. Instagram: @brandonshields @practicingtheway

What happens when taking a vacation, getting more sleep, or stepping away for a weekend still doesn’t leave you feeling restored?Burnout affects more than your energy. It can impact your physical health, emotional well-being, relationships, ability to think clearly, and even your connection with God. And because burnout doesn’t happen overnight, recovering from it requires more than a quick break.In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, therapists April Bordeau and Brittany Gipson discuss what it takes to recover from burnout by caring for the whole person. They explore why rest alone isn’t always enough, how to recognize what’s draining you, and the practical changes that lead to lasting restoration.Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, pastor, leader, therapist, or someone who has spent too long pouring into others, this conversation offers a path toward healing that doesn’t require abandoning your purpose.In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:Why burnout affects five dimensions of your life: physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritualHow to recognize what your body and emotions are telling youFive practical steps to recovering from burnoutWhy sleep, nutrition, movement, and genuine enjoyment matter in restorationHow toxic influences, including excessive social media use, can interfere with recoveryWhy reconnecting with supportive relationships is essentialHow to establish boundaries, release unrealistic expectations, and say no without guiltWhat it means to reclaim your physical and emotional spacesHow to reconnect with your purpose while changing the way you carry your responsibilitiesWhy recovering from burnout takes time and what you can do to begin todayKey TakeawayYour why may not need to change, but your how might.Recovering from burnout isn’t about returning to the same patterns that left you depleted. It’s about learning to live in a healthier, more sustainable way.You don’t have to change everything at once. Start by identifying one area of your life that feels depleted and schedule one intentional step toward restoration this week.And remember, your worth has never depended on your productivity. You are valuable because of who you are, not simply because of what you do.Resources MentionedTry SofterPreventing Ministry FailureNecessary EndingsBooks by Ruth Haley Barton on spiritual rhythms, rest, and SabbathCare to Change’s personal burnout assessmentConnect With Care to ChangeIf you’re experiencing burnout and aren’t sure where to begin, you don’t have to navigate recovery alone. Care to Change offers counseling, groups, and intensive therapy options to help you find practical solutions for positive change.Visit www.caretochange.org to learn more, connect with a therapist, or explore available resources.If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who may be carrying more than they realize.

What if your exhaustion isn’t just about being tired? What if your body has been trying to tell you something you’ve been too busy to notice?Brain fog, irritability, trouble sleeping, digestive issues, anxiety, and even emotional numbness can all be signs that your nervous system is overwhelmed. When stress becomes a constant part of life, our bodies can remain in survival mode long after the stressful situation has passed.In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, therapist April Bordeau sits down with therapist Jared Jones to explore how chronic stress affects the nervous system, why we sometimes feel disconnected from our emotions, and what it takes to begin recovering.Together, they discuss the everyday habits that quietly drain our capacity, how to recognize what our bodies are communicating, and practical ways to move from survival mode toward greater emotional and physical well-being.In This Episode, You’ll Hear About:Common signs of an overwhelmed nervous system, including brain fog, irritability, fatigue, and emotional numbnessWhy the body can remain in survival mode even after a stressful experience has endedHow caregiving, perfectionism, grief, difficult relationships, and high-pressure environments contribute to nervous system exhaustionEveryday habits that increase stress, including multitasking, overstimulation, overcommitment, and inadequate restWhy scrolling, watching television, or simply taking time off may not provide the restoration your nervous system needsPractical ways to begin recovering through intentional rest, mindfulness, gratitude, and healthier boundariesHow to reconnect with your emotions when you’ve become numb or disconnected from your bodyWhy safe relationships and professional counseling can play an important role in healingResources Mentioned:The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark ComerAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownTake a Moment to Reflect:What is your body trying to tell you that you’ve been too busy to hear?Pay attention to the tension in your shoulders, the tightness in your jaw, your energy level, or the emotions you’ve been avoiding. These signals may be invitations to slow down and consider what you need.You don’t have to wait until you’re completely exhausted to begin caring for yourself.At Care to Change, we provide practical solutions for positive change through counseling, groups, and intensive therapy services.Learn more at www.caretochange.org.Connect with Care to Change:Website: www.caretochange.org Call: 317-790-9396 Text: 317-979-7133Next Episode: Recovering from Burnout: Healing the Whole Person

What if you’re getting enough sleep, taking weekends off, maybe even going on vacation, and you’re still exhausted?You may not just be tired.In this episode of the Care to Change Podcast, Mac Zambrano talks with therapist and Care to Change Managing Director April Bordeau about the difference between everyday stress and burnout, why traditional rest sometimes stops working, and how to recognize when exhaustion is telling you that something deeper needs attention.Burnout doesn’t always mean you need another day off. Sometimes you need a different kind of rest. You may be physically rested but mentally overloaded, relationally depleted, emotionally exhausted, spiritually dry, or carrying responsibilities that were never yours to carry.April and Mac explore what happens when caregivers, leaders, parents, pastors, therapists, first responders, and other helpers spend so much time caring for others that they stop noticing their own limits.In this episode, you’ll hear about:The difference between normal stress and burnoutWarning signs that stress may be becoming burnoutWhy sleep, weekends off, and vacations don't always restore usHow burnout can show up as irritability, numbness, resentment, detachment, difficulty concentrating, or loss of motivationThe different kinds of exhaustion we experience: physical, emotional, mental, relational, spiritual, and professionalWhy over-functioning, constant availability, and tying your identity to productivity can contribute to burnoutHow chronic stress can begin showing up in the bodyWhy your current season of life matters when evaluating your capacityThe difference between temporary relief and addressing the root of depletionHow boundaries, delegation, and sustainable rhythms can helpWhat Jesus models about solitude, withdrawal, prayer, and sharing responsibilityWhy burnout can be information rather than evidence that you aren't strong enoughThe goal isn’t simply to get better at recovering from an unsustainable life. The goal is to build a way of living that you don’t have to keep recovering from.If you recognize yourself in this conversation, you don't have to wait until you're completely depleted to make a change. Pay attention to what your exhaustion may be telling you, and consider what kind of support, boundaries, restoration, or deeper healing you need.Care to Change is here to walk alongside you.Other episodes that may help:Worklife BalanceBurnout & Compassion Fatigue

Sometimes the people who care about us most say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. “Everything happens for a reason.” “It could be worse.” “You just need to forgive.” “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” The intention may be good, but the impact can still hurt. In this episode, Jared Jones sits down with therapist April Bordeau to talk about what happens when well-intentioned words land painfully. They explore why people often speak out of their own discomfort, how to acknowledge hurt without assuming the worst about someone’s heart, and what healthy repair can look like when words cause harm. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Why people say unhelpful things when they don’t know what to say  The difference between someone’s intent and the impact of their words  How seemingly encouraging statements can actually feel dismissive or invalidating  Why you can validate your hurt without assuming someone meant to hurt you  How to tell someone, with grace, where their words landed  What to do when you realize you’re the one who said the wrong thing  Why a sincere apology matters more than defending your intentions  How forgiveness, humility, and honest conversation can strengthen relationships April and Jared close with two important questions: Who might you need to forgive for words that hurt? And who might need an apology from you for words you never intended to cause pain? If words have left a deeper wound than you know how to navigate, you don’t have to work through it alone. The team at Care to Change is here to help you find a path toward healing, healthier relationships, and hope.

Pastors and ministry leaders are often invited into people’s hardest moments. They sit with grief, conflict, betrayal, trauma, addiction, family struggles, church hurt, and major life transitions. That work is meaningful, but it can also be incredibly heavy. Sometimes the person helping everyone else find peace is quietly carrying pain of their own. In this episode, Jared Jones talks with Mac Zambrano, counselor and former pastor, about the unique emotional and relational weight ministry leaders carry and why caring for their own souls is an important part of faithful leadership.You’ll hear about: The unrealistic expectations pastors can place on themselves and that others can place on them  Why ministry leaders need permission to grieve, hurt, rest, and simply be human  How criticism, conflict, betrayal, and people leaving a church can affect pastors personally  Why forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring hurt, skipping grief, or eliminating healthy boundaries  The emotional weight of walking alongside people through loss, suicide concerns, marriage struggles, divorce, parenting challenges, and other difficult seasons  Why every leader needs a place where they are not the leader The importance of honest self-check-ins: What am I carrying? Where am I discouraged? What has been life-giving? What do I need to surrender to God?  Why Sabbath, boundaries, safe relationships, and time with God that isn’t connected to producing a sermon or serving others are essential forms of soul care   Practical ways church members can encourage and care for pastors through prayer, notes, encouragement, practical help, and simply allowing them to be human Mac offers an important reminder for ministry leaders: God loves you beyond your role. Your value isn’t dependent on how well you preach, how much you accomplish, or how available you are to everyone around you. And for those being cared for by pastors and ministry leaders, this episode offers a simple challenge: care for the people who care for you. Send the note. Pray for them. Encourage them. Offer practical help. Let them know their faithfulness is seen.Scripture also reminds us to honor those who lead and care for us spiritually, including 1 Thessalonians 5:12–13 and 1 Timothy 5:17. For additional resources on church hurt, burnout, emotional health, and leadership, visit Care to Change or listen to previous episodes of the Care to Change podcast. 

Forgiveness is difficult in any painful relationship. But what does forgiveness look like when the hurt involves abuse? And can you forgive someone while still maintaining boundaries, requiring accountability, and choosing safety?In this episode, April Bordeau is joined by Care to Change coach Sherry Follett and “Lynn,” a mother whose daughter experienced domestic abuse. Lynn shares the impact abuse had not only on her daughter, but on their entire family, and the ongoing struggle of forgiving someone who caused significant harm. Together, they explore the complexity of abuse, why leaving is rarely as simple as it appears from the outside, and why forgiveness should never be confused with excusing harmful behavior or restoring unsafe relationships. In this episode, you’ll hear about: How abuse can be emotional, verbal, psychological, financial, spiritual, sexual, or physical  Why recognizing and naming abuse is an important part of healing  Common barriers that make leaving an abusive relationship difficult  Why forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time decision  What forgiveness does not mean: forgetting, excusing, trusting again, removing consequences, or minimizing what happened  Why forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing  How healthy boundaries and limited access can coexist with forgiveness  The grief that accompanies the loss of trust, safety, relationships, and the future you thought you would have  Why family members may move through forgiveness at very different speeds  How abuse creates a ripple effect throughout an entire family   Resources that can help survivors and their families move toward safety and healing One of the most important reminders from this conversation is that forgiveness does not mean giving someone continued access to you. It does not remove responsibility or consequences. Instead, forgiveness can become a choice to release yourself from remaining emotionally chained to what happened, even when the feelings take much longer to follow. If you are experiencing abuse or questioning whether a relationship is abusive, you do not have to navigate it alone. Seek support from a qualified professional or domestic violence organization. Safety comes first, and healing is possible. Resources: Domestic violence hotline number(s) —  Text 88788 or call 800-799-SAFE, or locally call 317-745-1496.Sheltering Wings - for shelter and resourcesLeslie Vernick — The Emotionally Destructive Marriage and The Emotionally Destructive RelationshipNatalie Hoffman — Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing MarriageLysa TerKeurst — Forgiving What You Can’t ForgetIf you are struggling with forgiveness after being deeply hurt, Care to Change is here to walk alongside you with compassion and competent care.