Bad Movies, Good Butts

This week, Erica recaps I Can Do Bad All By Myself from hometown hero, Tyler Perry!  Listen, we do our fair share of man hating here at BMGB but we’d never electrocute anyone...probably.  Also, who knew Madea movies could get so emotional??  Then Lucie reviews Gladiator, which gives her the opportunity to give Groundskeeper Willie and break and try out her Crocodile Dundee impression.  FYI Ridley Scott: snot props are not necessary, and keep listening for the one thing that will definitely determine if you’re smart or not.  Oh and please subscribe, rate, and review!

Welcome to Episode 22 y’all!  This week, Lucie learns to count (maybe), and we have more advice for men regarding bedroom activities they need to stop asking for, plus one they should probably just learn to deal with.  Plus, listen to Lucie’s recap of Girls because during it she gets a surprise from the man she spent Valentine’s Day with!  (It’s a lot less sexy than it sounds.)  Then Erica reviews the classic romcom Bridget Jones’s Diary, and we discuss our feelings on Spanx, which we have a lot of (feelings, not Spanx).  Erica also points out that while we both have terrible luck, at least our bare asses have never been on the news.  Here at BMGB Podcast, we would never condone violence, but if it’s somebody gross like Hugh Grant in BJD, we might be on board.  As always, subscribe, rate, and review!

On Episode 21, Erica recaps War Dogs starring Miles Teller, and we play Am I Old or Is This Stupid?  Erica has to remind Lucie that movies aren’t real life...again (only this one kind of is?), and we discuss Bradley Cooper’s best lewks.  Hot tip from Jonah Hill: never stay in Vegas longer than 2 days.  Then Lucie reviews Episode 9 of Outlander, starting off with a sure sign that society is making a comeback!  We also decide on some gender based slurs to reclaim from Black Jack Randall, and in case you were wondering, “Have they really made Friends references three episodes in a row?”...Yes.  Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!!

We’ve made it 20 whole episodes, y’all!  This week, while Erica recaps Playing for Keeps, we speculate about and look forward to the day when Catherine Zeta Jones gets herself the boy toy she deserves.  Don’t worry, of COURSE Judy Greer makes an appearance because otherwise, is it even really a romcom?  Also, controversial opinion but gratuitous shots of Gerard Butler in a towel are truly a gift.  Then Lucie switches gears with the thriller Red Eye.  We don’t want to victim blame here but Rachel McAdams has really gotten herself into a predicament.  No shade, but Cillian Murphy just kind of...looks like a sociopath?  And we come to the conclusion that we will never be proud members of the Mile High Club.  Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

Another accidental theme this week with both movies featuring evil Russian bad guys (and quite possibly no actual Russians…)!  We figure out the real reason behind Lucie’s history degree, and Lucie finds a new contender for the Holy Trifecta (Prince Harry, you’re on notice).  Erica doesn’t have space in her brain for your gender roles and misogyny, and just FYI if you’re doing a fully clothed boxing workout montage, you’re doing it wrong.  Erica reminds Lucie that time travel isn’t actually a thing, and considers a new career path.  Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

This week, Erica recaps Definitely, Maybe where we discover we weirdly have the hots for Borat and give you marriage advice from two never-married women.  FYI men, it’s super attractive that Ryan Reynolds is a serial monogamist and FYI everyone, please stop acting like you’re a temporarily undiscovered celebrity...except us, please someone discover us.  Then, Lucie reviews Forgetting Sarah marshall.  RIP Billy Bush’s career (remember him, y’all?).  Also, let’s all agree that we want more puppet musicals, and that red wine is not a Hawaii beverage!  Oh, and happy Passover to God’s chosen people!  Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! 🍀 What better way to nurse your hangover than with Episode 17?  To celebrate our Irish friends, we cover the first two movies of the 50 Shades franchise...much to our horror.  Lucie realizes that clearly Anastasia Steele didn’t do her Carmen Elektra strip tease aerobics, has the audacity to granny panty shame someone else like she doesn’t wear granny panties 90% of the time, and debunks the myth of the “wearing your boyfriend’s dress shirt.”  Then, Erica (unfortunately) recaps 50 Shades Darker, which she went into completely blind (much like Dakota Johnson in that sex scene).  Find out which one of these is an actual quote from the movie:  “They’re after me lucky charms!” or “You’re not putting those in my butt,” in Erica’s lowest rated movie so far!  May the road rise to meet you, and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

This week, Erica starts us off with a recap and review of Malcolm & Marie, and we examine the life of the 1 percenters with their life of luxury and their salted butter.  We also reveal what our friendship dealbreaker with Zendaya is, and point out that she deserves an Oscar for her performance as Woman Who Doesn’t Want to Sleep With John David Washington.  Then Lucie covers Venom, starring Tom Hardy, who she refuses to see in The Revenant out of protest.  Thanks for covering up Tom Hardy’s face AGAIN (lookin’ at you Christopher Nolan), and don’t forget to check Etsy for all of your tapeworm needs.  As always, subscribe, rate, and review!

On Episode 15, Lucie & Erica have another accidental theme - movies with Matt Damon cameos!  First, Lucie recaps the 2004 Kevin Smith “flick,” Jersey Girl.  Don’t worry, J. Lo dies in the first ten minutes.  Then she finally puts to bed the very Jersey Pork Roll vs. Taylor Ham debate, and cries multiple times over her love of Bruce Springsteen.  (Hey, you can take the girl outta Jersey…)  Also, we’re not saying that The Boss and Barack copied our podcast idea, but The Boss and Barack copied our podcast idea.  Then Erica covers the 80s romcom Mystic Pizza, with a pre-Julia Roberts Julia Roberts, unlikely heartthrob Vince D’onofrio, our theory on what ended the golden age of serial killers, and passive aggressive sister fights.  Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s BMGB, Erica covers Holidate, a movie from the before times when working from home was still something you judged people for.  We agree that khakis are always an awful gift idea and that we miss Auntie Anne’s mall pretzels.  Oh also, this just in, we’re HUGE in Australia.  Then Lucie revisits her internet boyfriend Sam Heughan to check in on how Jamie Fraser and Outlander-verse is going (not good).  We learn how Black Jack Randall is DYING to hook up with Jamie (get in line, pal), and hear what may possibly be the first ever “that’s what she said” joke.  Warning: do NOT watch Outlander with your parents!  And we might just get the answer to, “Is there anything Sam Heughan can’t do?”  (Love Lucie the way she deserves!)  As always, subscribe, rate, & review!