Autism Dadcast

The government says every household should be ready to look after itself for 72 hours. No power, no water, no shops. Easy enough, until you've got a non-verbal autistic child, a very short list of safe foods and an iPad that's about to die.Gaz and Andy got back from holiday to a "be ready" plan that wasn't written with autistic families in mind, so they've written their own. Fill the bath the second the power goes, before anyone climbs in it. Download the shows now, not when the Wi-Fi's gone. Screenshot the AAC keyboard, print it and laminate it on cardboard, because when Mish tried it at home it got picked up first time. Get the safe foods in, because "suck it up" doesn't work here. Think of it as an EHCP for prepping: plan for the worst day.Then they run the 72-hour challenge together, from Friday 6pm when the lights go out to Monday when they come back on. Water, nappies and wipes, medication, sleeping in one warm room, what you can cook on and what you never bring indoors, with a carbon monoxide story that'll have you checking your alarms tonight. Plus a one-page emergency profile for your child, a chat with school about pick-up, and why writing down one normal day shows you just how much you do that other families don't.Whether you call it a power cut or a power outage, this isn't about panic. It's about not wishing you'd done something. The stakes are too high not to.Timestamps0:00 Cold open0:36 Intro0:44 Back from holiday to a 72-hour warning5:27 The government's be ready plan vs real life7:28 Communication when the devices die11:11 Fill the bath first17:05 Why suck it up doesn't work here21:53 Medication you can't run out of25:33 No heating, living in one room30:36 The 72-hour challenge, hour by hour48:00 Camping stoves and carbon monoxide55:01 The cardboard AAC keyboard1:03:14 A one-page emergency profile1:07:37 Write down one normal dayIndi app: use code ADC40 for 40% off your first three months after the free trial.Watch: https://bit.ly/ep51-youtubeListen: https://bit.ly/ep51-listenGaz and Andy are two dads raising autistic children, talking about the bits nobody else says out loud.Link tree in bio.#autism #nonverbalautism #autismparents #specialneeds #powercut

Fifty episodes in, and last week we asked for one thing: a party that would put a proper plan for SEND families on the table. This week, one did.Gaz and Andy start with the Oxford Half Marathon and the £1,360 you helped raise for Ambitious About Autism, including one anonymous £700 that took the pressure right off. Thank you, whoever you are.Then a listener in our Discord sent in Restore Britain's new SEND policy, and we read it line by line. A lot of it is common sense. Help without needing a diagnosis first. Timely assessments. An end to the postcode lottery. Units inside mainstream schools as well as more specialist schools. A big push on practical, hands-on learning, because school isn't for everybody, and some of the kids who got written off as trouble are running their own firms thirty years on.Some of it raises hard questions. Who decides there is overdiagnosis? Who decides what a "genuine" disability is? Gaz puts it plainly: if you think there's overdiagnosis, show us the evidence. Andy makes the case for paying for help early, before a child who got none ends up somewhere far more expensive.This is not an endorsement of any party. It is two dads asking every party to do the same thing: talk to the families it affects, and show us how it's costed.Then, because last week got serious, your funniest stories. The dad on a work call who got handed something that wasn't a toy. The naked trip down the soft play slide. A lesson in what rhymes with duck. And the half-hour drive for Thomas's sausages that ended on the kitchen floor.Timestamps00:00 Cold open00:19 Intro00:27 Back from the Oxford Half, and £1,360 raised04:04 The Indi app, and why we said yes08:46 What we're wearing10:13 A party finally publishes a SEND policy12:42 Overdiagnosis: who decides?14:01 Help without needing a diagnosis first14:50 Timely assessments and the postcode lottery16:00 More specialist schools, and units in mainstream17:03 School isn't for everybody19:12 The line that will divide people24:15 Pay now, or pay for prisons later25:30 Judging a party on one issue29:18 Politically homeless32:04 Your funny stories32:36 The dad on the work call36:30 What rhymes with duck38:17 Backup sausages39:45 You think it's only happening to you40:52 Studio news, guests, and the bookIndi app: use code ADC40 for 40% off your first three months after the free trial.Gaz and Andy are two dads raising autistic children, talking about the bits nobody else says out loud.Link tree in bio.

Some families are now facing a two-year minimum wait just to be assessed for autism. Around 295,000 people are on the waiting list in England. A private clinic can do it in weeks, if you can pay.Gaz and Andy start with the "golden ticket" debate. The diagnosis opens the door to support, so what happens to the families who cannot afford to skip the queue? Andy remembers the first time he filled in the benefits form for Lydia, writing down her worst day when every instinct as a parent was to build her up. Andy asks how often a private assessment ever says no, and Gaz looks it up while they record. Nobody is tracking it.Then school. A new study links exclusion to worse mental health later on, and there is a big difference between a child who won't behave and a child who can't cope. Two hundred million pounds of new teacher training sounds good, but knowing what autism is and knowing what to do when a child will not walk into the classroom are two very different things. Andy says something he never expected to say: he feels lucky that Lydia's needs are so profound, because the children in between are the ones still fighting to be believed.Along the way: feeling politically homeless as SEND parents, the petition that went past 100,000, and a fear only an autism parent would have. Not what is causing the power cut, but how you get your child through it. Gaz rings home in the middle of recording to sort it.And the National Autistic Society now says autism is genetic. So why do so many of us still lie awake asking whether it was something we did?Timestamps00:00 Cold open00:13 Intro00:22 A week that flew by01:13 A two-year minimum wait for an autism assessment02:02 295,000 people on the waiting list03:12 The diagnosis as a "golden ticket"05:13 The form that makes you describe your child's worst day07:11 Private diagnosis: how often does it say no?09:03 Does money buy a faster route to support?10:19 "She's fine at school. It's at home she isn't."12:07 School exclusion: won't behave, or can't cope?14:34 "Would you mind not bringing your child in today?"16:20 £200 million for SEND teacher training19:30 "I feel lucky her needs are so profound"22:33 The teenager nobody believes23:45 Politically homeless27:39 What a real SEND policy would look like34:33 The petition that went past 100,00041:31 Stockpiling, and a power cut with an autistic child45:39 Gaz rings home mid-episode48:02 The National Autistic Society says autism is genetic50:50 "Was it something we did?"52:34 UK, US, Australia: everyone is waiting53:29 Mailing list, guests, the studio and the Discord55:25 The Oxford Half Marathon, and the fundraiser we forgotGaz and Andy are two dads raising autistic children, talking about the bits nobody else says out loud.Everything we do is in the link tree in our bio.

Not the episode we planned to record.This week a three year old went missing from a playground in Suffolk and was found in a pond the next day. He was non-verbal, partially deaf and on the autism pathway. Thirteen hundred members of the public joined the search.This is not an investigation, and it is not a judgement on a devastated family. It is about a danger that thousands of families live with every single day and almost nobody is warned about: elopement.Elopement is when an autistic person leaves a safe space, a responsible adult or a supervised area without the knowledge or agreement of the person supporting them. It can look like bolting, slipping silently through an exit, following a strong interest, or getting away from something overwhelming. It is not naughtiness. It is not defiance. It is not proof that a parent does not care. And it is not something a child stops doing because you call their name.The numbers are hard to read. Forty-nine percent of autistic children aged four to ten have tried to leave at least once, four times the rate of their own brothers and sisters. Fifty-three percent went missing long enough to cause real alarm. The average time missing is 41.5 minutes. Sixty-five percent had a close call with traffic. Autistic children are 160 times more likely to die from drowning than other children.Gaz and Andy talk about their own near misses, why "never take your eyes off them" is useless advice, what actually lowers the risk, and the one warning every parent should be given on the day of diagnosis and never is.Replace judgment with awareness, and awareness with action.Timestamps00:00 Not the episode we planned04:30 Absconding, eloping, wandering: none of the words fit05:11 Ten seconds, and a barefoot run down the street08:19 Nobody tells you this on the day of diagnosis09:05 What elopement actually is, in plain English09:56 Calling their name does not stop them11:35 What pulls them: water, traffic, trains, and the way out13:47 Forty-nine percent, four times the rate, 41.5 minutes15:27 160 times more likely to drown16:27 Swimming lessons, and the risk they can create17:34 Reins, biting, and the grandparent problem19:30 The mental load: scanning gates, exits, roads and water21:28 "Never take your eyes off them"22:39 Safety comes in layers26:39 "Watch harder", trackers, and what they cannot do30:26 Why people reach for blame33:23 What families can actually do38:06 The photograph you take before you leave the house41:55 If your child goes missing, call 999 straight away44:32 Should elopement risk be written into an EHCP?48:17 Thank you to thirteen hundred people49:47 Replace judgment with awarenessFor Noah.Everything we do is in the link tree in our bio.

Andy put a post up asking autism parents to name the one fear they have never said out loud. 858 people answered, and 103 of them said almost exactly the same thing.So we sat down and read them. Not the tidy ones, the ones people only admit when nobody can see their name next to it. Mourning the child you thought you were getting. Envying families who can wake up and just go somewhere. Feeling like you are managing your child rather than enjoying them. Wondering, honestly, what your life would look like if this had gone differently.And underneath nearly all of them, the same question that every one of us circles back to at three in the morning: what happens to them after I am gone.If you have ever had a thought you were ashamed of, this episode is 858 people telling you that you are not the only one who has had it.Timestamps00:00 Cold open00:13 Intro00:39 The Indi app and a summer of tracking02:25 The post that got 858 replies03:33 The child you thought you were getting07:12 Watching other families do the ordinary12:38 "It's not a superpower, and I'm tired of pretending"16:00 Neuro spicy, and who gets to pick the words23:11 Managing, not living26:33 What it costs the other children30:52 The fear nobody says out loud32:47 What happens when I die42:42 Studio news, guests, and the fantasy league47:13 Why we now support a Serie B team in ItalyGaz and Andy are two dads raising autistic children, talking about the bits nobody else says out loud.Link tree in bio.

Robbie Williams announced at 52 that he is autistic, and said he has "a little bit of autism". Within a day the community had split over the phrasing.Gaz and Andy use it as a way into the question that keeps coming back. If one word covers Robbie Williams, and the same word covers Lydia, who is five, non-verbal and working with Makaton cards, does it still tell anyone anything? And if it doesn't, would splitting autism into levels help, or would it quietly move support away from the families already fighting hardest to get it?Along the way, Lydia brings her mum her shoes and says ""Daddy"" for the first time. Thomas drops his communication card in a packed Aldi, and two strangers know exactly what it is.Timestamps00:00 Robbie Williams, 52, and ""a little bit of autism""07:42 Has the word ""autism"" stopped meaning anything?09:23 ""I have to explain that she's not Robbie Williams""11:25 What levels would do to the families in the middle14:03 ""Mild"" autism, and who gets to decide it's mild16:25 Making profound autism visible enough to change policy18:16 Lydia brings her shoes and says ""Daddy""20:26 A spectrum ""widened to the point of collapse""21:53 Private clinics, and the money behind a diagnosis22:54 Should the diagnosis just be the starting point?25:21 Why is the EHCP process still on paper?26:58 The enemy isn't another autistic family30:11 Does ""autism"" tell you enough about the person?32:12 The autism community police35:04 ""Thomas isn't suffering. I am.""37:23 Aldi, and the stranger who knew what the card was for41:27 Who would be in charge of drawing the lines?44:23 If it's already split where you live, tell us how it works47:21 The autism dads' night out51:07 Country Fest, and two men judging dogsLink tree in bio.

Andy put a video up asking one question: which phrase from a professional never left you? His own was a paediatrician who would not answer whether Lydia was autistic, and instead said "we just need to ensure she reaches her potential, whatever that looks like." Around 685 parents answered. It is the only post we have ever done that got more comments than likes.So we sorted the lot and read them back. The denial, the low expectations, the gatekeeping, the ones that were meant kindly and landed like a brick, and the small number that got it exactly right. Over half of the worst of it came from a professional or a school. This one is heavy in places and very funny in others, and if you have ever been told your child does not look autistic, you are going to recognise most of it.Timestamps00:00 Thomas spells Playbarn on his iPad and reroutes the whole day02:49 The video Andy posted, and the phrase that never left him06:26 685 replies, and more comments than likes07:30 The split: denial, low expectations, cruelty, blame09:18 Over half of it came from a professional or a school10:34 "He doesn't look autistic" and what spazzy is actually short for15:10 The comebacks parents keep ready15:48 The grandad in the supermarket18:15 "Your autistic children may never thrive in school"19:02 Why families actually want a diagnosis22:35 "She isn't worth the funding" and the iceberg23:24 "Masking is a skill you should be proud of"24:38 The tongue tie nobody would treat25:51 Written off, and proven wrong32:05 The ones that were meant kindly34:53 The worst thing anyone said35:50 The comments about the comments36:01 What autistic adults asked us to hear37:38 The professionals who got it right40:36 A diagnosis doesn't change who your child is41:10 Hope without a promise41:25 Eye contact, and who it is really for45:04 Takiwatanga: in his or her own time46:01 "So am I. Don't worry. We see each other."47:20 Lydia's sleep, transitions and the summer holidaysTimecodes are taken from the raw recording and need tightening once the cold open is on the front of the final cut.Latest episode in the link tree in bio.

Across the world, parents of autistic children are being offered something thatsounds almost miraculous. Clinics promise better speech, better eye contact,calmer behaviour, and in some cases claim to repair or reverse autism. The priceruns from £10,000 to £40,000, and often more than once.Over the last few months we've been approached by clinic after clinic wanting tocome on the show and sell it to you. We said no. Instead we went and read thestudies.This one isn't about having a go at parents. Every parent looking at this isacting out of love, and we've both been desperate enough to try anything. Butlove doesn't mean a clinic gets to make huge claims without evidence. Stem celltherapy is a legitimate area of research. It is not currently a proven treatmentfor autism, and there's a difference between something being researched andsomething being proven.We also get into the ITV whistleblower, and the GB News piece asking whether"those people" should have access to children.Timestamps00:00 Hope, science, or a very expensive gamble02:21 We are not attacking parents10:15 What autism actually is13:18 What stem cells actually are15:56 The 2017 Duke study, 25 kids and no placebo18:47 The 2020 Duke study, and what it found24:38 Claim: a 95% success rate29:08 Why you'd swear blind it worked31:45 Thomas and Lydia progressed. Neither had stem cells35:37 Claim: it repairs the autistic brain38:12 Claim: most children improve40:45 Claim: our treatment is evidence based43:02 The risks nobody puts in the brochure48:00 What that money could buy instead50:45 The influencer taking commission54:02 Have a word with yourself66:45 "Have you missed the treatment window?"72:32 Myths and facts82:55 The ITV whistleblower86:50 GB News and "those people"Latest episode in the link tree in bio.

This week Gaz and Andy sit down with Jolanta Lasota, Chief Executive of Ambitious about Autism, at their college in Isleworth. 16 years leading the charity and mum to a 21-year-old autistic son, Jolanta has seen the whole picture, from the early years right through to adulthood and employment.We talk about why purpose matters more than exams, the young man who is non-speaking and holds down two jobs, the boy who was allowed to come to school in his pyjamas, and naming the grief nobody warns you about. Jolanta describes raising an autistic child as walking through woods with no path and no torch, and says the job is to be the one who carries the light. Honest, hopeful, and one of our favourite conversations yet.Timestamps- 00:00 Welcome, and where we are today- 00:27 [GUEST]'s journey, 16 years at Ambitious about Autism- 01:07 What's really changed in how we understand autism- 05:57 The sensory pod that blew us away- 06:58 The schools, the age groups, and post-19 provision- 10:36 Why "purpose" matters more than a curriculum- 12:20 "Walking through woods with no torch": what family life feels like- 13:27 The non-speaking young man with two jobs- 15:03 Are employers actually changing?- 15:49 Policy, the white paper, and autism as a political football- 20:06 Being the "happy helper", never enemy-ising people- 22:14 What school looks like at four to seven- 24:40 Focus on strengths, don't drill them on what they can't do- 27:09 Gaz's own school story: six D's and learning differently- 33:03 The weight of GCSEs and "lost leaders"- 38:02 Don't underestimate them: the iPad "daddy" moment- 40:28 Parents' guilt, and why it won't always be okay- 43:47 Grief without a death- 45:06 What's next for Ambitious about Autism- 49:13 Thanks and close

Paul Mullin has scored goals in front of millions and become a household name through Welcome to Wrexham. But this one is about the part of his life the cameras rarely catch: being dad to Albi, his autistic son.Gaz and Andy sit down with Paul for an honest, Albi-centric conversation about the regression that stopped his little boy in his tracks, the guilt that kept him up at night, and why he wouldn't change a single thing about his son. Plus the moment Albi found a way to tell him 'you're my best friend' without saying a word.If you have ever felt like the only dad going through this, this one is for you.Timestamps00:00 Welcome Paul Mullin01:00 The first signs, and Albi after his 12-month jabs02:00 Regression: like a click of the fingers04:00 The guilt, and crying himself to sleep04:30 I wouldn't pay a penny to change him05:35 Denial, and getting the diagnosis07:20 Speaking about it on Welcome to Wrexham08:24 The hope that kills you11:38 Why 'he'll be fine' doesn't help13:00 Did he grieve? The problem-solver dad16:14 Being a footballer dad: time away and routine19:12 How Albi communicates now22:15 Holidays: frozen meals, dry ice and the airport25:40 Coming home: holidays, holidays, holidays27:50 Razor-sharp awareness: he just knows29:20 The crafty negotiator: jet skis and boats33:40 The best friend clip35:07 Macho on the pitch, in tears at home35:48 Autism in Racing and giving back38:26 Nobody ever asks the dad how he is43:00 Advice to a dad just starting the journeyNew episodes of the Autism Dadcast every week. Real talk, real dads, real autism. Listen, follow and find everything in our link tree in bio.