Futurama: Xmas Story

🌴 The Advent Calendar House has awoken from what feels like a thousand-year slumber and a lame April Fool’s joke. As a peace offering, here’s the first of two back-to-back episodes celebrating Xmas as imagined by “Futurama.”  Up first is “Xmas Story” from 1999, in which we’re introduced to the annual tradition of gift-giving and shelter-taking from a killer robot Santa that awaits our descendants in the year 3000.  ****  🎙 Guests:Michael DiGiovanni (Pop Culture Retrofit, Bluesky)  Erin Evans (Bluesky)  Joey O. (Y-Not Radio, Bluesky)  Donnie Storms (Bronwen’s Ghost, Bluesky)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:“Fresh Hare” (1942).  Orange Cassidy sleeping through his own wrestling match.  “Why Chaucer Said ‘Ax’ Instead of ‘Ask,’ and Why Some Still Do” (NPR, 2013).  “Why is the number 1,729 hidden in Futurama episodes?” (BBC, 2013).  The classic dangling from a clock tower scenes from “Safety Last” and “Back to the Future.”  John Goodman’s other appearances as Santa.  Randy Johnson hits a bird with a fastball.  Corona Extra’s Christmas palm tree commercial.  The lyrics to “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” are sinister enough by themselves.  ****  📼 Commercials:Hess Truck 1999 Space Shuttle Toy.  Stick to Shorts: A Classic Cartoons Podcast.  ****  “Futurama” and “Xmas Story” © 1999 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🕎 It’s the year 2000, and Christmas and Hanukkah have crossed paths at my doorstep in the form of Santa Claus and his part-Jewish friend… a weird turtle man.  In honor of Christmas Day and the first night of Hanukkah sharing a day on the calendar this year, we’re revisiting some old Friends, an escaped tarantula, a restaurant we may never be allowed in or out of again, and an unforgettable interfaith holiday mascot fit for a new millennium.  ****  🎙 Guests:Becca Petunia (ToughPigs.com, Bear in the Big Blue Podcast, Bluesky)  April Ryley (Bluesky)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. How often does the first night of Hanukkah fall on Christmas? (Vox, 2016)  2. What the ‘Friends’ Holiday Armadillo Episode Gets Right About Interfaith Families (Hey Alma, 2021)  3. The “Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas” drum roll outtake reel.  4. A transcript including deleted scenes reveals Ben wants Santa to bring him an ant farm.  5. Formication (with an M, y’all), the false sense of feeling like bugs are crawling on you.  6. Halloween Adventure is real and still open.  7. Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.  ****  📼 Commercial Break:AT&T True Savings with David Schwimmer (circa 1996)  The Studio Demands It!  ****  “Friends” and “The One with the Holiday Armadillo” © 2000 Warner Bros. Television.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 1986, and the only way Drew Barrymore can save her new friends is to believe in the magic of toys… and Cincinnati.  From director Clive Donner comes a bonkers adaptation of “Babes in Toyland” starring Drew Barrymore, Keanu Reeves, and Richard Mulligan as a weird, evil guy who lives in a bowling ball.  ****  🎙 Guests:Molly Patton (MollyPatton.com)  Becca Petunia (ToughPigs.com, Bear in the Big Blue Podcast, Bluesky)  Adam Pope (The Retro Network, Wizards: The Podcast Guide to Comics, Remember That Show?, Bluesky)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. Watch “Babes in Toyland” on Tubi, the full, 3-hour original broadcast with commercials, or the unofficial “Director’s Cut” without ads.  2. Misfits in Toyland (NSFW), an unrelated horror-comedy webcomic.  3. Keanu Reeves (Jack) on “Going Great” (1985).  4. Googy Gress (Georgie) in “Wayne’s World 2.”  5. Today’s TV Trope: And You Were There.  6. The Cookie Jar House of South Jersey.  7. The Undertaker’s entrance at WrestleMania IX, in the middle of the afternoon.  8. Sigmund and the Sea Monsters (and Tripping Daisy’s cover of theme song).  9. The Toymaster’s Santa coat looks like Belle’s from “Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.”  10. Was It Great, or Were You 8?  ****  📼 Commercial Break:McDonald’s: Recital (1986)  Give ’Em All a Little Pat of Butter (1986)  TGI Podcast  ****  “Babes in Toyland” © 1986 The Finnegan Company.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 2010, and I’m hiding in a closet from a flying shark that ate half my screwdriver.  I’ve finally caught up with the timeline of people who have been requesting that I watch the “Doctor Who” Christmas specials, particularly this twisted take on “A Christmas Carol” starring Michael Gambon in the Scrooge role and the 11th Doctor as at least 2 ghosts of Christmas.  ****  🎙 Guests:Andre Bennett (Bluesky)  Jack Ford (Total Christmas Podcast)  Anthony Strand (ToughPigs.com, Movin’ Right Along, Bluesky)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. Andre’s review of this episode from 2011.  2. Anthony ranks all of Steven Moffat’s “Doctor Who” episodes.  3. Amy and Rory’s outfits may or may not be but probably are a nod to a similar scene in a 2001 “Only Fools and Horses” Christmas special.  4. Michael Gambon in “Toys,” as the Ultragorgon on Jim Henson’s “Monster Maker,” and as the Ghost of Christmas Present in 2001’s “Christmas Carol: The Movie.”  5. Abigail is basically Nora Fries from Batman.  6. Katherine Jenkins on “Dancing with the Stars.”  7. Danny Horn (Young Adult Kazran) on Bandcamp.  8. Greenland sharks could live for hundreds of years.  9. “Abigail’s Song (Silence Is All You Know)”  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Tesco Christmas Advert: “Mrs. Belcher” (2010)  Tinsel Tunes: The Christmas Music Podcast  ****  “Doctor Who” and “A Christmas Carol” © 2010 BBC.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 1970, and a couple of bear cubs have jumped through my window and are eating all my marshmallows.  Join us on a deeper than expected dive into a Christmas special by former Hanna-Barbera animator Tony Benedict that almost wasn’t released till the owner of a now-defunct Florida theme park swooped in and saved it.  CONTENT WARNING: No animals were harmed in the making of this podcast. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about one of the 4 versions of this special.  ****  🎙 Guests:Gerry Davila (Totally Rad Christmas)  Ethan (The Hungry Reader, A Special Presentation or ALF Will Not Be Seen Tonight)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. “A Yellowstone Christmas” (Tony’s Version), the original cut.  2. The theatrical version with Hal Smith in the intro and added songs and sequences.  3. The Pirates World version with scenes from Ocean World Marine Park. This version was screened for Rifftrax.  4. The Modern Sound Pictures version with the songs but no live-action segments.  5. The Unusual History of Santa and the Three Bears. (The Delbert Cartoon Report, 2021)  6. The soundtrack and some background info.  7. Hal Smith in “The Incredible, Indelible, Magical, Physical Mystery Trip.”  8. Bobby Riha (Chinook) in Hanna-Barbera’s “Jack and the Beanstalk.”  9. Yellowstone National Park’s Zone of Death.  10. Today’s TV Trope: Human Snowball.  11. CBS Storybreak’s “Grinny.”  12. Homer Simpson tries to catch a rabbit.  13. Iceman in X-Men #1.  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Hardee’s Gift Checks (1970s)  ****  “Santa and the Three Bears” © 1970 Tony Benedict Productions.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 2003, and nothing puts me in a festive mood quite like a bar fight.  Join us as we spend Christmas break with the Justice League — well, most of it. Wonder Woman’s off doing something else, and Batman… you know, smells.  ****  🎙 Guests:Joey O. (Y-Not Radio, Bluesky)  James Riley (Twitter)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. Mike talks “Comfort and Joy” on Tis the Podcast.  2. Paul Dini’s notes on “Comfort and Joy,” including what where Wonder Woman and Batman were.  3. The Shrine of the Silver Monkey from “Legends of the Hidden Temple.”  4. The “Calvin and Hobbes” snowman gallery of horrors.  5. Santa gives Darkseid a lump of coal.  6. Clark and his parents’ cat, Streaky, are this universe’s Jon Arbuckle and Garfield.  7. One of the stuffed animals on Kara’s bed looks like Zook, one of Martian Manhunter’s comic book sidekicks.  8. “Sam, the Guy from Quincy” by the Arrogant Worms (re: Robert Ito as the Japanese toy company CEO).  9. The end of The Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror IV.”  10. Wild Swamp Thing appeared!  11. Ultra-Humanite is doing a Party Man.  12. A tangent about Oreo cookies, Martian Manhunter’s favorite food.  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Burger King: Justice League Kids’ Meal Toys (2003)  Oreos for Santa (1986)  Wizards: The Podcast Guide to Comics  ****  “Justice League” and “Comfort and Joy” © 2003 Warner Bros.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 1986, and Santa looks different after arriving late to the mall due to a flat reindeer.  Unfold that TV Guide you crafted into an angel centerpiece and join us for a semi-festive Christmas episode of “Mama’s Family” that will have you believing in either Santa or ghosts at the end of it.  ****  🎙 Guest:Joe Fulton (Christmas Aficionado)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. “Santa Mama” on the Internet Archive.  2. A Mama’s Family reunion on “Vicki!”  3. Vicki Lawrence sings “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia.”  4. Mama’s house was also seen in “Halloween.”  5. Ken Berry (Vinton) as Peter-No-Tail.  6. The cheapest Christmas gifts we got for childhood crushes.  7. The fragility of one-of-a-kind ornaments.  8. “You Are My Sunshine” on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Snuggle Fabric Softener Free Christmas Ornament (1986)  Snow in Southtown  ****  “Mama’s Family” and “Santa Mama” © 1986 Joe Hamilton Productions, Inc.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 1990, and Santa’s lost in my confusing network of chimneys.  Prepare yourself for a more silly than spooky Christmas special that takes us from Castle Duckula to a concussion-induced space adventure and back.  ****  🎙 Guest:Adam Parker Sibun (Merry Britsmas)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. “A Christmas Quacker” on the Internet Archive (it’s mislabeled as another episode).  2. Nick Knacks on “Count Duckula.”  3. Count Duckula’s first appearance on “Danger Mouse.”  4. UK Christmas TV, an extensive archive of Christmas TV listings for the UK’s main channels.  5. Jack May (Igor) was the original English voice of Muzzy.  6. The Odd Case of Dennis the Menace: 2 separate comic strip characters with the same name debuting on the same day on opposite sides of the Atlantic.  7. Return to the Turducken Hunger Games.  8. The daydream scene in “Sidekicks.”  9. Mike Oldfield’s “In Dulci Jubilo.”  10. Today’s TV Trope: Blunder-Correcting Impulse.  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Shreddies Cereal: Count Duckula Adventure Scratch & Win Game (1989)  Muzzy (circa 1989)  ****  “Count Duckula” and “A Christmas Quacker” © 1990 Carleton Productions.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 2020, and a gift-wrapped puppy licked my face and made my skin turn blue.  From the Chiodo Brothers comes a charming stop-motion Christmas special about how an alien invasion of the North Pole almost ruined Christmas — and the entire planet’s gravity, but also Christmas. Plus: A “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” Easter egg, some cameos from “Elf,” and Santa with nunchucks.  ****  🎙 Guests:Michael DiGiovanni (Pop Culture Retrofit, Bluesky)  Sammy Hain (Sammy’s Easter Tails, Bluesky)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. “Alien Xmas” on Netflix.  2. A behind-the-scenes interview with the Chiodo Brothers.  3. Bloody Disgusting’s review.  4. A “Killer Klowns” Easter egg hidden in the Klepts’ chamber of stolen stuff.  5. The magnetic north pole vs. the geographic North Pole.  6. Michelle Deco (Noelle) writes Nintendo trailers, including this one for The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD.   7. Today’s TV Trope: Tablecloth Yank.  8. “Here’s your problem: Someone set this thing to ‘evil.’”  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Coca-Cola “Santa Packs Are Coming” (1994)  Holidays After Dark  ****  “Alien Xmas” © 2020 Netflix US, LLC.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.

🎄It’s 1982, and I’m trapped at sea while Mickey Rooney butts into everyone’s conversation.  Join us as we embark on a Christmas cruise aboard the Pacific Princess for a very merry episode of “The Love Boat” featuring Maureen McCormick, Donny Osmond, and Mickey Rooney as an angel in disguise as your nosy neighbor.  ****  🎙 Guests:Guy Hutchinson (Pointless Nostalgia, GuyHutchinson.com)  William Bruce West (West Week Ever, Remember That Show?)  ****  💬 Topics & Tangents:1. “The Christmas Presence” on Paramount+, Pluto TV, and Facebook.  2. Sesame Street’s Love Boat parody and “Song of Ten.”  3. Guy on the history of the Lacoste Crocodile.  4. “Brady Bunch” references: Maureen McCormick can’t stop getting hit in the face , and Mrs. Brady gets her voice back.  5. What’s in Santa Stubing’s bag: Stadium Checkers, a Jeep Honcho model truck, and more.  ****  📼 Commercial Break:Toys “R” Us featuring the E.T. Atari 2600 Game (1982)  Remember That Show?  ****  “The Love Boat” and “The Christmas Presence” © 1982 The Love Boat Company.   Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost.  Full show notes and social links at adventcalendar.house.