Gender, Faith, and Privilege after Transitioning: Paula Stone Williams

Text us your questions!What happens when a successful religious leader transitions genders and loses everything? Reverend Dr. Paula Stone Williams takes us on her extraordinary journey from privilege to authenticity.Paula once stood at the pinnacle of evangelical success – CEO of a large nonprofit, television host, magazine editor. But beneath this accomplished exterior lived a truth she'd known since childhood: she was transgender. When she finally answered what she describes as a "calling" toward authenticity (instigated by the TV show Lost, belive it or not!), the cost was staggering. Paula lost her jobs, her pension, and virtually all professional connections overnight, earning less than $6,000 annually for four years after transition.This conversation reveals Paula's unique perspective as someone who has experienced life on both sides of the gender divide. Her observations about male privilege are particularly illuminating – "I'll not live long enough to lose my white male entitlement. I brought it with me," she notes, while describing the jarring experience of suddenly being dismissed, patronized, and underestimated in professional settings after transition.Rather than abandoning faith after being rejected by her religious community, Paula describes developing a deeper, more nuanced spirituality. She frames this transformation as moving from a "left-brain heavy faith" focused on doctrine toward one embracing intuition and mystery, leading to a more authentic connection with Jesus's teachings.Paula brings refreshing nuance to often polarized conversations about transgender issues, distinguishing between different manifestations of gender dysphoria while expressing concerns about some current treatment approaches. For church leaders navigating these complex waters, she offers practical advice from her extensive experience leading religious communities.Through her book As a Woman, viral TED Talks, and speaking engagements worldwide, Paula now shares the wisdom gained from her journey, through both profound loss and unexpected discovery. We hope this conversation informs and challenges you as much as it did us.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!How did the role of "pastor's wife" replace ordination for women in church history? Is the news that there was women's ordination in church history hitting you unexpectedly right now? It's cool, we get it; take a moment and come back when you're ready.Historian and actual pastor's wife Beth Allison Barr returns for a potentially revelatory conversation about her latest book, Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Drawing from extensive research, including archival discoveries and reading 150 pastor's wife books/manuals (yes, that's a real genre), Beth uncovers how the glorification of this role coincided with efforts to restrict women's ordination.This interview weaves eye-opening historical findings with deeply personal experiences. Beth shares stories of pastors' wives—herself included—being treated as church property, essentially an extension of her husband and his ministry rather than a full person. These aren't isolated incidents; they are systematic experiences faced by countless pastors' wives who are expected to provide unpaid ministerial labor while supporting their husband's careers.Perhaps most striking is the historical evidence that women served in virtually every ministry role men did for the first thousand years of Christianity—including as deacons, bishops, and preachers. The rise of complementarian theology—spoiler warning if you're not a regular listener of this podcast—is a modern development that deliberately ignores this rich history.While Beth doesn't shy away from the harm these practices have caused, she leaves us with hope borrowed from Doctor Who's beloved Van Gogh episode: while we can't undo past damage, we can "add to the good pile" by recognizing the truth, stopping harmful practices, and building a better future where women's gifts are fully welcomed in ministry. This is a conversation that will challenge your understanding of church history and inspire you to imagine new possibilities for what the church could be.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!Matthew Vines returns to discuss how the revised edition of his book addresses critiques from prominent theologians, the distinction between affirming theology and queer theology, and the possibility of affirming, orthodox Christianity.Matthew unpacks the scholarly consensus that modern sexual orientation concepts simply didn't exist in biblical times—a fact many prominent theologians like NT Wright dismiss without substantial engagement. This historical disconnect creates profound implications for how we interpret biblical passages addressing same-sex relationships.The discussion takes an interesting turn when Matthew articulates a strong critique of queer theology, distinguishing it from his own affirming theological stance. He argues that queer theory's categorical opposition to all normative structures actually harms LGBTQ+ acceptance by creating an antagonistic "us versus them" narrative rather than one of shared values and inclusion.We also explore Christian sexual ethics more broadly, with Matthew making the compelling case that monogamy and covenant faithfulness remain valuable principles with profound theological significance. He explains how Christianity's sexual ethic was actually liberating in the ancient world, especially for women and enslaved people who had previously been treated as property without sexual agency.The conversation concludes with Matthew sharing the mission of The Reformation Project—his organization dedicated to equipping Christians to advocate for LGBTQ+ inclusion while maintaining orthodox Christian beliefs. By modeling how affirmation and biblical commitment can coexist, they're challenging the false narrative that accepting LGBTQ+ people necessarily leads to theological liberalism.Topics covered in this episode include:• How ancient and modern understandings of sexuality are fundamentally different, with sexual orientation being a modern concept• The two main schools of thought in sexuality studies that emerged in the 1970s: social constructionism (Foucault) and essentialism (Boswell)• NT Wright and Preston Sprinkle's claims about ancient sexuality• Matthew's response to criticisms of his interpretation of Matthew 7 regarding "good and bad fruit"• The role of Christian sexual ethics in liberating vulnerable populations by restricting sexual activity to marriage• How queer theology differs from affirming theology in its rejection of all norms as inherently oppressive=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!Pope Francis, a man who inspired even many Protestants and non-Christians with his refreshingly prophetic voice, has died. The process to select his successor is ongoing as we release this. To help us understand what's happening, as well as its historical significance, we're talking with our friend and returning guest Shaun Blanchard, a Catholic theologian and theological historian. He helps us understand the significance of Francis's papacy and what might come next.As the first Latin American pope, first Jesuit pope, and first non-European pope since the 8th century, Francis broke numerous precedents while embodying what Shaun calls "the first truly post-Vatican II pope." While his predecessors were formed before Vatican II, Francis's entire priestly ministry took place afterward, fundamentally shaping his perspective on church reform.We explore how Francis's pastoral approach differed from Benedict XVI's more theological orientation and how his willingness to "make a mess" by reopening debates on issues like divorce, remarriage, and same-sex blessings represented a sea change in ecclesiastical culture. Francis challenged assumptions across the political and theological spectrum, championing environmental protection and migrant rights while maintaining core Catholic teachings.The conversation turns to the ongoing conclave, where approximately 80% of voting cardinals were appointed by Francis himself. Shaun offers insights into potential candidates including Pietro Parolin, Pierbattista Pizzaballa, and several Asian cardinals, discussing how geopolitical realities might influence the selection process. We also discuss the film "Conclave" and its portrayal of Vatican politics, including how realistic or sensational it was (spoiler warning!).Whether you're Catholic, Protestant, or simply curious about global religious leadership, this conversation illuminates a crucial moment of transition for the world's largest Christian denomination and invites reflection on what spiritual leadership means in our complex global environment.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!Matthew Vines is here to discuss the revised and expanded edition of his influential book God and the Gay Christian, marking eleven years since its initial release. The book sent shockwaves through evangelical Christianity and remains a powerful and compelling case for an affirming reading of the Bible for those who want to hold onto biblical authority (if you're counting, that's exactly one of the hosts of this podcast).Matthew shares the backstory behind the book, including how he took a semester off from Harvard to come out to his parents and how he spent months studying the Bible and reading ex-gay literature with his dad. That process ultimately changed his dad's mind and started the trajectory to this book.The heart of our conversation concerns Matthew's case for reading the Bible in an affirming way. He draws a fascinating parallel with how Christians approached biblical prohibitions against charging interest (usury) for 1,500 years—until John Calvin recognized that while Scripture categorically condemned the practice, its underlying moral logic was about protecting the vulnerable from exploitation. Similarly, Matthew argues, we must understand what same-sex behavior meant in ancient times before we can draw parallels to current practices and understandings.Matthew is articulate and thoughtful and approaches the issue with a great respect for the Bible and for his interlocutors. (The new edition of the book includes new sections responding to some of his critics!)This conversation ran so deep that we had to split it into two episodes! Stay tuned for Part 2.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!This is a conversation we've been avoiding: how are we doing now that Donald Trump is president again? As we had a break between interviews, we decided to try to unpack how we're feeling, what we're doing, what we've learned about ourselves, and what we're worried and hopeful about.This is an unusually impromptu and unpolished conversation for us. We didn't plan much and the emotions and the thoughts are raw and relatively unprocessed. We hope that resonates, but if it doesn't, we get it. We'd love to hear from you about what we got wrong (or right). We just needed to take a moment to process out loud together and we hope that it helps some of you start to do the same if you're experiencing similar confusion and grief.Some highlights:Randy shares the heartbreaking moment he realized he could no longer honestly tell his daughter she could become anything, revealing how political outcomes can alter our beliefs about what's possible for us.Kyle brings some philosophical perspective, arguing that meaningful progress requires examining the origins of our beliefs and taking ownership of our values.Elliot considers how to focus on local impact when national politics feels overwhelming.Randy raises a question that haunts many of us: why did over 77 million Americans vote for Trump?We dig into the currents of fear, anger, and disillusionment driving our nation, touching on liberal blind spots, conservative anxieties, and our collective failure to listen across difference. We also consider whether this moment is a temporary setback in history's arc toward justice or something more permanent, and where it leaves our senses of patriotism.CONTENT NOTE: This episode contains profanity. (How could it not?)=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!This is a re-release of an episode from our second season when we spoke with philosopher C Thi Nguyen. We think it bears re-listening in our current moment.=====What happens when we seek simple answers in a complex world? Philosopher C Thi Nguyen takes us into the machinery of belief, understanding, and value formation, exploring how we navigate information landscapes designed to manipulate us.Thi introduces the concept of "moral outrage porn"—representations that give us the satisfaction of moral righteousness without requiring meaningful action. We discuss conspiracy theories and his notion of "the seduction of clarity"—the powerful feeling we get from explanations that seem to make everything simple. This feeling is particularly dangerous because we're limited beings who need mental shortcuts to navigate the world.We also tackle echo chambers and why perfectly rational people can end up in them. Thi distinguishes echo chambers (where we systematically distrust outside sources) from filter bubbles (where we simply aren't exposed to contrary views), explaining that people inside echo chambers often follow logical procedures based on who they've decided to trust. This challenges the dismissive assumption that those with radically different beliefs are simply stupid or lazy.Weaving through discussions of game design, social media metrics, and institutional incentives, Thi reveals how our values are increasingly captured by simplified scoring systems that reshape our priorities according to what can be easily measured. The result? We outsource our complex human values to technologies and institutions that weren't designed to handle them.Uncomfortable yet?Content note: this episode contains profanity.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!What happens when the foundation of your identity crumbles beneath you? When the lens through which you understood the world no longer works? Psychologist Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren joins us to explore this profound transition that one-fifth of Americans have experienced—leaving religion behind.Drawing from eight years of groundbreaking research across multiple countries, Van Tongeren walks us through what he calls "the great disillusionment," which he documents in his book Done: How to Flourish After Leaving Religion. We discover that most people who check "none" on religious surveys were previously religious believers—what he calls the "dones." Their past faith doesn't simply disappear but leaves "religious residue" that continues influencing their thoughts, behaviors, fears, and values long after they've walked away.This conversation ventures beyond theory into practical wisdom for navigating life's deepest questions. Van Tongeren shares his personal journey through faith crisis after his brother's tragic death and how it shaped his research. We explore why rigid faith systems often collapse under scrutiny while flexible faith proves more resilient, how former fundamentalists frequently jump into new ideological extremes, and why developing "existential distress tolerance" might be the most crucial skill for our anxious age.Whether you're questioning faith, have left religion behind, or simply want to understand this massive cultural shift, this episode offers profound insights into finding meaning and purpose at the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. Van Tongeren challenges us to courageously engage life's existential realities rather than avoiding them—suggesting this honest confrontation might be the only path to flourishing.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!Tom Oord is back! This time, we're discussing his "main thing": open and relational theology. We explore what it means and its significance in reshaping our understanding of God, love, prayer, and more. Tom answers our questions graciously, and we try to convince Randy that he's wrong.How is open and relational theology different from classical theism? What does it imply about prayer or freedom or evil and suffering? What does love have to do with it? Is it all just a bit too easy?As always, Tom is a great sport and a hoot to talk to. We hope you find this conversation valuable.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!

Text us your questions!This episode explores the complexities of spiritual evolution and its impact on marriages and relationships. Our friend Keri Ladouceur shares her wisdom, and we discuss stories of navigating changing faith and the strain it can place on intimate partnerships. We cover how questioning beliefs impacts relationships, emotional labor amidst change, the stigma and fear surrounding deconstruction, open communication and mutual support, and what hope there is for couples undergoing religious transitions. If this is a place you find yourself, we hope this conversation is beneficial. You are not alone.Content note: This episode contains profanity.=====Want to support us?The best way is to subscribe to our Patreon. Annual memberships are available for a 10% discount.If you'd rather make a one-time donation, you can contribute through our PayPal. Other important info: Rate & review us on Apple & Spotify Follow us on social media at @PPWBPodcast Watch & comment on YouTube Email us at [email protected] Cheers!