Episode 721: Healing the Worthiness Wound with Thais Sky

Before we jump in– I wanted to let you know I’m hosting a free live training on April 14th for writers! Check it out HERE if you’re interested. 😘 This week I’m re-airing an archived episode– it’s one of my favorites– and it’s a conversation with Thais Sky. Thais is a truthspeaker, healer, women’s coach and feminist on a heart-led mission to support the seekers, the edge-dwellers, and the “why the heck do I feel so broken” of the world reclaim their sense of belonging by learning how to explore, trust and express themselves unapologetically. Thais is so expressive and downright poetic, as you’ll hear. I loved my conversation with her and I hope you do too. In this episode, Thais and I talk about the worthiness wound, what contributes to it, some critical steps to take to reclaim your worth and how healing the worthiness wound is a radical act. We also talk about personal development and how we often hope someone will save us, but it really comes down to doing the work. We also touch on holding the human experience and being capable of navigating through triggers, thoughts and feelings. Lastly, we talk about whiteness, patriarchy,  becoming radicalized and acknowledging that one can be both the oppressor and the oppressed (and how that doesn’t mean you are a bad person). In this episode you’ll hear: What reclaiming our sense of worthiness truly means How to begin reclaiming your worth (and how it’s different from cultivating confidence) Taking on the responsibility of others and hoping someone will save us Healing the “little girl” within (aka inner child work) What contributes to the worthiness wound, and why we can’t talk about the worthiness wound without talking about whiteness Acknowledging ableism and fat phobia Resources from this episodeJoin me for a free live training for writers!Thais Sky’s websiteThais on InstagramScene on RadioThe Start: A Forum for Radical Social ChangeAndréa Renee Johnson’s blog post on why the self-help industry is not changing the world Thais is a truthspeaker, healer, women’s coach and feminist on a heart-led mission to support the seekers, the edge-dwellers, and the “why the heck do I feel so broken” of the world reclaim their sense of belonging by learning how to explore, trust and express themselves unapologetically. Based on her own healing journey and decades of research and mentoring women worldwide, she has developed a comprehensive model that explores and offers tools/skills to heal the pervasive sense of unworthiness within women, what she calls the worthiness wound. She also hosts a weekly podcast RECLAIM where she offers conversations on finding the intersection of feminism and spirituality. Thais received a prestigious first-class degree in Management and has studied spiritual psychology, trauma, and leadership for over 10 years. You can learn more about her and her online offerings at ThaisSky.com and just about everywhere on social media, because #millennial at @IamThaisSky. Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's been two and a half years since I announced my separation and divorce on the podcast, and in this personal episode, I finally sit down to give the update I promised myself I'd share. What took so long? The answer, it turns out, is the very story I continue to tell… one of profound transformation, spiritual reckoning, and slowly coming home to myself. This episode is an honest, unscripted look at what a midlife awakening can actually look like from the inside. I walk through the intersection of perimenopause, my Chiron return in Aries, the end of my marriage, and the slow dismantling of long-held beliefs about myself and my life. I share five powerful relationship self-assessment questions, reflect on the mind-body connection between suppressed needs and physical illness (drawing from Dr. Gabor Maté's work), and speak directly to women who are in that uncertain, frozen place of not-yet-knowing what to do about their relationship. The throughline of the episode is this: follow the breadcrumbs, even when you can't see where they lead. Key takeaways from this episode: The five relationship self-assessment questions: If someone told you that you're a lot like your partner, would that feel like a compliment? Are you truly fulfilled in your relationship, or are you just less lonely? Are you able to be unapologetically yourself in your relationship, or do you feel you have to show up differently to please or accommodate your partner? Are you in love with your partner as they are right now — as a whole — or are you in love with their good side, their potential, or your idea of them? Would you want your child (real, future, or imagined) to date someone like your partner? The Chiron Return is an astrological transit in your late 40s to early 50s when the "wounded healer" planet returns to the position it occupied at your birth — and for those of us born between 1969–1976, it tends to arrive boldly and intensely. The mind-body connection is real — drawing from Dr. Gabor Maté's When the Body Says No, I highlight research linking higher rates of autoimmune disease and non-smoking-related cancers to chronically suppressing your own needs in a relationship. There are two very different kinds of easy — life can be logistically easier inside a relationship while quietly depleting you spiritually and physically, and it's worth asking which one you're actually experiencing. Midlife awakenings take longer than we expect — mine stretched across nearly a decade of incremental ruptures before I finally made the decision to leave my marriage in 2023. You are not alone — whether you're in the questioning stage, the frozen stage, or somewhere further down the road, it's all a normal and valid part of the journey. Follow the breadcrumbs — encouragement to ask smaller, more honest questions that move you incrementally forward toward the clarity you need. This episode is an invitation to anyone in the middle of their own becoming. Whether that looks like questioning a relationship, navigating midlife, or simply feeling the foundation shift beneath your feet like I did. My message is clear: what looks like falling apart is often falling open. The breadcrumbs are there. Keep following them. Resources:  Ep 540: Leaving My Marriage from July 2023 TikTok I mentioned that has those 5 questions When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté Single session to have your birth chart read. (P.S. I made a mistake in the episode when I said the price. Instead of pulling the episode and changing it, I will grant 5 people the discounted rate I mentioned at the end of episode 720. Once they are all booked, those discounted sessions will be gone and the regular price applies!)  Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joining me on the podcast this week is leading Latina psychotherapist, Christine Gutierrez, LHMC. Christine is the founder of Christineg.tv, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice. Christine also specializes in love addiction which happens to be the topic of today’s episode. In this episode, we talked about healing from love addiction, Christine’s own experience with it and how she now helps clients move through the healing process. We also touched on codependency and love addiction red flags. It’s clear through my conversation with Christine that she has worked hard and tirelessly on learning how to trust in herself and lean into her biggest self. I’m happy to share our conversation with you.  In this episode you’ll hear: What love addiction is, how Christine’s early childhood experiences ultimately led to love addiction, and how she got on the path to healing The distinction between healthy, falling in love and love addiction Some tips and tools for women struggling with love addiction Christine’s journey to helping other women heal, the merging of the mundane and divine and what the word Diosa means to her How to experience more fierce love in your life (and what fierce love is, exactly) Resources from this podcast:Christine’s websiteJoin my email list for info on upcoming writer’s program Christine Gutierrez, MA, LMHC, is a Latina licensed psychotherapist, self-worth expert, and thought leader. Gutierrez is also the author of the book I Am Worthy,  I Am Diosa: A Journey to Healing Deep, Loving Yourself, and Coming Back Home to Soul and the affirmation deck Wisdom Del Alma. Christine has a Bachelor’s degree from Fordham University in human behavior and development and a Master’s degree from City College of New York in mental health counseling with a focus on prevention and community. Through her work, Christine offers group coaching, corporate wellness, transformational retreats such as her annual Diosa Retreat in Puerto Rico, and soul-based business mentorship in her annual Madre Diosa Legacy Council. In addition, Christine is the founder of the forthcoming app DIOSA a global community where like-hearted women gather to meet soul sisters, gather in circle, and rise together. She has been featured on the Kelly Clarkson Show, Latina Magazine, Yahoo Health, Ebony, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, Oprah Magazine, Entertainment Online, Telemundo, and others. Christine currently resides in Puerto Rico.  Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Considering fascism is quickly taking hold more and more in the U.S. and beyond, I thought it would be a good idea to bring back my friend of the podcast, Beatriz Victoria Albina, to talk about nervous system healing and sexuality, emotional outsourcing and what sexuality has to do with fascism. From the start of the episode, Bea explains what trauma actually is in clear, everyday language without clinical jargon, and then we move into more nuanced topics. Béa is a master certified somatic life coach, UCSF-trained family nurse practitioner, and breath work meditation guide who helps humans socialized as women break free from codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing so they can reclaim their joy. A lot of what we cover in today’s episode shows up in her brand new book End Emotional Outsourcing.  Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:  Nervous system dysregulation can show up in our sex lives through anxiety, shutdown, performance pressure, and disconnection, while a regulated state supports safety, presence, and genuine pleasure. Developmental trauma and chronic stress shape how we show up sexually, influencing our capacity for trust, intimacy, and embodiment. Fawning can show up in the bedroom when someone prioritizes their partner’s needs, desires, or approval over their own authentic experience. Dissociation and emotional outsourcing can even show up during masturbation, pulling us out of presence with our own bodies and pleasure. Reclaiming sexuality often begins when we stop outsourcing our emotional safety to partners and start building that safety within ourselves. The common advice to “stop worrying about what other people think” oversimplifies the deeper nervous system and relational dynamics that shape our behavior. Emotional safety and connection in a relationship often need to be addressed alongside sexual intimacy rather than waiting for one to be “fixed” before the other. Authoritarian cultural systems can shape our relationship to sexuality by policing bodies, pleasure, and autonomy. Many of us internalize these systems in our own bodies—creating self-policing patterns around desire, pleasure, and expression—and healing involves consciously deconstructing those patterns. As a reminder, please join me on my Substack! I'm writing about topics like this, poetry, and everything in between. Resources from this episode:Get my emails so you won’t miss the writing program I’m teaching with Shannon Kaiser Connect with me on my Substack, How Very Human of YouBea’s previous interview on Make Some NoiseEnd Emotional Outsourcing book Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this solo episode, I’m unpacking the silence, the rage, and the tension showing up in conversations around the Epstein files and patriarchy. The idea came to me after I got a thinly veiled death threat in my DM’s a couple of weeks ago (you can scroll through the carousel of memes I posted in the link below to see it). I’m exploring what’s underneath the harassment, the absence/silence of men in certain spaces, and why shame is such a powerful, and often invisible, force in all of it. I also want to remind you that I’m on Substack! It’s not perfect over there, but I decided to start before I was ready. You can check out some of my writing and subscribe HERE. No paywall as of now, but that may change later as I write more. I have no plans to put the podcast behind a paywall though!  What you’ll hear in this solo episode:  When systems are exposed, identities feel threatened and shame gets activated. The difference between and shame and guilt, and how it’s organized by gender Shame shows up as silence, defensiveness, or aggression. Patriarchy shames everyone, it just looks different for men and women. Questions you can ask the men in your life to start having important conversations with them.  Accountability requires learning how to feel shame without collapsing or lashing out. This isn’t about defending men or attacking them. It’s about understanding the emotional dynamics at play. Because if we don’t name the shame woven into our culture, we’ll keep reacting to surface behavior instead of addressing the root. Resources from this episode:Devotion programAndrea’s Substack, How Very Human of YouSign up for my emailsInstagram reel about men and shame Instagram reel that contains a terrible message from a random man on the internetFour Holy Emotions episode on SpotifyDocumentaries I mentioned Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I’m bringing back an important conversation from the archives. Dr. Valerie discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) and created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment by healing the collective, inherited trauma of oppression. She is also the author of Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment. I met Dr. Valerie at an event late last year. I serendipitously sat at her table and as she was talking about her work and her book, I was enamored. In fact, I invited her onto the podcast on the spot. Her work is important, interesting, and backed by science. When it comes to the patriarchy, as women, there is a deeper issue going on then the blame game. We are not going to heal by pointing fingers. My conversation with Dr. Valerie is just one step of many that will help move women towards healing from the patriarchy. In this episode you’ll hear: How Dr. Valerie discovered PSD and how her search began with asking the question, “What is wrong with me?” Oppression is traumatic and it is deep in our DNA Patriarchy does not equal men and men do not equal patriarchy, patriarchy is a system that has been oppressive and disempowering to women PSD is the invisible inner barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment and trauma defenses: mind, body, and action Some of the symptoms or circumstances of PSD (and yes, we all have it) Dr. Valerie’s message to men and how to bring them into the conversation and still take care of ourselves Resources mentioned in this episode: Devotion program Andrea’s Substack, How Very Human of You Sign up for my emails Instagram reel about men and shame Dr. Valerie Rein’s websiteDr. Valerie’s 3 Minute Re-Power ToolDr. Valerie on InstagramBook: Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment  Dr. Valerie Rein has discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) and created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment by healing the collective, inherited trauma of oppression. She holds an EdM in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University and a PhD in Psychology from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Her bestselling book, “Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment” and her cutting-edge mind-body healing programs have helped thousands of women ditch the game of survival, of “how much can I bear?” and master the game of thriving, of “how good can it get?” Dr. Valerie is a sought-after speaker and trainer at conferences and companies committed to setting new standards of excellence in their industry in diversity, equity, and inclusion, employee satisfaction and physical and mental health, and creativity and innovation. Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I turned the mic on a few days ago and this episode is a bit of an update. I don’t know about you, but recently I haven’t been able to think about or process much else except what’s happening in the U.S. and beyond.  This episode is me slowly telling you what’s been happening behind the scenes recently, as well as over the last few years. Soon, I won’t be so vague, as I’ll be able to reveal more about what’s happened to me, and what it’s taught me. The good news about me is that I can take the terrible and sometimes traumatic things and turn them into personal power.  If you’re going through what I’m going through, feeling re-traumatized having to hear what has happened and continues to happen to women and children, not just here, but worldwide, I’m sure you might be experiencing the 4 holy emotions: Terror, rage, shame, and grief. All at once, or one at a time.  I see you, and I feel you. I’m thinking of you, and holding you in my heart. Together, we can create collective power in order to take the system down. I truly believe there are more than us than there are of them.  Here's what you’ll hear in this week’s episode:  A prayer/intention that I didn’t know I set into motion in 2019 and how it’s impacted me even now  Chiron (returning planet in our astrological chart) returned for me recently and what that is  The online harassment I’ve been receiving lately specifically because I’ve been speaking out against ICE and what’s happening with the release of some of the Epstein files Why I start to obsess on the psychology of women like Pam Bondi, and my opinion about her  The one suggestion I have for you right now in order to help you feel the feelings you’re experiencing right now Resources:⁠ How Very Human of You (my new Substack)Restraint by FATM on SpotifyRestraint by FATM on Apply MusicEpisode 659 on The Four Holy EmotionsThe Mama Attorney’s post on Instagram Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. ⁠Check out these amazing book recommendations here⁠. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode is a little more raw, a little more unfiltered, and very much from the heart. After taking an unexpected week off, I sat down, turned on the microphone, and spoke honestly about what’s been weighing on me, personally, culturally, and collectively. This episode is part reflection, part reckoning, and part creative release. I talk openly about what it means to lead with courage instead of pretending to be fearless, especially during times that feel heavy, chaotic, or emotionally charged. We explore spiritual bypassing, tone policing, and the subtle ways women are often encouraged to stay quiet, stay pleasant, and stay in line. This episode also includes a poem I wrote late at night, born from grief, anger, and deep compassion for women whose stories are resurfacing yet again. It’s an offering, a witnessing, and a reminder of the power of art to hold what words alone sometimes cannot. Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode: Why I took a break last week and what brought me back to the mic What spiritual bypassing really looks like and why it’s harmful, especially to women and trauma survivors How tone policing and “positive vibes only” culture reinforce patriarchy and silence truth Why emotions like anger, fear, and grief are not negative, just human How emotions act as information and energy meant to move, not be buried Why speaking up now feels necessary, even when it’s uncomfortable A deeply personal poem about collective grief, survival, and the resilience of women This episode is an invitation to let yourself feel what you feel without fixing, forcing, or bypassing your own experience. If you’re carrying a lot right now, my hope is that this conversation helps you feel less alone and maybe encourages you to make something meaningful from what you’re holding. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for bearing witness.  Resources: How to Stop Feeling Like Sht* Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m writing these “show notes” to you on Saturday, January 23rd as I prepare for what appears to be a terrible storm in North Carolina. A week ago I returned home from a much different place, Costa Rica. I was back at Rythmia, sitting with the medicine that is Ayahuasca. I left a week of healing, and came back to a new storm, one in the form of snow, rain, and ice, as well as another ICE storm in Minneapolis.  I turned on my microphone and talked for about 22 minutes. It’s just started to sleet as I type this to you, so I’m keeping this email short as I’ll likely lose power here for a couple of days. Coincidentally, I talk about power in this episode.  Thank you for your time, and if you’re in the eye of this upcoming storm, I’m sending you love.  Resources from this episode:Discount link to RythmiaFlorence + The Machine’s Choreomania on Spotify Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/podcast/713 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have a coaching episode for you today, and I’m joined by Lisa. When she filled out her coaching application, she shared an honest snapshot of where she was at the time: “I think I need coaching on the fear and anger I have for starting over at this point in time. The world is scary, men suck, work is slim, my friends feel different now that I am single.” In this poignant conversation, Lisa and I talk about what it really looks like to start over after a 26-year long marriage and how disorienting that in between season can feel. Especially when your identity, your relationships, and your sense of safety all feel up in the air, all at the same time. We explore grief in a way most people do not talk about it, not just the hard parts but the beautiful parts that are just as painful to let go of, and how creativity, boundaries, and honest conversations can become your way back to yourself when everything feels uncertain. In this episode, you’ll hear: What it really means to grieve the joy of what you once had (11:50) How internal pressure about “what’s next” can keep you stuck (19:37) Why creativity and art are not indulgent but essential tools for processing emotions (27:32) How feeling your feelings is not a weakness but a form of emotional hygiene (32:40) Writing prompts to help Lisa move closer to her grief and begin healing:  “What is stopping you from looking underneath the grief?” (39:20) Having hard conversations with friends and how setting boundaries with compassion can strengthen your relationships instead of breaking them (44:44) Resources from this episode: Write Your Way Through It  Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ http://andreaowen.com/podcast/712 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices