Episode 639: Building Shame Resilience

Another minisode for you! This week, I’m diving into the habit of taking things personally—something I’ve covered in my book How to Stop Feeling Like Shit. This is part one of a two-part series, where I focus on how we tend to internalize feedback, silence, rejection, and even others’ successes as reflections of our own worth. Taking things personally can chip away at our self-worth and confidence over time and lead us down a path of shame. So in this episode, I talk about why awareness is the first step in breaking these patterns. I also discuss why the advice to "just stop taking things personally" often doesn’t help. It’s so much more nuanced than that, and this work is unique to each person. So today, I’m identifying 10 specific ways we commonly make things personal—even when they aren’t. What you’ll hear in this minisode:  Why self-awareness is key to understanding personal triggers How we assume criticism means "I’m not good enough" Taking silence or short responses as signs of rejection Overinterpreting others’ moods as something about us Comparing ourselves to others’ praise or successes Feeling rejected when others set boundaries The impact of social media comparisons I hope this episode brings some clarity on ways you might be personalizing situations that don’t actually reflect on you. Next time, I’ll be diving into practical solutions for letting go of this habit. Thanks for listening, and remember—our life's journey is to make ourselves better humans, and our responsibility is to make the world a better place. See you in part two! Resources from this episode:  Daring Way Retreat is opening SOON!  How to Stop Feeling Like Shit Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/640 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re flipping the script this week! Past guest Hunter Clarke-Fields interviews me on how to develop shame resilience and break free from the shame-driven cycles we often pass on to our kids. Originally aired on The Mindful Parenting Podcast, this conversation dives into the work of handling shame, building self-compassion, and modeling emotional resilience for our children.  We also touch on ways to create boundaries, make peace with people-pleasing, and teach kids to navigate their emotions with empathy. I hope you enjoy this special crossover episode, where Hunter’s thoughtful questions bring out new perspectives. You’ll hear: Shame resilience—why it’s essential in parenting and personal growth (4:36) How to recognize and shift out of people-pleasing patterns (25:12) Defining healthy boundaries and why they matter (27:34) Teaching emotional resilience and empathy to kids without shame (35:37) Why 'giving zero Fs' is harming us (41:43) Resources: Early bird registration for the Daring Way Retreat opens soon - sign up for the interest list for more information! Episode 604: Reparenting and Mindful Parenting with Hunter Clarke-Fields Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/639 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're re-airing an episode with one of my favorite guests - Charlie Gilkey! Charlie offers valuable insights that apply to anyone looking to get more done, whether you're a business owner or simply navigating the demands of everyday life. Who doesn’t want to be more productive? Am I right?  As a sought-after advisor and speaker, Charlie shares his wisdom on overcoming overwhelm and overload, why we tend to neglect self-care, and practical time-blocking strategies to boost productivity. Listen in as we revisit our conversation on the behaviors that sabotage productivity, how to handle those “WTF” moments, and the importance of staying present. You’ll hear: Combatting overwhelm by looking at your ‘overload’ (5:04) Time blocking and how it can be used to help us be more productive (6:02) Illuminating “invisible tasks”, such as turning off the lights or cleaning up after your family (9:05) Why self-care is typically last on our to-do list and the first to get pushed off (12:55) Courage, boundaries, and discipline; how they relate to each other (21:59) Resources: ✨ Get coached on the podcast for free – apply here! Charlie’s website Time Blocking Resources and Scheduler Andrea on Charlie’s Podcast, Productive Flourishing Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/638 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Building self-trust can feel like a monumental task, especially if you’ve been second-guessing yourself or holding back from taking real action. In today’s episode, I’m sharing a simple, no-fluff process to strengthen your trust in yourself and create a foundation you can rely on. It’s about moving from self-doubt to solid self-belief, step by step. We’ll walk through five powerful practices to help you connect to your inner confidence and self-trust. I’m also breaking down the BRAVING acronym to give you a framework for building trust with yourself as you navigate life’s challenges. Whether you’re feeling uncertain, overwhelmed, or just unsure of your next move, these steps will help you get grounded and reconnect with your own inner guidance. Key Takeaways from this minisode: Embracing Self-Reflection: I share the importance of checking in with ourselves regularly to understand how our inner dialogue might be affecting our confidence. The Role of Boundaries in Self-Trust: Establishing boundaries—especially in areas where we tend to people-please—plays a huge part in reinforcing our trust in ourselves. Commitment to Small Steps: Building self-trust doesn’t require a major life overhaul; it’s about committing to small, daily actions that remind us of our capability. Recognizing Self-Doubt Patterns: I discuss common patterns that sabotage self-trust, like overthinking and perfectionism, and how to start letting them go. Reinforcing Self-Trust Through Accountability: Sharing our intentions with others can be a powerful motivator and builds trust in ourselves to follow through. Building self-trust doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It’s often the result of small, steady actions that add up over time. Using the BRAVING acronym is a powerful tool to remind yourself of how to nurture that trust, even when things feel uncertain. Remember, this journey is about honoring your own worth—keep choosing yourself, one step at a time. Resources from this episode: Get coached on the podcast – apply here! Brené’s episode on trust Braving acronym PDF Getting Damn Good at Life Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/637 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have another re-broadcast episode for you. It is one of my most listened-to episodes. Shannon Kaiser is the wisest, compassionate human - so I am not surprised! Sharon is the bestselling author of five books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment, including the #1 bestseller, The Self-Love Experiment and Adventures for Your Soul. Her book, Joy Seeker: Let Go of What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Were Made For, is available this week!  It is always a pleasure to talk to this amazing lady.  Today we talk about joy, spirituality, and authentic living. As you will hear, the underlying message to our conversation is, permitting yourself to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. We talk about how women can work to trust and believe in themselves, how to live more authentically, and how to speak your truth. As Shannon said so perfectly during our time together, “It all comes back to living your life from a place of integrity, a place of truth, and a place of honesty; that is the true joy.” You’ll hear: What led Shannon to write Joy Seeker and how her experiences appear throughout it (5:01) Ask yourself, “What have you always wanted to do but have not given yourself permission to do?” (6:57) How women can work to trust and believe in themselves and how we can follow our hearts and our dreams; plus ask yourself, “What dream keeps coming back to you?” (9:04) Being in gratitude and exploring gratitude practices (28:53) How losing what you love most can help you find what you need and honoring your grief (31:35) Letting go of who you think you're supposed to be so you can be who you’re meant to be (36:05) Resources: ✨ Get coached on the podcast for free - apply here! Shannon’s website Shannon’s new book Episode 165: The Self-Love Experiment with Shannon Kaiser Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/636 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ready to tap into your Big Energy and find out why it's the most important edge you have? Erin King, a motivational speaker, bestselling author, and expert in personal energy management, is back with actionable strategies to help you manage your energy and show up as your best self. With Erin's guidance, you'll learn how to power through less and power up more. “Energy never lies—it’s the last truth-teller we can trust.” In this episode, Erin shows us that Big Energy isn’t about being the loudest or the one with the most hustle—it’s about finding your strength, owning it, and showing up at your best. She walks us through how to find your energy type and then tap into it. She also shares why it’s not about making big life changes, but instead tuning into your intuition, and making small, manageable changes that stick. You’ll hear: Unlocking Your Big Energy with Erin's tips on creating those "at your best" moments instead of waiting for them (4:43) Discovering the five key energy types and how to find yours (11:53) How to balance being bold and confident without coming off as “too much” (14:54) Big Energy is not about how loud you are, how bossy, or how much you hustle (24:15) Becoming a Big Energy Being by focusing on what you can control and letting go of the rest (26:32) Exploring the emotional side of Big Energy and how your feelings fuel your vibe (31:34) Resources: Sign up for early notification for the next Daring Way™ retreat Erin’s website The Energy Exam Erin on Instagram @mrs.erin.king Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/635 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week’s *Make Some Noise* minisode (#634) is a deep dive into rewiring our brains to help break free from negative self-talk. If you're ready to change how you see yourself and step into a more compassionate mindset, this episode is for you! Let’s take a look at the key takeaways:  🧠 Rewiring Your Brain to Get What You Want   I start by breaking down how you can reshape your thought patterns and create new neural pathways to overcome self-doubt and self-criticism.  🚩 The Power of Self-Awareness   Noticing the moments when negative self-talk happens is crucial. I explain how developing awareness is the first step to making meaningful changes. 💡 Pattern Interrupt: Stop Negative Thinking in Its Tracks   Learn about using visual or mental "pattern interrupters" (think stop signs or neutral thoughts) to break the cycle of self-defeating thoughts.  🔄 Course Correction: Shifting to Empowering Thoughts   Once you’ve interrupted your negative thought pattern, I explain how to course correct and reframe your thoughts to build self-compassion and resilience. Rewiring your brain takes practice, patience, and grace—especially when you’re hard on yourself (as most of us are!). In this minisode I also talk about how self-compassion has transformed my life and how it can do the same for you. If you want to dive deeper into this work with me, check out my 1:1 coaching or upcoming retreats here. Resources Sign up for early notification for The Daring Way Retreat Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/634 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wonder if you’re being gaslit by a partner, friend, or even a politician? Dr. Robin Stern is here to explain how to recognize the signs of gaslighting and take back control of your reality.  Robin Stern, Ph.D. is the co-founder and senior advisor to the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. With 30 years of experience as a licensed psychoanalyst, Robin is the leading expert on gaslighting. She’s also the author of The Gaslight Effect and The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide. In this episode, Robin helps us unpack the complexities of gaslighting and its stages, explains political gaslighting, and offers some steps toward reclaiming your power. You’ll hear: The three stages of gaslighting: disbelief, defense, and depression (5:55) How gaslighters use precise manipulation to control their targets (12:44) The five key signs that a politician is using gaslighting tactics (19:34) How to reclaim your power when you feel like you’re being gaslit (22:50) The overuse of words like "trauma" and "gaslighting" is diluting their impact (30:13) Advice on staying gaslight-free by trusting your instincts and setting clear boundaries (34:44) Resources: Sign up for early notification for the next Daring Way™ retreat Robin’s website Misuse of therapy words Political Gaslighting Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/633 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we’re rebroadcasting one of our most popular episodes featuring the amazing Kara Loewentheil! Kara is a Master Certified Coach who transitioned from a legal career to life coaching, using her expertise in feminist theory to help women break free from the patriarchy’s mental grip. She’s also the host of the podcast Unf*ck Your Brain and an all-around powerhouse. In this episode, we dive into the social messaging women receive and how it fuels our self-critical thoughts. Kara shares the transformative work she does to help women reshape their thinking and reclaim their self-perception. I’m excited to reintroduce you to Kara—enjoy the conversation! You’ll hear: How women’s inner critic and feelings of inadequacy stem directly from the patriarchy (5:03) Why you can’t simply “be nicer” to yourself to quiet the inner critic (11:31) Kara’s approach to thought work, especially for those who’ve experienced trauma, and why it's such a personal process (15:26) The idea of “believing harder” to boost self-confidence and tackle insecurity (20:35) The disconnect between women’s actions toward their goals and what’s holding them back (25:29) Kara’s take on beauty standards, diet culture, and the impact they have on women (31:50) Resources: Sign up for early notification for the next Daring Way™ retreat Kara’s Website Unf*ck Your Brain Podcast Kara on Instagram Episode 259: Challenging Cultural Beauty and Wellness Standards with Melissa Toler Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/632 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I’m rebroadcasting a minisode where I explore a powerful concept from relationship experts John and Julie Gottman. The Gottmans introduced the idea of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and it has helped me personally in my relationships a great deal.  In this minisode, I break down each Horseman, share real-life examples, and provide a resource to help you apply the antidotes to these common behaviors. It's simple but deeply impactful. Resources: Private Coaching with Andrea Article on the four horsemen The four horsemen antidotes Article on physiological flooding Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: http://andreaowen.com/631 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices