Medieval Militaries 2: Johnny Appleseed for Gunpowder

folks, we are back for part 2 of this woefully short series on Medieval military evolution in the Old World and it's time to talk about gunpowder. probably the single most important invention ever but it didn't follow the normal formula for these things, instead sitting on the shelf as a elixir for eternal life before being adopted for military application by increasingly desperate Chinese states. however, it would be the Mongols who spread the message of gunpowder across all of the Old World and it would change the face of Medieval society along with it.cover image is from a 1398 series by Jean Froissart, this one showing cannons being used during the Battle of Nicopolis

folks, we don't talk about military history all that much on the show except as an aspect of the overall narratives and histories we tell. however, we do sometimes have to talk about it specifically because it is both interesting and necessary to understanding things. it's not the end-all, be-all, most important thing ever as it is sometimes portrayed but, ya know, you can't fully enforce your politics from the throne, now can you? that monopoly of violence is there for a reason. anyway, we start a two-part series talking about the evolutions of Medieval armies in Afroeurasia. this time, we talk about why the size of European armies dropped so drastically following the fall of Western Rome (while Eastern Rome and Asia did not), how was military training accomplished on a macro level, why the Crusades acted as a kickstarter to future European military endeavors, and more! next time: gunpowder! enjoy.cover image is part of an illuminated manuscript by Jean Froissart about the Battle of Crecy

folks, we have referenced it a couple of times but now it's finally time to focus on the Mesopotamian Afterlife, including their underworld and ghosts. we talk about how they formed their conception of the afterlife, what it looked like, the bizarre and unfair punishments received depending on how you die, leaving milk and cookies out for Gilgamesh, the quite beautiful and tender reception that babies receive, the social reinforcement these rules provided, using the Epic of Gilgamesh as a template, and more. Oh, and just one rule: no fires. No but for real, no fucking fires, don't you dare light a single fire ever, I don't care if it's what allows to stay up later at night and cook our food, no goddamn fire, ever! not even once!cover image is something I found on a site called pngtree that said it was free to use

folks, just as the ancient prophecies foretold, we're back for a second September mailbag episode. we dive back into the patrons questions again to talk about the 90's comedy Sister Act, treatments for very small injuries, the survival of the Hungarian language, pipe smoking in the Old World, Medieval home decor, what constitutes a colony, and more!cover image is a promotional image for the 1992 film Sister Act, starring Whoopi Goldberg and Maggie Smith

folks, we are back with another mailbag episode for your enjoyment! we take patron questions about source survival, Tolkien as a medievalist, mercenaries, old primary sources, world peace, and more!cover image is a bottle of Costco's Kirkland's Signature branded Chateauneuf du Pape, 2023 vintage I found online

(00:00:00) Intro - A tales of 2 online interactions (00:06:32) What is hegemony, what does it mean for a Church to be hegemonic? (00:14:29) Hegemony can't override individual interpretations of the Bible (00:29:02) The Gregorian Reforms and the blunders that led to the crackdowns (00:40:00) When the Church changed on: clerical celibacy, just war theory, enslaving other Christians, Pagan and Muslim toleration, (00:51:03) When the Church changed on: mystery plays, folk saints, anchorites, vernacular bibles, witchcraft, poor orders, indulgen folks, we talk a lot about the hegemony of the Catholic Church in Medieval Europe but what does that mean, exactly? we know the early Medieval Church had a less firm hand on many issues while the late Medieval Church was the hegemonic behemoth we all remember, but why did this change and when did it happen? and, regardless of anything else, even if the Church has hegemony over Europe, that does very little to actually ensure people don't stray too far from orthodoxy given how personal and neurotic everyone's religious interpretations are. we talk about all this, the blunders that led the Church to crackdown on so many things, and when they actually began to change their theology to accommodate this new, more heavy-handed approach.cover image is a meme I made based on a screen from the Simpsons

folks, the new movie Uprising, starring Andrew Garfield, is supposed to be released in a week and yet, the film's entire marketing scheme was thrown into chaos when a seemingly unauthorized trailer linking the film to Robin Hood was published online. the production company has since confirmed that the film is based on Wat Tyler and the Peasant's Uprising of 1381 but that has still led many to question the origins of Robin Hood. so we talk about this movie marketing disaster, the origins of Robin Hood, how he is definitively not based on a real individual and is most certainly not Wat Tyler, and more. enjoy!cover image is a still of Andrew Garfield as Wat Tyler in The Uprising

(00:00:00) Cold Open - Civ 7 and more ghosts (00:10:07) Patron questions - Weird Italian perverts and Papal naming conventions (00:24:05) Intro (00:26:05) Viking Textile Industries (00:31:57) Central Europe had 16 catastrophic floods in 2 years (00:40:29) Bayeux Tapestry returns to England (00:47:07) Alchemy is totally vindicated (01:04:39) Death by Trebuchet folks, there's recently been a spate of Medieval news that is interesting enough to include in podcast form and so we decide to talk about it. admittedly, some of it is not the most glamorous but it all greatly informs our understanding of the Medieval world, also death by trebuchet. we cover 5 topics: Viking textile industry, 2 years of catastrophic flooding in Central Europe, England bending the knee to get the Bayeux Tapestry back, the total vindication of alchemy, and, well, death by trebuchet!Viking textile industry: https://archaeologymag.com/2026/06/viking-textile-production-center-near-aarhus/Catastrophic European flooding 1341-43: https://www.science.org/content/article/medieval-europe-was-battered-16-catastrophic-floods-just-2-yearsBayeux Tapestry in England: https://www.artforum.com/news/british-culture-official-proposed-for-bayeux-tapestry-loan-1234756775/Alchemy: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/gold-big-bang-theory-large-hadron-collider-b3033578.htmlTrebuchet guy https://www.science.org/content/article/shattered-skeleton-scottish-castle-first-confirmed-death-trebuchetcover image is a skeleton preserved with a stone crushing its head, revealed during the excavation of Pompei. yes, I said it was a meme but it's actually real

folks, some of our patrons requested that we do tier list rankings of the popes and we are so happy to oblige, you have no idea. however, we can't do all 267 at once or even in a row but we can start with some smaller chunks and so we decided to rank the seven popes of the Avignon Papacy and the two antipopes in Avignon during the Western Schism. see where we rank them all from S down to F and let us know if you agree. we've Black Death popes and lawyer antipopes and nearly reuniting the Catholic and Orthodox churches popes, it's a lot of fun.

folks, today we tackle longtime frenemy of the podcast: Peter Abelard. he's a very interesting historical figure for his positively cutting edge ideas in numerous fields of study and is singled out and oppressed by the Church and clergy but he's also most famous for an extremely problematic relationship with his lifelong love, Heloise, a probably underage girl and definitely his student and underling. it's real land of contrasts hours here, folks.cover image is a medieval manuscript drawing of Abelard and Heloise from the cover of the Penguin classics edition of The Letters of Abelard and Heloise