435. Coaching Hotline: Regretting Years in Therapy & Dealing with Romantic Rejection

Enroll now in Create More Confidence, happening on December 8-10, 2025. This mini coaching immersion is designed to: (1) help you vision your goals for 2026 and (2) zero in on which confidence skills you need to build to achieve them. Training calls take place at 12 p.m. ET each day.VIP calls take place at 1 p.m. ET each day.Click here to sign up: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/cmc

We hear a lot about self esteem these days. Why it matters, how to get more of it, and what it means when you feel like you do not have enough. Most people think that improving their self esteem will automatically make them more confident, but to create real and lasting confidence, they are missing something essential: self belief. In this episode, I am breaking down the difference between the two and explaining why self belief is the skill that actually moves your life forward. You will also learn why your brain resists confidence in the first place and how to work through the fears that keep you playing small. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/442Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confident

When you're building a business, raising a family, or navigating relationships, those uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or betrayal feel like roadblocks. But what if they're actually signposts pointing you toward exactly what you need to examine? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that dig into the messy, uncomfortable territory of growth. First, I'm sharing the specific thoughts that took me to the million-dollar mark by year three of my business. Then I'm answering a question from a listener who agreed to let her partner sleep with someone else and now feels consumed by regret and betrayal. Tune in to hear how the thoughts creating your biggest challenges often contain the seeds of your breakthrough. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/441Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you worry that if you practice self-compassion, you’ll stop getting things done or start letting yourself off the hook? This is a common fear, and it comes from confusing self-compassion with self-pity. In this episode, I’m teaching the second skill of the Confidence Compass: self-compassion. You’ll learn how self-pity, self-criticism, and self-compassion form a spectrum, and why real confidence comes from balancing self-awareness with empathy. I’ll show you how self-compassion allows you to meet yourself honestly and kindly while still taking responsibility for your growth and evolution. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/440Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Most of your thoughts are running on autopilot, shaping how you feel and act without you even realizing it. The good news is that you can learn to access those unconscious thoughts and bring them into your awareness, but only if you know how to look for them. This week, I’m answering two questions that get right to the heart of this work: how to uncover hidden thought patterns and how to stop feeling overwhelmed when you want to change everything at once. You’ll learn the simplest daily practice for making your unconscious thoughts visible, why confusion is your brain’s favorite form of procrastination, and how to get out of the “I have too much to fix” mindset that keeps you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/439Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I thought I was deeply self-aware. I’d read the books, gone to therapy, and could explain all my patterns in perfect detail. But nothing was really changing. It wasn’t until I learned what self-awareness actually means and why understanding your story isn’t the same as understanding your mind that I finally started to experience change. In this episode, I’m teaching the first skill of the Confidence Compass: true self-awareness. You’ll learn why intellectual insight doesn’t create transformation and how to uncover the subconscious thoughts that are really driving your feelings and actions. I’ll share examples from my own life and my clients, from dating anxiety to money blocks, to show how powerful this shift can be. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/438Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

In this week’s Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two questions that get to the core of how we manage our minds. The first explores how to handle phobias, like the fear of flying, and panic attacks by changing our relationship with anxiety itself. The second dives into a meta question about thought work: could managing our thoughts turn us into sociopaths? A listener draws parallels to Elizabeth Holmes and the Theranos scandal, wondering if there's a line between healthy thought management and dangerous self-deception. You'll discover why accepting anxiety instead of resisting it changes everything, and how true thought work differs from ego-driven deception.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/437Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

You’ve hit the milestones: the degree, the dream job, the relationship that looks right on paper. But no matter how much you achieve, that deep sense of confidence still feels out of reach. That isn’t because you’re missing something; it’s because we’ve all been taught to think about confidence the wrong way. Tune in this week to discover what The Confidence Compass is and how it brings together everything I’ve learned over a decade of teaching women how to live boldly and feel grounded in who they are. This framework will help you finally build a confident life, one where you stop chasing approval and start feeling fully alive. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/436Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

You’ve done the therapy, read the books, and gained awareness, but the same anxious thoughts still run the show. This week’s Coaching Hotline episode dives into why understanding your patterns isn’t enough to change them and what’s really required to create lasting emotional shifts. I help one listener who’s been through years of therapy without relief and another who’s stuck chasing validation after a breakup. Tune in to learn why insight alone doesn’t rewire your brain, how to move from self-awareness to self-mastery, and why rejection or stuckness never means you’re broken. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/435Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Most people think confidence is just about feeling good about yourself, but that is only the beginning. In this episode, I am revisiting one of the most important concepts I have ever taught: what true confidence actually is, and what it is not. When you stop thinking of confidence as a fleeting feeling and start seeing it as a mindset and a relationship with yourself, everything changes. Listen in as I explore how women are socialized to doubt themselves, why that erodes confidence, and what true confidence requires of you.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/434Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/