184. Hope, Healing, and the Bucket List You Didn't Know You Needed with Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo

Struggling to find motivation in recovery, or trying to make sense of what keeps people pushing through something as painful as an eating disorder, opens a door to a much deeper conversation. This episode steps right through that door. In this episode, we welcome back a longtime favorite guest: Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo, a neuropsychiatrist and internationally known educator whose work sits at the intersection of brain science, mental health, and eating disorder treatment. If you've heard his previous episodes, you already know that he has a profound ability to make complex neuroscience feel not just understandable, but actionable. This time, he brings something new, something that might seem unexpected coming from a neuroscientist: the science of a bucket list. And no, not the Hollywood version. Not skydiving. Not "visit Paris." Something far more foundational. Tweetable Quotes "It's okay to be skeptical because that's part of it." - Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo "Recovery kind of involves helping the brain remember how to feel that, that curiosity, pleasure, connection, and flexibility again." - Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo "When you go places, and you meet different people with different cultures, the one thing I have learned… it has helped tolerability." - Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo "We're programmed, and we don't even know we're being programmed to think and, more importantly, to react." - Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo "Your brain is always changing." - Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo Resources Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!  Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo's YouTube Channel Dr. Jeffrey DeSarbo's Website   LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

Whether you're supporting others or navigating your own process, this episode offers language and perspective to help you sit with the messiness rather than fear it. In this episode, we slow down to explore why ambivalence exists, what it reveals about our experiences, and why it's a doorway rather than a roadblock. We unpack the deeper meaning behind body goals, what thinness represents, the safety it promises, and why those promises feel so powerful even when they aren't rooted in truth. You'll learn how to face fear without bypassing it, and why sitting with discomfort is often the catalyst for real change. Tweetable Quotes "When somebody has an attachment to a certain body size or shape, it's because it means something and it represents something." - Rachelle Heinemann "Ambivalence is when you want two things that contradict each other, where there are opposites at the same time. This is literally the purpose of therapy is to work through ambivalence." - Rachelle Heinemann "The reason why we get stuck is because of ambivalence. It's because we want two things at the same time, and they're contradicting each other, and we cannot move forward." - Rachelle Heinemann "What if we stopped treating body goals as something to take apart or dismantle? And if we started seeing them as something to understand, something to explore?" - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

If you've ever wondered why PCOS feels so confusing, why the symptoms don't line up, why the advice is contradictory, why the solutions feel like guesswork, you're not imagining it. That's exactly why I brought back Julie Duffy Dillon, registered dietitian, author, and host of Find Your Food Voice, to cut through the noise. Julie has a rare way of talking about PCOS that immediately makes your shoulders drop: it's science-based, deeply compassionate, and totally free of judgment or quick fixes.  Tweetable Quotes " So many people are led to believe that it's just a problem with their ovaries, but really, PCOS is an endocrine disorder that starts in the brain, not in the ovaries. It's something that someone's born with and they're, they die with it too." - Julie Duffy Dillon "We don't have a lot of research. Doctors don't always have the answers, and there's a lot of weight bias in there, too. And unfortunately, most people just know about the reproductive interventions. They don't know about all the other ones." - Julie Duffy Dillon "I do feel like with PCOS, you have to advocate for yourself more. It's annoying." - Julie Duffy Dillon "PCOS is the number one cause of anovulatory infertility." - Julie Duffy Dillon " If you're eating enough with PCOS, adding movement is something that can really help with your insulin levels. But if you are someone who's painfully tired or your insulin levels are really high, so you have these cravings all the time, adding exercise or movement is just gonna make things worse." - Julie Duffy Dillon Resources Julie's Website: https://julieduffydillon.com/ Free Tools: https://julieduffydillon.com/voice/ Julie's Podcast: https://julieduffydillon.com/podcast/ Book: https://julieduffydillon.com/book/ Book bonus downloads: https://findyourfoodvoicebook.com PCOS Membership: https://julieduffydillon.com/pcos-power-course/ Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode! Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

Relapse isn't the end of recovery. It's part of it. There's this moment that happens for so many people in recovery, that sinking feeling when you realize some of those old patterns have crept back in. Maybe it's skipping a meal. Maybe it's the familiar swirl of guilt, shame, or perfectionism. Whatever form it takes, relapse can feel like you've failed. Like everything you've worked so hard for just… disappeared. Listen to the full episode to learn how to meet relapse with curiosity, connect with what it's trying to teach you, and continue forward on your path to healing. Tweetable Quotes "Relapse isn't the end of recovery, guys. It's not the end of the road. It's a moment in it." - Rachelle Heinemann "We're not going to label it as a success or failure, but we're going to explore it." - Rachelle Heinemann "Is the body communicating something that the mind can't yet say?" - Rachelle Heinemann "Even if it feels like you revisit the same old place, you are there with a lot more awareness and capacity than you have in the past." - Rachelle Heinemann "Recovery happens in connection. Recovery cannot happen outside of connection." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected] Thank you to our sponsors! This episode includes paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.   Hidden River Healing provides compassionate, residential eating disorder treatment for girls, adolescents, and young women. Their expert clinical team emphasizes family involvement and individualized care in a beautifully designed facility surrounded by nature — a peaceful environment that supports recovery and lasting healing. Program Highlights: Specialized care for ages 8 and up, including a dedicated house for Emerging Adults (21+) and Mid-Life Adults In-network with most commercial insurances Ability to treat NG tube patients Learn more: hiddenriverhealing.com/about-us Follow on Instagram: @hiddenrivertx   NOTE: We will be taking next week off for Thanksgiving. See you in December!

Relapse isn't the end of recovery. It's part of it. There's this moment that happens for so many people in recovery, that sinking feeling when you realize some of those old patterns have crept back in. Maybe it's skipping a meal. Maybe it's the familiar swirl of guilt, shame, or perfectionism. Whatever form it takes, relapse can feel like you've failed. Like everything you've worked so hard for just… disappeared. Listen to the full episode to learn how to meet relapse with curiosity, connect with what it's trying to teach you, and continue forward on your path to healing. Tweetable Quotes "Relapse isn't the end of recovery, guys. It's not the end of the road. It's a moment in it." - Rachelle Heinemann "We're not going to label it as a success or failure, but we're going to explore it." - Rachelle Heinemann "Is the body communicating something that the mind can't yet say?" - Rachelle Heinemann "Even if it feels like you revisit the same old place, you are there with a lot more awareness and capacity than you have in the past." - Rachelle Heinemann "Recovery happens in connection. Recovery cannot happen outside of connection." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected] Thank you to our sponsors! This episode includes paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.   Hidden River Healing provides compassionate, residential eating disorder treatment for girls, adolescents, and young women. Their expert clinical team emphasizes family involvement and individualized care in a beautifully designed facility surrounded by nature — a peaceful environment that supports recovery and lasting healing. Program Highlights: Specialized care for ages 8 and up, including a dedicated house for Emerging Adults (21+) and Mid-Life Adults In-network with most commercial insurances Ability to treat NG tube patients Learn more: hiddenriverhealing.com/about-us Follow on Instagram: @hiddenrivertx   NOTE: We will be taking next week off for Thanksgiving. See you in December!

Have you ever looked around and wondered how everyone else seems to have such an easy, peaceful relationship with food? They order what they want at restaurants, stop when they're full, and move on with their day. Meanwhile, you're stuck in your head, negotiating with yourself, worrying about how much you ate, or planning the next meal before you've even finished this one. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. Listen to the full episode to learn how you can start to rebuild trust with your body, release food guilt, and finally feel more at ease around eating; one meal, one moment, one connection at a time. Tweetable Quotes "Eating is not just a means to nourish yourself. It is a means to connect." - Rachelle Heinemann "The very first thing is you need structure. Because we can't really play around if we're not eating enough. And when we play around with our food, then we play around with our hunger fullness cues." - Rachelle Heinemann "What we're doing is shifting from our bodies and our meal plans as something to control and shifting to our bodies as something to listen to." - Rachelle Heinemann "It's not about getting it right, it's about just rebuilding these lines of communication." - Rachelle Heinemann "Your food choices don't define your worth." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected] Thank you to our sponsors! This episode includes paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.   Hidden River Healing provides compassionate, residential eating disorder treatment for girls, adolescents, and young women. Their expert clinical team emphasizes family involvement and individualized care in a beautifully designed facility surrounded by nature — a peaceful environment that supports recovery and lasting healing. Program Highlights: Specialized care for ages 8 and up, including a dedicated house for Emerging Adults (21+) and Mid-Life Adults In-network with most commercial insurances Ability to treat NG tube patients Learn more: hiddenriverhealing.com/about-us Follow on Instagram: @hiddenrivertx

The holidays are a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But they can also stir up difficult emotions, memories, and patterns, especially if you've experienced trauma or struggled with disordered eating. In this episode, we're diving into the complex and often misunderstood relationship between eating disorders and trauma. Joining me for this powerful conversation is Dr. Giulia Suro—a psychologist and author in Washington, DC who specializes in the intersection of eating disorders and trauma.  Tweetable Quotes "Being triggered is great. Like there's nothing wrong with being triggered, right? Being triggered means you're having a response and I want you to learn that you can feel that response and get through it because you're resilient, you're strong, you have agency, you have skills." - Dr. Giulia Suro "All of us are gonna experience traumas over the course of our lifetime. That's baked into the price of being a human being." - Dr. Giulia Suro "I think for many people with eating disorders, the eating disorder behaviors become avoidance behaviors." - Dr. Giulia Suro "Doing eating disorder work is doing trauma work. We're learning how to be in our body." - Dr. Giulia Suro "My biggest fear for anyone with an eating disorder is to sort of settle for three quarters recovery and live a life that's like good enough." - Dr. Giulia Suro "Your feelings can't hurt you. Your thoughts can't hurt you. Memories can't hurt you. Like the hurt has passed, that has passed." - Dr. Giulia Suro Resources Dr. Giulia Suro's website Follow Dr. Giulia Suro on Instagram Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]   Thank you to our sponsors! This episode includes paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Hidden River Healing provides compassionate, residential eating disorder treatment for girls, adolescents, and young women. Their expert clinical team emphasizes family involvement and individualized care in a beautifully designed facility surrounded by nature — a peaceful environment that supports recovery and lasting healing. Program Highlights: Specialized care for ages 8 and up, including a dedicated house for Emerging Adults (21+) and Mid-Life Adults In-network with most commercial insurances Ability to treat NG tube patients Learn more: hiddenriverhealing.com/about-us Follow on Instagram: @hiddenrivertx

Have you ever felt like your mind just won't shut off about food? You're in a meeting, at school, or out with friends, and instead of focusing on what's in front of you, all you can think about is what you'll eat next, what you shouldn't have eaten, or what you'll allow yourself later. That constant mental chatter, what many call food noise, can be exhausting. Tune in to the full episode to uncover what food noise is really telling you, and what steps you can take to finally quiet it. Tweetable Quotes "Thinking about food and being interested in food is really another sign of physical hunger." - Rachelle Heinemann "Restriction applies to the actual restriction of food not getting in enough, and it applies to the restriction of kinds of foods, types of foods, and the idea that they're off limits." - Rachelle Heinemann "Once you start eating adequately and regularly and consistently, and allowing yourself to have a variety of foods, then you'd be surprised how the food noise starts to quiet." - Rachelle Heinemann "If we still have our good foods and bad foods in different camps, then the food noise will probably be there." - Rachelle Heinemann "The more you avoid sweets and cakes and all these other kinds of fun foods, it's going to hold that power over you." - Rachelle Heinemann "The most important takeaway from today is 'Are you restricting? Is there some dieting going on? Are there lots of food rules?' In which case, you have to address that in order to decrease the food noise that is driving you up the wall." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]   Thank you to our sponsors! This episode includes paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Hidden River Healing provides compassionate, residential eating disorder treatment for girls, adolescents, and young women. Their expert clinical team emphasizes family involvement and individualized care in a beautifully designed facility surrounded by nature — a peaceful environment that supports recovery and lasting healing. Program Highlights: Specialized care for ages 8 and up, including a dedicated house for Emerging Adults (21+) and Mid-Life Adults In-network with most commercial insurances Ability to treat NG tube patients Learn more: hiddenriverhealing.com/about-us Follow on Instagram: @hiddenrivertx

When it comes to eating disorder treatment, one of the biggest questions people have is simple: What does it actually look like? The reality is that there's no single answer. Every person's story with food, body image, and recovery is unique, which means treatment has to be flexible, supportive, and tailored to the individual. Still, there are common building blocks that show up again and again, and understanding them can make the process feel a little less overwhelming. The number one goal is eating disorder symptom reduction. That means consistent and adequate nourishment as the first and most important goal. Tweetable Quotes "No two eating disorders are going to look alike. No two people's stories are going to look alike." - Rachelle Heinemann "The relationship we have with our people is going to be the catalyst for change." - Rachelle Heinemann "Just because the numbers are good doesn't mean there isn't still an eating disorder." - Rachelle Heinemann "Even if somebody starts to show signs of decreased symptoms, it doesn't necessarily mean that the work is over." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]  

Ever feel like nothing in your closet feels good, no matter how many outfits you try on? Or maybe you've found yourself spiraling about what people will think when they see you at a reunion, a wedding, or even just in the office. In this episode of Understanding Disordered Eating, I'm joined by my good friend and colleague, Sydney Green, MS, RD, to unpack the truth about body image: what it really means, how it shows up in daily life, and why it's so intertwined with our relationship to food.  Tweetable Quotes "If you're on outfit seven, nothing's feeling good… can we just go with comfort? Can we just go with, okay?" - Rachelle Heinemann "Body image is the last to go… which again, I don't even know what that means, although it's true, but it doesn't really mean much without unpacking it." - Rachelle Heinemann "The successful woman is looking super chic, and she's really thin, and if I don't look like that, then I'm not successful. I'm not driven. I'm not motivated." - Sydney Greene "A huge salad… our stomach is not meant to digest that. We're not rabbits. It just sits there. We get bloated. It doesn't feel good." - Sydney Greene "Body image is not a symptom. It's like how we feel about ourselves… there's so much more richness to how we feel about our body." - Sydney Greene "There's an actual word for some of this in research, it's called fat talk… women get together and talk about, pick apart their body, kind of like that Mean Girls scene." - Sydney Greene "When somebody is struggling with body image, maybe the point is not to immediately erase it. Maybe we have to see it and acknowledge it and say, you're not alone." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Connect with Sydney here: https://www.sydneygreenehealth.com/ Find her on Instagram!: @greenehealth Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you'd be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]