Puck My Goal!

CALL THE NEW YEARS' THOTLINE NOW! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL AT ‪(773) 242-7242‬, or EMAIL US AT [email protected]. DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 15.  Puck this ass Hollander! Puck it! It's a winter wonderland in the Thot Topics studio and we are in the spirit of giving: CUNT, that is! There's so much to get into, and there's no time like the PRESENT... LOOOL First, we review the gay hockey program that is licking and sucking and fondling the nation: HEATED RIVALRY. Why are the guys not even hot? Why did they bother with the hockey? Why do straight girls want to watch straight guys rail? We recommend a visual of Rachel Reid to enjoy fully. Then, it's WRAPPED SEASON, so we look back on the 15 defining songs of 2025 for each girl. I'll warn you it was a very LGBT year, but we have fun anyway looking back on a year of musical triumph. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Take a slapshot on our tight little goal on Patreon.

{Rina Sawayama voice} Um, do you want to explain why you think that's funny? Seriously, we'll all wait. I'd love to hear what you think is so funny about that. No just explain the joke. Like what's so funny? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY TO LISTEN TO THOT TOPICS!!! Wouldn't you agree? Whatever your answer is we're coming to ratatat on those little eardrums one way or another you dirty, dirty girl! This week, the girls unpack the etymology of "TREATLER" and attempt to self-diagnose. We are medical professionals after all. But then it's down to biz! We talk about Rina Sawayama's cultural appropriation allegations against Sabrina Carpenter. Who left their WHORE shoes on in my beautiful Japanese home??? Then, we pull out our dark crystals (you don't want to know where from) and SCRY the night away, into the future of MUSIC JOURNALISM: specifically, is Pitchfork making a huge mistake allowing user ratings? Will the STAN kill the CRITIC, or have they already? It's a serious investigation luv... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Take your shoes off at the door on Patreon. And in the spirit of this week's topic, why not leave us a review? :P

Wait, PTA stands for Paul Thomas Anderson? I thought it stood for Pits Tits and Ass. A lot of things are coming together for me now Anyway we are INDEED back again for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! This week, the girls stare down the barrel of their 28th birthday and ponder what that year is supposed to be all about. YAY another episode about our problematic relationship with our tight little bodies!! But then it's down to business. We watch the trailer for Rachel Sennott's zillennial voice-of-a-generation show I LOVE LA and make some predictions for its future. We also try to make it to the end of the teaser for Charli XCX's THE MOMENT without having an epileptic attack and dying. Naturally, there's SO much more, but you'll just have to listen, won't you... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Join the revolution on Patreon.

Find the moo girl! Find the moo! It may be Minoxidil Monday now, but this transmission was recorded on a beautiful Gay Guy Friday which rolled leisurely into the wee hours of Straight Guy Saturday. It's nice to look back on previous moments of pleasure and joy, ain't it? This week, the girls play a riveting round of TRUTH OR DRINK, devising the structure of the P.N.O. (Perfect Night Out), pondering their most expensive mistakes, and recounting fashion disasters of yesteryear. But not before a review of AM I THE DRAMA? the new "musical recording" by Cardi B, a discussion of our fraught relationship with SPOTIFY, and so much more. Grab a rag because it's gonna be a very juicy hour. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Enable us to continue cracking open cold ones on Patreon.

Who up bipping they burger? Who need they burger bipped? WELCOME to another beautiful, breezy, cool and calm Thot Topics Autumn. The air conditioner is off, the vibes are on, and untold cuntyliciousness lies just beyond the play button... The ideas discussed this week are so compelling and so unique that we're honestly jealous of you that you get to listen. This week, the girls discuss the evil spirit lurking inside of JORDAN FIRSTMAN, speculate on the lives of some other famous gays, and brace ourselves for the upcoming Rachel Sennott show which appears to be DOA. Then, we discuss the peacemaking ritual between Ice Spice & Latto, including what some critics are calling a "song." Naturally, that's not all, but we recorded this a few days ago and I already don't really remember what we talked about. Surely, you'll enjoy as much as we did mama. LOVE 2 ALL in the Thot Nation... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Donate to Cardi B's legal fund on Patreon.

It's! Some! It's! Some! Podcasters up in here! Welcome to my stratosphere! After a much-needed sabbatical, the girls are back to give it to you raw, fresh, hot, and ready. By the power of your patience, the world cooked up some tasty drama for us to discuss with our whole, ample chests! First, we discuss the untapped power of MONDAY NIGHTS and the trap of THIRSTY THURSDAYS. Then, we get down to business: the looming threat of THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL and what Taylor Swift has up her sleeve to punish us with next. Then, on a more pleasant note, we talk about LANA DEL REY vs ETHEL CAIN, a case overseen by NICKI MINAJ. We make our predictions for which Lana song will be Nicki's favorite from each album. Then, in the spirit of last episode, we take on a bracket of RuPaul singles... deciding on an ultimate victor... it's a spiritually draining task but someone had to do it... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help us commission Peter Griffin-esque portraits of ourselves on Patreon.

Little girl... your miniature therapy horses have arrived to wake you from your anesthesia... wake uppppp! WE ARE BEYONDDD BACK! The Thot Topics Studio is hot with the flames of literacy as we debrief on Nick finishing a draft of His Novel and other matters of girly importance. But the grind never stops in our world, sweetheart... We take our sweet ass time to discuss Sydney Sweeney's white supremacist jeans/genes, and unpack whatever's going on with the Tea app and straight people in general. Who's gonna step up and FIX this mess girl!?! We're busy btw... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Verify that you are a woman by uploading your credit card information on Patreon.

What I did, or what I do? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to know what you are talmbout, or to take arms against a sea of knowing you were hella wrong for what you did... Happy birthday America! Hold on to the feather in your cap and you betta call that thing macaroni because the real patriots have finally arrived. THIS WEEK, Nick undergoes an endurance test, zooming through a list of TikTok phenomena that Cris suspects Nick has never heard of. But that's not all: a discussion on lite beer, boats, the current season of Love Island USA, and oh so much more. We're about to pop these firecrackers-- where the police at!? Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Open a tax-exempt Thot Topics savings account on Patreon.

PARENTS BEWARE! Teens are communicating secret messages via text message through acronyms you may not be aware of. Stay informed! PTB = Pump The Beat. PBP = Period Bitch, Period. PP = Pink Pantheress Thank you for tuning in for a very special Pride Month Thotline! This time, we've accepted questions that made us gay (as in happy) from our cherished audience of homosexuals and women. We breach brand new territory this time: how to deal with freeloaders, how to stay sane with a work from home job, and yes... we take a monogamy question. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Thot Topics merch is restocked now on the webstore! Get on our party line on Patreon-- $5/month gets you a bonus episode every week!

Ladies I gotta be honest this one was a fight to the finish line even off a couple cawktails... but we do it for YOU: the people. Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD... Anyway, we pose the question that's been weighing heavy on our spirit and even heavier on our breasts: how many drinks do you consider to be a lot of drinks? What's the REAL tea when it comes to managing the party girl lifestyle? But that's not all: graduations, weddings, funerals, buying plane tickets on your laptop. So much is discussed it's impossible to capture the spirit in a measly episode description. You'll just have to find out, won't you fatty? TRY BROTEGE RETINOL SPF MOISTURIZER COURTESY OF THOT TOPICS! VISIT BROTEGE.COM/THOT AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOT' FOR 40% OFF YOUR ORDER. OR, IF YOU'RE A PATRON, BE ONE OF THE FIRST 5 TO COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE 'SO CREAMY' AND WE'LL SEND YOU A 100% OFF + FREE SHIPPING CODE TO TRY IT COMPLETELY FOR FREE! JUST ENTER THE CODE WE DM YOU AT BROTEGE.COM/THOT. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Buy a girl a fuckin' drink first on Patreon.