What to do with a REALLY clingy kid.... #52

Get your Downloadable Christmas Scavenger Hunt HEREIn this short Christmas episode, Jon shares the five grounding practices his family turns to every year—small rituals that help kids feel anchored and connected when the excitement, overstimulation, and big feelings of the holiday season hit. Centered on the idea that “kids need something predictable to hold onto when everything else feels big,” this episode offers simple traditions you can use today to bring more calm, closeness, and delight into your home.Links to help you and me:To support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, YoutubeSend us a textSupport the show

In this episode, Jon answers three real parent questions about clinginess — those “Velcro moments” when a child won’t let you leave the room and panic replaces logic. Through stories, brain science, and attachment research, he explores why clinginess is not a sign of overdependence, but a child’s way of saying “you are my safe person.”Parents will walk away with a clearer understanding of what clinginess really communicates, how to respond without reinforcing fear, and practical rituals that build connection, confidence, and emotional resilience.Links to help you and me:To support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, YoutubeSend us a textSupport the show

In this episode, Jon digs into the real reason transitions feel so “impossible” for kids — not because they’re being dramatic, but because shifting out of a moment they love can feel like a genuine shock to their system. Through stories, neuroscience, and deeply relatable parent questions, he explores why task-switching is so hard for developing brains and how a “satisfying end” can change everything. Listeners walk away with clarity, compassion, and concrete ways to support their child through the chaotic in-between moments without power struggles or guilt.To support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, YoutubeSend us a textSupport the show

In this episode, Jon unpacks why kids interrupt, especially in those moments when it “starts to feel disrespectful and chaotic” and you’re thinking, they’re old enough, they should know better. He breaks down what’s really happening in the developing brain around time, impulse control, and attachment, and why so many “rude” behaviors are actually bids for connection. Listeners walk away with a clearer understanding of what their child’s interruptions are telling them, plus practical, shame-free ways to set limits, protect conversations, and still help kids feel seen and important.Links to help you and me:To support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, YoutubeSend us a textSupport the show

In this episode, Jon answers three real parent questions about kids who shut down, melt down, or avoid trying altogether — the moments when, as one child put it, “I’d rather not try than be bad at it.” Through stories, neuroscience, and relatable examples, Jon offers a grounded way to understand the gap between a child’s stress limit and their skill limit, and why “new things are hard” becomes a life-changing mantra for both parent and child. Listeners walk away with clarity, compassion, and a more connected path forward for supporting kids in those tender I-can’t moments.To support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, YoutubeSend us a textSupport the show

Episode Summary Jon unpacks why kids often look “ungrateful” or overwhelmed during gift-heavy holidays—and why it has nothing to do with entitlement and everything to do with biology, routine disruption, and emotional overload. Through real parent questions, he explores what’s happening underneath the behavior, why forced gratitude backfires, and how parents can set expectations, model appreciation, and protect connection without trying to manufacture a perfect holiday moment. Listeners walk away with clarity, self-compassion, and grounded tools for approaching gift-giving in a healthier way. LinksTo support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, YoutubeSend us a textSupport the show

To support the podcast, head over to Substack and become a monthly or annual paid subscriber. It's the only way Jon gets paid for this. In this episode, Jon answers a parent’s question about neurodivergence and walks through how to think about kids who are more intense, more sensitive, or more easily overwhelmed. He breaks down what neurodivergence actually means, why some kids struggle more with regulation, and what parents can do to support them.Key Topics Covered• Why Some Kids Are More IntenseHe breaks down how sensitive nervous systems work, why some kids go from calm to meltdown quickly, and why this isn’t a discipline issue.• The Role of Executive FunctioningJon describes how executive functioning skills (flexibility, organization, handling transitions) often lag behind in neurodivergent kids — and why inconsistency is normal.• What Parents Can Actually DoPractical suggestions from the episode, including:Lowering stimulationCreating predictable routinesGiving kids more processing timeStaying regulated yourself so you can co-regulate with them• When to Consider an EvaluationJon briefly discusses how to know when an assessment might be helpful, and when it’s simply a matter of understanding your child’s wiring. Episode TakeawaySome kids aren’t trying to be difficult — their brain is working harder to manage everyday challenges. When parents understand this, they can respond with support instead of frustration.Send us a textSupport the show

Subscribe on Substack to support the show!Buy Punishment-Free Parenting (Jon's book) nowIn today’s episode, Jon returns to the show’s original format—raw, unscripted, brain-based parenting questions—this time focused entirely on sibling dynamics. If you have more than one child (or plan to), this might be one of the most clarifying episodes you ever listen to.Inside this episode: Why kids compete… why they fight over nothing… why your nervous system spirals in the cross-fire… and the realistic brain-based tools parents can use to survive those hot-cold sibling dynamics without losing themselves.What We Cover1. Why Sibling Rivalry Is NormalKids don’t choose their siblings. They don’t choose their living arrangement. And unlike adult relationships, they can’t leave or create space.Jon unpacks why built-in competition, developmental limitations, and underdeveloped emotional regulation make conflict inevitable—and why none of this means anything is “wrong” with your family.2. Regulating Your Nervous System FirstListener Question: “How do I stay calm when their chaos instantly spikes my anxiety?” Jon explains:Why your body responds like it’s an emergencyWhy entering the conflict dysregulated makes the conflict worseThe power of taking 30–40 seconds before jumping inQuick grounding tools (breathing, sensory checks, tapping, internal scripts like “I’m safe, they’re safe, this is not an emergency”)How your energy sets the emotional temperature of the room This is one of those “if you remember nothing else, remember this” moments.3. Opposite Temperaments & Constant ClashingListener Question: “One kid is sensitive, one is impulsive—they constantly trigger each other. How do I help them get along?”Jon dives into:The difference between describing temperament vs prescribing itWhy comparison creates competitionWhy kids don’t need fewer shared moments—they need more positive momentsHow to create “positive association loops” in the sibling relationshipWhat it means to aim for 51% positive interactionsThis is less about fixing fights and more about building a foundation for lifelong friendship.4. Sharing Without MeltdownsListener Question: “Both of my kids fight over everything—even stuff they didn’t care about five minutes ago.”Jon covers:Why sharing is developmentally unnaturalWhy kids experience loss aversion when giving something upThe game-changing strategy: Every child gets a small box of “non-sharing” items. Everything else becomes community property.Why this instantly calms power strugglesHow to use quick “attention flips” to reduce sharing meltdowns in the momentAnd how to speak self-fulfilling prophecies: “You’re such a good sharer.”Big TakeawaysYour calm nervous system is more powerful than any script.Siblings don’t need perfect harmony—they need repetition of positive experiences.Sharing starts with autonomy, not forced generosity.You’re not trying to prevent every fight. You’re playing the long game—raising adults who can have a lifelong relationship with each other.If This Episode Helped You…👉 Rate the pSend us a textSupport the show

If your mornings feel like a daily emotional avalanche, lost shoes, floppy limbs, scratchy socks, MELTDOWNS, you’re not alone. In this episode, Jon goes back to the original Whole Parent format and answers real listener questions about morning routines, meltdowns, and the brain science behind why kids fall apart at the exact same time every day.Instead of asking “What am I doing wrong?”, we flip the script: What if the problem isn’t you… it’s the lack of brutal predictability?Jon breaks down how kids’ underdeveloped executive function makes mornings uniquely hard—and how a simple, boring, repeatable routine can take the mental load off their brains and yours.In this episode, we cover:Why mornings are so hard for kids’ brains How an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, weak time sense, and limited executive function make “getting out the door” way more complex for kids than it is for adults.The power of “brutally predictable” routines Why turning mornings into the same simple sequence every day (with visual aids, checklists, or songs) actually reduces meltdowns and resistance.How long it should really take to get out the house Jon’s 20-minute rule for shoes/coats/backpacks—and why building in buffer time makes you less likely to snap, rush, or bark orders.Connecting before correcting What to do in the first 3–5 minutes after kids wake up, and why a few minutes of cuddle + connection can change the whole morning.When your kid’s “routine” includes a meltdown How kids unconsciously bake the meltdown into the pattern—and how to replace that step with connection, play, or a job instead of power struggles.Brain-based hacks that actually feel doable Including:Turning the morning into a game instead of a battleGiving kids simple “jobs” that channel their energyThe “put the shoes to bed” trick to end the Great Shoe Hunt every morningListener questions in this episode:Nancy: “My 6-year-old wakes up slow and my 3-year-old wakes up fiery. No matter how early I start, we’re either late or someone is screaming. What am I doing wrong in our morning routine?”Dave: “Every morning falls apart at the exact same spot: shoes and coats. My 4-year-old goes floppy, my toddler zigzags half-dressed, and I feel my patience evaporate. How do I break this pattern without becoming the drill sergeant I swore I’d never be?”Anonymous (aka The Great Shoe Hunt): “Every single morning turns into a shoe hunt. One shoe is in the pantry, the other in the bathtub. Is there a brain hack for kids who cannot keep track of their shoes?”Key Takeaways:Your mornings probably aren’t failing because you’re a “bad” parent. They’re failing because kids’ brains can’t carry that many steps without structure.A brutally predictable routine + a visual aid (chart, checklist, pictures, or song) can remove 80% of the morning chaos.Build in more time than you think you need so you’re not parenting from panic and hurry.Connection first, then routine: those first minutes after wake-up are prime time to fill your child’s emotional cup.If your kid’s “routine” currently includes a meltdown, your goal is not to shame it away—but to replace that step with play, jobs, or connection.Responsibility (like putting shoes “to bed” at night) isn’t punishment—it’s how kids build agency, confidence, and resilience.If youSend us a textSupport the show

It all started with a gold star. A single shining sticker on a kindergarten chart that—without me realizing it—began rewiring my understanding of love, worth, and motivation. In this episode of The Whole Parent Podcast, we dive into the hidden cost of praise—why “good job” might be doing more harm than good, and how something as innocent as a sticker chart can turn play into performance.Drawing on groundbreaking research from psychologists like Edward Deci and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, I unravel how extrinsic rewards shift our kids’ focus from curiosity to compliance…and why this shift often leaves adults feeling hollow, disconnected, and trapped in perfection.Through personal stories and parenting insights (including an unforgettable block tower moment with my son), we explore what happens when we stop praising kids for performing and start truly seeing them instead. If you've ever wondered whether we’re raising children who chase approval instead of wonder, this episode is for you.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why praise can undermine confidence and creativityThe difference between being seen and being evaluatedHow to encourage intrinsic motivation in your kids—and yourselfA new language of love that sounds nothing like “good job”Let’s trade gold stars for presence—and rediscover the quiet magic of being enough, just as we are.Send us a textSupport the show