815 How Self-Soothing and Coregulation Can Help When Things Don't Feel Okay

You've probably heard the terms emotional self-regulation and dysregulated nervous system. They're everywhere right now, and for good reason. But I want to make sure we're all on the same page about what dysregulation actually looks like when it's happening to you, in your body, on a Tuesday afternoon. That's what I'm getting into on this episode of The Terri Cole Show. How dysregulation presents in real life, and a few of my favorite ways to come back to yourself when you're stuck there. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/815

Are you your own worst critic? In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, Terri sits down with viral content creator and New York Times bestselling author Misha Brown (@YourBestieMisha) to discuss his new book, Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself. Misha shares his "Hero Origin Story"—moving from being bullied to becoming an empathic powerhouse for millions. You'll learn why waiting for confidence is a mistake and how his S.A.S.S. Method (Self-reflection, Affirmations, Standing your ground, and Sculpting your life) can help you reclaim your power. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/814

We have lots of social science about the benefits of having good friends. But I hear from a lot of you that you're not sure how to find or make friends in this season of life. That is what we will be exploring in this episode.  I just got back from Costa Rica with girlfriends that I've known since I was four. We're all turning 62 this year, which means we've been friends longer than most marriages last. But I also have friends I've made in adulthood who are just as important to me, and I'm absolutely committed to them. Vic knew he was going to have to be a good sharer. I said straight up at the beginning of our relationship, "I love a lot of people. If you're a possessive type of person, we will not be a good fit." He was not and has been sharing me since 1997, lol!  If you don't have close friends, I want you to know you can. It's a skill like anything else. On today's episode, I'll share some tips to help you take stock of your friendships, find new friends as an adult, and keep the ones you love. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/813

Whether you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or trying to prevent everyday burnout in your marriage, award-winning family lawyer and co-parenting expert Gabriella Pomari has advice for you. In this episode, we're sitting down to explore why so many successful women fall into the trap of over-functioning. Plus, how to reclaim your power through cleaner boundaries. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/812

Do you find yourself exhausted after interacting with certain people or in certain situations? With the state of the world, you might just be exhausted from listening to the news. But if you look at the patterns, you'll probably see there are certain situations and certain people that drain your energy more than others. I'm talking about empaths and highly sensitive people. I'm going to explain the difference between the two and give you a five-step plan for staying balanced. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/811

On today's episode, I'm sitting down with iconic journalist and former Good Morning America host Joan Lunden to discuss her brand-new memoir, Life Beyond the Script. She shares the accidentally radical moments that defined her career—from becoming Sacramento's first weather girl with zero experience to being the first woman to bring a baby on set and advocate for breastfeeding on national television. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/810

Has someone ever asked you a question that felt invasive, judgmental, or just plain rude?  Maybe it was a parent, a family member, or someone who thinks they're "just being caring."  Your response may have been to freeze.  Or smile and explain. Maybe you answered a question and later regretted it. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.  So many of us have been in that situation and thought afterward, why didn't I say something? Why didn't I draw a boundary? Why didn't I tell them it was none of their business? But often we don't. And that's what we're getting into today. How to respond to rude comments and why saying "no" is still really hard for some of us. These two things are connected, and they're both worth understanding. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/809

What if real transformation doesn't require blowing up your life? In this episode, Terri sits down with meditation teacher and author Light Watkins to discuss his book The Year You Transform and the fastest, most accessible path to lasting change. They explore why success doesn't always lead to fulfillment, the myth of the "Eat, Pray, Love" transformation, and how small, intentional discomfort (like cold showers, forgiveness, or quitting complaining) can radically shift your mindset. If you're feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or craving deeper purpose, this conversation will show you how to create real change—from the inside out. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/808

Many people can communicate just fine until a conflict arises.  Then the nervous system gets activated, and suddenly you're either shutting down, getting defensive, or saying things you don't mean.  Sound familiar? Our nervous systems get activated during conflict. It's normal for communication to be more challenging when you're activated than when you're not. That's just biology. When you understand how your body responds to stress, you give yourself a chance to communicate more effectively. When you're in conflict, what happens for you? Do you shut down?  Do you get loud?  Or begin attempting to please or appease the other person? I'm going to walk you through the top challenges I see as a psychotherapist. And I've put together a guide with some scripts for you at terricole.com/guide. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/807

Does fear feel like a stoplight in your head? Have you ever backed down from something important because it scared you? Today's guest, former U.S. Marine Corps Officer Jill Schulman, is here to help you rethink how you respond to fear. Listen to learn why fear is a part of bravery and you should "do it scared" instead of waiting to feel fearless. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/806