116: The Loyalty Bind in Blended Families: Why Kids Feel Torn Between Mom and Stepmom with Barb Goldberg

What if your stepchild isn't rejecting you… but protecting someone else? In this episode, I'm sitting down with the incredible Barb Goldberg: coach, author, podcaster, and stepmom to talk about one of the most misunderstood (and painful) dynamics in blended families: the loyalty bind. If you've ever felt hurt, dismissed, or completely invisible as a stepmom, this conversation is for you. Because when kids feel torn between mom and stepmom, it can show up as distance, attitude, silence, or even outright rejection - and it's easy to take that personally. But often? It's not about you. In This Episode, We Talk About: What the loyalty bind in blended families actually is - and how it quietly shapes your relationship with your stepkids Why the teenage brain reacts from emotion and survival (and why kids often don't even remember the hurtful things they say) How stepmoms get stuck in emotional trigger loops - and how to calm your nervous system and break the cycle Why stepmotherhood is a long game - and how kids often grow up, gain perspective, and sometimes even come back around We also talk honestly about the things stepmoms don't always say out loud - the crying in closets, the normalization of disrespect, and the cultural pressure to "just love them like your own." This episode offers compassion for kids navigating divorce and blended family dynamics - but it also offers deep validation for stepmoms who are carrying emotional burnout in silence. Resources Mentioned: The Evil Stepmother Speaks is a compassionate and empowering resource for stepmothers navigating the complex world of blended families with Barb Goldberg. Follow Barb on Instagram & Facebook Stepfamily Circle Membership – A supportive community for stepmoms who want help navigating conversations with stepkids, partners, and exes - without losing themselves in the process. Inside, you'll find coaching, real-life examples, and space to practice these conversations so you're not guessing anymore. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.

AI isn't "coming." It's already here - in your kids' phones, in their homework, in their group chats, and maybe even in your marriage. And most stepmoms have no idea how deeply it's shaping their blended family dynamics. If you've brushed off AI as a tech trend or something you'll figure out later, this episode may completely shift your perspective. Because the reality is: kids are already using it, adults are turning to it for emotional support, and families are navigating new territory without even realizing it. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Sarah Dooley, founder of AI Empowered Mom, to unpack what AI is really doing inside modern families - and how stepmoms can respond proactively instead of reactively. With nearly two decades in tech- including leading AI initiatives at Visa, Sarah brings both corporate expertise and real-life mom experience to this rapidly changing conversation. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: The surprising statistics about how many kids are already using AI - and why parents can't afford to ignore it How AI relationships are showing up in marriages, therapy spaces, and teen lives (and the boundaries families need to discuss) Why AI is not private - and what every parent should know before sharing personal information Practical ways stepmoms can use AI right now to reduce your mental load This episode isn't about replacing human connection. It's about using technology intentionally - so you're not left behind, your kids are safer, and your mental load is lighter. If you've been hesitant, skeptical, or quietly curious about AI, this conversation will help you feel more informed, more confident, and more equipped to navigate this new reality inside your blended family. Resources Mentioned Check out Sarah's free private, 3-part mini podcast series with step-by-step instructions for using AI to reduce your mental load.  Stepfamily Circle Membership – A supportive community for stepmoms who want help navigating conversations with stepkids, partners, and exes - without losing themselves in the process. Inside, you'll find coaching, real-life examples, and space to practice these conversations so you're not guessing anymore. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.

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The fastest way to experience stepmom burnout from trying to prove she belongs? Over-functioning in a family that was already functioning before you arrived. High-capacity stepmoms don't come in weak. They come in capable. Responsible. Strong. And quietly determined to earn their seat at the table. But what happens when proving your worth slowly turns into resentment… exhaustion… and losing yourself? In this I chat with decision coach and author Jessica Frew to unpack how stepmom burnout from trying to prove she belongs nearly cost Jessica her marriage - and how setting one boundary at a time changed everything. Jessica shares her powerful blended family story, including why she left her marriage one year in… and what brought her back with a completely different mindset. If you're a high-functioning stepmom who feels like you're carrying everyone's emotional weight, are afraid to look "selfish" by setting boundaries, or are just quietly questioning whether you can keep doing this…then this episode will help you finally put language to what you've been living. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: Why stepmom burnout from trying to prove she belongs is so common The emotional cost of over-functioning in a blended family Why you are not the main character in your stepkids' story - and why that's freeing The subtle ways resentment builds when you sacrifice yourself to prove your value How to set one boundary at a time without blowing up your marriage The difference between strength and self-abandonment This episode isn't about walking away. It's about walking back to yourself. Because protecting your peace isn't selfish - it's foundational. If you've been trying to earn your place instead of simply standing in it, this conversation will help you reset. Resources Mentioned Shove Your Shoulds by Jessica Frew [https://shoveyourshoulds.com/freebook]  A powerful guide to identifying the invisible "shoulds" driving your decisions and releasing the ones that aren't serving you. Stepfamily Circle Membership [https://stepfamilycircle.com]  A supportive community for stepmoms navigating blended family dynamics without losing themselves in the process. If you've lived the blended family journey and ever wondered if your experience could help someone else, this one's for you- I'm hosting a free webinar on how to turn your stepfamily experience into a paid coaching path, even if you've never coached before. Grab your spot at [https://stepfamilysolutions.com/becomeacoach] Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.  

Have you ever wondered why being a stepmom feels so much heavier than you expected-like no matter what you do, it still doesn't feel like enough? If social media leaves you questioning yourself or you're constantly comparing your stepmom life to impossible standards, this episode is going to feel very familiar. In this episode, I'm joined by Tara Clark, creator of Modern Mom Probs, to talk about stepmom pressure and comparison, why burnout is so common in blended families, and how unrealistic motherhood narratives make stepmomming even harder. We unpack why this pressure isn't personal, how misinformation thrives online, and what stepmoms actually need instead of more "do it all" advice. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: Why social media comparison hits stepmoms especially hard How unrealistic expectations fuel stepmom burnout (and why it's not your fault) A lower-pressure way to show up as a safe adult for kids in a scary, noisy world Why stepmoms deserve evidence-based guidance, not loud, fear-driven advice If you're tired of feeling like you're falling short and ready to feel more grounded in your role as a stepmom, this conversation offers relief, validation, and perspective. Where to find Tara: Modern Mom Probs Modern Mom Probs Podcast Modern Mom Probs: A Survival Guide for 21st Century Mothers by Tara Clark Love The Stepmom Diaries?Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your support helps the show reach more stepmoms who need honest, supportive conversations like this one.

Have you ever tried to connect with your stepkids, only to feel like everything you say somehow makes things worse? If conversations keep blowing up - or you're walking on eggshells trying not to mess things up - this episode is going to hit close to home. We're breaking down how to communicate with your stepkids in a way that builds trust instead of triggering shutdowns, power struggles, or rejection - and why so much of the advice stepmoms are given actually makes things harder. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: Why connection has to come before correction - and how discipline too early can backfire The most common communication mistakes stepmoms make (and why they lead to pushback) What to say when your stepkid says something that cuts deep, like "you're not my mom" How to approach conversations differently with younger kids vs. teens so they feel safe, not pressured Stepfamily Circle Membership – A supportive community for stepmoms who want help navigating conversations with stepkids, partners, and exes - without losing themselves in the process. Inside, you'll find coaching, real-life examples, and space to practice these conversations so you're not guessing anymore. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.  

If January already feels heavy…  if you're tired of trying to feel hopeful...  or if you're sitting there thinking, "What is wrong with me?" this episode is for you.  January can be hard for stepmoms. And there's a reason no one talks about it. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: Why January hits so hard for stepmoms Why the 'try harder' culture and first family advice miss the mark - especially this time of year The patterns that come up every January What not to do in January if you're a stepmom How to reframe what's actually happening Resources Mentioned: For Stepmoms: Join the Stepfamily Circle for scripts, strategies, and community support For Aspiring Coaches: Learn how to help families navigate these dynamics with wisdom and expertise at stepfamilysolutions.com/stepfamily-certification Share This Episode: If this hit home for you, please share it with another stepmom who needs to hear it. Post it in that Facebook group where everyone's struggling with the same thing. Send it to that friend who's been texting you about her partner not getting it. The more we talk about this stuff openly, the more we normalize the struggle, and the more stepmoms realize they're not alone and they're not crazy. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing the show! It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you who need this support. Just click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "write a review." Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I'll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It's normally $49 and it's a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you'll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint! Connect with Cameron: Website: stepfamilysolutions.com Instagram: @stepfamilysolutions TikTok: @stepfamilysolutions

"My husband is an idiot." That's what a stepmom said to me recently - not once, but multiple times. But behind those words? A mountain of hurt, exhaustion, and feeling completely alone in her own home. If you've ever felt like you're carrying everything by yourself while your partner seems checked out, dismissive, or just doesn't get it - this episode is for you. I'm diving deep into what "he doesn't have my back" really means, why it's about so much more than just everyday disagreements, and most important - what you can actually do about it before resentment poisons everything. This isn't just a communication problem. It's about feeling invisible in your own home. It's about partnership (or the lack of it). And it's time we talk about it. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: What "he doesn't have my back" REALLY means (hint: it's not just about the kids' behavior) Why your partner might genuinely not see what you're seeing How resentment becomes a marriage emergency disguised as a stepfamily issue The vulnerable conversation that can change everything What to do when he won't engage (and how to know your bottom line) Why generic therapy advice can make stepfamily dynamics worse For coaches: Why this will be a top issue in your practice Resources Mentioned: For Stepmoms: Join the Stepfamily Circle for scripts, strategies, and community support  For Aspiring Coaches: Learn how to help families navigate these dynamics with wisdom and expertise at stepfamilysolutions.com/stepfamily-certification Share This Episode: If this hit home for you, please share it with another stepmom who needs to hear it. Post it in that Facebook group where everyone's struggling with the same thing. Send it to that friend who's been texting you about her partner not getting it. The more we talk about this stuff openly, the more we normalize the struggle, and the more stepmoms realize they're not alone and they're not crazy. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing the show! It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you who need this support. Just click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "write a review." Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I'll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It's normally $49 and it's a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you'll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint! Connect with Cameron: Website: stepfamilysolutions.com Instagram: @stepfamilysolutions TikTok: @stepfamilysolutions