107. Stop Trying Harder: Why Stepmoms Need Support, Not Perfection

"You're not the problem. You're just doing it alone." If you attended the Stepmom Summit last weekend, you wrapped up in a high - feeling seen and understood. But it’s over now, and you're back in a house that doesn't feel like yours with zero space to land. Today we're talking about why "trying harder" isn't the answer, and what you actually need to create lasting change in your stepfamily life. In This Episode, We Cover: Why Stepmom Life Feels So Isolating The myth of "trying harder" and the stepmom spiral of second-guessing your boundaries and interactions How "trying harder" leads to losing yourself in the effort That you're not actually failing - the system is failing you You don't need to try more - you need to be seen You weren't meant to navigate stepfamily life alone Resources Mentioned Join the Stepfamily Circle: Ready to stop navigating stepfamily life alone? The Stepfamily Circle offers ongoing support, group coaching calls, and a community that truly gets it. Learn more at stepfamilycircle.com  If you missed The Stepmom Summit For a few more days, you can still grab a VIP ticket and access all of the presentations and $2,000 in bonuses. Don't wait because the opportunity to grab your ticket will expire on September 15th!  For Aspiring Stepfamily Coaches: Ready to help other stepmoms through coaching? Or just want to dive deep into learning everything about stepfamily life and see what happens from there? Learn about the Stepfamily Coach Academy at stepfamilysolutions.com/stepfamily-certification Connect with Cameron: Website: stepfamilysolutions.com Instagram: @stepfamilysolutions TikTok: @stepfamilysolutions Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Every stepmom has that moment where reality hits and you think: “Wait… I didn’t sign up for this.” In today’s episode, I sit down with Alicia Krasko - stepmom coach, podcast host, and CEO of the Stepmom Side Community. Alicia’s story will sound familiar: she went into stepmom life thinking it would be smooth sailing (kids liked her, in-laws liked her, even the ex liked her)… until suddenly, everything changed. In the episode, we talk about: What happens when “happily ever after” collides with blended family reality Why traditional therapy often misses the mark for stepmoms (and what to look for instead) How to handle high-conflict situations without losing yourself The truth about always being asked to be “the bigger person” — and what to do when it feels exhausting Why stepmom struggles look so similar (and why you’re NOT the only one going through this) ✨ Plus, Alicia gives us a sneak peek of her upcoming live session at the Stepmom Summit, where she’ll dive into extended family drama (yes, we’re talking in-laws) and how to navigate it without losing your peace. If you’ve ever found yourself Googling “how to get divorced” or wondering why stepmom life feels harder than you imagined — this conversation will remind you that you are not alone, and there is a way forward. 🎟️ Save your seat at the FREE Stepmom Summit 🎟️ Links + Resources Mentioned: Connect with Alicia: aliciakrasko.com  Grab Alicia’s free guide: aliciakrasko.com/expectations  Join the Stepmom Summit: thestepmomsummit.com The Stepmom Summit Is For You If: You’re tired of doing this alone You love your partner but struggle with “everything that comes with them” You want tools that work outside of therapy sessions and social media scrolls 🎟️ Save your seat now! 🎟️ Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

“You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to guess, or feel guilty. You just have to say yes to support that actually gets it.” Ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your own home? Like no one truly sees how hard you’re working to hold it all together? In this powerful mini episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on why the FREE annual Stepmom Summit (coming up September 4-6th) has become a lifeline for thousands of stepmoms around the world - and why it might be exactly what you’ve been needing, too. I share my own raw and real moments (yes, including the one where my stepson called 911 on me), and why this annual virtual gathering is more than just a few Zoom sessions—it’s a community, a permission slip, and a freaking game-changer. Plus, get a sneak peek at the surprises in store at this year’s event (hint: you're going to get to ask all of our speakers your most burning questions in real-time) - along with our jaw-dropping speaker lineup! We'll discuss: Why even “strong” stepmoms need safe spaces The shift from isolation to belonging (with real stories from past attendees) How the summit is going 100% live this year - and why that changes everything Featured Speakers Sneak Peek: Eve Rodsky – on burnout, boundaries, and reclaiming your joy Terri Cole – setting unapologetic boundaries Patricia Papernow - the globally-recognized top stepfamily expert in the field Samantha Boss – parenting plans during high conflict Kristin Cogan - mindfulness in the midst of chaos Jessica Frew, Alicia Krasko, and even a lawyer from the Real Housewives 👀 Plus: top therapists, experts, coaches, and a panel of top researchers led by Emmy-winning journalist Jamie Yuccas The Stepmom Summit Is For You If: You’re tired of doing this alone You love your partner but struggle with “everything that comes with him” You want tools that work outside of therapy sessions and social media scrolls Join Us: The Stepmom Summit is completely virtual, packed with live speakers, and full of support that lasts long after the event ends. Replays are available for 48 hours - so no pressure, just presence. Register now at thestepmomsummit.com Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

If you’ve ever found yourself tangled in the emotional mess of a high-conflict ex, today’s conversation is for you. My guest, Priscilla Smith, knows exactly what it’s like to live in that storm. A certified stepfamily coach and child-free stepmom (and speaker at the upcoming Stepmom Summit!), Priscilla has navigated years of tension, loyalty binds, and co-parenting chaos — all while building a stronger marriage and a more peaceful home. She’s here to share how she shifted from reacting to leading, stopped letting the ex dictate her peace, and created tools that actually work in real life. In this episode, we talk about: The turning point that helped Priscilla reclaim her calm Why waiting for a high-conflict ex to change will keep you stuck How to take the high road without feeling like a doormat The impact on your relationship — and how to protect it Practical self-care in the middle of constant stress Whether you’re in the thick of it right now or supporting someone who is, Priscilla’s story and strategies will help you see a way forward — one that’s not about “fixing” someone else, but about protecting your own energy, marriage, and peace. About Priscilla: Priscilla Smith is a certified stepfamily coach who helps stepmoms and their partners go from chaos to clarity to calm, especially when high-conflict dynamics and neurodiverse child needs are part of the picture. A child-free stepmom herself, Priscilla brings many years of lived experience, a calm presence, and a deep understanding of the unique challenges that come with blending families. With a mindset-focused approach, she helps clients break free from old patterns, build new tools, and create lasting change in their relationships and daily life. She doesn’t just hand out advice, she asks the right questions, helps you connect the dots, and teaches practical strategies that actually stick. Before coaching, Priscilla spent two decades in Human Resources and leadership development, where she honed her skills in strategy, goal setting, and guiding people through tough transitions. She now works with stepfamilies across the globe from her home in central Pennsylvania, where she enjoys reading and hanging out with her dog, Bernie. You Can Find Priscilla: Blendedbloomingcoaching.com Instagram: @blendedstepfamilycoaching Priscilla's FREE Mastering Transition Days Guide: https://blendedbloomingcoaching.myflodesk.com/transitiondayguide  Links Mentioned In This Episode: Join the waitlist for The Stepmom Summit: thestepmomsummit.com Learn more about Stepfamily Coach Academy certification program Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!  

Parenting is hard - but it can help when you're able to lower the temperature. If you've followed me for a while, you know I subscribe to the research-based "connection before correction" philosophy when it comes to stepparents getting involved in discipline. My guest for this episode has an expertise in what she calls "compassionate discipline," which is a great option for parents looking for a way to be more responsive and less reactive. Wendy's work on positive parenting strategies is inspiring - and should give us all some food for thought as we work to create strong relationships with our kids and stepkids. About Wendy: Wendy Snyder is a mom of two, certified parenting educator & family life coach, who inspires parents to learn & grow through connection based positive parenting strategies. As the host of The Fresh Start Family Show & Founder of FreshStartFamilyOnline.com, she helps parents ditch the threats, yelling & harsh punishments so they can live life as a joyful & confident parent (with kids that listen & cooperate great!). Families who take part in her learning & coaching programs experience radical shifts in their hearts, minds & souls - that help them to create rock solid relationships with their kids, while at the same time teaching important life lessons & helping to raise the next generation of leaders, change makers & important human souls.  You Can Find Wendy: freshstartfamilyonline.com The Fresh Start Family Show podcast Instagram: @freshstartwendy YouTube:@wendysnyder-freshstartfamily Facebook: @freshstartfamily Links Mentioned In This Episode: FREE Quick Start Learning Bundle: 3 Secrets to Thriving with Strong-Willed Kids Firm and Kind Parenting Blueprint  Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Today we're talking about something that can be an unexpected complication in blended family life - and that's mealtime. Getting kids to eat nutrient-packed food is hard enough, but add in a two-house dynamic where kids may have different rules and expectations around what they eat and it can get downright thorny. That's where Katie Kimball comes in. Mom of four and founder of Kitchen Stewardship, Katie and I talk about how to navigate picky eaters and encourage good habits, even when the other house has different rules.  And she tells us about her FREE Life Skills Camp coming up this summer, where CEOs, chefs, tv hosts, and others will teach your kids and teens all kinds of useful skills that they'll use in everyday life. It's a phenomenal resource to help kids feel (and become) more self-sufficient.  About Katie: Katie Kimball helps change kids’ relationship to food, both through work in the kitchen and helping parents of picky eaters. She’s a former teacher, two-time TEDx speaker, writer, and mom of 4 kids. She created the Kids Cook Real Food eCourse, which was recommended by The Wall Street Journal as the best online cooking class for kids. Her blog Kitchen Stewardship helps families stay healthy without going crazy, and she’s on a mission to connect families around healthy food, teach every child to cook, and instill those all-important life skills! Links Mentioned In This Episode: Life Skills Camp Kids Cook Real Food, which the Wall Street Journal praised as the top online cooking course for kids Free Knife Skills Class Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Ever Wondered What Your Stepchildren Think About You? Kids can be tricky for stepparents to navigate. Their behavior isn't rational, they don't know how to express their emotions, and sometimes they can take out their frustration on the person who can be the easiest target: stepmom. But there's more to the story, and that's what we're talking about in this episode. We've got one of the top stepfamily researchers with us, and he's recently released a new look at the stepfamily dynamic - from the kids' perspectives.  He's got some really interesting, insightful, and surprising, findings that stepmoms should definitely pay attention to.   About Dr. Todd Jensen: Todd Jensen, PhD, MSW is an Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Science and Director of the Thriving Through Family Transitions Research Lab in the School of Education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Much of his research focuses on identifying factors that promote high-quality stepparent-child relationships, particularly those involving adolescent children. Dr. Jensen’s professional activities are connected to more than 34 million dollars in funding, including support from the National Institutes of Health, United States Department of Health and Human Services, The Duke Endowment, the William T. Grant Foundation, The Annie E. Casey Foundation, and the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services. Dr. Jensen is a Faculty Fellow of the Carolina Population Center, a Fellow of the Society for Social Work and Research, Deputy Editor for the Journal of Family Theory & Review, and co-founder and co-chair of the Diverse Family Structures Focus Group of the National Council on Family Relations. As an educator, Dr. Jensen specializes in teaching courses on family theory and practice, human development, program evaluation, and advanced quantitative methodology. You can find Todd Jensen: On Instagram HERE  On his website, toddjensen.com, where you can also find links to many of his journal articles Have You Ever Thought About Coaching? On Wednesday, May 7th, I'm hosting a masterclass: The 5-Step Framework To Becoming A Stepfamily Coach (even if you've never coached before.  This FREE class is for you if you’ve ever thought about turning your stepfamily experience into a meaningful career or side hustle - but you’re unsure where to start, how to get clients, or if you’re even “qualified.” Here's what you'll learn: ✅ How I turned my own stepfamily challenges into a career that fuels me daily ✅ What you really need (hint: not a counseling degree or a “perfect family”) ✅ The biggest myths that hold amazing women back from making a real impact Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

🎉🎉We're 100! 🎉🎉 Today's episode is all about celebrating our big milestone - we have hit one hundred episodes! It's been a wild ride for these first hundred episodes and I am so honored that you've joined me to explore so many different topics that impact stepmoms. There's still so much to talk about, so I hope you'll come along for the next hundred episodes! Today we're going through some of the biggest lessons I've learned in these first hundred episodes. The lessons aren't all related to stepmom life - but they are all helpful for taking a look at your mindset, your stepmom experience, and how even one small step can make big changes in your life when you need it. Join Me Next Week:  Next Wednesday, February 26th, I'm hosting an amazing 1 hour Masterclass: From Exhausted To Empowered: The 60-Minute Reset Every Stepmom Needs (and deserves!).  In the class, you're going to learn the three big obstacles that hold back almost every stepmom - things that you can address with a few simple mindset shifts. Take just 60 minutes for yourself and come learn how to finally live into your blended family life without sacrificing your happiness. Links Mentioned In This Episode: Episode 32, Talking All Things Stepmom with Dr. Patricia Papernow Episode 59, Letting It Be Easy (Even With Stepmom Life), with Susie Moore Episode 56, How To Love Stepmom Life While Building A Business Empire, with Amy Porterfield Episode 87, When Blended DOES Mean Happily Ever After, with Catt Sadler and Sarah Boyd Episode 27, A Conversation with Megan Hunter, CEO of the High Conflict Institute Episode 85: Learning How To Stepmom One Lesson At A Time, with Jamie Yuccas Episode 96, A Better Marriage Starts with a Better You, with Casey and Meygan Caston Episode 91, What Happens When You Retake Control of Your Stepmom Story, with Naja Hall Episode 93, What Does Work In Stepfamilies, According To Research Episode 94: Smooth Talking, Improving Communication One Step At A Time Honorable Mention, Episode 99, Family Law Essentials for Stepmoms Want Your Question Answered On The Podcast? Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE If you're looking for some help with stepfamily communication, make sure you grab Smooth Talking: 10 Essential Stepmom Scripts - it will give you the exact words to use when you're trying to talk about some of the tricky stepfamily topics that come up on the regular. Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!  

Family Law Insights From a Real Housewives' Lawyer In today's episode, we’re getting into all the legal things around stepfamily life with an award-winning family law expert who has represented many high-profile clients in their divorces, including Ashley Darby of the Real Housewives of Potomac. About Maria: This week, I'm talking to a rockstar and award-winning attorney in the family law area. She is Managing Partner at the Geller Group and specializes in family law, divorce, custody disputes, collaborative divorce, and litigation.  Maria has been continually recognized as Virginia Business’ Legal Elite and selected as a Super Lawyers Rising Star for Virginia and the District of Columbia. She’s a frequent speaker and is a member of the Collaborative Professionals of Northern Virginia (CPNV), the D.C. Academy of Collaborative Professionals (DCACP), and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. Maria graduated cum laude from the Honors Program at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor and cum laude from the American University Washington College of Law in Washington, D.C. She is active in the DC community and served two years as General Counsel for Crispus Attucks Development Corporation. Our worlds have overlapped along the way, too. Maria was General Counsel for the Taste of the South Charity, which I was involved with for years, and she’s a member of the Junior League of Washington, where I served as President.  Along with Maria’s zeal for the practice of law, she is an avid runner and yoga practitioner, and loves cooking and spending time with her husband and three sons.  You Can Find Maria: Thegellerlawgroup.com On Instagram Want Your Question Answered On The Podcast? Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE If you're looking for some help with stepfamily communication, make sure you grab Smooth Talking: 10 Essential Stepmom Scripts - it will give you the exact words to use when you're trying to talk about some of the tricky stepfamily topics that come up on the regular. Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Stepfamily Life From A Son's Perspective This week's guest isn't a stepmom. But he does have an interesting take on stepfamily life. Judge and author Anthony J. Mohr grew up with a father who had been a well-known radio actor who descended to the Hollywood B-list with the advent of television, and a stepfather who was a wealthy and successful businessman. In his award-winning book, Every Other Weekend: Coming of Age With Two Different Dads, Anthony discusses how he found his place between the two contrasting worlds while coming of age during a time when divorce was rare and often viewed as shocking. About Anthony: Anthony J. Mohr served for 26 years as a judge on the Superior Court of California, County of Los Angeles. He also sat as a judge pro tem on the California Court of Appeal. In January 2021, he became a fellow at the Advanced Leadership Initiative at Harvard University and is now a senior editor of the Harvard ALI Social Impact Review. His stories and essays have received six Pushcart Prize nominations. He has worked on the staffs of Evening Street Review, Fifth Wednesday Journal, Hippocampus Magazine, and Under the Sun. You Can Find Anthony: anthonyjmohr.com Want Your Question Answered On The Podcast? Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE If you're looking for some help with stepfamily communication, make sure you grab Smooth Talking: 10 Essential Stepmom Scripts - it will give you the exact words to use when you're trying to talk about some of the tricky stepfamily topics that come up on the regular. Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!