7 Lessons from Watching Your Partner with Others

In this intimate and revealing episode of the Open Love 101 podcast, hosts John and Jackie Melfi discuss a pivotal milestone in consensual non-monogamy relationships: the moment of realizing you're comfortable seeing your partner with someone else. Jackie shares her surprising journey from traditional monogamy to embracing open relationships, including her unexpected reaction to first seeing John with another person through a video he shared early in their relationship. Jackie reveals how watching John with someone else wasn't the jealousy-inducing experience she expected but instead created feelings of curiosity, attraction, and even privilege at being his partner. The couple also explores how their experiences strengthened their relationship, with Jackie describing the profound sense of empowerment and acceptance she felt when John supported her first experience with another person. TIMESTAMPS: [00:00:00] Intro to Open Love 101 podcast [00:00:40] John and Jackie introduce the episode topic [00:01:25] Jackie's background coming from monogamy [00:02:15] First experiences watching a partner with someone else [00:03:39] Jackie discusses seeing John's video with a past girlfriend [00:05:27] How watching created unexpected positive feelings [00:08:26] Jackie's surprising reaction to herself [00:10:29] The difference when John watched Jackie with someone else [00:12:09] How open honesty strengthened their relationship [00:15:41] The cascade effect of honesty in all aspects of life [00:18:34] Outro and information about Open Love 101 Like, subscribe, and check out openlove101.com for more insights on open relationships and consensual non-monogamy! Join Open Love 101 Plus for exclusive content and personal interactions with John and Jackie. #OpenRelationships #ConsentualNonMonogamy #SwingLifestyle #RelationshipAdvice #Compersion #JealousyManagement #OpenLove101

In this candid episode, John and Jackie shift the conversation to something couples don't always talk about openly: the challenges of swinging and open relationships. While many episodes highlight the benefits, this one explores the obstacles—and why those same challenges often become powerful opportunities for growth, connection, and self-awareness.   John and Jackie dive into real-world issues couples face when exploring the lifestyle, starting with time management. Swinging can be exciting, but without intention, it can easily crowd out family time, work responsibilities, or emotional connection. They emphasize that balance doesn't happen by accident—it comes from honest conversations, clear priorities, and checking in with each other regularly.   They also address the stress of secrecy. Many couples struggle with the fear of judgment from friends, family, or employers, which adds emotional weight to the lifestyle. John and Jackie speak openly about stigma, why it still exists, and how normalizing consensual non-monogamy begins with self-acceptance and confidence in your choices.   The episode also tackles practical frustrations—like finding venues or like-minded people, especially in areas without clubs or established communities. They dispel the myth that swinging is easy or indiscriminate, explaining that compatibility, attraction, and communication matter just as much here as they do in traditional dating.   Growth often lives just past discomfort.   🔑 Key Insights: Time management is essential to keep lifestyle exploration from overtaking real life Open communication helps couples balance desire, schedules, and emotional needs Fear of stigma can be heavier than the lifestyle itself Finding compatible partners takes effort, patience, and selectivity Swinging is not indiscriminate—it's intentional and nuanced Anxiety is normal when trying something new, but not a reason to stop Challenges often become catalysts for deeper connection and growth ⏱️ Episode Topics & Flow: 00:00 – Why it's important to talk about the hard parts 01:30 – Time management and lifestyle balance 03:10 – The pressure of secrecy and social stigma 04:45 – Finding venues and community in limited areas 06:00 – Compatibility vs. misconceptions about swinging 07:30 – Anxiety, fear, and trying something new 09:00 – Reframing challenges as growth opportunities

Join hosts John and Jackie Melfi of OpenLove101 as they discuss how they've broken traditional boundaries in non-monogamous relationships! In this candid episode, they share their experiences being "out and proud" about their lifestyle, how openness creates unexpected connections, and why their approach to relationships with play partners differs from typical swinger dynamics. 🎙️ Episode Highlights: • 00:00 - Intro to the Open Love 101 podcast with John and Jackie Melfi • 00:40 - John and Jackie welcome viewers to their new studio setup • 01:25 - Introduction to the episode's topic: breaking relationship norms • 02:10 - Jackie discusses being open about their lifestyle in public settings • 03:19 - How transparency creates unexpected connections with strangers • 05:16 - Jackie shares a story about how being open redirected a women's group discussion • 07:34 - Discussion about how their "advanced relationship model" positions them as relationship experts • 09:31 - Exploring relationships with play partners beyond typical swinger dynamics • 11:55 - Jackie shares a meaningful connection she formed with one of John's partners • 14:52 - Closing thoughts on breaking norms and the positive impact of sharing their experiences • 15:29 - Information about OpenLove101 Plus membership and social media Whether you're curious about consensual non-monogamy or looking to enhance your current relationship, this episode offers valuable insights into building strong connections through honesty and open communication. 👍 Like this video if you enjoyed it, subscribe for more relationship content, and share your thoughts in the comments below! Visit openlove101.com to learn more about open relationships and the swinger lifestyle.

Fear and jealousy are natural—but how you handle them can make or break your relationship. In this heartfelt video, John and Jackie from OpenLove101.com explore the emotional challenges that can arise in the swinging lifestyle and how honest communication and vulnerability can turn those moments into opportunities for deeper trust and connection. Drawing from personal stories, they show how facing insecurities together strengthens their bond and helps build a supportive, judgment-free relationship. If you're navigating non-monogamy or simply looking to grow closer to your partner, this conversation is packed with real insights and encouragement. 💬 Vulnerability builds trust. Communication creates connection. #OpenLove101 #SwingingLifestyle #NonMonogamy #JealousyInRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #JohnAndJackie #TrustAndCommunication 

Join hosts John and Jackie Melfi as they explore the often overlooked non-sexual benefits of consensual non-monogamous relationships! After receiving feedback that a previous video focused too much on the sexual aspects, they dedicate this episode to discussing how open relationships have strengthened their bond beyond the bedroom. Discover how open communication, deep trust, and radical honesty have created a foundation for their 13-year relationship. John and Jackie share personal experiences about how their relationship model has allowed them to discuss topics that might be taboo in traditional monogamous relationships, leading to greater emotional intimacy and personal growth. 🎯 Key Topics Discussed: 00:00 Introduction to Open Love 101 podcast 00:40 Addressing viewer feedback on previous content 01:44 Jackie explains how their relationship looks from the outside 03:44 Early communication foundations in their relationship 06:05 How open relationships enable deeper conversations 10:27 The value of transparency and supporting each other's growth 12:02 Trust as a cornerstone benefit of their open relationship 14:08 Walking through fears and uncomfortable emotions together 17:34 Managing disagreements as a team 19:13 Information about Open Love 101+ membership program Whether you're in an open relationship or simply curious about different relationship models, this episode offers valuable insights into building strong partnerships based on trust, communication, and mutual respect! 👍 Like, subscribe, and leave a comment if you'd like John and Jackie to answer your relationship questions in future videos. Join their Open Love 101+ membership for more in-depth conversations and behind-the-scenes content! #OpenRelationships #ConsensualNonMonogamy #RelationshipAdvice #SwingLifestyle #CouplesCommunication

How do you set healthy boundaries in a swinger or open relationship? In this video, John and Jackie from OpenLove101.com share practical advice for navigating boundaries—especially for newcomers exploring the lifestyle. They discuss why observing before participating can be helpful, how boundaries should evolve over time, and the importance of not using them to control your partner. With a focus on open communication, mutual respect, and gradual exploration, this episode is a must-watch for anyone wanting to build trust and intimacy while keeping the experience fun and fulfilling. 💬 Boundaries aren't about control—they're about connection. #OpenLove101 #SwingerLifestyle #RelationshipBoundaries #NonMonogamy #JohnAndJackie #OpenRelationships #HealthyCommunication

In this enlightening episode of the OpenLove101 podcast, hosts John and Jackie Melfi address a thought-provoking question from a viewer about managing emotions as an external play partner in an open relationship. With their 20+ years of combined experience in open relationships, they offer valuable insights on maintaining boundaries while acknowledging natural human emotions. The hosts discuss the challenges of a play partner who has been in a relationship for 1.5 years with strict rules about emotional involvement, and explore whether it's truly possible to maintain a purely physical connection over an extended period. John and Jackie emphasize the importance of honest communication and the natural development of feelings in any human interaction. Key Topics Discussed: 🕒 0:00 - Introduction to Open Love 101 podcast 🗣️ 0:40 - John introduces a viewer question about being an external play partner 💬 2:21 - Discussion about communication being key in any relationship 💭 4:41 - Can relationships truly exist without emotions? 🔄 8:02 - The challenges of separating emotions from physical relationships 🛣️ 11:16 - Common boundaries in new open relationships 🤝 13:06 - Advice on having honest conversations with partners Whether you're new to consensual non-monogamy or a seasoned practitioner, this episode provides thoughtful perspectives on managing emotions and relationships in the lifestyle. 👍 If you enjoyed this episode, please LIKE this video and SUBSCRIBE to our channel for more insights on open relationships and the swinger lifestyle. Share your thoughts or questions in the comments below! Visit openlove101.com to learn more about open relationships and join our email list for updates on new content.

How Swinging Strengthened Our Trust & Emotional Connection | John & Jackie | OpenLove101 Can swinging lead to more emotional intimacy? In this video, John and Jackie from OpenLove101.com share how their open relationship has created a deeper sense of honesty, trust, and personal growth. Unlike traditional monogamous relationships where conversations about outside attraction are often avoided, John and Jackie embrace openness—creating a safe space for vulnerability, acceptance, and unconditional love. They discuss how this emotional freedom has transformed their connection and invite viewers to challenge societal norms around relationships. 💬 Real trust begins when you're free to be completely honest. #OpenLove101 #SwingingLifestyle #EmotionalIntimacy #RelationshipTrust #NonMonogamy #JohnAndJackie #OpenRelationships #UnconditionalLove

Join hosts John and Jackie Melfi, the force behind Colette Swingers Clubs and the award-winning blog OpenLove101.com, as they discuss common misconceptions about consensual non-monogamy. With over 20 years of combined experience in open relationships and coaching thousands of couples, John and Jackie tackle the judgmental statements and questions they hear repeatedly. In this episode, they address myths like "that is disgusting," explore jealousy in open relationships, discuss how they handle conversations with their children, and much more. Whether you're curious about alternative relationship models or already living the lifestyle, this episode offers valuable insights on communication, boundaries, and navigating relationships with honesty. TIMESTAMPS: [00:00:00] Podcast introduction [00:00:48] Topic: Things people say about swingers [00:01:27] Addressing "That is disgusting, I would never let my partner do that" [00:06:23] Tackling "Don't you get jealous?" misconception [00:13:09] Discussing "Do you tell your children?" [00:17:53] Addressing "You must be sexual deviants" [00:20:26] Handling "I don't feel comfortable being around you anymore" John and Jackie emphasize the importance of communication in any relationship model and share how couples can set boundaries that work for them. They discuss how jealousy is often an umbrella term for deeper feelings like insecurity, and how facing these emotions head-on has actually strengthened their 13+ year relationship. Subscribe to our YouTube channel OpenLove101 and visit openlove101.com to sign up for our email list for articles, videos, and events updates! Like, subscribe, and leave a comment below sharing your thoughts on relationship communication! #OpenRelationships #ConsentualNonMonogamy #RelationshipAdvice #SwingLifestyle #CommunicationInRelationships

Being in the lifestyle doesn't mean consent is automatic. In this important video, John and Jackie from OpenLove101.com dive deep into the vital role of consent within the swinging community—especially in environments like swinger clubs and parties. They address common misconceptions, share real experiences, and emphasize that clear communication, mutual respect, and the ability to say "no" at any time are essential. From using safe words to navigating alcohol responsibly, this conversation is a must-watch for anyone seeking to explore ethically and confidently. 🔑 Consent is an ongoing conversation—never a one-time agreement. #OpenLove101 #ConsentMatters #SwingerLifestyle #SexualHealth #NonMonogamy #JohnAndJackie #OpenRelationships