Piers Torday - Children's Author & Playwright

Bernadette, who writes under - at time of recording - seven different pen names, shares some of her discarded projects including a novel about a cat in prison (not a children's book), a Jane Austen fan who meets a grisly end, and a historical tale of father/daughter derring do.   CAST: Emma Clarke, Shash Hira, Beth Chalmers, Noni Lewis, Marcus Hutton   Bernadette Strachan is the author of 28 novels published under multiple pseudonyms, including Juliet Ashton, Claire Sandy, Bernie Gaughan, MB Vincent, Alice Cavanagh and Catherine Miller, as well as her original publishing name, Bernadette Strachan. Her titles range from romantic comedies such as What Would Mary Berry Do? and Snowed in for Christmas to the crime-themed Jess Castle series. She co-wrote the musical Next Door’s Baby with Matthew Strachan, staged at the Orange Tree and Tabard theatres, and also wrote About Bill, performed at the Tabard. More recently, under the name Catherine Miller, she created a trilogy of Archers prequel novels for BBC Books, later adapted for BBC Radio 4. In 2023, as Alice Cavanagh, she published The House That Made Us.   For more details about Bernadette, her offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes:  offcutsdrawer.com/bernadette-strachan  

The writer & voice of BBC Radio 4's Ed Reardon shares the comedy scripts that missed the mark, got rejected by the commissioners or still remain unfinished. CAST: Nigel Pilkington, Chris Kent, Jake Yapp, Helen Goldwyn, Beth Chalmers, Emma Clarke Christopher Douglas is a British writer and performer, best known for co-writing and voicing Ed Reardon’s Week on BBC Radio 4 with the late Andrew Nickolds, a comedy series that has run for sixteen series and 100 episodes, and was twice recognized as Best Radio Programme by the Broadcasting Press Guild (2005, 2010). He has also created the character Dave Podmore and co-written the radio comedies Mastering the Universe (2 series) and Beauty of Britain (3 series), along with a radio adaptation of New Grub Street and his award-winning drama Tristram Shandy: In Development. On screen and stage, he scripted performances featuring the Nicholas Craig persona (with Nigel Planer) for the BBC, and he is the author of several books including Spartan Cricketer, I, An Actor…, and Ed Reardon’s Week. For more details about Christopher, his offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: offcutsdrawer.com/christopher-douglas  

A former television writer now an award-winning children’s novelist and playwright, Piers’ offcuts include an attempt at a romantic novel, a social media status update about a bossy weevil, and a sitcom based on the unlikely topic of his early life growing up on a farm during the foot & mouth pandemic.   offcutsdrawer.com/piers-torday  

Top Author & Writer Adele Parks shares clips of her writing that never made it to publication, plus some of her earliest literary attempts and and some very surprising NSFW poetry. CAST: Helen Goldwyn, Emma Clarke, Chris Pavlo and Beth Chalmers. Adele Parks has published more than twenty novels since her first, Playing Away, appeared in 2000. Her books have sold over five million copies and are translated into dozens of languages, regularly featuring in bestseller lists in the UK. She was recognised with an MBE in 2022 for her contribution to literature. Alongside her fiction, Parks has written for national newspapers and magazines, and she is an ambassador for The Reading Agency, supporting efforts to improve literacy and access to books.  Her output includes both romantic comedies and darker psychological thrillers, marking her as one of the most consistent and wide-reaching authors on the contemporary British publishing scene. For more details about Adele, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes:  offcutsdrawer.com/adele-parks

Novelist, blogger & script editor Lucy V Hay shares her writing that failed before she became a published novelist, and screenplays that have yet to find a home. Struggling with mental health issues and a subsequent cancer diagnosis, Lucy shares the story of how she went from being a teenage mum to becoming a successful novelist and script editor, and the driving force behind Bang2Write, one of the most well-regarded writing websites in the UK. Audio Note: Apologies but unexpected software issues caused the guest audio in this episode to be lower quality than usual. CAST: Emma Clarke, David Monteath, Beth Chalmers, Rachel Atkins and Christopher Kent Lucy V. Hay is a British screenwriter and novelist who writes under the names L.V. Hay and Lizzie Fry. As L.V. Hay, she has written crime fiction novels including The Other Twin, Do No Harm, Never Have I Ever, and Safe and Sound. As Lizzie Fry, she is the author of fantasy novels and thrillers including The Coven, Kill For It, The Good Mother, and Little Boy Missing. She runs the script development platform Bang2Write and is the author of several books on writing, including Writing & Selling Thriller Screenplays and Writing Diverse Characters for Fiction. She has worked as a script editor, is head reader for the London Screenwriters’ Festival, and has served as associate producer on Deviation (2012) and Assassin (2015). For more details about the writer, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: offcutsdrawer.com/lucy-v-hay

TV, film and radio comedy writer Dan Maier reveals a cornucopia of different formats for his offcuts that include a radio sketch written for a famous double act, a children's science fiction trilogy and a Victorian blog entry. CAST: Chris Pavlo, Jake Yapp, Helen Goldwyn, Nigel Pilkington and Emma Clarke Dan Maier is a television and radio writer with a career spanning satire, sitcoms, sketch, film, gameshow and comedy formats. He began writing for Have I Got News For You in the early 1990s and has contributed to television shows including Not Going Out, The Armstrong and Miller Show, 8 Out of 10 Cats, and Harry Hill’s TV Burp where he was part of the core writing team across 11 seasons and associated series’s. He collaborations with Charlie Brooker include writing on the various Wipe formats and co-writing the Sky1 spoof A Touch of Cloth. For Channel 4 he created and wrote the gameshow Quizness, and created and wrote the comedy series The Function Room. In films he’s written on Sasha Baron Cohen’s “The Brothers Grimsby” and The Harry Hill Movie. For BBC Radio he’s written on multiple sketch and satire shows, he had 2 series of his own surreal comedy Life on Egg and co-created and co-wrote the comedy-drama Trapped with his brother Mark. For more details about the writer, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: offcutsdrawer.com/dan-maier

Best-selling thriller novelist and author Louise Candlish shares her writing offcuts which include: a deleted chapter from one of her most successful novels, a TV drama that didn't get picked up, the prologue of an abandoned novel, a pitch for a book written before the idea was fully developed, and a couple of stories that reveal her taste for melodrama from a very young age. CAST: Beth Chalmers, Helen Goldwyn, Emma Clarke and Marcus Hutton Louise Candlish is an internationally bestselling author known for her contributions to contemporary crime and psychological thriller fiction. Since publishing her first novel in 2004, Candlish has released 18 novels - including The Island Hideaway (originally Prickly Heat), The Double Life of Anna Day, and The Swimming Pool. Her bestseller Our House (2018) won the British Book Awards Crime & Thriller Book of the Year in 2019 and was adapted into a major ITV drama. Candlish’s 2023 novel The Only Suspect garnered two prestigious awards: the Capital Crime Fingerprint Award for Thriller of the Year and the Ned Kelly Award for International Crime Fiction. Her 2024 novel Our Holiday was recognized as a Sunday Times Top 10 bestseller and was shortlisted for the Theakston Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year.  Her most recent book, A Neighbour’s Guide to Murder, is just published in the UK and will come out in 2026 in the US. Candlish’s work has been acknowledged repeatedly by industry awards, including longlistings for the Theakston Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year and shortlistings for the CWA Dagger in the Library Award. For more details about the writer, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: offcutsdrawer.com/louise-candlish  

Advertising copywriter and novelist Paul shares rejected scripts that include a screenplay about a cab-driving priest, a dog that could still become a household name and a romantic reunion for the radio. Cast: Chris Pavlo, David Lane Pusey, Helen Goldwyn, Christopher Kent, Marcus Hutton Warning: This episode contains strong language Paul Burke is a multi‑award‑winning advertising copywriter and producer, widely recognised as one of the UK’s foremost radio creatives. His work has earned him over 30 industry honours, including Cannes Lions and D&AD pencils. He has crafted memorable campaigns for major brands such as Barclaycard, VW, PG Tips, British Gas, and Budweiser, and has frequent experience directing radio commercials. As a novelist, Paul has published four books: Father Frank, Untorn Tickets, The Man Who Fell in Love with His Wife, and Kiss Like You Mean It. Alongside his fiction, he contributes regularly to publications like The Spectator, The Critic, Campaign and The Daily Mail and also appears frequently as a commentator on advertising, media, and culture for outlets including BBC Radio 4, BBC Five Live, and BBC London. Alongside his studio work, journalism, and novel-writing, Paul serves as a judge for creative and literary awards, helping to shape the next generation of storytelling talent. For more details about the writer, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: offcutsdrawer.com/paul-burke/

Writer and storyteller Lynn Ferguson shares a mixed bag of offcuts that include a London love story, a nightmare foxhunt, a ghostly family reunion and a family saga of oil-magnate ducks. CAST:  David Monteath, Nigel Pilkington, Gayanne Potter, Christopher Kent, Beth Chalmers Warning: This episode contains strong language Lynn Ferguson is a writer and story coach whose work spans radio, television, theatre, film and live storytelling. She began her career writing for BBC Scotland’s Megamag, and went on to create the Radio 4 sitcom Millport. Her radio work includes dramas, fairy tales and comedy monologues, while for TV she wrote for The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and developed pilots for BBC Two and Channel 4. She was also a script consultant on Pixar’s movie Brave. She played a main character in Aardman Animations' hit film Chicken Run and its sequel Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget, which she was a writer on too. Her stage plays have been a regular presence at the Edinburgh Fringe, where she’s had eight works produced, including Heart and Sole, Careful, and The Weir Sisters. She won a Fringe First Award and the Stage Award for Acting Excellence. Now based in Los Angeles, Ferguson also writes short films and non-fiction, with bylines in The Scotsman, The Stage, and Time Out. For more details about the writer, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: offcutsdrawer.com/lynn-ferguson/ .  

"Swearing consultant", screenwriter and producer Ian Martin shares a combination of film scripts and short stories that include tales of gory ghosts, a mosquito-ridden dystopia, and body-swapping in the Bible. Cast: Beth Chalmers, Keith Wickham, Kenny Blyth, Christopher Kent, Emma Clarke and Nigel Pilkington This episode contains very STRONG LANGUAGE Ian Martin is a BAFTA- and EMMY-winning comedy writer best known for his scathing political satire on The Thick of It, where he served as the show’s “swearing consultant” and for his work on HBO’s Veep. A longtime collaborator with Armando Iannucci, his credits also include Time Trumpet, The Death of Stalin, and many articles and books, including his parody of Boris Johnson's memoir Unleashed called Unhinged. Martin is celebrated for his razor-sharp dialogue and darkly comic take on modern politics. For more details about the writer, the offcuts and the actors performing them see the episode show notes: https://offcutsdrawer.com/ian-martin/