Wrap Pt 2: Becoming on Purpose + Weaving the Light

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY -- You’ve spent a month practicing gentler ways to carry what can’t be undone—and that practice is portable.Journal prompt: “My takeaway from October—the thing I’ll actually use—is…”Write one flicker sentence you believe today: “I can start small and still be real.” Build a 24-hour rebuild weave on a note you’ll see tomorrow: one light/witnessing anchor, one 7–10 minute brick, one value-aligned step. Then step into November by adding a calendar block titled “Rough Day Plan” and pasting your flicker-brick-step and threshold ritual into the description.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Copy your October sentence onto a sticky or lock screen.Healing (medium): Set the 24-hour weave for tomorrow (flicker, brick, step).Becoming (higher): Add the “Rough Day Plan” block weekly through November.To end today -- to end the month: This work was never about being fixed. It’s about being held—by small, repeatable moves that meet you where you actually live. On the hard days ahead, you don’t have to invent courage; you can borrow it from your own practice: speak their name, steady your body, take one step that includes you. That is how the season gets survivable—one honest inch at a time.Community & App (don’t miss this): The Leftover Pieces app keeps your support close—calendar, resources, meetups, and one-tap entry to the Lighthouse Community. Anyone can download it to follow along; if you’re a community member or former client, the app makes access effortless. Inside: multiple support groups, a monthly Full Moon ritual, guest LIVE events, an ever-growing resource library, chats, and more. The first month of community is always on me—because I believe that deeply in what it’s becoming. Come in when you’re ready; everything’s easier in the app.Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY -- Identity trickled back in micro-acts, and then we stitched everything together with thresholds, pacing, and touchstones.Journal prompt: “A boundary that made room for me was…”Name one or two flickers of identity you lived this month—maker, advocate, listener—and keep them visible. Rebuild by pairing a three-beat threshold (Open • Be in it • Close) with one pacing move on your calendar (opt out/leave early/tap-in ally). Step by doing one ten-minute value act today (“I live kindness by sending a three-sentence encouragement”), and schedule it twice next week so repetition does the heavy lifting.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Speak one identity word out loud and rest your hand on your chest.Healing (medium): Use Open + Close around one task today.Becoming (higher): Do your 10-minute value act and schedule it twice for next week.To end today: Becoming isn’t betrayal; it’s continuity. You’re letting love move through you in shapes that fit the life you have now. The point isn’t to be unhurt—it’s to be resourced. When you combine a true word about who you are, a humane boundary, and one small act, you reclaim choice without abandoning your grief.Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY --We started by finding light you could actually hold, then practiced repairs small enough to repeat.Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from these first two weeks is…”Gather three flickers that worked for you—window light, their bracelet, a five-minute witness. Then build a mini rebuild stack you can run in ten minutes: one body reset (3-3-6 breath or warm/cold contrast), one Brick-of-the-Day (clear a square, pay one bill), and one connection move (five-minute witnessing ask or self-witness memo). Step by pinning a note titled “Weeks 1–2 Keepers” so it’s one tap away on rough days.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Do one flicker only. Stop there.Healing (medium): Run the mini stack with a timer and drink water afterward.Becoming (higher): Schedule the mini stack three times over the next seven days.To end today: You don’t have to remember the whole month when grief blindsides you—just where to begin. Ten minutes of practiced care beats an hour of bargaining with yourself. Keep your kit within reach. Familiar steps don’t trivialize your pain; they give it rails to run on so you can make it through the day you’re in.Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY --When the road tilts, leave breadcrumbs for the you who has to walk it.Journal prompt: “If Future-Me spoke up today, she’d ask me to…”Offer flicker by telling November-You one true thing that helped this month—maybe the “Window light + long exhale" from a fe weeks ago? Rebuild with a five-sentence note: greet her by name; name one practice that steadied you; offer one boundary to keep; name one touchstone to carry; close with permission to opt out/leave early/ask for help. Then step by delivering it—email it to yourself with the subject “Open Nov 1,” or schedule it as a calendar note. Bonus: read it out loud, so your body hears your care.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Write sentence #2 (what helped) and #5 (permission). Stop there.Healing (medium): Write all five sentences and schedule delivery.Becoming (higher): Share the letter with a safe person and ask them to check in the first week of November.To end today: Future-you doesn’t need perfection; you needs proof you’re on your side. Kind instructions travel farther than pressure because they’re believable on a hard morning or any hard time. When the first cold week hits, you won’t have to reinvent care—you’ll open your note and follow the warmest path you already walked.Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY --Holidays and anniversaries come with scripts you didn’t write. Permission language lets you carry your truth into rooms that may not know how to hold it.Journal prompt: “One event I’m resizing this season is… I’ll protect my energy by saying…” Even before the day arrives, give yourself a flicker of relief by writing one sentence you can actually say out loud: “I’m keeping things simple this year.” Then rebuild by placing that sentence where your future self will find it—save it as a text snippet, pin it in notes, or draft it to your ally with, “If I freeze, please echo this for me.” Finally, step by using the line once in a low-stakes context (rescheduling coffee, leaving a call early) so your nervous system remembers it works when the stakes are higher.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Choose one sentence and save it to notes. Read it once aloud.Healing (medium): Send your line to one ally and ask them to back you up if needed.Becoming (higher): Use the line once this week in a gentle situation and log how your body felt after.To end today: Permission isn’t about winning arguments; it’s about staying intact. Clear sentences shrink the distance between what you feel and what you say, which lowers the cost of showing up. Some people may not love your limits, and that’s information—not a mandate to abandon yourself. Practice now, in easy places, so your words are ready when the room gets loud.Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY -- Integration is mostly editing—conserving what helps, quietly retiring what doesn’t.Journal prompt: “If I gave my energy a budget, I’d spend more on… and less on…” Scan this month for flickers that actually eased a day—witnessing, one brick finished, a boundary honored, light as companion—and keep them on purpose. Rebuild with a quick three-column check: KEEP (works), DROP (drains), ADJUST (tweak). Aim for three bullets total; simple wins. Then step by committing to one change—schedule the keeper as a repeating block, remove a drainer from the calendar, or place an object (candle, water bottle, bracelet) where it will cue the tweak.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Write one KEEP item. Stop there.Healing (medium): Do the full three-column check and circle one line.Becoming (higher): Put the circled item on your calendar with a repeat.To end today:Editing your grief life is an act of respect—for your person and for your nervous system. After suicide loss, you don’t owe the world the version of you that bleeds the most to prove you loved them. Keep what steadies you, drop what drains you, and adjust the practices that almost work. This is not giving up; it’s maturing your care. Let the metrics be honest: Did I breathe easier? Did recovery time shorten? Did I feel even a sliver more like myself? Put the keepers on repeat and let the rest go without a courtroom trial. Your energy is finite and precious; spend it where love can actually build something. Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY -- Touchstones let love travel with you without making every minute heavy.Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from this month is…”Choose one flicker that feels like company: a phrase they loved, ten seconds of their song, a color that calls them to mind. Rebuild by placing a tiny touchstone where real life happens—light a candle at dinner, wear the bracelet, set a photo by the door, speak their name before you leave the house. Then step by anchoring it to a daily moment: “When I grab my keys, I touch the bracelet,” or “When the kettle clicks, I say their name.” Small, repeatable, merciful.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Speak their name once and place a hand on your chest.Healing (medium): Put one touchstone where you’ll naturally see/use it.Becoming (higher): Share your touchstone plan with a safe person and invite them to mirror it once this week.To end today:Legacy is not a museum; it’s a living room. Touchstones let love move with you—into the kitchen, the car, the checkout line—without requiring a speech every time. After a suicide, memory can feel sharp or complicated; gentle, chosen rituals blunt the edge just enough to hold it. Speaking their name before you leave the house or hearing ten seconds of “their” song is not dwelling—it’s belonging. You’re showing your body that remembering is allowed and survivable. If a touchstone stings today, choose a lighter one; the goal isn’t performance, it’s companionship. Over time, these tiny ties stitch a steadier way to carry them forward without disappearing yourself. Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Reacting vs. Responding in Grief — Life After Suicide LossToday I’m “down the rabbit hole,” teasing apart reacting vs. responding after traumatic loss—not to shame reactions (they’re human), but to widen the space where we can choose. We’ll touch nervous-system patterns (fight/flight/freeze/fawn/flop), how to spot activation in real time, and how tiny, honest choices build a life aligned with values.If you’ve been listening to October’s Daily Nuggets, this pairs with Hope → Healing → Becoming very wellReaction: fast, automatic, discomfort-ending; urgent; body running the show. Response: chosen, value-aligned; includes feelings; checks context/impact. After suicide loss, we’re not “broken,” we’re activated. The work is creating a small gap between impulse and action so love gets a say.Five protection styles (no shame, just data): Fight • Flight • Freeze • Fawn • Flop Tiny mantra: “My body is loud. I don’t have to obey it.”How to tell you’re reacting (so you can pivot): Body (jaw/chest/gut, heat/cold, tunnel vision, fatigue) • Thoughts (catastrophe, always/never, fixing others) • Behavior (fast texts, ghosting, auto-yes). Common activators: the day they died (aka 'the worst day'), songs, smells, certain phrases, etc—treat as green lights to pause.I give a real, recent example in the episode of how this concept shows up for me now that I am more practiced at responding over being on autopilot and just reacting.... AND here are two grounded general (common) examples:The Hot Text: Phone face-down → 3 breaths → “This is fight” → normalize → draft, don’t send → after sleep, keep 2 lines, delete 10. Relationship and nervous system preserved.The Family Invite: Values check (honesty, tenderness, capacity) → two-liner: “Thanks for including me. I’m keeping things gentle this month and won’t make it, but I’m sending love.”Top 5 tools (details in the PDF inside the Lighthouse Community Library)Thread back to Hope → Healing → Becoming Hope = capacity (not cheer). Healing = nervous-system literacy. Becoming = the widening gap between impulse and action—where love, truth, and capacity meet.“When the wave lifts, I do not argue the sea. I plant my feet, name the water, and choose the next breath.” 💜Community Soon you will find the Download with examples in the Library inside The Moms Lighthouse Community (link below)Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY -- The season gets crowded. Capacity isn’t disloyalty—it’s logistics for a heart carrying a lot.Journal prompt: “A boundary that made room for me was…”Choose your pace before the week chooses it for you. Let a flicker of relief lead: make one clear decision today and notice your shoulders drop. Rebuild with a concrete move—opt out (“Not this year”), leave early (“I can stay 45 minutes”), or tap-in an ally (someone who runs interference or signals the exit). Then step it onto the calendar: add start/exit times or your ally’s name and plan in the event notes so Future-You doesn’t have to negotiate in the moment.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Remove one non-essential event this week.Healing (medium): Add an exit time to one commitment and text your ally.Becoming (higher): Add pacing notes to three upcoming events (opt out / leave early / ally + signal).To end today:Grief after suicide rarely fits the calendar the world hands you. Pacing isn’t selfish; it’s survival planning for a heart that’s still rebuilding. When you opt out, leave early, or bring an ally, you’re not disrespecting tradition—you’re refusing to sacrifice yourself to it. Your capacity will change week to week; let your plans change with it. The people who love you can handle clarity, and the ones who can’t are telling you something useful. There is no prize for white-knuckling through an event that costs you three days of recovery. Choose the version of participation that lets you wake up tomorrow with a little more breath than today. Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.

Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE TODAY -- When grief spikes—anniversaries, rooms that hold their echo—having a beginning and an ending lets your body know you’re not trapped inside the moment.Journal prompt: “My threshold ritual will be…”Hard moments deserve structure. Begin with a flicker that signals you’re entering on purpose—touch a photo or step outside and name the sky. Move into rebuild with a simple be-in-it container: time-box twenty minutes, breathe a long exhale on the minute, keep a touchstone in your hand. Then step out with a deliberate close: blow out the candle, wash hands or face, step outside and say, “I’m done for today.” Rehearse the three beats once on something smaller (scrolling photos, one phone call) so your body recognizes the exits when it counts.Choose-your-energy menu:Hollow (low): Do only the Close after a hard moment—wash hands, step outside, say “I’m done for today.”Healing (medium): Use Open + Close around one task (light candle → do the thing → blow it out).Becoming (higher): Run all three beats on a planned event; set a timer and jot one line afterward about what helped.To end today: Thresholds aren’t superstition; they’re trauma-aware choreography. When suicide loss surges, your body loses track of time—starts feel like ambushes and ends feel impossible. A simple open/close tells your nervous system, “There’s a door here.” You get to enter remembering on purpose, be with it for a finite span, and then leave with your dignity intact. If someone doesn’t understand why you wash your hands after scrolling or blow out a candle after a hard conversation, that’s fine—the ritual isn’t for them. It’s a breadcrumb trail for you, a way to keep love close without letting pain run the whole house. Practice on small moments now so, on the big ones, your feet already know the way out. Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜Support the show__________________________________________________________________________ Get THE Leftover Pieces APP & don't miss anything! CLICK HERE 💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts. 🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement. 🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope. 🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here. 🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here. 📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.