5 Questions Parents & Adult Kids Need to Ask Each Other

Healthy families keep getting to know each other. We tend to think we already know our family, but people change, and when we stop asking questions, we start assuming intentions instead. Jesus ran into this too: in John 14, he asks Philip, “Don’t you know me...even after I have been among you such a long time?” Even Paul kept pursuing "that I may know him" in Philippians 3, present tense, never finished. If our relationship with Jesus keeps evolving, so does every relationship we're in, and that includes the people at our own table.In this episode, we walk through five conversation starters, mostly for adult kids and their parents, though they work with siblings, friends, or your own teenager too. This is less about family trivia and more about what actually formed the people you love.5 Questions to Ask:Who were you before you were my parent?What happened to you that shaped you more than I realized?What was it actually like to be you in our family?Is there anything between us that makes it harder to be close?Who are you becoming, and how can I love you well now?When someone's answer is hard to hear, we talk about the one response that changes everything. Don't defend or explain. Simply say "tell me more." If you’re willing to ask brave questions, be prepared for brave answers. One piece of wisdom before you press play: don't ask all five at once. Pick one question, one person, and let it unfold over time, since getting to know each other isn't a one-time project, it's a lifelong rhythm. And as you go, ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment for what to ask and when, and watch him do healing work in places you didn't even know needed it.Scripture Mentioned: John 14:9, Philippians 3:10, Matthew 13:1-23, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Proverbs 28:1 + Psalm 139:23-24Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

This week, we open up about Sowing a Hidden Seed: Daily Prayers for Your Marriage to Heal, Grow and Flourish, our new prayer devotional for marriage, and the honest, sometimes hard road that led us to write it. This isn't a book born from a picture-perfect marriage. It came from a real one: two people who have had to learn, over and over, that marriage is worth the fight even when it's hard.We walk through the heart of the devotional and where it came from, including a reflection from the Sermon on the Mount on what it looks like to be blessed and flourishing, even in the middle of struggle. We talk honestly about how neither of us can thrive in marriage on our own strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit. We also share how the writing process itself became a lesson in marriage: two people learning, again, what it means to become one.From there, we read from two of our favorite (and hardest won) days in the devotional: “Speaking Life” and “Tenderness,” days that speak directly to areas we've each had to grow in. We talk about the practice of praying borrowed prayers when you don't have your own words yet. And ultimately, we emphasize the comforting reality that if you and your spouse aren't currently praying together, that's okay. Give yourself permission to start where you are. It will feel awkward at first, and it gets easier as you build a joint practice of prayer.If you're not praying together as a couple, let this be your invitation to start, one small, imperfect prayer at a time.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:1-12Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

This week, Brook and Elizabeth answer your real questions on marriage, ministry life, and parenting without a blueprint. First, we tackle supporting a spouse through mental health challenges and healing work, while avoiding enabling and codependency. This often requires doing your own work, not hiding behind theirs. It's easy to excuse yourself because your spouse "has more to heal from," but compassion and personal growth have to go together.Next, we dive into staying yourself while honoring a spouse who values structure more than you do, starting with remembering your differences aren't a problem to fix. Sameness was never the goal. It's worth knowing which hills are actually worth dying on.From there, we talk about the myth of true balance between parenting and ministry. Some seasons ask more of your work, some ask more of your family, and they rarely line up neatly. What matters is stepping back to check the ratio over the long haul, so one area isn't quietly draining another.We also get into parenting without a healthy example growing up, and why it takes real intention. You need models, whether that's books, podcasts, or watching other families closely, because even a good childhood didn't prepare anyone for parenting in today's world. The real turning point is recognizing a pattern isn't working before you can choose something different.Finally, we land on what to do when you're too exhausted or brain dead to spend time with the Lord. We talk about how He isn't guilting you into showing up. He sees your exhaustion and still wants to connect inside of it, which is why ritual matters so much, so you do it regardless of how you feel that day. He's not asking you to try harder, just to come as you are.If any of this sounds familiar, we hope it's a reminder that you're not walking through any of this alone.Scripture Mentioned: James 1:2-5 + John 5:39-40Book Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald RolheiserPrevious Episode Mentioned: You're Not Broken: Finding Freedom and Clarity Through an Adult ADHD Diagnosis (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts)INTRODUCING… Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition, a 31-day prayer devotional for marriage, available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

Are you disappointed? In your marriage, your kids, your job, your friendships, even your relationship with Jesus? Maybe there's a quiet voice saying "it could be better," and you're not sure what to do with that.This week, we sit with disappointment: what it actually is, what Scripture says about it, and how it can become a place of growth instead of just a place of hurt. We share honestly from our own lives, including the disappointment we've walked through around physical pain and suffering, and the very human instinct to protect ourselves from ever being let down again. Choosing to hope is a risk. It means choosing to be disappointed too, and we talk about what it looks like to take that risk anyway, and to ask a better question than "why did this happen": what will bring God glory in this?We look at what disappointment brings to the surface: hidden expectations, unhealthy attachments, the places where we've been grasping for control, and false assumptions about God and about other people. Scripture never treats disappointment as a failure of faith. It gives us lament instead of denial, a way to bring our full, honest selves to God rather than around Him.We also draw from the Desert Mothers and Fathers, who saw disappointment as part of spiritual formation itself, and from Elisabeth Elliot's reminder that the secret was never a different set of circumstances, but Christ in her. That's the destination we're aiming for: not the removal of disappointment, but a deeper trust inside of it.Four practical ways to move through disappointment:Name itExamine the expectation beneath itFeel it without numbing itSurrender what you cannot controlScripture Mentioned: Psalm 13:1, Psalm 22:1, Proverbs 13:12, Luke 22:39-44, 1 Samuel 1 and 2 + Psalm 6:6INTRODUCING… Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition, a 31-day prayer devotional for marriage, available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

This week, Elizabeth sits down with her parents, Phil and Diane, for a follow-up on our conversation on generations. If the previous episode cast the vision for the role of a grandparent, this episode gets practical: what does it actually look like to set the table and bridge the gap between generations?We talk through four stories every parent and grandparent needs to be telling, stories that give our kids and grandkids a cohesive picture of what a life with God actually looks like. The first is our salvation story, the story of how we came to truly walk with Jesus. The second is our calling story, which isn't only about ministry work. It includes our vocation, our roles, our passion projects, and the stories behind how we found them, with the reminder that gifting usually grows slowly, rarely on the timeline we'd choose. The third is our God-working story, a look at what He has done and what He is doing, told as a whole journey rather than a highlight reel. And the fourth is our generational story. This is the story of our own family, both the hard parts and the good ones, so our kids gain a compassionate framework for where their people came from, along with a clear sense of what to carry forward and what to leave behind.Underneath all of it is a quiet act of resistance. In a culture quick to cancel parents instead of seeking healing with them, telling these stories honestly, including the unanswered prayers and the hard chapters, is how we choose repair over rupture. Psalm 145 says one generation shall praise God's works to another, and shall eagerly utter the abundance of His goodness. That's not just a nice verse. It's a description of what we're actually called to do.This episode is a practical, story-shaped conversation on legacy, honesty, and what it means to hand your family a true picture of God's faithfulness, one generation at a time.Previous Episode Mentioned: More Than Spectators: The Unique Role of Grandparents in Leaving a Legacy for the Next Generation (Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTube)Scripture Mentioned: Psalm 145:3-7, Psalm 107:2, John 4:1-42, Ephesians 2:10, Proverbs 22:29, Psalms 145:8-19 + Proverbs 4:7Books Mentioned: He Speaks in the Silence, Garden City + Raising Passionate Jesus FollowersPracticing the Way Genogram WorkbookPrimal PathIntentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden SeedJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

Is the culture of your family built in the vision statement or on Sunday nacho night?This week, we talk about what actually forms a family: not the big goals we write down, but the small, repeated moments nobody puts on a calendar. We unpack why connection, rather than correction, is the real foundation kids launch from and come back to.We talk through what works against us: fragmented schedules, everyone on their own device, and different emotional worlds, creating a family life that just happens instead of one we build on purpose. And we get honest about the cost. Saying yes to being the house all the teenagers hang out at costs something, including time, noise, groceries, and other inconveniences. But it also puts your kids on mission with you, right in your own living room.We walk through three small, doable shifts: shared rituals that build belonging, connection before correction, and presence over perfection. It's not about doing more. It's about protecting what's already there.Along the way, we get specific, sharing some of our own family's traditions, moments of connection, and the little rhythms that have quietly become the culture of our homes.This episode is a personal, Scripture-anchored conversation on family rhythms, hospitality, and raising kids who know home is a safe place to come back to.4 Things to Try This Week:Protect one daily touchpoint.Eliminate one barrier.Practice full attention moments.Create one weekly rhythm.Scripture Mentioned: 2 Peter 1:13, Deuteronomy 6:4-9 + Psalm 65Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden SeedJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

In a world where parenting advice is always at our fingertips, why do so many of us feel like we're failing? In this episode, we talk about the pressure to get parenting "right," the anxiety that comes from endless information, and the lie so many mothers carry: I'm not enough. Drawing from responses at our recent Motherhood Retreat, we explore what Scripture says about dependence on God, including Jesus' words, "Blessed are the poor in spirit," and the reminder in 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 that our sufficiency comes from Him, and not from mastering the latest parenting technique.We also discuss what it looks like to quiet the noise by curating your inputs, discerning truth from subtle lies, returning to the actual child God has entrusted to you, and embracing the limitations of your current season. Rather than striving for perfect formulas, we're invited to listen for the Holy Spirit's unique guidance for our families. We close by resting in God's promise from Isaiah 41:10, remembering that His presence, strength and grace are enough.Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:3, 2 Corinthians 3:4-6, Luke 5:16, Psalm 139:23-24, 2 Corinthians 12:9 + Isaiah 41:10Books Mentioned: Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Jacques PhilippeIntentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden SeedJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

This week, we sit down with Chad Blake, Executive Director of Intentional, and his wife Hillary, dear friends who share their personal journey through infertility, miscarriage, grief, and ultimately, hope. With honesty and vulnerability, they reflect on the pain of longing to grow their family, the challenges of navigating infertility, and the ways God’s faithfulness sustained them through seasons of deep suffering and uncertainty.Throughout the conversation, Chad and Hillary share what it was like to walk through years of uncertainty, prayerfully consider medical options, experience the heartbreak of pregnancy loss, and wrestle with questions about God’s presence in suffering. They discuss the unique ways infertility impacts both men and women, the loneliness that can accompany long seasons of waiting, and the importance of having people who are willing to sit with you in grief rather than trying to fix it. As they candidly share their experiences with miscarriage, anxiety, therapy, and healing, they offer wisdom for those walking through similar struggles and for those seeking to support loved ones dealing with infertility.At the heart of this conversation is a powerful reminder that God is with us in our pain. Rather than offering easy answers or neatly tying a bow around suffering, Chad and Hillary explore how faith makes room for both joy and sorrow, grief and hope. They reflect on how seasons of pain and waiting turned theological theory into lived reality, and how God’s faithfulness through every chapter has deepened their trust in Him. Their story is a testimony that while suffering is real, it does not have the final word, and that even when hope feels foolish, God remains present, trustworthy, and at work.Scripture Mentioned: John 11:35, Romans 8:28, John 14:9, John 1, Romans 4:18-22, Romans 5:3-5 + Luke 11:5-10Books Mentioned: The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, A Grace Disguised by Jerry L. SittserIntentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden SeedJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

What are we passing on to those who come after us? In this episode, we explore the powerful and often overlooked role of grandparents, who are called not to be spectators but bridge-builders between generations. At the heart of the conversation is the Hebrew phrase L’dor V’dor (לְדוֹר וָדוֹר), meaning “from generation to generation,” a beautiful picture of faith, wisdom, and legacy being intentionally passed down.We discuss the tension many grandparents feel between stepping back too much and overstepping their role, and how healthy involvement can be one of the greatest gifts they offer their families. Investing in children and grandchildren often requires sacrifice, flexibility, and generosity, but it also creates opportunities to leave a lasting spiritual legacy. Grandparents have a unique opportunity to encourage their adult children while helping shape the faith and character of future generations.Three Key Roles of Grandparents:Rememberers: Passing down stories of God’s faithfulness and the lessons learned through both successes and failures.Blessers: Speaking life, truth, encouragement, and identity into the lives of children and grandchildren.Embodiers: Modeling a lifelong walk with Jesus through the way they live, love, and persevere.Ultimately, grandparents have the opportunity to become living proof of the gospel, not through perfection, but through lives that demonstrate that faith can endure hardship, mistakes can be redeemed, relationships can be restored, and following God is worth it. This episode invites listeners to consider the kind of legacy they are building today and what it means to faithfully pass on something of lasting value from generation to generation.Scripture Mentioned: Luke 6:38, Acts 20:35, Psalm 78:1-8, Hebrews 11, 2 Peter 3:1, Deuteronomy 4:9-10, Psalm 105:5, Psalm 103:2, Psalm 92:12-15 + Romans 12:2Books Mentioned: It's Not About Me by Max Lucado + The Blessing by John TrentPrevious Episodes Mentioned: Your Children Will Become Who You Tell Them You See Them Becoming: The Blessing Part 1 (Spotify + Apple Podcasts) + Your Children Will Become Who You Tell Them You See Them Becoming: The Blessing Part 2 (Spotify + Apple Podcasts)Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden SeedJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

In this episode, we explore the history of purity culture, how it emerged as a response to the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 70s, and the lasting impact it has had on a generation of Christians now raising their own kids. While many parents and church leaders were motivated by a genuine desire to protect young people and uphold biblical values, purity culture often reduced purity to virginity and communicated messages rooted in fear, shame, and performance rather than grace.We discuss how these teachings affected both men and women, the pressure and responsibility often placed on women, and the ways purity culture shaped how many people view sex, relationships, and their own worth. We also talk about the challenges it created for those who carried shame from their past, as well as those who struggled to embrace sexuality as a good gift from God after years of hearing that desire itself was dangerous.Most importantly, this conversation is about hope. The gospel reminds us that our identity is not defined by our failures and that God's grace is greater than any mistake we have made. We discuss how the church can move toward a healthier, more biblical understanding of sexuality, one that honors God's design while making room for grace, healing, and honest conversations.We close with three practical takeaways:Give your kids a theology of the body, not just a list of rules. Teach them that their bodies are good, desire is healthy, attraction is normal, and intimacy is sacred.Give your kids a view of grace that is bigger than their failures. Help them understand that they are not defined by their worst decisions and are never beyond God's forgiveness and redemption.Give them wisdom instead of formulas. Equip them with discernment and the ability to navigate life's complexities rather than relying on simple rules or guarantees.Scripture Mentioned: Colossians 3:1-17, Matthew 5:8 + Mark 9:24Previous Episode Mentioned: 20 Years From Now: What You'll Wish You Focused On As a Parent (w/ Sally Lemos, MS, LPC) (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts)Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden SeedJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series