109. Stop Hugging the Cactus: When Your Thoughts Are Causing You Pain

"I just want to feel better." Sound familiar? Then you're a lot like my clients who struggle to dream big and go after their fullest potential.In this week's episode, I talk about the benefits of setting big goals, aiming high, and deciding to transform your life completely rather than just tweaking what you've already got.That growth experience and the process of becoming you 2.0 is too good to miss out on just because your brain is a little worried about the effort required. Let's go.Work with me:https://katrinberndt.com/program

I'm not taking any prisoners in this week's episode. It's time we have a serious conversation about "What if I'm right to be anxious and jealous?"I have a very firm belief about this thought and looking back at your past self, with 20/20 hindsight. I decided very early on in my journey that I would never think this specific thought, and in this week's episode, I'll share why.Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings drive your actions. So if you want to change, you need to change your thoughts. Simple enough, right?Well... wrong. It CAN be that simple in very rare cases, but most of the time it requires a lot of hard work. And that's the hard work we are going to talk about in this week's episode.No more "half-assing" it and then complaining that it doesn't work, okay?Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Social media is full of shitty relationship advice that usually just perpetuates the anxiety, jealousy, insecurity, and confusion that grumpy girlfriends struggle with.The advice we talk about in this episode is not objectively good or bad, but from the perspective of being a grumpy girlfriend, it does little to help.   In this week's episode, I debunk some common, shitty relationship advice and expectations that fuel your grumpiness.Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Are the certain topics in your relationship that just keep causing you pain? Frustration? Anxiety? All you want is for reality to be different than it is... because YOU ARE RIGHT. Your thought is true. And reality is just not playing along.In this week's episode, we talk about hugging the cactus. Something all humans do in their lives. But our capacity to let go of the cactus and take a step back will directly determine how much pain and frustration we live with on a daily basis.How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-seriesContact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

This is a guided coaching episode that I recommend you listen to if you have been triggered by something in your relationship.The goal of processing a trigger like this is to flush the fight or flight response out of your system so you can access your intelligent brain again. We don't want to trust and act on our perception of reality when our emotions are heightened and our nervous system is entirely shot.Always acting on your triggers and urges is not healthy for any relationship.How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-seriesContact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Have you ever thought that your partner is the problem in your relationship? That their behavior is the problem that needs to be solved? Then this is the episode for you.We are never more disempowered than when we give someone or something else in our lives credit for being the "problem"... because that also makes them the solution. In this week's episode, I share what needs to happen in order for you to be able to solve the problem in YOUR life! How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-seriesContact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Do you ever feel obsessed with your partner? Does it feel good... or not so much? Could it even become unhealthy if it goes on for too long? A while back I got a question from a girlfriend who struggled to differentiate between her feelings of love and what felt like an unhealthy obsession. So let's figure it out together!In this week's episode, I am joined by Daniel Penner Cline and Ron Cecil from the Cutting for Sign podcast. We discuss obsession in relationships and in true Grumpy Girlfriend Podcast fashion, we break down exactly what love and obsession mean and take it from there.My episode on Cutting for Sign:https://open.spotify.com/episode/0gabUiyPgX0B9D0W6jFQgw?si=cbf95c1eb5024e1bFind Ron and Daniel:https://www.instagram.com/dpennercline/https://www.instagram.com/roncecil_/Cutting for Sign:Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cutting-for-sign-with-ron-cecil-and-daniel-penner-cline/id1544882464Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Wd3kmJZIS0jCB46AbtiET?si=dd59a8461d994f9d

You've heard of people pleasing... saying yes to things you don't want to say yes to in order to manipulate people's thoughts and feelings about you. But what about retrospective people pleasing?In this week's episode, I dive into one of the biggest grumpy girlfriend red flags that I see when working with my clients. The "after all I've done for you" entitlement that shows up after reality doesn't turn out the way you thought it would (or should).How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-seriesContact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

No one has missed the importance of setting boundaries in life in order to stay safe and sound. But for a lot of grumpy girlfriends, this is an area of confusion, frustration, and trouble. Is it possible to set too many boundaries?Tune in to this week's episode to learn about what boundaries are, the most common boundary struggles for grumpy girlfriends, and how to make sure you're not giving your partner responsibility for managing your emotional life.Other episodes to check out:26. For Couples: “I get to do whatever I want” explained32. Am I putting up with too much?47. Am I overreacting?55. When your partner’s behavior goes against your values60. When your partner IS doing something wrong with Karilyn Ivers68. The Manual91. Wanting something vs. having a manual for someoneHow to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-seriesContact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt