359: Overcoming Emotional Hurdles in a Relationship Pt. 1 - Greatest Hits

Most of us were never taught how to feel emotions—let alone how to express them in a way that feels safe for us and the people we love. From family dynamics to gender norms to childhood survival strategies, our emotional patterns were shaped long before we had words to describe them. In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into one of the most common relationship struggles: how we respond to emotions—both our own and others'. They explore the battle between "too emotional" and "not emotional enough," sharing personal stories that reveal just how often those extremes are shaped by past pain. They also break down what's really happening in these moments—threat responses, nervous system dysregulation, and internalized judgments—and show what it looks like to feel without becoming consumed. Whether you've ever been shut down for having big feelings or felt overwhelmed by someone else's, this conversation will help you understand where those reactions come from and how to move toward emotional safety—for you and the people you care about. You won't want to miss this episode—it might just shift how you see emotional connection altogether. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to share pain in a way that brings connection. We were taught to explode, shut down, or stay silent—and those patterns don't just disappear when we get into relationships. In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the messy ways they both used to express pain—and the chaos it created in their marriage. From nonverbal shutdowns to emotional overwhelm and assumptions that turned into judgments, they explain how unspoken pain builds walls and leaves both people feeling powerless. You'll hear how their childhoods shaped their reactions, how misreading each other's signals led to bigger disconnects, and what it took to begin rewiring those patterns. If you've ever been told you're "too much" when you try to share your feelings—or you find yourself constantly shutting down instead of opening up—this episode will help you understand why. This is part one of a two-part series—don't miss it. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Empathy can be one of the most destructive forces to connection—or one of the most powerful. Without it, relationships become cold and judgmental. But too much of it, without boundaries, and we lose ourselves trying to carry everyone else's pain. So how do we find that middle ground? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack what healthy empathy looks like, and what happens when it gets twisted into judgment or codependency. They share raw and personal stories from their own marriage—navigating chronic illness, financial stress, different upbringings, and PTSD—to show how empathy helped them heal long-standing patterns of resentment, disconnection, and pain. You'll learn the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, how boundaries make empathy safer, and why being "too empathetic" can actually be a sign of unprocessed trauma. If you've ever struggled with being too empathetic, not empathetic enough, or confused about what empathy should look like in healthy relationships, this conversation is a game-changer. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Nothing is more frustrating than feeling stuck in a relationship where your partner refuses to change. Maybe you've had the same conversation a hundred times, but nothing ever shifts. Maybe they acknowledge the problem but don't take action. Or worse—maybe they don't even see an issue at all. In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into what to do when you're hitting a wall with your partner. They unpack the emotional toll of waiting for change, the difference between healthy patience and self-abandonment, and how to navigate the tension between acceptance and advocating for your needs. They also explore what true relational growth looks like—and why sometimes, the most powerful change you can make starts with yourself. If you've ever felt exhausted from trying to get your partner to evolve, this conversation will give you clarity, empowerment, and a new perspective on what's actually in your control. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Following your intuition can feel confusing. Sometimes it sounds like fear, sometimes like desire, and sometimes like silence when you need it most. But when you learn to tune into that deeper voice, it can become one of the most life-giving guides you have. In this episode, Justin and Abi share how a forced pause in their first year of marriage exposed all the fears, survival patterns, and limiting beliefs they had been running from—and how listening to their inner voice slowly transformed their lives. They talk candidly about panic, PTSD, and financial stress, as well as the practices that helped them reconnect to their authentic dreams, from vision boards and declarations to redefining what "productivity" really means. If you've ever felt stuck, disconnected from your desires, or afraid to trust yourself, this conversation will help you clear the noise and start following the voice that knows the way forward. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

We've all felt it—the pit in your stomach that says the good can't last, or the ache that whispers the pain will never end. Living braced for impact robs us of the very joy and resilience we're longing for. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about financial fears, health crises, PTSD, and the cycles of marriage that tested their ability to trust goodness. They share how childhood pain shaped their anxiety about loss, and what helped them shift from sabotage and foreboding to presence and freedom. From bite-sized safety practices to the science of post-traumatic growth, they unpack how to expand your capacity for joy, let go of false control, and anchor your well-being in something deeper than circumstances. If you've ever feared the other shoe will drop—or felt stuck in a season that won't end—this conversation will remind you: you can make it through, and you will be okay. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Chronic sickness can make you feel like you've lost yourself and that you're letting everyone else down too. It impacts more than just your body; it reshapes your identity, your relationships, and your sense of hope. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about their journeys with long-term illness, the pressure to push through, and the silent grief of not being who you used to be. They unpack how sickness affects connection, the loneliness of being in survival mode, and the power of regulating your nervous system to support healing. Whether you're the one who's sick or you love someone who is, this conversation will help you feel seen and remind you that your worth isn't tied to your capacity. There is hope, and it might look different than you expected. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Shame is one of the most powerful forces in relationships and one of the least recognized. It hides behind defensiveness, blame, denial, and emotional shutdowns. It keeps us from hearing each other, owning our impact, and creating real repair. But what if we could build shame resilience and become great at relationships? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the ways shame shaped their marriage—and what finally helped them break the cycle. They unpack why most people confuse shame with guilt, how shame can masquerade as moral failure, and why separating identity from behavior is essential for connection. From psychoeducation to spiritual perspective, they share what helped them heal. Whether you collapse when someone's upset with you, or go on the offense to avoid feeling wrong, this conversation will help you clarify what's happening and build the courage to show up with more ownership and compassion. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, holiday, or vacation—we often attach so much meaning and pressure to these moments that they end up feeling more stressful than special. But what if it doesn't have to be that way? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about how their own celebrations have stirred up unexpected grief, unmet expectations, and even old trauma. They unpack why we tend to expect too much from big life events and share what it actually takes to enjoy them—mess and all. From rethinking holiday traditions to letting go of fantasy-filled expectations, this conversation is filled with real talk, laughs, and practical ways to feel more grounded in life's most emotionally charged moments. If you've ever felt let down by an event that was "supposed to be" magical, this episode is for you. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Many of us can talk logically about our feelings and for years replay the same stories in an effort to make sense of the pain, yet never truly finding healing. But what if the secret to repair has been hiding in our bodies all along? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about their journeys with somatic counseling and what it looked like to reconnect with their bodies after years of dissociation, trauma, and anxiety. They share how completing "unfinished" instinctual responses, learning to say no without guilt, and noticing small physical cues transformed the way they handle conflict, boundaries, and experience healing. If you've ever felt stuck in your head, struggled to overcome pain, or been blindsided by triggers, this conversation is just what you're looking for. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!