Hiding In The Bathroom: Social Anxiety And You with Dr. Ellen Hendriksen & Arvind Rajan

What if the anxiety you feel walking into a meeting, networking event, or conference isn’t a personal flaw, but social anxiety? In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen talks about the psychology behind social anxiety and why avoidance keeps it alive. She breaks down the belief at the core of social anxiety and tools to challenge anxious thoughts, manage shame, and build confidence even when anxiety is still present. Then, entrepreneur and former LinkedIn executive Arvind Rajan shares what it’s like to build a successful career while living with social anxiety. Tune in to learn how to manage social anxiety, build confidence, and show up fully. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why social anxiety is the most common type of anxiety. 02:00 The 2 types of avoidance that keep social anxiety alive. 05:00 What’s the difference between generalized anxiety and social anxiety? 07:45 How social anxiety shows up in the workplace. 09:45 The strengths that often come with social anxiety. 14:00 How shame and fear of judgment affect leadership. 18:00 A framework for managing social anxiety. 22:45 When did you realize that you have social anxiety? 24:30 Why forcing yourself through anxiety doesn’t always work. 28:30 Why authenticity makes leaders more effective. 31:45 How leaders can build teams that support different personalities. Resources + Links Get Dr. Ellen Hendriksen’s book How to Be Yourself HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Ellen on LinkedIn @ellenhendriksen Follow Arvind on LinkedIn @arvindrajan

What if the skill that makes you a stronger leader is the same skill that protects free speech? In this episode, I’m joined by Greg Lukianoff, First Amendment attorney, to talk about emotional reasoning, why discomfort isn’t the same as danger, and what happens when we start treating speech as violence. Greg shares how his own battle with depression and suicidal thoughts led him to CBT and how learning to question his thoughts transformed both his mental health and his leadership. Get ready to rethink what makes us mentally strong and why protecting speech may also mean protecting our resilience. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How cognitive distortions shape modern mental health. 07:30 Why Gen X values free speech differently. 13:15 Why words can hurt and still must be protected. 17:45 When does harmful speech cross the line? 21:00 What we lose when speech is treated as violence. 27:00 What does the First Amendment actually protect? 32:00 The emotional cost of defending unpopular speech. 37:00 How depression reshaped Greg’s life and leadership. 41:30 Why CBT works for anxious achievers. 44:30 What is the connection between CBT and the mental health crisis among young people? 48:30 The 3 “great untruths” shaping modern anxiety. 51:45 Why great leaders stay intellectually humble. 55:00 Why meaningful work can stabilize mental health. 59:00 How to protect yourself from social media manipulation. 01:01:30 A CBT technique to challenge negative thoughts. Resources + Links Learn more about the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE) HERE Get your copy of The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff & Jonathan Haidt Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Greg: on LinkedIn @greglukianoff + Instagram @glukianoff

What if the stress you feel at work isn’t just about deadlines or difficult bosses, but about your attachment style? In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Jack Hinman, founder and executive director of Engage Young Adult Transitions, to talk about how the patterns you develop in early childhood show up in your leadership, ambition, anxiety, and burnout. We break down secure, preoccupied, and avoidant attachment styles, how they influence the way you handle feedback and uncertainty, and why your “relationship operating system” doesn’t stop at home. Tune in to understand your patterns and learn how to lead from connection instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 The heartbreaking monkey experiment that shaped attachment theory. 06:30 What's the difference among secure, preoccupied, avoidant, and disorganized styles? 10:00 What happens when a preoccupied employee has an avoidant boss. 11:15 How does avoidant attachment show up in leadership? 15:45 What “secure” actually looks like at work. 18:45 How to “own the dynamic” in difficult workplace relationships. 20:30 Self-awareness is the foundation of good leadership. 23:00 Why uncertainty and change activate attachment patterns. 25:15 Why connection is both the outcome and the intervention. 28:45 What happens when two anxious leaders feed each other’s stress. 31:15 Why “anchors” are essential for healing attachment patterns. 34:45 Tools to regulate attachment triggers. Resources + Links Learn more about Dr. Jack Hinman and Engage Young Adult Transitions HERE! Learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills and resources HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

What if the biggest obstacle to your performance isn’t your workload or your leadership challenges, but your own mind? In this episode, I sit down with Shirzad Chamine, founder and CEO of Positive Intelligence, to talk about the habits many anxious achievers rely on to succeed (i.e. hypervigilance, perfectionism, control, and constant striving), but that can drain energy, clarity, and confidence over time. Shirzad breaks down how overused strengths turn into self-sabotage, and the 10-second practice that helps you shift from stress and reactivity into calm, focused leadership. Get ready to learn how to work with your mind instead of against it. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why your mind can feel like your greatest ally and your biggest obstacle. 06:15 The 3 ways you judge yourself, others, and circumstances. 12:00 What's the difference between helpful emotions and self-sabotage? 14:15 Can anger and stress ever be productive? 18:00 The biological reason stress creates tunnel vision in high-stakes decisions. 20:00 What’s the real cost of overusing your strengths as a leader? 26:15 The shift that turns a leader’s vigilance from a strength into a liability. 31:15 The 5 Sage powers that improve wellbeing and results. 38:30 A 10-second PQ rep to calm anxiety fast. 41:00 Active grounding practices for restless or anxious minds. 48:00 How the Sage perspective turns any circumstance into a gift or opportunity. 56:45 Why hyper-achievement disconnects self-worth from success. 1:00:30 The shift from conditional to unconditional self-acceptance. Resources + Links Take the FREE Positive Intelligence assessment HERE Get your copy of Shirzad Chamine’s book Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours HERE Learn more about Positive Intelligence programs HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Shirzad on LinkedIn @shirzadchamine

Do difficult conversations keep you up at night, or do they make you want to avoid conflict altogether? In this episode, I sit down with workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo, author of Getting Along, to talk about how healthy conflict actually strengthens trust, decision-making, and leadership confidence. We dive into how our brains get emotionally hijacked during difficult conversations, how avoidance creates “conflict debt,” and why learning to stay grounded in discomfort may be one of the most important leadership skills we can build. Tune in to learn how to face conflict calmly to reduce anxiety and make you a more confident leader. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand, and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why conflict feels especially hard for anxious achievers. 04:30 How avoiding conflict increases anxiety. 06:15 What happens during an emotional “amygdala hijack”? 08:00 The cost of conflict avoidance and conflict debt. 10:30 How difficult conversations build confidence over time. 12:30 What is the role of shame and fear in workplace conflict? 17:00 How to practice conflict safely in low-stakes situations. 22:30 The 4-step framework for handling conflict better. 27:30 Finding shared goals during disagreement. 32:15 What to do when conflict keeps you up at night. 34:15 How to repair conversations that went badly. Resources + Links Get your copy of Amy’s book Getting Along HERE Learn more about Amy Gallo HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Amy: on LinkedIn @amyegallo + Instagram @amyegallo

For years, leadership has been associated with charisma, confidence, and speaking the loudest in the room. But what if some of the most powerful leadership traits are actually quiet ones? In this episode, I’m joined by leadership expert and author Jennifer Kahnweiler to talk about the strengths of introverted leaders. We break down the misconceptions around introversion, why many successful leaders are secretly introverted, and how preparation, listening, and thoughtful presence can become leadership superpowers. Tune in to rethink what effective leadership looks like and learn how quiet strengths can create lasting influence. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit ⁠https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree⁠ Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to ⁠http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever⁠ Talkiatry - Head to ⁠http://talkiaitry.com/achiever⁠ and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working ⁠http://genius.com⁠ Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to ⁠brevo.com/achiever⁠ and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why introverted leadership is often misunderstood. 03:45 What is an introverted leader? 06:00 What has changed and what hasn’t for introverts at work. 10:30 Are you adapting or just exhausted? 14:45 The 4 P’s of introverted leadership. 18:30 Why telling your team you’re an introvert is a leadership hack. 21:30 Why quiet men face unique workplace bias. 27:15 The connection between introversion, anxiety, and performance. 33:00 How introverted leaders prepare for high-stakes meetings. 35:15 Techniques to make meetings more introvert-friendly. 39:15 How giving teammates a heads-up increases participation. 44:30 How to show presence in meetings without talking more. 47:45 The introvert's guide to not burning out in a hybrid world. Resources + Links Learn more about Jennifer Kahnweiler ⁠HERE⁠ Listen to Jennifer’s podcast: ⁠The Introvert Ally Podcast⁠ Get a copy of my book - ⁠The Anxious Achiever⁠ Watch the podcast on ⁠YouTube⁠  Find more resources on our website ⁠morraam.com⁠ Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn ⁠@morraaronsmele⁠ + Instagram ⁠@morraam⁠ Follow Jennifer: on LinkedIn ⁠@jenniferkahnweiler⁠ + Instagram ⁠@jenniferkahnweiler

Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with  customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction. 04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict? 09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain. 12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation? 16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation. 23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes. 26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation. 32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity. 38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise? 41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked. 46:15 What is the listening triangle? 50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation? 57:00 How to build your rejection muscle. 01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation 01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence. Resources + Links Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen

Work is making people sick, and quick fixes are not enough. In this episode, I’m joined by Jen Fisher, former Chief Wellbeing Officer at Deloitte, to talk about why wellbeing isn’t a perk but a business imperative. We break down why burnout is often rooted in systemic issues and hopelessness, how middle managers shape our daily mental health, and why hope and an understanding of the human nervous system may be the most underrated leadership skills of all. Tune in to rethink what wellbeing means and what it takes to lead with hope right now. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why wellbeing is more than mental health benefits. 06:00 How burnout led Jen to pioneer the Chief Wellbeing Officer role. 13:00 What does “wellbeing at work” mean? 19:30 The ROI of fixing workplace culture. 23:00 Why does AI make us so anxious?  26:00 Why wellbeing must be part of organizational strategy. 30:00 How constant disruption dysregulates employees. 33:15 What is the definition of a successful leader? 37:15 What workplace data misses about human outcomes. 40:30 The #1 thing employees want from leaders. 46:00 Why middle management is the make-or-break layer. 51:00 Incentives drive culture more than values. 58:15 How to build a wellbeing role inside your organization. Resources + Links Get your copy of Jen’s book - Hope Is The Strategy Read Jen’s article: “The Wellbeing Imperative: What I Learned Pioneering the Chief Wellbeing Officer Role” Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jen: on LinkedIn @jenfisher + Instagram @jenfish23

You’re not trying to control people. You’re trying to help. But what if your “help” is quietly draining your team’s confidence, creativity, and trust? In this episode, I sit down with Professor Julia Milner of EDHEC Business School to talk about the psychology of micromanagement, especially the kind that comes from anxiety, care, and good intentions. We dive into the difference between constructive feedback and control disguised as questions, the “advice trap” that keeps leaders stuck, and why micromanaging often feels safer in the moment but costs you long-term trust, dialogue, and time. Tune in to learn how to replace fixing with serving, advice with curiosity, and control with empowerment. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why micromanagers often act from anxiety. 04:15 How to spot motivational micromanagement. 06:30 Why do you hate being micromanaged? 12:00 How micromanagement increases anxiety on both sides. 14:15 The subtle way “questions” can shut down dialogue. 18:00 How to give upward feedback without triggering defensiveness. 20:45 What it means to adopt a coaching mindset. 22:00 Phrases you can use to reset a micromanaging dynamic. 28:45 What’s the difference between feedback and feed forward? 30:30 How do you treat yourself with grace? 33:00 What the best empowering leaders all have in common. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Prof. Julia on LinkedIn @drjuliamilner

Self-understanding is the foundation of great leadership. In this episode, I sit down with Margaret Andrews, leadership educator, former executive director of the MBA program at MIT Sloan, and author, to talk about why leadership begins as an inside job. Margaret shares the 6 self-understanding questions, the best boss exercise that shows what people value in leadership, and why interpersonal skills aren’t about being affable. Tune in to rethink what it really means to manage yourself to lead others effectively. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What to do when you’re triggered before you have to show up. 05:00 What is the best way to lead? 10:00 The “best boss” exercise and what 20 years of data reveal. 14:15 The 3 traits that separate good bosses from great ones. 18:15 What is managing yourself to lead others? 22:30 How moments of “hot shame” shape your leadership patterns. 25:00 Why you can’t manage what you don’t understand. 29:00 Should you improve weaknesses or maximize strengths? 33:30 The most common reasons leaders derail. 38:00 How to grow without losing credibility. 42:00 Why telling people what you’re working on can build trust. 45:00 Ways to practice self-management without losing status. 49:00 How do you get unscared of heart emotions? Resources + Links Learn more about Margaret Andrews HERE Get your copy of Margaret’s book, Manage Yourself to Lead Others HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Margaret on LinkedIn @margaretcandrews