SSP207: 5 Wounded Boy Patterns That Push Your Partner Away

What if the emptiness you feel at the top has nothing to do with how much you have achieved, and everything to do with what you have been avoiding?Six years after our first conversation, Mikey Spivak and I sat down again in Toronto. We run a business together now, and we host men's retreats where guys come to do the real inner work. In this episode we talk about faith and how it changed us both, the loneliness underneath success, workaholism as an addiction that gets celebrated instead of confronted, why men are being pulled back to religion and tradition, and why commitment is what summons a new level of capacity.Here's what we explore:•  Why success can leave high-performing men feeling lonely and disconnected, even when everything looks good on paper•  Workaholism as an addiction, and the hardest part is that the world rewards it while it quietly costs you your presence and your relationships•  How commitment, to a practice, to a relationship, to a community, summons a new level of capacityThe outer reflects the inner. Do the inner work, and everything else follows.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we’re a good fit to work together by clicking here.Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: @Jordancandlish01🐦 Twitter: JordanCandlish🎵 TikTok: @jordancandlish01🤳🏽 Telegram: https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

Boyhood patterns are running your relationship right now, and they have nothing to do with your age. After coaching thousands of men and 11 years with my partner Amanda, I know these five by name, and in this episode I walk you through each one, where it comes from, and what to do instead, so you can stop pushing away the woman who wants to devote herself to you.What we explore:•  The victim trap: why believing life is happening to you keeps the same reality on repeat, and how taking responsibility gives you your power back.•  Reacting vs responding: boys react, men respond. How to catch yourself shutting down, defending or pulling away when things get intense.•  Shutting down emotionally: the defense mechanism that protects you from feeling, and how to stay present and say what you actually need.•  Validation seeking: when your mood is a slave to your partner's mood, and how to stop performing for love and know you are enough.•  Minimizing her problems: why her emotions are valid even when the story she tells herself is not, and how holding space makes you the man she trusts.Catch these early, and you keep the love you actually want.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalised 1-1 coaching from me? Book a call => jordancandlish.comJoin the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJoin one of my upcoming men's retreats: teamm8s.comJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: @Jordancandlish01🐦 Twitter: JordanCandlish🎵 TikTok: @jordancandlish01Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@jordancandlishABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

What if the very behaviours that helped you become successful are the same ones holding you back from the life and relationships you truly want?In this solo episode, I reflect on the powerful lessons from my recent men's retreat in Ontario, Canada, where men came together to explore the emotional patterns and deeply rooted beliefs shaping their lives.I break down three common masks men develop: playing small, overachieving, and hyper-independence, exploring how these patterns often begin in childhood and continue to influence confidence, emotional expression, and romantic relationships.From men who struggle to speak up and set boundaries to high achievers who constantly feel the need to prove their worth, I share why external success doesn't always translate into internal fulfilment.I also explore the connection between the body and emotional expression, the importance of learning to receive love and support, and why the real work of personal transformation begins when you return to everyday life.In this episode, you'll discover:How childhood experiences can shape the masks men wearWhy some men struggle to take up space and communicate their needsThe hidden emotional cost of overachievementWhy working harder can't solve every relationship challengeHow hyper-independence can prevent deeper connectionWhat it takes to begin moving beyond old patterns and reconnecting with your authentic selfBecause your worth isn't measured by how much you achieve, how hard you work, or how much you can handle on your own.WORK WITH ME🌎Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJoin an upcoming men’s retreat: teamm8s.comBook a coaching call: jordancandlish.comJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: @Jordancandlish01🐦 Twitter: JordanCandlish🎵 TikTok: @jordancandlish01🤳🏽 Telegram: https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

Is having sex before marriage a sin?It’s a question that comes with a lot of different beliefs, expectations and interpretations — especially when faith and relationships are involved.In this episode, I share my personal perspective on sex before marriage, my relationship with God, and what I’ve learned from 11 years with Amanda.We dive into why I believe the deeper message behind spiritual teachings on sex may be less about rules and more about intention, commitment, consciousness and the kind of relationship you’re building.If you’ve ever wrestled with where sex, love, marriage and your relationship with God fit together, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

Do you ever wonder why the sexual attraction in your relationship has started to fade?You love your partner, but maybe the spark, desire and intimacy just aren’t what they used to be.In this episode, I break down what I’ve learned from 11 years with Amanda about keeping attraction alive in a long-term relationship — and the patterns that can quietly kill that polarity.I’ll share the framework I use with the men I coach to bring more aliveness, confidence, purpose and masculine energy back into their lives — and ultimately, back into their relationships.If you want to reignite the attraction and become the man your partner naturally desires, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

Have you ever felt like you and your partner have slowly become more like roommates than lovers?You still love each other, but somewhere along the way, the fun, sexual tension and desire just aren’t what they used to be.In this episode, I break down what I’ve learned from 11 years with Amanda about keeping attraction alive in a long-term relationship — and the patterns that can quietly kill the spark without you even realizing it.We talk about independence, dating your partner, purpose, friendship, and the roles we expect our partners to play.If you want to bring more passion, play and sexual desire back into your relationship, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

There are certain patterns men carry from boyhood into their relationships without even realizing it.They can show up as shutting down, reacting instead of responding, seeking validation, playing the victim, or minimizing what your partner is experiencing.And the problem is, these patterns can quietly get in the way of the love, connection and relationship you actually want.In this episode, I break down five of the biggest boyhood patterns I’ve seen in myself and thousands of men I’ve coached — and what it actually looks like to start moving beyond them.If you want to understand yourself better, show up differently in your relationship, and step into a more mature version of yourself, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

In this episode, I sit down with my fiancée, Amanda, for our first-ever podcast together.After nearly 10 years together, we finally sit down and have one of the real, unfiltered conversations we usually only have behind closed doors. We talk about the doubts we’ve faced, the hard seasons that tested our relationship, the moments we weren’t sure we were going to last, and what brought us back together.We also dive into love, intimacy, attraction, independence, masculinity and femininity, our proposal, and what it really takes to continue growing together without losing yourself along the way.You’ve seen Amanda and me in the content, but in this episode, you’ll get to know her — and our relationship — on a much deeper level.No scripts. No skits. Just a real conversation. This is an episode you won’t want to miss.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

You can’t attract the love or life you want without first showing up as the person who can hold it.In this episode, I sit down with Kady O'Connel, a relationship and self-mastery coach for Part 2, to unpack what it really takes to create deep attraction, healthy boundaries, and a partnership that elevates both people. From navigating desire and standards to balancing love, parenting, and personal growth, this conversation is about becoming the version of you who can show up fully in your relationships. If you’re ready to level up your love and your life, this episode will hit.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.

You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you rise to the level of your identity. In this episode, I sit down with Kady O’Connell to unpack what it truly takes to show up fully in relationships, life, and yourself. From stepping out of survival mode to designing your ‘new self,’ Kady shares how to navigate reactivity, cultivate presence, and create space for growth, so you can hold your own needs while truly understanding others. If you’re ready to deepen your connection with yourself and those around you, this conversation will inspire and empower you.WORK WITH ME🌎Want personalized 1-1 coaching from me to unlock more presence, peace, and joy in your life? Apply for a clarity call to see if we're a good fit to work together by clicking⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠Join the Relationship SKool: 👉🏼 https://www.skool.com/relationshipskool/aboutJOIN MY COMMUNITY📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠@Jordancandlish01⁠⁠🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠JordanCandlish⁠⁠🎵 TikTok: ⁠⁠@jordancandlish01⁠⁠🤳🏽 Telegram:⁠ ⁠https://t.me/+9seMDl336tQ0MTY1⁠⁠ABOUT MEAs a coach with over a decade of experience, I am committed to helping men unleash their full potential and live fulfilling lives. On my Podcast channel, I interview world-class leaders and experts and share with you the strategies and rituals you need to go to the next level.