Rejecting God – Mark Haville’s Story | Ep. 147

What happens when suffering shapes your picture of God? For Paul Snyder, the God he rejected as a young boy seemed harsh, distant, and impossible to please. Growing up amid fear, family brokenness, rejection, and disappointment, he concluded that if God existed at all, He certainly wasn't good. By the age of twelve, Paul had reached a point of despair. Filled with anger and skepticism, he did something many people secretly feel but rarely admit. He challenged God directly.What happened next changed everything. Paul shares how an unexpected encounter with the love of Christ transformed his understanding of God and set him on a lifelong journey of faith and service.  🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Guest Bio: Paul Snyder is the president of Global Bridges, an international ministry serving persecuted believers, vulnerable children, and marginalized communities in some of the world's most restricted nations. Continuing a legacy of gospel ministry that spans generations, Paul is passionate about demonstrating the love of Christ through practical compassion and humanitarian aid. He is also the co-author of Love Shines, a book highlighting the importance of Scripture and the extraordinary story behind the ministry's work among persecuted Christians around the world. Once an atheist shaped by suffering and disappointment, Paul now dedicates his life to helping others encounter the hope and love he found in Jesus.  Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Book: Love Shines: From Smuggling Bibles to Training a Million Disciples; https://globalbridgesrelief.org/loveshines/ Global Bridges – International ministry serving persecuted believers and vulnerable communities: https://globalbridgesrelief.org/ Open Doors (founded by Brother Andrew) Ethnos360 (formerly New Tribes Mission) YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Chapters   00:00 Paul’s “Liquid Love” Encounter 00:54 If God Is Good, Why Do We Suffer? 02:00 Serving the Persecuted with Global Bridges 04:48 A Family Legacy of Faith 09:25 From Smuggling Bibles to Smuggling Drugs 11:41 How His Father Shaped His View of God 15:33 “God Was Like Santa Claus” 16:49 Paul Reaches a Point of Despair 19:21 He Challenges God to Prove He’s Real 19:47 “Liquid Love” Poured Over Him 20:23 God Says, “I Love You” 21:36 Jesus Is More Than a Philosophy 23:01 Discovering God Through the Bible 26:05 Why Scripture Matters 27:18 If God Is Good, Why Is There Suffering? 30:18 Escaping Performance-Based Christianity 34:44 Is God Supposed to Stop All Suffering? 36:02 Do You Need a Dramatic Encounter with God? 39:01 Where Should a Skeptic Start? 41:00 How Christians Should Engage with Skeptics  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Growing up in a deeply Christian home, Shayla Perez assumed that faith was simply part of her family tradition. But as she entered her teenage years, skepticism began to grow. Questions about suffering and whether Christianity was actually true led her into online atheist communities and eventually to reject the faith she grew up around. What began as rebellion soon became a sincere search for truth. As Shayla wrestled with the claims of atheism and the intellectual foundations of Christianity, she discovered something she had never expected. Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  Guest Bio: Shayla Perez is a Christian speaker and content creator passionate about helping the next generation discover the truth of Christianity. After a season of skepticism and involvement in online atheist communities as a teenager, she returned to faith through apologetics, philosophy, and a personal encounter with Christ. Today, she reaches Gen Z and Gen Alpha through social media, youth events, and churches, engaging honest questions about faith and culture.  Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Shayla’s Recommended Resources: William Lane Craig, Reasonable Faith https://www.reasonablefaith.org Frank Turek, Cross-Examined, https://crossexamined.org Cliff Knechtle, Give me an Answer: https://www.youtube.com/@givemeananswer Got Questions: https://www.gotquestions.org Total Truth and Finding Truth, Nancy Pearcey:https://a.co/d/066TnGwI Shayla’s Social Resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shayla_j_perez/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shayla_Perez TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shayla_j_perez Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 Introduction: "God, If You're Real..." 00:34 Welcome & Introducing Shayla Perez 02:00 Shayla's Ministry & The Digital Mission Field 03:54 Growing Up a Pastor's Kid 06:08 When Skepticism Began 08:00 The Internet & Online Atheist Communities 11:12 Reading The Case for Christ (But Not Believing It) 13:24 What Atheism Couldn't Explain 14:57 Richard Dawkins, Morality & The First Doubts 17:48 Wrestling with the Problem of Evil 20:41 Christian Apologists Changed Everything 23:17 Giving God One Honest Chance 26:21 When Prayer Became Real 27:00 The Moment Shayla Came to Faith 29:52 Faith Isn't Blind 32:35 Can Logic Strengthen Faith? 34:02 How Do You Know Christianity Is True? 36:08 Advice for Parents of Skeptical Teens 42:46 Resources for Those Wrestling with Doubt 46:13 What Christianity Offers Gen Z 49:38 The Power of Personal Testimony 52:40 Why the Internet Is Today's Mission Field 55:50 Final Reflections & Takeaways eX-skeptic transcript Welcome & Introducing Shayla Perez

For decades, Charles Murray assumed what many educated people quietly assume - that religion belonged to an earlier age and that science had rendered belief in God unnecessary. He wasn't hostile to faith. He simply left it behind. But over time, questions he had never fully examined began pressing in. Why is there something rather than nothing? Why does the universe appear so finely tuned for life? Can consciousness really be reduced to the brain? And what should we make of the historical claims surrounding Jesus? In this conversation, author and social scientist Charles Murray shares the long, intellectual journey that led him to reconsider the reality of God and the claims of Christianity. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  Guest Bio: Charles Murray is a social scientist, author, and public intellectual known for his work on culture, social policy, and human flourishing. A longtime scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, he has written widely discussed books including Coming Apart, The Bell Curve, and Losing Ground. His recent book, Taking Religion Seriously, reflects on his intellectual journey from secular indifference toward a growing openness to belief in God and the significance of religion in human life. Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Charles’ Resources: Book:  Taking Religion Seriously: https://a.co/d/07zebfp4 Charles Recommended Resources: Just Six Numbers by Martin Rees: https://a.co/d/09w1XE5g Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis: https://a.co/d/0ejEDb7P Jesus and the Eye Witnesses by Richard Bauckham: https://a.co/d/0gg8Uplk Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 The Fine-Tuning Argument for God 00:34 Introduction 02:39 Meet Charles Murray 05:07 Why He Wrote Taking Religion Seriously 06:33 Harvard and the Assumption That Smart People Don't Believe 08:32 Growing Up Christian and Drifting Away 11:18 Materialism, Consciousness, and Near-Death Experiences 14:42 How Love Challenged His Worldview 17:01 Why Charles Chose an Evidence-Based Journey 19:06 The Question: Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? 21:42 The Fine-Tuned Universe and Just Six Numbers 24:10 Does the Multiverse Solve the Problem? 26:19 Near-Death Experiences and Consciousness Beyond the Brain 27:35 Terminal Lucidity and the Human Soul 30:10 How C.S. Lewis Changed His Thinking 33:31 Investigating the Historical Reliability of the Gospels 37:17 The Evidence for the Shroud of Turin 42:04 Why the Resurrection Deserves Serious Consideration 46:21 Where Charles Murray Landed After 25 Years of Searching 48:04 Has Science Strengthened the Case for God? 53:25 Why God's Grace Became Real 55:23 Charles Murray's Message to Modern Skeptics 58:18 Final Reflections

Is Christianity true because it works, or does it work because it's true? For years, Ellie Long was convinced that Christianity was nothing more than a story people used to cope with life. Raised in a secular environment and embracing atheism at a young age, she wrestled with despair, depression, and the belief that life ultimately had no purpose beyond birth and death. But when she began encountering Christians whose lives were marked by joy, authenticity, forgiveness, and hope, a question emerged that she could no longer ignore: Was Christianity merely helpful, or was it actually true? 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH   Guest Bio: Ellie Long is a young missionary from Allentown, Pennsylvania. She grew up in a post-Christian culture and did not have experiences with Christians in her everyday life. She unexpectedly encountered God halfway through her time at the University of Alabama, and after a period of hesitancy and questioning, believed and began working in a local church and pursuing the mission field after her graduation in 2024. She recently spent time in Southeast Asia, working with an unreached people group in a Muslim culture, and is now considering where she is going to bring the gospel to next.  Resources Mentioned:  eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Ellie’s Recommended Resources: •        Wes Huff (www.wesleyhuff.com) on Joe Rogan’s podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwyAX69xG1Q •        Gavin Ortlund, Truth Unites (https://truthunites.org) •        Book: Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, Nabeel Quereshi  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 Is Christianity Helpful—or True? 05:15 Meet Ellie Long 06:02 Becoming an Atheist at 10 08:35 Growing Up Without God 10:56 The Hopelessness of Atheism 14:01 Wishing My Life Away 16: 04 Finding Hope in an Unexpected Bible Verse 19:00 The Church Experience I Couldn't Explain 23:28 Seeing Christians Differently 25:00 Why Do They Love God? 30:27 Searching for Freedom in College 34:30 Returning to Church 35:46 Accidentally Joining a Bible Study 38:57 Trying Christianity Before Believing 45:08 Asking God to Prove He Was Real 48:20 When Christianity Became True 49:24 What Is the Gospel? 53:33 How Jesus Changed My Life 55:41 Evidence for the Resurrection 01:02:10 Advice for Skeptics Searching for Truth

What happens when anger, disappointment, and painful family experiences shape your understanding of God? For Rich Robison, faith wasn't something he was searching for. Raised in a fractured home and moving 26 times before graduating high school, Rich eventually rejected God altogether. His anger toward his earthly father became anger toward any heavenly Father, and atheism seemed like the obvious conclusion. But an unexpected encounter during a concert changed everything. What followed was a journey through different world religions, hard intellectual questions, and a growing fascination with the person of Jesus. Along the way, Rich discovered that Christianity's message was unlike anything else he encountered, not a story of striving to reach God, but the story of God coming to us. Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Rich Robison blends engineering leadership, entrepreneurship, and faith. For the past two decades, he’s been navigating the software industry through tech companies big and small. A serial cofounder, Rich has helped launch multiple companies with successful exits. He sees his work as a mission field in itself.  Based in Northern Colorado, Rich has been married for 22 years, and he’s the proud dad of two daughters, Abby and Chloe, and the owner of three dogs, Porter, Stout, and Hefeweizen. 2026 year marks his 30th spiritual birthday!  Resources Mentioned: Rich’s Resources: •        LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richrobison/ •        Email: [email protected]  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 The Moment I Knew God Was Real 00:31 Introducing Rich Robison 01:49 Technology, Faith & Studying Scripture 03:42 Growing Up in a Broken Home 05:23 Why Religion Didn't Make Sense 06:40 Anger at God & Becoming an Atheist 08:21 Does Atheism Require Faith? 11:50 Searching for Joy & Fulfillment 13:15 An Unexpected Encounter with God 16:21 When God Reached Out First 17:15 Searching Through World Religions 19:05 Why the Baha'i Faith Fell Short 21:30 Why Jesus Stood Apart 23:00 Seeing the Power of Prayer 25:00 Finding Freedom from Addiction 27:00 Wrestling with Christianity's Exclusive Claims 35:06 What Makes Christianity Different? 37:45 Suffering, Forgiveness & Breaking the Cycle 45:04 How Faith Transformed Rich's Life 49:00 Finding Peace & Advice for Skeptics

What would cause someone with both emotional and intellectual reasons to reject God to reconsider? Mark Haville grew up in the UK in an abusive home with no religious foundation and little reason to believe God was real. Science, suffering, and life experience all seemed to point him away from faith. But an unexpected encounter with a persistent Christian neighbor, a strange answer to prayer, and a growing hunger for truth opened the door to a life he never expected. In this episode, Mark shares his journey from a painful childhood and practical atheism to faith in Christ. He and Jana talk about suffering, forgiveness, science, evolution, apologetics, and why belief is not just a matter of evidence, but of the whole person - mind, will, and emotion.   🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Mark Haville has worked in Christian media for more than thirty years as a producer, writer, and filmmaker. A graduate of Hampstead Bible School in London, he also holds two work-equivalency degrees in Directing and Film Studies from Montana State University. He is an award-winning producer and author of Life’s Story, a wildlife documentary presenting a creation perspective, and has engaged in public debates on questions of origins of life. Now based in Nashville, Mark continues developing feature film projects exploring faith and the deeper questions of life. Resources Mentioned: Mark’s Resources: •        Timeless Life Ministries: [email protected] •        Film: Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed - https://www.amazon.com/Expelled-Intelligence-Allowed-Ben-Stein/dp/B003LMSSVC  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 Mark Haville’s Story 02:00 Christian Filmmaking and Timeless Life Ministries 04:15 Growing Up Without God 07:33 Evolution and an Atheistic Worldview 08:18 Leaving Home at 15 10:05 The Christian Who Changed Everything 11:48 A Strange Dream and an Answer to Prayer 13:38 Going to Church for the First Time 16:53 Experiencing a Real Change 19:02 Searching for More Than Blind Faith 22:18 Where Is God in Suffering? 25:08 Why Would a Good God Allow Pain? 28:53 Suffering, Forgiveness, and Transformation 30:44 Testing Christianity Through Science and History 34:00 Challenging the Atheistic Worldview 36:58 Is There Evidence for God? 44:57 Be Better Ambassadors 41:08 What Should a Skeptic Do Next? 50:33 A Prayer for Anyone Searching for Truth eX-skeptic transcript

What does it cost to build a life without God? For Anh Le, it meant carrying everything - his identity, purpose, success, and morality, alone. Raised without religious commitment and shaped by a worldview rooted in self-reliance, Anh believed meaning and fulfillment was something you created and earned. And for a while, it seemed to work. Driven by ambition, relationships, and the pursuit of pleasure, he chased everything that promised satisfaction. But underneath it all, he was crumbling with anxiety, emptiness, and a quiet realization that nothing he built could hold the weight he was placing on it. Then, unexpectedly, everything changed. In this episode, Anh shares his journey from atheism and self-reliance to a living relationship with Jesus, one that redefined identity, restored purpose, and brought a peace he never thought possible. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  Guest Bio: Anh Le is the host of The Real Life Radio Show, a nationally syndicated program airing on both Christian and secular radio networks across the United States. With over a decade in broadcasting, Anh explores the question: Is Jesus still real and active today? Once an atheist shaped by science, self-reliance, and personal ambition, Anh now shares his story of encountering Christ and discovering a radically different way to live, rooted in relationship with God. He is also a business owner and communicator passionate about helping others move from skepticism to honest exploration. Resources Mentioned:  Host, The Real Life Radio Show - https://therealliferadioshow.com/home •        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anh.le.3192 •        Twitter/X: @evangelistanhle •        YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@therealliferadioshow  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Chapters 00:00 What Happens When You Build Life Without God? 02:00 Meet Ahn Le 03:00 Growing Up Between Buddhism and Catholicism 09:50 When His Family Began to Fall Apart 12:45 The Prayer That Seemed to Go Unanswered 14:40 Choosing to Find His Own Way 16:20 Why Religion Seemed Man-Made 20:35 The Pressure of Making It on Your Own 23:30 Can You Be Good Without God? 28:55 Chasing Happiness, Success, and Relationships 36:05 When the Dream Started Falling Apart 41:05 Anxiety, Failure, and Losing Control 43:55 Why Success Wasn't Enough 48:20 The Unexpected Thought: Go to Church 52:15 An Atheist Goes to a Christian Retreat 55:00 What Christians Had That He Didn't 58:15 The Bible Verse That Changed Everything 01:03:20 "I Know You" — An Encounter He Couldn't Explain 01:07:50 Realizing Jesus Might Actually Be Real 01:11:00 The Peace That Changed His Life

What if the biggest barrier between you and God are the quiet lies you’ve believed about Him your entire life? Jeremy Gronau carried those lies for years, formed through trauma, loss, and a lifetime of trying to prove his worth. After growing up without a clear understanding of the gospel, Jeremy built his identity on achievement, strength, and performance, ultimately serving as an Apache helicopter pilot in Afghanistan. But beneath the surface were deeper questions about suffering, identity, and whether God could truly be good. In this conversation, Jeremy shares his journey from shallow, cultural Christianity and skepticism to a life transformed by a personal encounter with God. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  C.S. Lewis Institute Summer Academy: https://www.cslewisinstitute.org/?event=global-event-c-s-lewis-institute-summer-academy&event_date=2026-07-12 Guest Bio: Jeremy Gronau is a former U.S. Army Apache helicopter pilot who served nearly a decade in the military, including a deployment to Afghanistan. After leaving the military due to severe physical injury, Jeremy pursued a Master’s degree in Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University, specializing in crisis and trauma intervention. He is the founder of Warriors in Christ, a Christian counseling practice dedicated to helping veterans, first responders, and individuals navigate trauma, restore relationships, and discover their God-given purpose. Jeremy is passionate about helping others experience healing, identity in Christ, and the transforming power of the gospel. Resources Mentioned: Jeremy’s Resources: •        Website: Warriors for Christ - https://warriorsinchrist.one •        YouTube Bible study: https://www.youtube.com/@Warriors-In-Christ Atheists Finding God: https://exskeptic.org/atheistsfindinggod/  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What if being brilliant, successful, and disciplined still isn’t enough to save you from fear, obsession, and self-destruction? From the outside, Lisa’s life looked enviable—PhD, postdoctoral research at a leading medical school, and a rising career in behavioral health. But beneath the surface, she was unraveling: anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, and relentless obsessive fear followed her for years. Convinced that intelligent, rational people didn’t need God, Lisa tried everything except faith. It wasn’t until desperation forced her to confront the limits of her own limits that she became open, reluctantly, to the possibility she might be wrong.   🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Dr. Lisa Stanton is a social psychologist, researcher, and writer. With a PhD in social psychology and a career in behavioral health, she brings a rare blend of empirical insight and personal honesty to questions of identity, meaning, and human flourishing. Her recent work centers on her personal experiences in recovery from not only addiction, but also eating disorders, anxiety conditions, ADHD, irritable bowel syndrome, alopecia areata, and more. Lisa writes at drlisastanton.com, shares reflections on Instagram at @drlisastanton. Resources Mentioned: Lisa’s Resources: •        Website:  drlisastanton.com •        Instagram: @drlisastanton •        Book: 52 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned in Recovery: A Journey Towards Sobriety, Honesty, and Radical Forgiveness Lisa’s recommended resources: •        Alpha Course – https://www.alpha.org •        OCIA - https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/264519/becoming-catholic-everything-you-need-to-know-about-ocia •        Bible Study Fellowship - https://www.bsfinternational.org •        Wes Huff, Christian Apologist - https://www.wesleyhuff.com Atheists Finding God: https://exskeptic.org/atheistsfindinggod/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 From Skepticism to Freedom 00:06 Meet Dr. Lisa Stanton 03:03 Taking Her Faith Public 04:02 Growing Up Confused About God 08:25 When Suffering Made God Seem Impossible 15:47 Driven by Fear and Achievement 17:51 Faith, College, and the “God of Rationality” 21:42 How Academia Reinforced Her Secular Worldview 26:35 Anxiety, OCD, and Eating Disorders 29:00 Addiction and the Cycle She Couldn't Break 33:25 Desperation Becomes the Turning Point 35:44 COVID and Drinking Around the Clock 38:32 The First Step Toward Sobriety 39:55 Trying to Get Sober Without God 42:24 The Recovery Meeting That Changed Everything 44:00 “I Need to Know Your Secret” 45:45 The Day She Surrendered to God 48:00 What Changed After Surrender 50:37 Finding Freedom Through Faith and Forgiveness 58:25 Is Christianity Actually True?