After Action Report #12

Dan interviews, argues and politely spars with gay evangelical Christian Matthew Vines, author of "God and the Gay Christian." Vines, who is married to his husband since 2022, was a potent advocate for gay marriage. Now he and Dan have a debate about the role of monogamy in gay life and society in general. They both take the gloves off, and somehow remain friends at the end of this long conversation. We are releasing about 20 minutes of it on the Micro version, and the whole thing is on the Magnum, available by subscription at Savage.Love. Check out Matthews book God and the Gay Christian, and his talk on monogamy at The Reformation Project's 2025 Reconcile & Reform Conference.

Yip! Yap! Bite! A woman's little, nasty, needy dogs are anything but "comfort animals" and her girlfriend isn't having it. She refuses to move in with the caller while those tiny beasts are around. Are they fundamentally incompatible? A British woman learned that her husband had sexual experiences with other boys at his British boarding school. She never knew this and finds it shocking. Dan brings on the sexiest survivor of boarding schools that we know- porn star John Thomas. Let John's amazing voice take you on a journey examining situational homosexuality at British boarding schools. And on the Magnum, a man with blood cancer has an enlarged spleen. He's worried that anal sex might cause him harm. Dan brings on anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein to talk about risks, and how sex toys can rearrange your guts...safely. And a woman who is learning about gay intimacy for the first time through "Heated Rivalry" wonders if homo sex goes as fast as it does on the tee-vee. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now,  get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A swinging couple found a service that would fulfill their fantasy: a gang bang composed of men she chose. You may never think of gang bangs the same way again. Did you do something amazing? Tell us! Tell us! [email protected] This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

Have we reached peak poly drama? A queer woman has been open with her male live-in partner, having lots of great sex with him and others. The problem? His cat won't pay any attention to her. She doesn't feel jealous of the humans in their lives, but this cat! A widowed 81 year-old woman has taken up with her 56 year-old gardener. But he went and confessed to his priest who told him to cut it out. Should she try to convince him to keep loving her up? On the Magnum, enter Eric Williams, comedian and host of That’s A Gay Ass Podcast. Dan torments his very homosexual guest by asking him to answer a question about cunnilingus. Also discussed: What made them gay? And here's a PSA: Please leave the actors of Heated Rivalry alone. And, ethical dilemma ahoy! A divorced woman with kids is enjoying her Cumspringa- hooking up with lots of men and having a great time. She makes up personae for herself, withholding her real name, her job, or that she has kids. Her friend thinks this is immoral and that she should come clean about who she is to her lovers. What do you think? What do you think Dan will say? What Dan says...may shock you. [email protected]. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Mill, odorless, effortless, fully automated food recycler. Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at Mill.com/Savage and use code Savage at checkout. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

Louis, a self proclaimed cuddle-slut, found exactly what he wanted at the Liquid Love event. Hear ALL about it. If you have a SENSUAL tale to tell, scribble it down and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.

What is the polite way to ask someone to clean their teeth and deal with their neglected oral hygiene? A man's girlfriend wants him to ignore her sexually, and focus exclusively on himself. But he wants to give her pleasure. How can they reconcile this? On the Magnum, have humans always been kinky? If the history of the Middle Ages is any indication, the answer has to be "Oh hell yeah!" Or so says our guest: Eleanor Janega- a medieval historian specializing in gender and sexuality, apocalypticism, and propaganda. Accounts of religious life from that period are riddled with perversion. So people have been freaky for a long, long time. Dan and Dr. Janega have a cheerful conversation about it. A gay man wonders if he should be miffed when some other dude gives his boyfriend a sexy thong. NOT. OKAY. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, baker and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

A cautionary tale from Jennie who went to the sex club with an open mind and ended up with bruises on…well you’ll have to listen to find out what went wrong.  We want to hear your story! The good, the bad, the ecstatic and the unpleasant.  Write about your weird time, and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report. We’re listening.

Welcome to the first ever Sex and...Television! For those of you who are obsessed with the Canadian homo hockey romance Heated Rivalry, here's a convo for you. Dan and sex therapist Claire Perelman dish, discuss and swoon over the super-horny show. Enjoy!

Happy New Year, and a very happy Feast of the Ass to you and yours.  In honor of the holiday, our first caller asks if he should keep a cup of mouthwash handy for when he moves from ass-eating to pussy-eating.  A man wants strategies on how to talk his sister out of circumcising her newborn son.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Ellen Huet, a plucky, investigative journalist who uncovered an exploitative sex cult that revolves around female orgasm. Her book EMPIRE OF ORGASM about OneTaste, a sexual wellness company is amazing, and she and Dan had a LOT to talk about.  And, a poly woman wonders if when making introductions, she should reveal the poly status of two friends, so they know they are all “in the lifestyle.” [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to Beducated.com and use the code SAVAGE for 50% a yearly pass.  This episode is brought to you by Bubs Naturals: Collagen peptides for joint health & mobility, healthy hair skin and nails, and gym recovery. Right now, to get 20% off, go BubsNaturals.com and use code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From ethical non-monogamy to unethical non-monogamy, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it. :)

Christine and her husband went to a kinky viking party (as one does,) and had a very HOT time. "How attached are you to these nipple hairs?" If you have an amazing or appalling story to share, DO NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Write it up and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report. Maybe we'll get back to you!