Episode 198: Paula Arai

On the origins of our best behavior, managing undue shame and the price women pay to be good.

 On radical self-responsibility and reprocessing our childhood shame to empowerment and creativity. (2:42) – Sophie’s Personal Journey and Research on Highly Sensitive Children (5:17) – Understanding Rooted Rhythm Therapy and Parent Coaching (8:19) – The Nature of “Big Feelings” and Their Impact on Children (10:08) – Practical Tips for Parents of Highly Sensitive Children (15:36) – The Role of Authenticity and Congruency in Parenting (20:55) – The Role of EMDR in Therapy and Parenting Sophie Schauermann, LCSW is a licensed therapist and parent coach based in Denver, CO. Her passion and expertise lie in supporting highly sensitive children (and their parents) in harnessing their sensitivities into their superpowers. She is the founder of Rooted Rhythm Therapy and Parent Coaching, which was born out of the belief that children must get to know the beat of their own drum in order to confidently reach their potential…and that the best kind of parent is one that is Rooted in their own Rhythm. Sophie supports her clients with Synergetic Play Therapy, EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) Therapy, and Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy. She has over 10 years of experience working closely with children and families in many settings, including the Harvard Medical School’s laboratory for youth mental health, the public school system, community based mental health programs, and now in private practice. Her greatest learning, however, lies in her personal story of healing and growth into the person that she is today. Sophie is the proud wife to another therapist and bonus mama to two amazing kiddos that she couldn’t imagine life without.  

On resetting after betrayal and spiritual abuse, shifting self-loathing, and service as crucial to our healing. (1:00) - Reinventing oneself after doors close in life. (4:56) - Addiction, self-loathing, and recovery. (11:31) - Addiction recovery, self-discovery, and service. (17:25) - Healing from trauma and supporting others. (21:18) - Spiritual betrayal and abuse of power in a spiritual community. (27:24) - Healing from past traumas and finding freedom in one's 50s. Ryan Haddon is the Director of Programming at Sage + Sound’s dedicated space for mental and emotional fitness, called The Study. She is an old friend, a certified Life and Spiritual coach, a clinical Hypnotherapist and certified meditation teacher with over 18 years of experience with hundreds of clients around the world. A sought-after public speaker for corporate retreats such as the international talent agency CAA, for three Tapping Solution Summits, Visionary Women and more.

On hospicing modernity, an invitation to hold many paradoxical layers of complexity, to stretch your heart, to know vulnerability as your strength. (1:00) - Colonialism, identity, and family history. (7:10) - Modernity, its definition, and its impact on society, culture, and the environment. (16:53) - Modernity, colonialism, and their impact on humanity's mental health and well-being. (26:20) - Education, storytelling, and connection to nature. (32:50) - Indigenous perspectives on psychology, including the concept of the "bus" representing the multiplicity within the self. (39:08) - Modern society's disconnection from nature and self, with a focus on indigenous knowledge and practices for healing and growth. Dr. Vanessa Machado de Oliveira Andreotti has served as a Latinx professor at the University of British Columbia, now Dean of the Faculty of Education of the University of Victoria.  Dr. Andreotti is a former Canada Research Chair in Race, Inequalities and Global Change and a former David Lam Chair in Multicultural Education. She is the author of Hospicing Modernity: Facing humanity’s wrongs and the implications for social activism (2021) and one of the co-founders of the Gesturing Towards Decolonial Futures (GTDF) Arts/Research Collective. Most of her published articles and OpEds are available at academia.edu. She began her career as a teacher in Brazil in 1994 and has since led educational and research programs in countries including the UK, Finland, Aotearoa/New Zealand, Brazil, and Canada. Andreotti works across sectors in international and comparative education, particularly focusing on global justice and citizenship, Indigenous and community engagement, sustainability, and social and ecological responsibility. Her research examines relationships between historical, systemic, and on-going forms of violence, and the inherent unsustainability of modernity. Andreotti is one of the founding members of Gesturing Decolonial Futures Collective (decolonialfutures.net) and Teia das 5 Curas, an international network of Indigenous communities mostly in Canada and Latin America. She currently collaborates with these groups to direct research projects and learning initiatives related to global healing and wellbeing in times of unprecedented challenges.

On activating compassion through our simplest offerings of forgiveness, care, gratitude and respect. (0:30) - Japanese rituals for beauty, harmony, and love. (10:00) - Cleaning and its connection to healing and mindfulness. (16:36) - Organizing and decluttering, with a focus on the importance of forgiveness and creating more space in life. (24:49) - Healing, self-care, and relationships. (31:48) - Buddhist teachings, suffering, and healing through interconnectedness and self-reflection. Paula Ara was raised in Detroit by a Japanese mother, and did Zen training in Japan. She obtained her Ph.D. in Buddhist Studies from Harvard University in 1993 and is now the Eshinni & Kakushinni Professor of Women and Buddhist Studies at the Institute of Buddhist Studies in Berkeley, California. She is the author of Bringing Zen Home: The Healing Heart of Japanese Women’s Rituals, Women Living Zen: Japanese Soto Buddhist Nuns, and Painting Enlightenment: Healing Visions of the Heart Sutra. Her work has been a tremendous force in my own spiritual formation.

On the duality of resilience, the vitality in softening, the shifting landscape within a diagnosis and finding deep, lasting peace. (5:32) - Cancer treatment, body connection, and self-love.  (11:35) - Resilience, grief, and legacy after cancer diagnosis.  (18:07) - Starting a foundation and creating a membership community for personal growth. (24:59) - Spirituality, self-forgiveness, and patience with a guest speaker.  Alicia Mathlin is the founder of Meditation Pusher, a unique meditation, mindfulness and mindset training company. Alicia has been teaching dynamic teams, professional athletes, entertainers and young people for almost a decade. She teaches in a warm, funny and relatable manner. Alicia is also a yoga teacher, holistic nutritionist and the founder of Theine Foundation. Her background is in international business (London, Paris), and her favourite food is a proper pain au chocolat.    The Practice is a membership community rooted in friendship, not mentorship. It is a quiet and elegant place online created to help you access your peace, activate your power, and unlock your potential on your own terms and in your own time. https://www.meditationpusher.com/thepractice

On steady practices of self-awareness to redefine yourself as often as you wish, and trusting yourself in any situation to make strong choices that serve.

On the importance of self-trust, repression v. suppression, the vitality of solitude for development of our intuition, and the prioritization of feeling over discursive thinking. (1:00) – Intuitive healing and spiritual gifts with Ebony Banks. (4:49) – Nonprofit work, plant-based eating, and community service. (11:32) – Plant-based diets, spirituality, and entrepreneurship. (15:43) – Trauma, healing, and self-trust. (22:24) – Healing from trauma and rape through self-awareness and spiritual practices. (28:33) – Forgiveness and healing after trauma. (37:04) – Intuition, self-trust, and body awareness. Born in Washington, D.C., and raised in Silver Spring, Maryland, Eboni Banks is an Intuitive Healer and Author who has been aware of her intuition since childhood. She is from a lineage of healers and wellness practitioners on both sides of her family. Eboni’s maternal great-grandmother read palms for a living in the 1940s. Her late father was a social worker and hypnotherapist who owned and operated a private practice mental health clinic. Eboni's inspiration to serve others began as a child while spending time in her dad's office and observing his healing work. As a trauma survivor, Eboni has learned to use her wealth of inner spiritual resources to thrive on her own healing journey and is now inspired to teach people how to do the same. To access their intuition to heal the stuck parts of their lives that prevent them from living their desired life. Eboni's main spiritual gift is Clairtangency, which means clear touch and is the ability to receive information and impressions through touch. She is passionate about charitable work and has worked with nonprofit charities for the past 13 years as a development consultant, targeting social justice, pediatric healthcare, and equitable education. In 2016 Eboni received the Osborn Elliott Award for Outstanding Community Service for a volunteer-led organization she founded, which taught people living in Brownsville, Brooklyn, about the importance of incorporating plant-based eating into their diet. Eboni considers herself a mystic and enjoys exploring the balance of physical and non-physical life. She practices yoga, meditates, and listens to mantras in her spare time. Eboni currently lives in New York City, where she shares her thriving spiritual practices with clients.

On presence, living on a prayer, devotion and what it means to pause. (1:00) – Meditation, mindfulness, and personal growth with a meditation teacher. (10:01) – Mindfulness, meditation, and prayer with a focus on personal growth and self-care. (20:34) – Simplifying life, death, and spirituality. Originally from Lima, Peru, Cynthia is a first-generation Latina immigrant to the States, currently living in Texas. As a meditation and mindfulness teacher, mentor, and lifetime student, her two greatest passions are creating and teaching. Cynthia’s deepest joy is to see her students and clients befriend all aspects of themselves to live a more present and compassionate life, one breath at a time. Cynthia has been teaching in-person and online since 2018. For her, teaching is not only sharing the practices and wisdom she’s learned from her teachers, but also being of service to her students and clients to teach/mentor for her own experience. Cynthia’s meditation classes may include Sound Healing, Kirtan, Mantra meditation, aromatherapy, minerals, journaling, and many other holistic healing modalities. She loves to travel around the world for work and play. Cynthia’s other passions are painting, watching the waves of the ocean, drinking coffee or matcha, and chasing sunrises. She dreams about going to Bali, Indonesia and leading meditation retreats around the world. Digital meditation programs and classes for self-study: https://www.cynthiaredhead.com/programs YouTube channel with free resources: https://www.youtube.com/@cynthia.redhead.meditation/  

On prioritizing our connections with our ancestors as a way to elevate our work and the quality of our present relations.